All I ever wanted was to make a difference. Please, you have to believe me on that if nothing else.
You probably know my name, or have at least heard of it. The trainwreck my life has become has been a matter of national interest after all.
It all started out as a dream. A dream of making a difference in my community and serving the people who had put their trust in me. But as the days went by, it quickly turned into a nightmare.
I was a young politician, fresh out of college, and eager to make a name for myself. I had never run a campaign before, but I was surrounded by a team of experienced professionals who assured me they knew what they were doing. I trusted them implicitly and threw myself into the campaign with all the energy and enthusiasm I could muster.
But things quickly started to unravel. We were behind in the polls, and our fundraising efforts were falling short. I could see the stress and pressure weighing heavily on my campaign manager, and I did my best to support him and keep everyone motivated.
But then the unthinkable happened. My campaign manager took his own life, leaving me and my team reeling. I was devastated and felt like I had failed him and everyone who had put their faith in me.
That’s when Lillian Morgenstern showed up. She seemed to come out of nowhere, but she was a force to be reckoned with. She took charge of the campaign and quickly proved herself to be ruthlessly efficient and tireless. She had a sharp mind and an even sharper tongue, but she got results.
I was hesitant to trust her at first, but I couldn’t argue with her track record. Under her leadership, we started to gain ground in the polls, and I started to believe that we might actually have a chance.
Lillian was quiet and taciturn, but when she spoke, everyone listened. She had a commanding presence and a fierce determination that I couldn’t help but admire. She seemed to know everything about everyone, and she used that knowledge to her advantage.
I couldn’t help but be drawn to her, even though I knew it was a bad idea. She was my campaign manager, after all, and I couldn’t afford any distractions. But the more time I spent with her, the more I found myself falling under her spell. I have, for religious reasons, always been against premarital liaisons, yet I found myself having an affair with her. It was, as everything she did, largely emotionless and efficient. I am not sure what she ever got out of.
She didn’t talk about her personal life much, but I didn’t mind. I was too focused on the campaign and trying to win the election. And Lillian was more than happy to take care of everything else.
She ran my schedule, handled my appointments, and even picked out my clothes. She was like a puppet master, pulling all the strings behind the scenes.
The one thing she didn’t touch was my policies. She left me to support the causes I believed in, and I appreciated that. I didn’t want to be a puppet, after all.
But as the campaign wore on, things started to get even more complicated. Lillian suggested that I run for higher office, and I was hesitant at first. But she was so convincing, and I trusted her so completely, that I eventually agreed.
She also insisted that I get married, saying it would increase my chances of winning. I was uncomfortable with the idea, but she had already selected a number of women she thought would be suitable candidates.
I was creeped out by the whole thing, but I went along with it anyway. And to my surprise, I fell in love with the woman Lillian had recommended. Natalie Smith was a lovely blonde primary school teacher and volunteer worker, and I couldn’t believe my luck. Despite our strange matchmaker, we found ourselves falling for each other. I ended my affair with Lillian before that of course.
My campaign went well, and I became one of two frontrunners. But then one day, Lillian disappeared.
I tried to call her, but I couldn’t get through. All of her things were gone from the office, and there was no sign of her anywhere. I was worried sick, and the police started looking into the matter.
That’s when things started to get really weird. The police found photographs of me and Lillian, clearly taken from before I met Natalie but timestamped to the recent few weeks. When searching my computer they found several e- mails from Lillian adressed to me, threatening to reveal our alleged affair to Natalie unless I left my wife. They made it seem like we had started an affair after Natalie and I were already married. There were even e- mails, ostensibly from me, containing threats.
But here’s the thing - the emails were sent to and from an account that was under my name, but Lillian habitually ran. She must have planted them there to make it look like I had a motive to kill her.
And then there’s the payment to a Swiss bank account, suspected to be associated with a professional hitman. That was from my bank account, which Lillian had full access to. She must have set it up to frame me.
All of this tanked my campaign, and I lost by a landslide to my opponent. Natalie, the woman Lillian had recommended I marry, left me, thinking I had cheated on her and possibly even murdered Lillian. The police could never get any real evidence against me, but I have already been sentenced in the court of public opinion. I`d be lucky to get a job managing a hot dog stand at this point, much less political office.
But I refuse to go down for a crime I didn’t commit. I’ve been investigating Lillian’s past, trying to find out who she really was. And the more I dig, the more confused I become.
I went to her hometown and asked about her. Everyone there agreed that she was a shy but otherwise ordinary girl. But that doesn’t make sense. The Lillian I knew was anything but shy. She was assertive and ruthless, and she seemed to know everyone and everything.
I eventually found out that Lillian had developed an oxycodin and eventually heroin addiction after high school and ended up in a New York slum. I tracked down a homeless drug addict who swore that Lillian had died from an overdose years ago. I would have discounted it as figments of an addled mind, except for one curious detail; The date given by the addict was the precise date Lillian first started working for me.
I obtained the coroner’s report of the only New York Jane Doe who died on the same day that Lillian first started working for me. The Jane Doe looked nothing like Lillian though; she was freckled and red-haired with a snub nose.
So who was Lillian Morgenstern? Was she a figment of my imagination? A hallucination brought on by the stress of my campaign? Or was she something else entirely?
I suspect Lillian wanted me to lose all along, and that I was only ever a pawn meant to pave the way for my opponent. From what I can tell however Lillian has never had any affiliation with my opponent. He campaign manager Ari Mann insisted he had never even met Lillian. From what I can tell my erstwhile opponent is a fundamentally decent man, we just disagree on certain policy points.
There is one point I just cant let go though: He succesfully lobbied to decrease the import tax on a certain rare earth metal though. The measure has been succesful and a boost to american industry. The increased US demand has created a global shortage however, which has in turn increased global tensions. It sounds insane that she would execute a multi- year plan to have me lose an election just for that to happen, but I truly believe that was her intent all along.
The world is a dangerous place, and I fear that we are on the brink of another world war. I don’t know if I can stop it, but I will try. I will keep spreading the truth, no matter how crazy it sounds. Maybe someone will listen to me, and maybe I can make a difference.