Why does no one ever talk about staircases?
I don’t mean like, in the literal sense. Well, I think I don’t, at least. Like, of course people talk about staircases. My neighbour Maggie always brags about getting hers done. I don’t really like Maggie, honestly.
She has this little Pomeranian and she swears blind it’s cute but all it ever does is eat and sleep and bark and shit everywhere and Maggie just doesn’t know how to clean up after her dog like a normal-fucking-person and sometimes I just wish I could tie them up together and leave them in the middle of a dark road in the middle of nowhere, somewhere where no one could hear them scream. Then, I’ll watch while a car- no, a truck, yeah, I’ll watch while a truck comes by and flattens them into the concrete and their blood splatters outwards like when you tap a paintbrush too hard and the paint just goes everywhere, and-
Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself, going off on tangents like that. I do that sometimes. Sorry, you might just have to grin and bear it, unfortunately. I know, I know, it’s tiring, my mother hates it, not as much I hate her though, her and her stupid-.
Did it again. Sorry.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, yeah. No one ever talks about staircases. Not the real ones, at least. Not like the one I’m on now. You know what I’m talking about, right? Those long, winding ones, that seem to go on forever
You know, I’d never seen a staircase like this before. Obviously, normal staircases I’ve seen, but not like this. I might’ve thought you guys wouldn’t have seen one of them either
I even saw a Hitler look-alike earlier! Bullet-hole in the head and everything! It was real realistic, those shoddy “special effects make-up artists” have nothing on that dude. I just had to make a joke, you know, since it’s like January and all and we’re both on this random staircase in the middle of wherever and- well- it wasn’t much of anything really, I just could help myself. So, I say, “it’s not Halloween yet, dude,” like you do, and he gives me the dirtiest look, shouting at me in German before stomping off in the opposite direction to me. I mean, what a dick! I would’ve liked to see him actually be shot, see the brain matter explode from his skull and watch him drop like a bag of-
Whoops. Tangent. I guess I can respect the commitment to a role, though! Lots of these people have special effects makeup. Or at least, I hope it is, because I don’t see how you could still be alive without your major organs. I mean, one dude just looked like he’d had them carved out!
Some of them look like they’re rotting too. In fact, the further I go, the more decayed they seem. Maybe I’ve stumbled across some sort of movie set, you never know? Not sure how that could’ve happened. Actually, I’m not really sure how I got here to begin with. Could’ve sworn a minute ago I was on a plane out of America. Can’t even tell where any of these people are from, all walks of life and all that. You don’t see that many non-white people where I’m from- not that I’m racist or anything. Just an observation. Really, I’m not racist, my best friend is, sorry, was black.
Oh, I’m just digging a deeper hole for myself here, ain’t I?
Anyway, it’s starting to get colder now, and I’m tired, and everyone’s walking the wrong direction. No one is walking with me, just past me. Maybe I should walk with them, but, and I know it sounds dumb, but it feels like I have to keep going. Gotta get to the beginning to get to the end, I guess. Like in one of those video games - it’s never fun to start half way through. I mean, by that point you’ve missed all the fun, haven’t you? Especially in any decent one - all the killing happens before then. What’s the point in video games if you don’t get to kill shit? It’s not as if it’s real, I guess, but it quells the itch, and it can make for good practice too - I don’t think I’d ever have been able to pull it off if I hadn’t-
Ah, shit. Sorry, tangent. Just forget about that.
Well, my phones dying. Not sure I’ll be able to respond to any of y’all, but I’ll try my hardest if I can. Pinky swear. God, you’d think they’d at least have a charging point somewhere on a staircase this long! Feels like I’ve been walking for days! Needs better lighting too, I’m telling you, the further I get the darker it gets. More cramped, too. Less people.
I think that’s it from me. I know some of the stories on here are fake, but this one isn’t, I promise, I just need a straight answer. I don’t think I’ll get it anywhere else, especially not when none of you ever talk about the staircases or anything like them outside of little places of the internet like this. So, I’ll ask.
Why does no one ever talk about staircases?