Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. The colours of the rainbow. There’s songs, poems, shows, and so many other things that were created to teach these colours.
I chose the worst possible way. It was late on a Monday night, and I had forgotten to make lesson plans for that week. I usually don’t forget, I care about my students a lot.
I just finished teaching them the alphabet. It was a hard unit, but definitely necessary. As a kindergarten teacher, most people rely on my ability to teach kids the foundation for their future education. It’s quite stressful, but very rewarding.
Colours was a unit my kids were excited for, so I was saving some fun activities for this week. I remember checking my alarm clock and realizing it was much too late for me to be able to write a coherent lesson.
And that’s where YouTube comes in. YouTube has always been a godsend, something I never realized was as heavenly as it was until I got my teaching license.
I didn’t have to teach if my kids had videos that taught them. So I started looking for videos on ROYGBIV, and I found the perfect video.
At least it was perfect to my sleep muddled mind. I watched it, the melody of the video’s soundtrack was catchy. Easy to remember.
It was what was needed for class. I saved it, feeling a sense of pride wash over me. It hadn’t taken me too long to search. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to videos.
It was a cartoon character, singing about the colours and giving photo examples. Sure, its smile was a bit too wide and its limbs a bit too long, but I knew the kids would love it. Adults? Not so much. But in the brain of twenty 5 to 6 year olds? It was the greatest thing.
With the pride of a job well done (well, at least one someone else did and I found), I closed my computer and drifted into sleep.
I remember waking up exhausted. My friends (who had much bigger paychecks than me) would have told me it’s because I “didn’t reach R.E.M.”
I didn’t spare a second thought about it, I just headed to work. No need to worry about things that already happened.
With a coffee in my hands and a bagel in my stomach, I soon felt much better. Funny how that works. I gathered materials and set them up on each students’ desk.
They were all particularly chatty today, telling me about the weekends’ events while walking in. Izzy got to pet puppies, Zander got his pants eaten by a goat, Lilly watched Finding Nemo for the 120th time.
Alex told me about a tycoon on Roblox that he played with his older cousin, Tatiana ate mac and cheese for breakfast, so on and so forth. I heard a lot of stories.
We had our opening lesson after the morning’s announcements. I found out that the majority preferred chocolate ice cream over vanilla as a sweet treat after our bell ringer.
It’s always good to give students a way to healthily debate and learn how to respect others’ opinions. Using questions like that was a great way to open their minds and an even better way to get their attention.
I gave them a very short lesson on colours before pulling up the video. Their eyes were glued to the screen by the moment I shared the video on our smart board.
You see, if I pull up a video on my computer, I can screen share it to the smart board so I can control the screen but the kids can easily see.
I was very pleased when they giggled at the sight of the cartoon, laughing at the jokes and puns. I glanced down at my computer and saw the character staring blankly at the screen.
That was a shock. The music was still playing and it was perfectly fine on the smart board, but it wasn’t on my screen. I tilted it so the kids couldn’t see mine, not wanting to scare them.
It was almost still, besides its chest moving as it “breathed”, a lot more lifelike than I was comfortable with. Was the smile that wide last night? Its eyes were hollow and crinkled up from the stretch of the grin.
It was humanoid but in the worst way possible, it was… wrong. Only slightly off. Not enough for it to be a huge deal, but enough to be noticed.
The kids clapped as the song ended and I startled. I forgot it was still going on. I shut my computer quickly, the smart board clicking off and fading to black as I took away its content.
The rest of the day was normal. Nothing wrong. Yet that thing’s face didn’t leave my mind and my heartbeat didn’t slow. Not for a second. During the kids’ lunch break, I pulled it up again.
After scrolling through other experiences shared on this community page, I realize how bad of a decision that was. But I did it. I wish I didn’t.
And the video was normal. The colours seemed a bit brighter and more intense, but its arms were normal and its smile wasn’t stretched out grotesquely.
It took way too long for me to realize that it wasn’t just the video that was put in a wash of high resolution colour. Everything else was too.
My head started to pound from the bright colours being reflected. It was too much. I never realized how muted our world was until I saw it clearly.
I wish I could take back my decision. It kept getting brighter and the colour seemed to be pressed directly into my eyes. Like needles with coloured ink being tattooed into skin.
Dizziness took over as my head pounded with the beat of my heart, a tempo that was speeding up. I called into the office and said I didn’t feel well. I needed to go home. The office was worriedly fussing over me, but I didn’t have the capacity to reassure the sweet woman who worked there.
They called in a sub and I left. Just stepping outside hurt. The colours were even brighter, digging into my skull and tearing into my retinas.
I will admit, I let out a string of words that are unbecoming of an educator but it just hurt so badly. I hated my past self for buying a red car at that moment.
The engine’s rumbling was music to my ears, something familiar. I sped home, ignoring almost all speed limits and road signals. It was so hard to drive with the tears streaming down my face. It hurt too much. I’ve never been honked at more than that day.
My house has been in the dark for a few days now. It helps. But it hasn’t gone down. I tried to turn the lights on yesterday. I bit down on my tongue so harshly to hide a scream that I assume would be blood curdling that I bit off the tip. I can still taste it.
Blood that should have been dark red, almost black was awful. Dark colours should have helped. But instead, something made the colours brighter.
The pink of my flesh was almost white. The prickle of needles I described earlier in this post had changed. It was like being branded now. Branded with pink.
It’s gotten to the point that I don’t just see them; I feel them. Sounds have colours. Feelings have colours. Everything does.
The keys of the computer I’m typing on is blue. The sound is green. The cold metal of the gun at my side is yellow. The bullets feel like purple.
I predict that the sound of my brains splattering against the ceiling will be orange. I think the sound of my heart giving in will be violet.
A fitting end. ROYGBIV ends in violet. And so will I.
I’m telling you this so you can be careful. And please, if there’s anyone who knows this video; try to take it down. It does more harm than good.
I don’t need advice; it’s the end for me. I just want to know that I did something to prevent others from having the same end I will experience.
I hope that creature gets destroyed by the very colours it teaches. Please be safe. And watch for colours. The white of my screen is too much already.