29th of December 2022
My life hasn’t been short of interesting. I’ve experienced things that people desire to see, they spend their lives searching just to catch glimpses. But when you live within this lifestyle, these become common and you learn they aren’t something to be in awe of, they are things to fear. People don’t understand what they’re dealing with, they’re too naive to comprehend. I’m not a dark person but it gets dire seeing the same mistake made by the same types of people. Maybe writing about things here will help some other people avoid blatant mistakes like their counterparts. But before anything I’ll give you some backstory to how I’m in the position that I’m in.
Rural life isn’t as serene as people might hope. The escape to the country was always posted as some sort of American dream, but there’s something very unknown about the country. Miles and miles of forest, more woodland than settlements. Lakes so immense you’d think you were at the coast. It doesn’t feel like our own. It feels alienating. And maybe, our instincts, the only thing that has led us here today, aren’t too far away with that feeling. Nature isn’t where we are to meant to be met with comfort. That’s why humans have done whatever we can to stray away from it. Villages wasn’t enough, towns wasn’t enough- CITIES wasn’t enough, we know we aren’t welcome in nature. We try to flush it out. Trees into apartments, fields into basketball courts, we make whatever we can to feel like the primary residents in our small world but we won’t ever achieve it. Every building casts a shadow, and earth lay beneath our tarmac, you can flush out nature but not it’s residents. That’s not our job to do but we still persist on it.
Our internal fear, left festering for generations gravitate the beings toward us, they have been here much longer than we have and we have no right to flush them out. Our belief makes them more prominent after every single human birth. I refuse to add to that prominence. I used to fear the unknown more than anyone else, but after you live around them, you see what they do to people, its harder to live in fear. I don’t want to say I’m devoid of emotion, but after years of this I think it’s understandable to become slightly more accustomed. Maybe living in constant fear has altered how I behave and now it’s my natural state. I try to fight off that possibility but I can’t shake off the fact that it’s the truth. After all of this I’ve done what I can be make sense of the mystery that lies next to our civilisation. Educating myself on whatever it is we feed into, folklore, mythology and anything else which our minds have continued to create since our evolution. There’s more to this than just predators and prey, but I’m not sure if I’ll ever understand.
Now just to clarify this doesn’t mean you’re going to come face to face with demons on an evening walk. There’s a lot to consider on how you’ll come into contact with these things, mainly based on where you live and your families history. If your oblivious to them it lowers the chance even more, they thrive off of belief, if you don’t pay any mind to them it’s harder for them poke a hole into your reality. And there may have even been times where you’ve come into contact with them and not known, they aren’t all ravenous, and some have appearances indifferent to us. There are a plethora of reasons as to why you might have never seen any of these creatures, but always remember even if you have all of these things in your favour the chances are never 0%.
When it comes to understanding the supernatural one of the first shocks, is that some these classic little gimmicks which you’d expect to hold no significance, does indeed hold value. Numbers like 3, 7 or 13, different charms or repellents and types of foreshadowing all hold weight when we deal with supernatural entities. If anything it’s essential, these are the few things which help shift the balance between us and them. Without any of this, our lives would be very different.
Secondly, these entities aren’t always as they’re portrayed in the stories. The phoenix is told to be an elegant creature, striking golden feathers through the sky. It’s said to live for 500 years and is reborn from its own ashes. A symbol of the sun holding virtues of benevolence, wisdom, sincerity, propriety and righteousness. The Phoenix is real and I have seen it myself, but I can promise it is nothing of the stories. When it passes overhead you can feel a cold gust against your neck in a room with no draft. Colours drown from all around you and it feels as if surrounding life has wilted into recession. No matter how high it flys you hear the shrieks, I’m not sure if it’s in constant pain, i feel as if it’s on the brink of decomposition but refuses to cross the line. Black tattered feathers malt off behind it like contrails from a plane, it’s scavenging for anything to keep it going no different than a vulture. The Phoenix is nothing to fear, and is nothing to bow to, a saddening creature of the underworld. Maybe once upon a time its feathers were gold and prosperous, it bestowed awe and benevolence to anyone lucky enough to see it. Id like to think it hasn’t always been how it is now, and one day I’ll see the Phoenix in its true form.
However in these last few months more things have been happening around me, faster than I can adjust to them. People go missing all the time, but never my friends, I talk to them, they’re smarter than everyone else. So why can’t I contact, ANY of them. Nothing I’ve seen works to take down a network of people, it doesn’t provide any benefit or correlation. I need to keep researching, I’m not a social person, these few people keep me grounded. They keep me as close to sane as I can be. I’ve always been certain that I can do all of this by myself but I’m losing faith as the supernatural grows vaster and deeper. I need whatever help anyone can provide to push me in the right direction. Life isn’t all about the rat race, it’s about doing what you can to stay on top of what resides beneath us.
Entries like the Phoenix aren’t anything to worry about, it’d the start of a very long list. It’s a rabbit hole that you can’t escape. Some may argue it’s destructive, but I want to feel like I’m in control of my own life. I don’t want to be under the jurisdiction of a higher entity. I won’t remain oblivious or complacent, i want to be the last stood against them even when I’m drenched in my own fear. I’m not sure what’s going on with me and my social network right now, but something tells me I’m about to add another entry to the list.