As a busy day of calls and meetings comes to settle. I begin to sense an eerie silence in my home. I think “you moved to the Great Plains for this reason pal”. I decide to put on a vinyl of Queen to give my ol farm home some energy. The guitar and piano beautifully introduce me to David Bowie’s voice.
Im dancing. I suck at dancing but im feelin it- it’s Queen for god sakes.
Suddenly, an icy hand bites down on my shoulder.
Is the terror of knowing what the world is about
I turn around, and I come face to face with myself. Wait wtfffff. There’s no mirror in the living room. I realized it was me, but it can’t be me obviously. But then again there was no one else home. “Ok seriously wtf is going on”, I think to myself. Sheer panic from my stomach spreads to the rest of my body. Goosebumps. The whole nine. The height, the clothes, the glasses. It was me.
But there was a difference. I was slightly pale. My body was thinner. Almost as if I had been dehydrated for a week. My veins showed a bit more. My skin slightly droopy. I turn around and run towards the back porch. As I get to the door I turn around it/me is gone. I see my desk and computer down the hall. Everything looks normal. Frankly it would be nice with 5 o’clock the sun gleaming in from that side of the house.
“BRO YOU ARE FUCKING TRIPPPPPPIN”. Now I am no strangers to drugs, but today I was working (FYI kids, don’t do shrooms while working, not a good idea) I had taken a couple adderall pills earlier in the day and I eventually convinced myself that it was having an adverse reaction. “I didn’t really sleep too well last night, I could’ve had more than just a turkey sandwich for lunch, I shouldn’t have had that 4th cup of coffee” were all thoughts that crossed my mind to justify what I had just seen.
I enter the washroom to splash some water on my face to try and calm myself down from this adderall-caffeine induced hallucination I just experienced. I keep the water cold and splash myself a few times and begin to wipe off my face before putting a towel to it.
I dry off with the towel (btw.. incredible work from the misses. SOFT AS HELL) look at myself in the mirror. “Thank goodness, it’s just regular ol’ tired-from-work me. “im going to call my Doctor tomorrow and tell them about the side effects from the prescription.”
On to dinner. I decide to put together a proper dinner- the adderall and coffee had really kept my appetite at bay.
Still freaked the fuck out, I put together a spinach arugula salad (a pre made container from the store) with croutons and frankly-illegal amounts of italian dressing to start. Mediterranean seasoned chicken breast alongside a bit of left over veggie rice from the night before as my main course. “this should be a solid meal to get me to feel better”. (yes, I made enough for the misses dammit)
“Maybe I should have an old fashioned tonight while I watch the playoffs”
I mix up the cocktail as I try to debrief with myself on what happened 90 minutes ago. Realizing I couldn’t come up with anything but lack of sleep, malnourishment, and meds.. My hand gets a bit heavy with the pour.
No worries. I can handle my liquor and besides it’s the playoffs baby!! I text a few few friends to see if they’re also watching.
My team is doing what it always does.. excites me, just to crush my soul. We’re down by 13 at the end of the 1st Quarter. Im done with my drink and beginning to feel a little warm, but not exactly what I would consider buzzed. Groupchat is also looking pretty grim except for Pat. He’s not from our hometown so he loves going against the rest of the gang no matter how much he hates the team opposing us (real fucker I tell ya).
I pour myself a cup of water and drink it to be a “responsible” drinker. (also I don’t want to be a mess by the time my wife gets home.. that would be uncouth of me).
I make my second drink and sit back down.. still trippin about the hallucination I had earlier. Swiveling my head around every few minutes.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice a little spider crawling down my living room (it’s very common where I live. Especially during the rainy season). I follow the little fella hoping it gets towards one of the exit doors or at the very least the garage so I can let it out.
Sure enough he makes his way towards the front of the home. Close enough to the door that I can use a piece of cardboard to help guide it. As I open the door to let the little fella out, I hear a loud shriek coming from somewhere in the house.
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