Do you….believe that wishes come true? It is a weird question, I know, but one that has been clouding my mind forever at this point in my life. I can’t get the image out of my head, my sisters, the knocking, the carpet…the man.
I guess I should start from the beginning… I was 12 when this all started, the age when you are still an annoying little child but are getting to become…well an annoying little teenager. At the time, I felt I was the center of the world, and that I would be president or a war hero one day, to be remembered for generations. To say I was naive would be an understatement, but I was a kid, that’s what they are supposed to do. Anyways, I’m side tracking.
I was visiting my dad in Bremerton (WA), he worked for the Navy so he was stationed at the military base there. My sisters and brothers came along too, which at the time was very annoying. We stayed in one of the apartments in the military base, somewhat close in style to brick slabs put together to fit as many people as possible in small rooms.
It was overwhelmingly crowded. I stayed by the window most of the time, looking out at all the people (most likely soldiers or something in the military) moving by, some cars going over the speed limit, and the birds flying by without a care in the world. It kept me calm, when my sisters and brothers were fighting and “rough-housing” as my parents used to call it.
The night came fast, probably because it was fall, and my exhausted dad fell asleep before any of us else did. Most of my other siblings, three of them, also slept shortly after (they were the younger ones) and it was just me and two of my sisters. One of them awake, who was actually the oldest of all of us kids, whispered to me and my other sister that we could sneak out and explore. I was always scared of trying new things, but they both liked the idea and so…well I went.
The glow from the old lights on the ceiling in the hallway were very noticeable as we left the room. The floors had this look of gray and brown and white, like someone just made the carpet as of modern art.
My older sister raced down the hallway and down the stairs, and me and my other sister tried to catch up. It took some time coming down the bleak, white stairs but we found her…next to a man. I can never forget what this man looked like….he had broad shoulders and a full fur coat on. He had a hat covering his face like a detective from one of those old movies.
His hands…oh his hands were so big, like giant gripping potatoes…if that makes sense. But his voice is the thing I remember the most, it was like hearing someone who had smoked for a century talk at a quick pace. So rough and vile, is what I remember.
My older sister and the man looked over in our direction, gesturing us to come forward. I was hesitant, but I did go, dragging my scared sister with me, not wanting her to be alone in this old building. He looked at all of us individually…well I don’t know if he looked, because I couldn’t see his expression, but his head went to each of our directions. Then, he spoke,
“Hello young ones, what are you doing out so late?” It was a normal enough question, but I felt nervous to answer to such an unfamiliar character. My older sister felt no hesitation though, for some reason, explaining how we got there. He nodded silently. “Well, since you are exploring, I will give you some advice…be careful what you do, you will never know how grave a mistake you could make until after…”
It seemed so random, to say such a thing to us, but of course now I look back and know why he said it before what he did after. He pulled out three pieces of paper, which seemed to look older than us, and gave one to each of us. “Since you seem to be such wise young ones, I will give you something to look forward to…write out a wish you have, and maybe, it will come true.” We expected him to talk more, but he just stopped after that. It felt cold during that moment, if I remember correctly, the silence echoing through the halls.
My sisters wrote their wishes on their papers, and gave them back to the man. I took my time, thinking, and then in one of the stupidest decisions of my life, I wrote down, ‘I wish to be alone’.
I couldn’t tell you why I wrote that. Maybe I was just stressed and didn’t want to deal with my sisters, I have no clue. But I did it. The man took my paper after I gave it to him, and put it in his pocket, along with my sister’s pages as well. He, in a more quiet voice, said, “Your wishes are so wise, oh so very wise…you’ll get your wishes…I’m sure of it.” Then, for the first and only time in my life, I saw a smile on his face. His teeth were weirdly clean and his chin was perfectly shaved. I felt horrified…but then felt nothing.
The sound of loud, obnoxious birds woke me up. My dad, and all my sisters and brothers were sleeping. The two siblings I was with also slept, seeming peaceful. At the moment, I was thinking that it was probably some stupid dream….but I still couldn’t get my head around it. The man…he felt so real.
It’s been years since then. So many years….I’m writing this alone…so alone….in a wood cottage. I can feel the heat from the fireplace on my skin, the only thing keeping me alive in this hell. You might be wondering what my sisters wished for, and I did for a long time too.
But I think I know what. One of them, I don’t know which, wished to be happy. The other wished for their imaginary friend to be alive. Pretty innocent, when you think about it. But like the man said, you won’t know the grave mistake you made until after. And we…all…did.
My older sister as she grew older, who was with the man first, faced their wish first. They got so much happiness, from them being excused from responsibility constantly to finding a boyfriend that turned into a happy marriage, to kids and a beautiful home.
She was happy. But, she didn’t live forever…her last moments were the fault of her happiness and blissful ignorance of her surroundings, and she died burned alive from a minor mistake during cooking. I don’t even know what she was trying to cook, or why she even wanted to. She seemed sad before that, like maybe the happiness guaranteed to her made life…boring. That is my speculation though, sitting in this cottage, the fire that burned her with the same burning passion as the one in my stone fireplace.
My other sister also grew older, and found her imaginary friend. The friend was named Leo, and he was gorgeous. My sister and Leo always hung out, whether that be going to the movies or going to a coffeehouse on a rainy day. They knew each other so well, in and out, and seemed inseparable. Seemed is a key word. Leo was gay, and that realization to my sister was heartbreaking, as she knew a romantic love between them would not be real. She couldn’t handle it, she just couldn’t….
My sister (the other sister with Leo) drove to my old house one day, I lived alone at the time, with my cute cat who always seemed to have an attitude. At the time it seemed my wish was complete for that, but little did I know that it was about to be a reality.
She knocked on my door, I remember that sound vividly. I walked over to the door, waking up from a nap and still a little groggy. When the door opened, my sister was in tears. We hugged for what felt like hours, and I comforted her and pleaded with her to tell me what happened.
After a long pause, she told me Leo had told her their relationship couldn’t work out anymore. It was horrible to hear, and we both just sat on my old couch in silence for a while. I let her spend the night. It was the least I could do for her. I barely noticed I fell asleep that night when I awoke to the door being knocked on, louder this time.
Again groggily, I went to the door. There stood Leo, holding a box of my sister’s things. He seemed so calm about it, telling me in his view why he had to do this….I can’t tell you why, but I was so angry. In my mind, the only reason this person existed was to be my sister’s friend, so he has no right to leave…no right! I punched him, and he fell to the ground, dropping the possessions he was holding.
I grappled something from the box, a broken lamp I think, and smashed it against his head. He screamed for only a little bit, but soon stopped, having nothing to scream from. It took me a second to realize what I had done. My sister was rushing down the stairs, and screaming herself.
I just ran. I ran and I ran and I ran. Street after street, corner after corner I just went. I was crying, so very hard…what was I thinking???? So fucking stupid I was, so fucking stupid…
I’ve been hiding in this cabin for a couple months after that now. The police haven’t found me yet, but I think they’re close. I’m so cold…it feels familiar to that feeling in that navy apartment hallway. That smile..from that man…he knew….oh yeah, he knew.
There is nothing to change that now. All I can do is wait. To think of it, maybe this is my wish. Nothing is around me, I’m alone. Truly alone. Forever…so alone. I hear sounds…sirens I think. I don’t know, everything doesn’t make sense anymore. I think I’m going to end it, before they get me, before I face my crime.
The fire is so…warm…so cozy. It brings my body so much…peace. I remember the birds, the cars….the people….the carpet….the stairs….the knocking…….the man. Oh the fire feels so warm….so warm.
I’m going to stop writing now…think about your wishes before you give them…..please take that advice….I’m crying now, my body knows what is happening…I think I’m screaming…..oh God….Goodbye….