I moved to a little city in the Arizona mountains called ‘Pine’ about 8 months ago. Over half a year here and I still haven’t made any real connections; all my coworkers are druggies or just fucking weird and I don’t have the social skills to strike up conversation at the bar. I’ve been relentless on dating apps to no avail; it felt like the local population was rejecting me.
At first I tried to go out every weekend and explore my new home, maybe meet someone in the wild, but as the months went on going out to do everything fun alone became depressing. It felt impossible to ignore the crushing loneliness when there’s a literal empty spot across from you. So I just stopped going out, told myself I’d explore everything when I had someone to explore it with me. But no one ever came.
Today was different though, I woke up on my day off and felt like going out. The warmer weather meant I needed to update my wardrobe and I’d just gotten my pay check so it felt perfect. It was a Monday so I was feeling less anxious about being around a bunch of people; no one would be at the mall on a Monday.
When I arrived at the Mall I’d realize just how right I was. As soon as I entered it felt eerily empty. There were shops on either side of the hallway but they all had their grates pulled down and lights off. I could hear voice over the bend so I figured this wing just closed a little earlier than the rest of the mall.
I followed the echo of voices until I reach one of those clearings under a skylight with couches and different paths. I still couldn’t see anyone but at least now the shops had their lights on. I walked into the one closest to me, some store called ‘Purple Owl’. It was a small open room with black walls and purple neon lights on the window and lining each row of what looked like large meat hooks. On the wall was all sorts of odd hook like contraptions that I’d never seen before.
Behind the counter was the first person I’d seen since entering. However as I walked closer to him I noticed something wasn’t quite right; his eyes looked glazed over and dull and his hair and clothes looked like he hadn’t had a bath in years. He wasn’t focusing his eyes on me or anything, he was just staring off into space. He had hooks pushed through his ears, but they were far too big to be earrings, ripping the skin around it with beads of black blood trickling passed the crusted dried blood.
I was unnerved and felt a little queasy at his smell and the sight of blood all over his neck and head. I quickly left the Purple Owl only to be met with entirely new surroundings than when I went in. There was still that distinct sound of people chattering just around the corner but all the shops looked strange. The workers at the cheap cart stands followed me with their eyes as I passed. It almost made me wish they’d do their usual get in your space and talk away. I learned quickly not to look at the merchandise on the carts, the one time I did it looked like some kind of organs; some in jars some just laying flat on the shelf dripping that same black blood.
I walked into what was supposed to be a Build a Bear but inside it was just loose stuffing and Build a Bear skins thrown about on the floor. None of the usual neat stations and rows of colorful options. The closer I looked at the ripped up and separate Build a Bear bits I realized that they seemed to be moving. One orange paw was desperately trying to inch towards the other orange paw, a red cow torso trying to cram stuffing into its severed tummy.
I thought I was in a dream, I mean obviously this couldn’t be real. I’d just leave the mall and wake up. Except the exit escaped me. Every exit sign I followed would either lead me to a dead end or strange service hallways that lead to no where. I was starting to notice more people too. Across the food court or down the hall, people with dead eyes who always looked vaguely familiar.
While wandering down a mostly empty and dimply lit hallway I looked down over the baloney at one of the people. It was a girl around my age with dark curly hair and a dark green cardigan. She was standing at the bottom of the down escalator like she was trying to get on but not taking any steps. I couldn’t see her face from this angle but something about her hair and outfit looked all too recognizable. Hesitantly I walked to the top of the escalator, I just had to know if it was her.
I looked down at her and sure enough, below me, staring off into nothing emotionless, was my ex fiancé, Tiffany. Except of course it wasn’t, it was impossible for her to be here, she was six states away with her new boyfriend. I softly called out her name, “….Tif?”
To my horror, at the sound of my voice the Tiffany look alike jerked her head up to stare directly at me. Then I noticed the escalator changed course, it was now going up, towards me and Tiffany was stepping on.
My heart dropped and I sprinted in the opposite direction. I haven’t seen her since that encounter but I can constantly hear her, getting closer, calling out “Kayla come on, come to me. I’m sorry baby we can try again.” Sometimes she sobs about how much she loves me and how she’ll kill herself if she can’t have me. Other times she screams about how she can’t wait to tear me apart.
I never know what direction her voice is coming from, most of the time all I can do is hide behind one of the clothing racks and try to be silent as she details how she’s going to dissect me. She always stops after a few hours and only calls out to me once a day.
The workers haven’t turned violent yet, but they keep getting closer, never taking their eyes off me. I’ve survived on the food courts exotic food but there’s rules to follow to have a peaceful meal:
All of those rules can be applied at all times really. I’ve learned it’s best to just avoid eye contact with anyone. If you’re inside one of the stores and look at the worker they will think you need help and come to you. Everytime they get close to you they’ll turn violent and you have to pray to God you can run fast enough and hide well enough.
I’m writing this because it’s not just Tiffany’s voice that calls out to me anymore, every day it sounds like a new voice joins the chorus of my own personal siren call. I can hear my parents and childhood friends. I’m guessing from my menstrual cycle that I’ve been here for at least 9 months. I don’t know how much longer I can keep living this way.
This is my last attempt at reaching the outside world, I hope it’s able to reach someone. Their voices are getting too close and too persistent. I just wanna be with Tiffany again, now when she calls to me it sounds like she’s in the next store over. I think I might not hide next time she calls….
If you can, tell my parents I love them and to visit the Pines Mall real soon.