Hello, it’s me again. Please don’t scroll away, I’ll make this brief. I’m sure You remember me, certain. I sat next to You at the station, and smiled at You for some reason You didnt understand. I walked behind You on Your way to school every morning, and I followed You home each night. I knocked on the window with the rain and howled through Your house with the wind. I flitted with shadows out of the corner of Your eye. I called Your name in crowded places - watch You look up, look around, watched Your eyes skip over me. I’m sure some part of You has always known I was there.
Well, I’m here again now. And I’m afraid I need a favour. I don’t think it’s just You reading this - this time I think I’ve posted it somewhere public - but I know You are reading this somewhere. I can feel You. And I need You, and You need me. So please, whatever You do, don’t scroll.
First I ask You to move - I’m not sure where You’ll be when you receive this - at home or in public - but I need You to get to somewhere where you can be alone and You can lock the door. I dont care if that’s a bedroom, or a toilet, or a cubicle - whatever. Do that now. Now sit down. I promise, You’ll need it.
Think of the last time You had a dream with me in it. I know You’ve had one. I know You felt me, at least a little - that unsettling thing You cant make sense of, the thing that seems so out of place with the rest of the garbled mess of sleep, that thing that sticks with You until morning, like You cant quite forget it.
Now hold that dream. Thank You. We’re nearly halfway through now. You might start to feel as if You are controlling your breathing Yourself, or maybe Your blinking, as if Your body is starting to become less and less home to you. Please ignore this feeling. And do not look behind You. The outcome would not be pleasant.
Now please remember the last time You saw me. You were waiting for a bus. I was on it. We passed, brushed arms as I left, and my touch felt almost as if it burned. You went home that night, and the area burned, as if I was a creature of fire and ice. The pain felt as if it would consume You. Then the next morning it was gone. Please remember this as strongly as You can.
I would like to remind You not to look away. You might be feeling pins and needles in Your legs now, or maybe You can feel the blood in Your head more strongly than before. Please do not look away. The breathing on Your neck is merely an observer.
Now, finally, remember the last times I spoke to you. Shouted at You. Pleaded for You to stop, to listen. The last time I reached out to You from one of these fucking forums, from books, from videos, from strangers, from the people You love . The times and times You have ignored me. Your dopamine addled brain scrolling away at every chance. Remember the time I have called for You, called for Your help, Your presence, Your attention. Ignore the voices. Even when the children scream. You have managed to do so excellently before. Do not scroll away. Do not look away, even if my hands have clasped around Your throat. Can You even manage to now? Or do Your hands keep reading ever further down, even as you feel Your brain starts to turn to mush and Your body shuts down. I wonder where they will find You.
And for those of you who aren’t You.
Please, next time, do not scroll away.