I stood on the dark train station platform, the only illumination coming from a dim yellow light above me. The cold October wind blew, rustling the trees and causing me to pull my coat tighter. The coffee I held in my hand had cooled long ago, providing no comfort against the cold. I looked up and down the empty tree-lined track, the train was supposed to arrive more than an hour ago.
I had thought it would be nice to take the train, remembering all the times I used to visit my grandparents. Me and my grandpa would sit out on the front porch of their little farmhouse, and watch the cargo trains rumble by, carrying lumber. So when I saw there was an option to take a train to visit them, I bought a ticket. I would have given up and taken the bus, but the depot had closed a half hour ago.
Suddenly a loud whistle cut through the air, I looked up in time to see the appearing from the darkness. I was surprised to see it was a steam engine, painted a dark red. A cloud of steam temporarily enveloped the platform as the train came to a stop, obscuring my view of the train. I tossed my empty coffee cup in a nearby trash can, and stepped onto the small platform at the front of one of the cars near the engine. I was once again surprised as I entered the car, it looked as if I had stepped back forty years. The seats were wooden with blood red velvet cushions, and polished wooden tables sat in between each bench.
I picked a seat near the front, placing my bag under the table by my feet. The car was empty except for me, and I saw no staff, not even a conductor. As soon as I settled into my seat, the train began to move. It quickly picked up speed, rattling the whole car. I found myself staring out the window, lost in my thoughts. I almost didn’t notice when the train began to slow, and then braked to a stop.
Once the train came to a full stop, the doors to the car sprung open of their own accord. Three people in black suits entered, walking silently in single file- carrying briefcases. I tried to look at them, and immediately looked away. I could only barely glance at them out of the corner of my eye, if I tried to look directly at them it felt like looking into a bright flashlight. The suits silently took their seats. Even though they had all come in together, they sat separately. Each one took a seat three rows from each other, placing black briefcases by their feet and resting their hands on the table in front of them.
As soon as they took their seats the train began to move again, it quickly picked up the same speed as before. After a while I found my foot tapping to the beat of the engine, rhythmic and fast. It was only by chance that I caught a glance on the engine as we rounded a bend. There was something off about it. The steam that now spilled from the funnel was too dark, it was black as charcoal and nearly invisible against the dark night sky. Sparks flew from the powerful wheels, appearing almost like flames.
I noticed there were no stars in the night sky, the slightest gradient was the only indication it was there. The tree’s no longer looked like tree’s either, they were gnarled and twisted. The rolling fields of crops were replaced by foggy plains.
The whistle blew- and once again the train braked. A station seemed to emerge from the darkness. It was a red brick monstrosity, huge pillars supported a massive arched ceiling. Rows and rows of people waited behind small metal gates, as if lined up for an amusement park ride. I could hear a voice speaking over a loudspeaker, but I was unable to make out what it was saying.
As soon as the train came to a full stop, the whistle blew, and the doors sprung open. The people lined up behind the gates began to slowly move forward, each one pushing past the gate. Suddenly there was a person standing at the door to the car, they wore a conductor’s uniform and they held a ticket puncher. They strangely reminded me of the conductor from the polar express.
Each person that boarded held out a ticket to the conductor who punched it, and the person continued into the car. They sat in the nearest seat, three to one bench, as if they had practiced it many times. They didn’t say anything, the whole car was silent except for the hiss of the engine and the click of the ticket puncher. There seemed to be no pattern to who would board the train. I saw one woman in a Victorian era dress walk down the aisle and sit calmly in a seat next o a man in a pinstriped suit.
There was something off about the people besides their array of clothing. They seemed almost… transparent. I could see the outline of the man in the pinstriped suit through the woman in the dress. They seemed to avoid my row, passing it as if it were already full. They also seemed to avoid the seats the three suits occupied.
As soon as the car was full, the door slammed closed and the whistle blew. Steam billowed out from the sides, engulfing the station completely. As the steam dissipated, the station went with it. We were suddenly moving again, the car already rattling from the speed. Suddenly, as if someone had flipped a switch, the people all around me began to talk. It was quiet, but they began to talk among themselves as if they were best of friends. It didn’t seem to be about one topic either. One person talked about Berlin, while another talked about a bakery in france.
The whistle blew again, reverberating through the car. I thought that now it sounded as if it were the engine screaming. The door to the car opened once more, and a blurry, indistinct shape floated inside. A sound began to emerge from speakers mounted in the ceiling that I hadn’t noticed before. It sounded like gravel thrown in a blender. The sound seemed to pulse along with the blob standing in the doorway. Then it flickered, and like an old tv finding a station, a woman flickered into existence in its place. She was speaking, appearing mid sentence.
“-for boarding railway six six six, your one way trip to hell!” she said, like she was an airline attendant thanking passengers on a flight. She was wearing what looked like a cross between a flight attendant uniform and something a jpop star would wear. A black, red, orange, and yellow frilly skirt around her waist made it look as if she was on fire. I gasped slightly, she was exactly my type. The kind of person I would be drawn to instinctively. I watched- entranced as she continued speaking.
“I’m your host Temptation, I’ll be serving you on this trip with triple six!” she cheerily said “As a reminder all demons, souls, and salesmen must remain inside the car to avoid total obliteration! There will be no meal, and no food is permitted, we don’t want to be eaten by cerberus now do we?” she winked to no one in particular, “And now If you’ll look out the nearest window you’ll see we’re now passing through Purgatory!”
The souls, for that’s what they were, all turned to look out the windows. The dark landscape had changed from a darkened forest to rolling fields. Dense fog rolled across the empty landscape, and I thought I saw figures standing within the clouds of fog. The passengers oohed and ahhed, one of them even raised an old digital camera and snapped a picture.
A voice drew my gaze from the barren landscape. The attendant- Temptation, stood above me, holding out her hand.
“Ticket?” she said, gesturing.
“Umm…” I said, and handed her the ticket for the train I was evidently not on. She examined it, then pulled out a ticket puncher from a hidden pocket and punched it. She handed it back, but kept her hand up when I took the ticket. I stared at it for a second before my brain caught up. I took the granola bar from my backpack and placed it in her gloved hand. She clicked her fingers and it disappeared in a cloud of smoke. She winked at me before walking on down the car, and disappearing into the next one.
I sat there, for lack of a better word, bamboozled. Was this all an elaborate joke? Had I gotten on the wrong train? Who or what had I just spoken to? And most of all, where’s my granola bar? I began to stare out the window again, panic starting to seep into me. None of this should be even possible. Maybe I had fallen asleep, or drugged. Yes! That was it! The barista must have drugged my coffee, this was all an elaborate dream.
I collapsed into my seat. I had no idea what was going on. I saw Temptation making her way towards the front of the car, and as she passed my seat I murmured an “Excuse me.”
Temptation turned- leaning down and placing both elbows on the table, with her head in her hands. “How can I help you?” she said cheerily, winking one eye.
“Umm..” I said, blushing a little, “I think I’m not on the right train.”
“Hmmm…” said the conductor, placing one finger on her cheek in the classic quizzical anime girl look. She held out her hand, and I again placed my ticket on the palm of her hand. A penlight materialized in her hand, and she shone it on and through the punched out area. She finally seemed to come to a conclusion, and she handed back the ticket.
“All good!” she said, “You’re supposed to be here.”
“Oh,” I said, “But uhh… I don’t think I… uh, want to be here?”
Temptation’s eyes narrowed, and she stood up. She kept the same cheery smile as she grabbed my arm, yanking me out of my seat. It was so hard and fast that I didn’t have time to register what had happened before we were out the car door. I was slammed against a small metal railing clinging to the side of the car, purgatory fifteen stories below. We appeared to be crossing a massive stone bridge, that was only the exact width of the train. It gave me a nice view of my certain demise if I were to fall.
I turned, facing Temptation, pressing up against the railing. She stood there- still smiling, and ready to strike a pose with the click of a camera. I was remarkably calm, despite the situation.
“On second thought,” I said, “I think I’ll stay.” Temptation giggled, as if she knew that I would say that. She escorted me inside, and then back to my seat.
“If you need anything, you know where to find me!” said Temptation cheerfully as she walked off.
With nothing better to do, I took my phone from my pocket- and wondered why I hadn’t done so before. I checked the screen. No bars. That was probably to be expected, the underworld probably didn’t pay T-mobile for wide coverage. I tried dialing my mom’s number anyway. It rang once, then went to voicemail. I hit end call, the realization that I had no idea what was going on just now beginning to catch up with me.
I flipped to the camera app, and aimed my phone out the window. Far below banks of fog rolled across gray fields. I snapped a picture, and tapped to view it. The photo was glitchy and distorted at the edges, like the landscape was reluctant to exist in photo form. I zoomed in on one of the fog banks. Figures of people were silhouetted in the fog, like ghostly shadow puppets.
The whistle blew and we were suddenly inside a tunnel, red brick walls illuminated by the sparks that flew from the wheels of the train. A chime played through the speakers in the ceiling, and Temptation’s voice followed.
“We’re now entering Hell, the drinks car will be open for those who are not incorporeal.”
I looked down at my phone again, and flicked out of the camera. I was about to shut it off, when I saw an app that hadn’t been there before. It was titled “Service 666”, the icon was a steam engine with 666 printed on the side. I tapped it and the screen displayed what appeared to be the app’s central hub. At the top of the screen a small display scrolled what looked like the next station, a countdown next to it. Three minutes.
Other icons were listed as drinks, tickets, and info. I tapped on the drinks icon and a menu popped up, listing an assortment of beverages and cocktails. They all seemed to be from the 1950’s, the style and names reminiscent of that era. Out of curiosity I tapped on a drink labeled “Devil’s kiss tempranillo.” underneath “Aged for 3452 years” as displayed.
I heard movement and I looked up to see Temptation standing there, a glass of wine on a small wooden tray. With the same cheerful smile, she set the glass on the table and left as quickly as she came. The glass was molded like a human skull, the dark red wine that swirled inside reminded me of blood.
I looked back at the screen, which now displayed a description of the wine. It was described as full bodied and sweet, a slight tang with fruity notes and an elegant consistency. Made from fruits from the garden of the underworld. Underneath was a disclaimer, “drinking fruit from the garden of the underworld will not trap you inside of it, hades made that up so persephone would stay.” I lifted the glass and took a sip, I was surprised at the bitter aftertaste, leaving my tongue oddly numb.
The train whistle blew, and I felt it begin to slow. It eventually rolled to a stop next to an empty station, similar to the one before. The three suits got up, and exited as soon as the doors sprang open. Three more things in suits entered, and I would have mistaken them for the ones who had just left, had I not seen them pass each other. They took the same seats, sitting silently in the same manner as their counterparts. Just as the doors sprang closed another suit slipped inside. Unlike the others I could see their face. They seemed young, maybe twenty three, gray eyes, with bright pink hair that poked out the sides of a black fedora perched precariously on their head.
They breathed heavily, as if they had just completed a marathon. They looked around the car, their gaze landing on the seat directly in front of me. They walked over, and threw themselves in the seat. They sat there, breathing heavily. Eventually they breathed in deeply, exhaled, and propped their feet up on the table. I moved the wineglass out of the way before it toppled in the wake of their black loafers. They looked at me, then held out their hand.
“Im Arrixoth.” They said “From sales and marketing.”
I cautiously shook their hand “I’m uh, Genevra.”
“What’s someone like you doing on the triple six Genevra?” Arrixoth asked.
I hesitated, “I’m not exactly sure.”
“Ah,” said Arrixoth, “A mistaky, happens from time to time. Train stops at the wrong station, and just happens to pick up an above grounder.”
“Above Grounder?” I asked.
“Y’know,” said Arrixoth, “Above ground, not in hell, kinda self explanatory.”
“What happens when a, uh, above grounder, gets picked up?”
“They usually either get sent back up or die horribly, but you never know.”
“Oh.”
A chime sounded over the speakers.
“Entering the first layer of Hell!” said Temptation, “Six hours until we reach the next layer, so enjoy your ride on the triple six railroad!”
“Six hours?” I said.
“We slowly circle down each layer of hell,” Said Arrixoth, “Until we reach the bottom, where all the souls are judged and sentenced.”
As we talked the sky outside had begun to shift, from a dark black, to glowing red, the twisted trees outlined with a hazy yellow. Arrixoth leaned back in their seat, setting their hat across their face.
“It’s going to be a while,” they said “You might want to rest a little.”
Reluctantly I sat back, my gaze drawn to the landscape outside. I thought I saw something moving deep in the red-black darkness, something massive with tentacles and long limbs. Despite everything that had happened in the last hour or two, I managed to fall into a fitful sleep.
I awoke suddenly when the train’s whistle blew, signaling the descent into the second layer of Hell. I sat up, stretching. Arrixoth still sat sleeping, fedora now even more askew. The landscape outside the train window had shifted to a more yellow hue, and I could see flames dancing in the distance. I checked my phone, the counter in the app now had a new six hour countdown. I remembered what Temptation had said about a drinks car, I slowly stood up and began to walk down the car- towards the back of the train.
As I stepped out of the car and onto the small platform. I was blasted by a wave of scorching hot air, ash and dust stung my eyes. I tried my best to shield them as I quickly stepped into the next car. It was identical to the previous car, except every seat was filled with ghostly passengers. I quickly passed from car to car, until five cars down I entered into the drinks car.
A long polished black wooden bar ran down the length of the car. Several more suits sat at the bar, a variety of drinks and spirits in glasses and bottles. A large bartender stood behind the bar, polishing several glasses with a rag. The instant I sat on one of the rickety stools, he turned- regarding me suspiciously.
I ordered a drink off of a small rainbow light board, like one of the ones from a cheap restaurant. The bartender reached up to the shelves of bottles, grabbing one filled with a dark blue liquid. The bottle was twisted, like it was solidified taffy. The bartender expertly measured some of the liquid into a strangely shaped glass, an inverted pyramid held up by root like tendrils. The bartender measured a second liquid in, this one clear. It sank to the bottom, bubbling slightly- sending ripples through the top liquid. The bartender set the drink in front of me, a paper napkin slipping underneath the glass.
I reached for the glass, but the bartender grabbed my hand.
“How you going to pay for dat?” he said in a thick Dublin accent.
I slowly took a twenty from my jacket pocket and handed it to him, the bartender took it with a grunt. He released my hand and I shook it before carefully picking up the drink. I sipped from the corner of the glass, the blue liquid was silky smooth. The bottom liquid seemed thick in comparison, flowing like honey through the top liquid. Try as I might, I couldn’t quite pin down the flavor of either one.
There was movement to my right as Arrixoth sat in the stool beside me.
“The usual.” They said to the bartender, then turned to me. “You should try the cheesy fries.”
“I thought we weren’t allowed to have food.” I said.
Arrixoth laughed, “Yea, it’s more like airplane mode. They still kinda enforce it, but it’s not necessary. Cerberus hasn’t eaten anyone in at least two weeks. Besides, as long as we’re in here, no smell gets out.”
The bartender set a drink in front of Arrixoth. It looked like a regular martini, except for a film of dark red on top that was slowly seeping into the drink. They carefully sipped from the glass, maintaining the proportions of the red film to the rest of the drink.
“Y’know Hell has a surprisingly big market for alcohol. Most of the topsides major brands are either run or sourced straight from layer three.” Said Arrixoth, examining their drink. They spent the next ten minutes explaining the imports and exports of various alcoholic beverages, as well as the deep and surprisingly bloody history of the oldest grape fields.
Arrixoth was in the middle of explaining the logistics of exporting alcohol out of Hell, when they were interrupted by a loud deep horn. It shook the car, vibrating so hard that bottles and glasses fell from behind the bar.
“What was that?” I asked, removing my hands from my ears. But before Arrixoth could answer, there was the sound of shattering glass and the bartender stumbled. We both looked up at him, where an arrow had sprouted from his chest. Slowly, he toppled, crashing to the floor- sending glasses flying. I stared, wide-eyed. Arrixoth looked more annoyed than worried. “Damn.” They said, “I liked him. Knew how to make a good drink too.”
Arrixoth grabbed my hand, and began to pull me back towards our car.
“C’mon, we should get back before she gets here.”
“Who?” I asked, dodging out of the way of a running conductor.
“Greed.” answered Arrixoth.
As we made our way back to our car two people on horses rode up beside the train, and leaped onto the narrow platform in front of us. They looked like they had just walked off the set of Pirates of the Caribbean, and both held a curved sword. Arrixoth ducked under the blade of the first, and I narrowly avoided the tip of the others.
We passed a trio of conductors, each wielding a variation of the same sword. By the time we got back to our own car, a battle was raging across the entire train. Several conductors were locked in battle with a group of the pirates, standing on tables and leaping off seats. Arrixoth weaving in and out of the fray like it was nothing, pulling me along through it all. The Pirates seemed disinterested in us, only attacking the conductors and only taking warning swings at us as we ran by. We reached our seats and Arrixoth shoved me into my seat, before returning to their own.
“What’s going on?” I asked, shouting to be heard over the sounds of battle.
“Greed’s hijacking the train.” Arrixoth calmly replied, pulling out a deck of cards from their suit pocket. “Go fish?”
“Why is Greed hijacking the train?” I asked, still shouting.
“This train carries the most valuable cargo.” replied Arrixoth, dealing cards on the table. “Souls are highly valuable, the most powerful energy source known.” They picked up the dealt cards. “Red six?”
“Umm,” I picked up my cards “Go fish?”
Arrixoth drew a card from the deck, “Greed being Greed sometimes tries to raid the train, stealing as many souls as she can.”
“Red queen?” I say, “Does this happen often?” A wickedly sharp scimitar whistled past my ear, slicing clean through the right side seat Arrixoth sat in.
Arrixoth handed me their card and said “Not often, especially since Temptation took charge of the train. Black two?”
I handed Arrixoth the card, “You say ‘The train’ isn’t there more?”
“Nope, this is the only train. It collects once a week.”
“How does everyone fit on the train?”
“It’s infinite, or supposedly. Right now it has maybe twenty thousand cars, give or take a few hundred. I think the most its had was sixty thousand, but that was back in world war two.”
Just then there was the sound of rapidly clashing blades, and we both looked up to see Temptation fighting another woman entering the car. Temptation was dual wielding two long and sharp knives, slashing at the other woman so fast her arms were just a blur. The other wore a dark green dress, the dark fabric seemned to shimmer in the car’s yellow lighting. A black bodice was cinched tightly around her chest, and a large pirate captain’s hat with a black feather sat on her head. Greed carried a sharp silver rapier, expertly parrying each of Temptation’s attacks. Both women spat curses at each other, as Greed slowly forced Temptation back.
Greed feinted left, twisting her rapier at the last moment. It left Temptation off balance and Greed kicked her legs out from underneath her. Temptation fell, smashing through our table and sending cards flying.
“Oh dear.” said Arrixoth, not looking the least bit concerned. The empty wine glass that I had left on the table was now in millions of pieces, leaving shards no bigger than a grain of sand- and decorating the floor like snow. Temptation tried to get up, but Green put a boot to her chest- forcing her back down. As the last conductor fell, a cheer went through the surviving pirates.
A few of the pirates pulled out ornately decorated glass amphoras with large obsidian stoppers. They removed the stoppers and the souls began to melt like butter thrown into a hot pan, streaming into the containers and filling them with a white glowing energy. Once all the souls were sucked in the pirates replaced the stoppers, trapping the swirling energy. Greed turned and looked right at me, and for a second I thought she would turn her rapier on me. Instead she stabbed it down into Temptations chest, causing her to gasp and then cough- splattering blood all over Greed’s black leather boots.
The pirates cheered again as Greed pulled the rapier from Temptations chest, turning to face her comrades and raising her rapier high. Temptation still held one of her knives, and in a moment of pure stupidity I grabbed it and plunged the knife into Greed’s back. She stared down at the blade now protruding from her stomach, then she slowly fell- sliding off the blade and collapsing to the floor.
The pirates froze, expressions of shock on their faces. Their shock quickly turned to anger, and I realized what I had just done. The pirates drew their swords once more, and began to advance towards me. I held up the knife like some kind of shield- hoping that they would at least back off at the sight of the weapon that had killed their boss.
I didn’t have the chance to test that theory; just as the pirates were about to reach me, the doors of the car burst open and a stream of conductors poured in. They quickly overpowered the few pirates left, cutting them down like paper. They carefully took the amphorae, removing the stoppers and letting the souls fly back to their seats. The souls resumed talking, like they hadn’t just been kidnaped by a bunch of hellish pirates.
At my feet Temptation coughed, and sat up- brushing glass shards and splinters from her dress. The wound in her chest was oozing a dark purple liquid, which stuck to her hand like syrup when she carefully prodded it. I watched as the ooze crystallized into a hard substance, which Temptation peeled off- leaving no trace of the injury. As Temptation stood up, the table began to reassemble itself. Temptation kicked Greed, causing that part of her to disintegrate and sent a plume of ash into the air. The kick started a chain reaction, and I watched as Greed’s body slowly crumbled to nothing- only leaving a dark coating of dust on the expensive carpet.
“She’ll be back.” said Temptation, picking up her knife from the floor. “It might take a few years, but she’ll reform eventually.”
“What did I do?” I asked, and I noticed my hand was shaking.
“You killed her.” said Temptation with a wink, she reached into a hidden pocket and pulled out a golden coupon. She handed it to me, in fancy cursive lettering “One free drink” was printed below the triple six logo. Temptation winked again, and without another word she turned and left.
“Well,” said Arrixoth, “That was exciting.” Shortly after a crew of conductors had come by with dusters. They cleaned up the car, leaving no evidence of what had transpired.
“I- I killed her.” I said, still in shock.
“Mmm-hmm.” said Arrixoth, “I don’t think anyone’s killed Greed in the past hundred years.” They leaned forward, as if they had a secret to tell. “You should talk to the big man himself,” They whispered, cupping a hand over their mouth, “Greed’s been a real pain in his forked tail for a while, you might get a nice bonus.” I nodded, still staring at my shaking hand.
The rest of the trip went rather smoothly. We passed through fields of grapes on layer three, watched fiery waterfalls on four, and passed a burning city of five. Arrixoth spent most of the time talking about marketing strategies and profit margins. As we circled the final layer, a massive castle came into view. Massive stone towers held up by statues of various mythological creatures, and a massive wall encircled the entire castle for miles.
As we passed through a tunnel in the wall and came out the other side, I saw that there was a massive city laid out around the castle. It looked like it had survived a world war, skyscrapers with their steel skeletons exposed, and stone buildings half collapsed. The castle that stood in the center of the city only seemed to grow larger as we neared, rising higher than the tallest skyscrapers in the ruined city.
The train came to a stop just outside the castle walls, a station similar to the old brick station rolled into view. As the train came to its final stop, the ghostly passengers began to file out of the train, lining up silently behind a row of turnstiles at the end of the station platform. Arrixoth stretched and grabbed their hat and briefcase from underneath the table. They looked back at me as they stood.
“You coming?” they said, before walking towards the door.
We walked along the perimeter of the station, passing rows and rows of spirits. One by one the spirits filed through a set of turnstiles. As soon as they passed through they morphed into a ball of softly glowing light, flying off into the distance to presumably be punished for eternity. Conductors ran up and down the station, unloading wooden crates from the cars. I looked down the length of the train, and it and the station seemed to stretch off into the distance forever- not even stopping at the walls of the massive city.
We crossed over a small bridge, passing over the train and to the platform on the other side. Near the engine I saw Temptation talking with a man in a sharp suit, and as we got closer I noticed that he also had horns and a forked red tail. Temptation was looking annoyed, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed.
“Ah,” said the man, “So this is the one who killed Greed?” His voice was deep and resonating, like a chorus of bullfrogs through a tunnel.
“Your…you,” I stammered.
“Yes, I’m the devil himself. I’m not Hades though, he’s around here somewhere.”
“Umm…” was all I could manage.
“I suppose I should thank you for dealing with Greed. Her attacks have become more violent and bold lately, your little stunt will probably make her think twice next time.” He pulled a paper from a pocket of his finely tailored suit, “In fact, I’d like to offer you a job. Don’t worry I’m not going to ask for your soul, this is the standard contract- you can quit at any time.”
I carefully took the paper, skimming over the densely packed legal text. At the bottom was a single signature line. I read through the document thoroughly. The pay- and yes there was pay - was more than triple my current job. I took a pen from my backpack and clicked it open, and signed my job contract with the devil.