Have you ever heard someone calling out your name?
Just out of the blue?
Only to turn around and see that there is no one who could have been conceivably calling for you?
It started a little over 2 months ago. I was out taking one of my morning walks. I do this every morning, starting from my apartment building onward. I don’t have a set distance like ‘5 miles’ or a ‘10K’. I just walk until I get satiated for that day. I made my way downtown, passing right by the Staples Center (or whatever they are calling it nowadays). This place is vastly different at 6 am. It is a bit funny to see all these bright lights, all this excess and pomp only to be surrounded by silence and vacancy. It is like coming comically overdressed to a party. I kept walking. At this point, I had paused my music and I lowered my headphones to my shoulders. Just needed to take a breather from my playlist. I started taking mental notes of the many stores that aren’t open yet. I decided to go into one of the stores that were open, the cashier was a beautiful girl which caught me off-guard. A part of me wanted to strike up a conversation but it was too early for all that. I just paid for my water bottle and went back to my walk. After few more blocks I decided this was far enough and decided to turn back home. I didn’t have work that day so I could take my sweet time making my way back. Then I heard it. My name.
I didn’t pay it much mind though. In retrospect, it is a bit rude if there was someone actually calling for me but I assumed if there was they would repeat their call out which didn’t happen so I just went about my day. In the beginning it was difficult to even register if I was hearing anything at all. But in the last two weeks something has changed. I keep hearing it. It has more staying power this time. The sound became a voice. And the voice was getting louder. It sounded human. Someone is saying my name. It even happened yesterday. I took my earphones off and looked around and nobody was there. Nobody is ever there. It is always in places where it is almost impossible for anyone who knows me personally to be around. And I could always hear it. It doesn’t matter if I am listening to music or an audiobook. It doesn’t matter if I am wearing noise-canceling headphones. It doesn’t matter if I am walking by a rowdy construction site. I hear it. And now I can’t help but turn around when I do. The most unsettling part is that I have a rather unique name, something seldom found in Southern California. Most people struggle to pronounce it right when I meet them. In fact I still have colleagues who still struggle to do so. But the voice says it perfectly. Like if we’ve been friends all our lives.
It would be natural to dismiss this. Your mind plays tricks on you all the time. But I can’t just tell myself that anymore. I began trying to tackle this issue by recollecting everything I could about these ‘incidents’ and came up with this list;
I only hear it when I am outside.
I only hear it when I am alone.
I only hear it once a day.
The voice only says one word: My Name.
Another thing I am trying is writing out my experience. Not only to document this in a way but seeking advice from anyone else who possibly faced something similar to my predicament. I would really appreciate it.