This story contains traumatic and sensitive topics. Reader discretion is advised.
I always loved going to the farmhouse. The summers of my youth spent exploring and playing games in the surrounding acres with my cousins. David and Danny. David was the older of the two by a few years. His seniority made him the leader of our small troupe. I looked up to him even though he was a bit of an jerk. He could be mean, but had a good heart when it mattered.
The younger of the two was Danny. Danny was ‘special’, or at least that’s what they called it then. ‘Special needs’ my Aunt would tell us. Danny was developmentally stunted. It always seemed to me he was aware of what went on around him but he just couldn’t express himself like the rest of us. He walked with a limp and would only respond with simple one word answers.
“Danny do you want to play tag?”
“Ye-ah” he would say enthusiastically.
“Danny we’re going to the store, would you like to go?”
“N-no” as sternly as he could muster.
This was how he was.
It has been years now, since I thought of them. I tried to forget.
“Eat please, we need to go soon, we’re already late!” I overheard the woman at the table next to me.
“N-n-no… I don’t w-w-want it” the boy said as he lashed out from his wheelchair.
Danny… I thought stunned.
Memories returning of what happened the last summer I ever saw him twenty years ago. I went back to work without finishing my food. I stared blankly at my screen for the next hour, mulling over my thoughts, trying to focus but unable, My eyes glazed over as I stared at the screen. I got up from my desk and walked into the office.
“Something has come up. I’m done for today.” before anyone could even respond, I was out the doors.
I hadn’t been to the farmhouse in almost a decade. There were a few times after… after what had happened, but it had never been the same. My aunt and uncle still owned the property but had long since moved away. I don’t think they could bring themselves to sell it.
It was a three hour drive but when I was younger it felt much farther. It was as if it had been an whole world away.
A cloud of dust formed behind the car, the gravel crunching as I headed down the drive toward the house.
I didn’t like it here anymore… the memory had tainted it.
The house sat in a large field, bordered by the roadway in the distance. It was at least a hundred years old; a wide porch and colonial fixtures. Nearby was a small lake, down the hill that we often spent days swimming and boating in. Finally, along the driveway in front of the house was the forest.
The forest where my childhood had ended.
I looked at the pathway at the mouth of the wood and the events of that day returned like I was reliving them…
“There are cabins here somewhere! Dad told me. He said they used to fish and hunt and people would live in these woods.”
“N-n-no” Danny sputtered
“What do you mean ‘no’ Danny?!” his brother said annoyed.
“Yes they did. They would fish at the lake back at the house. Dad told me. Like two hundred years ago. What are you saying no about? Friggen idiot.” the last part he said more to himself than aloud.
‘Y-yeah” Danny said, apparently now in agreeance.
That day we were going to find those mythical cabins. In reality they were now nothing more than dilapidated piles of rubble. Only a suitable refuge for wood bugs and centipedes. The forest was situated between the road and the house so there was never really a fear that we would get lost. It was several miles across however, so we still had to be careful and tell my aunt and uncle where we were going.
The ‘cabins’ were supposedly deeper in the woods than we ever had been but my Uncle had said that it was fine if we looked for them as long as we were back before dinner.
“I think we could really turn these cabins into something” Dave said confidently.
“A clubhouse maybe. We could start a club and invite the guys from school. That’d be cool hey Danny?”
“Yea-yeah” he said excitedly
“Yea-yeah” David said copying his little brother. “Danny, I know you got whatever funny business going on in your head but can you ever for once just say anything but ‘yeah’ or ‘no’!” he sighed in the futility of what he was asking.
“Ye-ye-yeah” Danny replied, as if he understood what David had asked, but could still only reply as he always did.
“He can’t…” I said looking at him directly as I could. We had never fought but he was older and taller than me and even though he had never bullied me I still didn’t want to piss him off.
“Yeah I know, sorry. Sometimes… sometimes I just get sick of it you know” he said defeated.”Danny, why can’t you just say SOMETHING, anything for once!”
“Dave stop.” he wasn’t like this usually.
“I know you’re not dumb Danny, ‘they’ think you’re stupid Danny, but me, your brother, I know you’re not. So why can’t you just say one simple word? Just ANYTHING other than ‘yeah’ or ‘no’.” he wasn’t trying to be mean, it was just how he really felt.
‘N.. n… n… NO!’ Danny yelled.
“Aghh! Just zip it Danny, don’t even say anything then, you hear me?!”
“Just stop Dave” I said quietly
“Pshh… whatever” Dave walked off ahead of us.
“Are you alright Danny” I said, I could see he wasn’t. He was mad, fuming mad, but just like his brother had asked he said nothing.
“Mmm…” he made muffled growl.
“Danny you can talk, your brother is just being a jerk, he doesn’t mean it”
“Hmm mmm” he made a slightly louder and aggravated sound.
“Fine Danny. Fine, say nothing. I wasn’t rude to you but if you want to be pissed off, you have the right to” I put my hands up and walked away.
The ‘cabins’ were not that far from where we were, maybe ten minutes or so. The entire time Dave kept to himself ahead and Danny behind grunting in anger.
“Danny just relax…” I said carefully, but he wasn’t listening.
About five minutes later we arrived at the cabins, or what was left of them.
“Well here we are…” Dave said disappointed. “The CA-BINS” calling out sarcastically.
There was nothing around but trees and the rotten piles of wood before us. A squirrel ran across a fallen tree.
“What do you think Danny? Seem good?” Dave said as if he hadn’t just gone off on Danny.
“Mmm…” Danny said bitterly.
Are you serious right now?” Dave was annoyed.
“Mmm… mmm” Danny continued mockingly.
“Ah for shit sakes Danny grow up! Why you gotta act like this huh?” he was getting angry
“Mmm…mmm… mmm…” Danny just kept repeating the sound…
“Danny SHUT UP!” Dave said getting in his face.
“Mmm…mmm… mmm…” Danny kept going getting louder to annoy Dave
“Wow, good job Danny! You’re a bona-fide genius! Look at these cabins Danny you can live here. They suit you” it was meaner than I had ever heard him be to his brother.
“MMM!” Danny said as he tried to swing a punch at Dave who stepped out of the way easily, “Danny what the hell!” he said as he shoved his brother, a reaction in the heat of the moment.
They usually got along fine. Why was Dave being like this? Just then I thought I head something rustle in the bush behind the remains of a cabin.
“Danny! Quit acting like an absolute RE-T***” Dave yelled as his brother landed on the ground, looking up at him furious.
I felt sick. I hated to see them fighting and I had never heard Dave call Danny the ‘r-word’. Back then everyone would say it like it was nothing, but not once did ever hear Dave talk to his brother like this. Danny was breathing heavily, seemingly enraged.
“What Danny? What!?” His brother said bitterly, clearly still mad but the fact that he crossed the line was written all over his face.
“You think, it’s funny to make fun of him do you?” A low raspy voice said, snide and unwelcomely imposing. The hairs on my neck stood on end. There shouldn’t have been anyone out here. I looked up at the man, a cold scowl on his face. A tattered leather coat and ripped jeans. He must have been about forty or fifty years old, but his face was grizzled from a life of abuse. He took a swig of the flask he had in his hand and tucked it back into his coat.
“Who the hell are you? This is private property” Dave said. I wasn’t sure that the property line extended this far into the woods but it was clear why Dave said it. There was something not right about the man. He looked like a drifter and smelled strongly of alcohol.
“What the FUCK did you say to me” his words slurring slightly.
“I said, you need to get the hell out of here old man. This is private property” he stretched out his arms gesturing to the woods. Dave was sixteen and while he might have grown quite a bit in the last few years he still wasn’t fully a man.
“Fuck you it is.” the man said spitting through his yellow teeth.” as he got up in Dave’s face.
“We were just going” I said to the man, sensing the situation could be dangerous.
“No you weren’t. Shut up kid.” he said to me as if flipping a bug off of his arm.
Danny’s anger had been overcome by wonder at the situation.
“I saw you push the handi-cap down. You’re a tough guy huh” he said his accent punctuating ‘handicap’ strangely. His voice was cold and I had no sense that he actually cared at all about the ‘handicap’.
“He’s my brother. He’s fine. Piss off man.” Dave said flippantly
“Are you fine boy?” The man said looking at Danny. “That wasn’t very nice of your brother was it?” he said with a subtle feigned concern that Danny wouldn’t have picked up on.
“N-n-no…” Danny said looking away clearly still upset from earlier.
“You know my Granddaddy, was a handicap too. Had em on a cane after the war. I’d never tolerate that if someone said it to him. Do you like it when he calls you that kid?” the man already knowing the answer.
“N-n… NO!” Danny said his anger welling up on the last word.
“Yeah… I wouldn’t like it either. You gotta limp too, huh?” he must’ve been watching for a while if he had seen Danny walking.
“You know, I bet you wish you could stand up to him don’t you?!” the man said with a disingenuous smile.”That’d be neat wouldn’t it? He would never call you that again.” it was like he was leading Danny to something.
“Ye-yeah” he said grinning.
“How about this? How about… how about I do it for you? Just rough em up a little.” the man said coldly.
“Danny” I said barely able to speak. Dave was starting to look concerned, his back against a tree and the man in front of him. I could see Danny was thinking, clearly still remembering his embarrassment from earlier.
‘Ye-yea-YEAH!’ he said with a sour smile and laugh.
“What the fuck Dann-“ Dave’s words were cut short as the man violently pushed him down. Exponentially more forcefull then the slight shove from earlier. Dave groaned in pain nearly hitting his head on a rock nearby.
“HOW’S IT FEEL? HOW’S IT FEEL HUH?” The man yelled as Danny laughed not sensing the seriousness of the situation. Dave started to get up and the man kicked him hard in the side. He gasped and tried to catch his breath.
“Leave him alone!” I yelled petrified.
“SHUT UP” the man barked.
I looked at Danny who seemed to now realize that this situation was not normal. He started to become agitated.”How about I really show him hey Dan?!” The man must have picked up on his name incorrectly, ‘Dan’ as if they were buddies.
My cousin looked scared now, his brother on the ground trying to get air into his lungs”
“N-n-n-no!” Danny shouted.
“Oh come on!” The man said as he kicked Dave again.
“STOP!” I yelled, my feet stuck in place.
On the second kick Danny began to cry, the realization that something wrong was happening must have finally dawned on him. As Dave tried to catch his breath the man turned and walked. Was it over? Then I watched as the man picked up a large tree branch and raise it over his head. Danny was still recovering from the kicks.
‘NEXT TIME. THINK! THINK BEFORE YOU SAY THAT WORD. THINK BEFORE YOU HURT… SOMEONES… FEELINGS!’ He was shouting as he stumbled over beneath the weight of the branch which was more like a log. And then… then he threw it down at David.
He fell from his knees to the ground like a sack of dust.
“Yeah, not so tough now are you?” the man said as he lit his cigarette and started walking away. “Next time, think, before you use your words” he said as if there was any semblance of consciousness left in David’s lifeless body. He walked away muttering to himself, picking up his case of beers and stumbling away.
Danny was on the ground sobbing uncontrollably, I felt like the world was spinning around me. I struggled to walk to where David was standing minutes ago, I bent down and shook as I grabbed his arm tears rolling down my cheek. I held his wrist as our uncle taught us to check for a pulse, to check for life…
“Dave… Dave… come on Dave” his pulse was almost imperceptible. I gathered what courage I could. I wasn’t strong enough to carry him.
“Danny we have to go tell Mamma and Papa what happened”
“Danny come on! We have to go.” the man was still in the woods and Dave needed an ambulance bad.
Danny wouldn’t move, he just sobbed and sobbed. I tried to grab him but he wouldn’t budge. When I finally got back to the house I could barely get a word out in shock. Eventually they realized Dave was hurt and needed an ambulance. I don’t remember much after that other than even an hour later Danny was still sobbing.
They got Dave to the hospital as soon as they could but it was too late, he was gone.
As for Danny, he never said another word again. He passed away in his sleep later that year. They said it was his condition but I knew it was the that grief did it.
I lost my cousins and my childhood that summer.
The thing was even after all this time I still wondered how I could have done something differently. I still don’t know why I did what I did… why I said why I said when they had asked.
“What happened to David? What happened!?” they cried.
The police questioned me that same night.
“So you were in the woods at the cabins and Danny decided to climb a tree?”
“M-hmm” I said nodding, the drifters yellow smile in mind.
“And he fell? And then a branch fell on him?” the officer asked incredulously.
“Yes” I said still nodding.
“Okay…” the officer said. ‘Are you sure that’s what happened?’
“Yes.”
The officer sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Alright… it just that, well… it doesn’t add up” he said.
They couldn’t get even a single word from Danny.
I never told them about the man.
When the memories return I wonder what happened to him. The drifter with the yellow teeth.
Most likely, I thought, he drank himself to death. I would tell myself he succumbed to the cold, or that he was hit by a car or a train perhaps.
I wondered if he ever even knew what he had done. Did he remember at all in his drunken stupor? Did he have any idea the destruction and pain he caused that day?
I couldn’t say.