If you lick your finger and hold it up in the air you can tell the direction of where the wind is going. If you find a four-leaf clover save it for good luck. If you hear a subtle scream in the night don’t follow it. A muffled scream would scream through the night whenever I turned on the sink as if he were begging for water. Every night the scream would sing through the walls. It almost sounded as if a witch was being cooked alive and a high-pitched scream shook my eardrums but no one needed to know. No one needs to know.
In a few select houses underneath the stairs there is a door like the one in Harry Potter. I usually store my items underneath the stairs. But no one needs to know. Every night I tried to ignore the scream underneath the stairs. I went down to stop it because someone called the cops on me. If they had found what I saw, what I did I would . d i e .
Every night I cry about my father in the little room underneath the stairs with the malnourished child who tries to comfort me. B u t n o o n e n e e d s t o k n o w . His arms caress me under the blue fluorescent light but I cry every night because no one needs to know. Hot sauce poured down his throat, and up the stairs to the bathtub because no one needed to know. He’s about to be tortured, that I know. 15 years of his life is gone and no one needs to know. The dogs start barking the birds are chirping he was left in a bath but no one needed to know. He’s about to die but he can hang on for a little longer.
This is fun.
I think of my father as I try to fight my inner demons. but the boy will take my demons by dying. He will. He will. I watch the cameras at the courthouse so that I would know what he’s up to, so at least I would know.
“You’re pathetic but I already knew that”. He was and I loved him for the pain I can transfer on him. How dare he eat a pack of raw meat out of my fridge? If they did an autopsy everyone would know.
The moon hangs over my house as if god knew what I was up to. At least 3 people knew. Me calling him pathetic would be the last words that he will ever hear from me. He deserves it for treating me like that. How dare he pretend that he needs more food? Was the hot sauce not good enough for him? So I poured more hot sauce down his throat.
I watch the older son play Minecraft. He needs to die mentally too. I didn’t go to law school for 5 years for nothing. Both of my biological sons need to die. One will die physically but the other one. The other one. Will go to prison for me.
I watch as the life is sucked out of him as the bile comes out through his mouth because of the malnourishment. it fills me with joy. I could have sent him to foster care but. Everyone would know.
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