My wife has become obsessed with hiding seek, unnaturally obsessed. I’ve tried to curb her obsession, but nothing works.
It all started two weeks ago, on our camping trip. It was the first camping trip we’ve ever taken, it’s something my dad used to do. Now that he’s gone I wanted to continue doing things he used to, so I can always feel close to him. My wife wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea, but she wasn’t completely against it either.
We arrived at our camp site at 7:00pm, we made s’mores, ate dinner, took pictures and talked. At 10:00 we were both wide awake, and extremely bored.
I was so bored I was drawling in the dirt with a stick, there was no internet connection that far into the woods so I couldn’t play my phone like I usually do when I’m bored.
10:27pm, “Wanna play hide and seek?” I knew it was a long shot asking my wife to play hide and seek, considering her personality.
She laughed, “You mean the thing little kids play?” Her eyebrows raised, one higher than the other. That wasn’t surprising, my wife was a serious lady. She didn’t indulge in childish behavior and she despised people who did. She would always talk about them, saying things like she didn’t know how they could look in the mirror.She didn’t even watch the inappropriate cartoons made for adults, claiming they were still cartoons and cartoons are for kids.
If she met someone the littlest bit childish she would immediately dislike them; I can admit, I’m a bit of an exception.
“I guess your not as bored as me then, Nancy.” I hoped she would crack and take enough pity on me to play even just one round.
“Fine, but only one round.” Silently high-fiving myself for my small victory, I asked whether she wanted to hide or seek. She hid.
One round turned into two, and two turned into three. It wasn’t until the fourth round that something went wrong.
Every time I was the seeker I had won, but this time was different. I was the seeker, and I had been looking for my wife for a couple of minutes now, and I seriously couldn’t find her.
We had a rule that we couldn’t go to far away from camp, so I was only looking in and around it. She wasn’t a rule breaker.
I decided to give this round to her, I hollered for her to come out and that she won this round but she didn’t; I was confused, was it possible she had broken the rule and went so far out she couldn’t hear me calling her?
As it turns out I was right, after walking for about 8 minutes I found her just standing and staring at a mud hole.I tried to get her attention by saying her name, but after a couple of times I realized it was no use. She wasn’t reacting to me talking to her, which was weird, she wasn’t the type to space out. She was always extra aware of things, if I’m being honest.
It took 3 minutes of shaking her before I finally got her attention, of course I asked her questions; she didn’t dignify any of them with a real response.
We were supposed to be camping for at least 3 nights but I decided to end it early, there was a couple of reasons why. One being I keep hearing strange noises in the middle of the night, but mostly because someone had clearly happened with my wife. She was acting completely different.
The next day after we got home she skipped work, she didn’t even call in, she simply just didn’t go. It was baffling, she sold houses for a living and took her job very serious. The only time she ever called out of work was when she was to sick to go. I offered to take her to the doctor, but she told me she wasn’t sick that she only wanted a break.
I was shocked, she viewed “breaks” and missing work for no reason as childish and immature. She hated childish and immature.
That night she woke me up around midnight asking to play hide and seek, to say I was shocked was an understatement. I thought she was joking, but she wasn’t. I played along because I thought it was funny. Soon though, she started waking me up every night. It went from funny to straight up annoying. She wouldn’t stop either.
About two weeks after we got home, I got tired of it. I asked her to stop, but she didn’t. And telling her no doesn’t work either, she just begs until I give in. She makes me play around 7 to 9 rounds, every single night. She never lets me hide either, I’m always the seeker.
The other day, we played 7 rounds, I found her every time except the last.
The last round, I looked for 30 minutes. I gave up, she needed up being in our small wine cabinet. The way her were bent was unsettling, and the way I could hear her bones pop as she got out was disgusting.
“Babe wake up, let’s play,” I woke up to Nancy shaking me awake, it’s been over 2 weeks of her doing this. I’m so sick of it.
“Nancy, I’m not doing this tonight. Go to sleep.” I didn’t sugar coat it this time, I was straight forward. She wasn’t taking no for a answer though, “please, you would if you loved me! Don’t you love me?” She pulled the ‘if you loved me’ card. She knew I hated when she did that, it honestly made me snap.
I felt the anger bubbling up.“I’m not fucking playing with you, you need to fucking stop now!” I didn’t scream it, but I almost did. The shock was evident on her face, but what was even more evident was the anger.
Red hot boiling anger. The look on her face almost made me take a step back, I was scared. I was scared of my own wife over a game of hide and seek.
I sleep on the couch that night.
The next morning Nancy wasn’t in her room, I thought that maybe she went to a friends over our argument the previous night. But no. Her Snapchat location said otherwise.
Her Snapchat location said she as still here somewhere, but I just couldn’t find her. I looked and looked and looked.Is she playing with me, as if last night didn’t happen? I seriously hope not. I texted and called her but she didn’t answer.
Eventually I gave up, I honestly thought it was an elaborate prank and she somehow glitched the location to say she was here.
I went to the garage to grab a beer or 2, I need up staying there and sitting on some old foldable chair. I chugged the first beer in seconds and when I was about to open my second one I heard it,
CLANK
I couldn’t pinpoint where it came from but I know I heard it. I brushed it off as some of the random junk falling, but halfway through my second beer I heard it again.
CLANK
It sounds like it’s coming from the box in the corner, I think that box has old Christmas decorations in it. It sounds like they’re clanking against each other.
But what is making them do that? Wait. No. It couldn’t be, could it?
I got up and slowly walked towards the box, I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, it felt like I would drop any moment.
I slowly opened the box, and sure enough, there she was.
Her limbs looked broken from the way she twisted them to make them fit inside the box, she was smiling; but not the kind smile she used to have before the camping trip. This smile made me want to puke.
Her lips were curled to far up, and to many of her teeth was showing.“Jesus Christ, what the hell is wrong with you?” It barely came out as a whisper, she didn’t answer, she just untwisted and got out of the box. Her smile unwavering.
I didn’t understand why she was doing this, what did I do to her? This was physiologic torture.
Needless to say I slept on the couch again that night.
I woke up to Nancy standing over me, watching me sleep. “Jesus!” I all but screamed.“Let’s play a round of hide and seek.” Her tone was demanding, almost leaving me no room to say no. Almost. “I already told you, I’m not doing this again.” I rolled over on the couch so I didn’t have to look at her anymore.
“This will be the last time I swear, no more after this ever again.” She sounded so sincere, like she used to. I believed her. I agreed so I would never have to go through this again, “fine, just go hide.” But she stopped me.“Let’s switch it up, this time you hide I seek.”
I didn’t really care who hid or who seeked I just wanted this to be over with. I hid in the closet, a pretty easy place. But I didn’t care if she found me as long as I never had to do this again.
But as I look through the crack of the closet door, at Nancy who is holding the biggest knife we own, I now know what she meant when she said I’d never have to play again.