Attempt 1: Today I’ll make something entertaining, maybe try to talk to someone, make a friend.
I wake up. I brush my teeth, take a shower, leave. I get dressed, I go to school, I don’t talk to anyone. They say “Hi!” to me, I wave. I try to speak, I can’t, I don’t. I freeze. I leave the school, I go home, I eat. I take a shower, change my clothes. I go to sleep.
Attempt 2: I can barely keep my eyes open. Not because the classes are boring, no. Not because of sleep disorder, no. I’m tired.
I wake up. I brush my teeth, take a shower, leave. Get dressed, stay awake, go to school. “Do not talk to anyone.” They say “Hi!” to me, I wave. I try to speak, I won’t, I don’t. I don’t react. I leave the school, go home, I eat. Take a shower and go to sleep.
Attempt 3: Sometimes it feels that living makes me tired. Sometimes it feels like I’m living the same day over and over, hoping that something will be different, that I’ll make something different, but nothing happens. I’m so tired.
Wake up. Brush your teeth, take a shower and leave. Get dressed, don’t rest, rush to school before you’re late. I don’t talk to anyone, please talk to me…. Ignore everyone. No one says “Hi!” to me. I don’t react. Leave the school, go home, eat, go to sleep.
Attempt 4: For some reason, my brain tells me to shut up every single time I try to interact. It always works. I can’t stay awake anymore.
YOU’RE LATE FOR SCHOOL. YOU DIDN’T GO TO SCHOOL.
“I’m so tired…” “School is important but I can’t take it anymore.”
Attempt 5: I don’t understand. My family doesn’t mistreat me, I have a couple of people I can consider friends, I have a stable life, my grades are average but some are very good. What’s wrong with me?
Wake up. Brush your teeth, take a shower and leave. Get dressed, don’t rest, rush to school before you’re late. I don’t talk to anyone. Ignore everyone. No one says “Hi!” to me. I don’t care. Leave the school, go home, eat, go to sleep.
Attempt 6: …
Wake up. Brush your teeth, take a shower and leave. Get dressed, don’t rest, rush to school before you’re late. I don’t talk to anyone. Ignore everyone. No one says “Hi!” to me. I don’t care. Leave the school, go home, eat, go to sleep.
Attempt 7: …
Wake up. Brush your teeth, take a shower and leave. Get dressed, don’t rest, rush to school before you’re late. I don’t talk to anyone. Ignore everyone. No one says “Hi!” to me. I don’t care. Leave the school, go home, eat, go to sleep.
Attempt 8: …
Wake up. Brush your teeth, take a shower and leave. Get dressed, don’t rest, rush to school before you’re late. I don’t talk to anyone. Ignore everyone. No one says “Hi!” to me. I don’t care. Leave the school, go home, eat, go to sleep.
Attempt 9: …
Wake up. Brush your teeth, take a shower and leave. Get dressed, don’t rest, rush to school before you’re late. I don’t talk to anyone. Ignore everyone. No one says “Hi!” to me. I don’t care. Leave the school, go home, eat, go to sleep.
Attempt 10: What am I? A bot?
What am I? A burden? What am I? A failure? What am I? A weirdo? What am I? A regular yougling? What am I? A waste? What am I? A NPC? What am I? A fill-in? What am I? What am I supposed to do?
Will I have a future? What’s my purpose? Why are my days always the same thing? Why do I feel like this? When did I get like this? Why did I get like this? How did I get like this?
I am so tired.
It’s not sleepiness. I don’t feel motivated to keep moving. My day tomorrow is going to be the same. My behavior will not change.
“At this point, I’m suddenly feeling a big urge to rest.”
“My existence is indifferent.”
“I’m so tired.”
“I don’t want to wake up anymore.”