Didn’t wanna pay for the flight? Is it too much to be elsewhere without your trusty mechanical steed? Whatever your reason, road trips are an activity most of us will experience at least once in our lives. Yes, it can be grueling, you will experience driver’s fatigue and such, and perhaps you may see things that can be considered abnormal.
As an avid road trip enjoyer myself, I’ve come across a variety of strange sightings and phenomena. This is both a guide and a personal journal to ensure your next long drive is more optimal than mine have been.
These buildings will only appear when you’re on half a tank or less, and they’re more frequent the closer to empty your tank becomes. They take the form of your typical gas stations with the twist of remaining nameless and absent on any and all navigational tools.
Though it might be enticing to stop and fill up, this will not be possible at a reverse gas station. Should you pull up to one, the fuel pumps will seemingly work as normal, however do not be fooled. Instead of tracking the volume of fuel you’re putting into your vehicle, the pump is actually displaying the amount of fuel being siphoned out.
Strategies: -Always bring at least one full jerry can to ensure your car can continue on to the next proper station.
-Before fueling up, always check that your location is visible on Google maps or similar apps. Printing out a map of the region you’re travelling is useful for low service areas.
Should you ever end up at one of these reverse stations by mistake, do not panic. So long as you did not siphon the rest of your fuel out, you’re more than fine to drive away.
If you were unfortunate enough to draim your tank and do not have a jerry can on hand, your best bet is to enter the store and pay for the fuel you lost as if you had filled up. The clerk will not appear to be abnormal in any way, and you should thank him for the fuel before leaving. Complaints or acknowledgement of the nature of the reverse gas station will result in immediate hostility from said clerk. Refer to the consequence section for escape strategies. Once the fuel has been paid for, leave the premises and walk until the station is out of sight before calling for help. Your car cannot be saved.
Do not buy any consumable items. They act similarly to the pumps, and will remove calories from your body rather than add to your intake.
Consequences - Angering the Clerk:
If you’ve angered the clerk, you’ll notice his face begin to shift in a sort of melting motion as he begins to tell profanities. This is the time you need to start running. Your car is not safe, and neither are you. He’s extremely athletic, and ridiculously strong.
Fortunately, as an employee he cannot leave his workplace unattended, and will not follow you beyond any point at which he cannot observe the fuel pumps. You can usually lose him by running behind any bushes, trees or over hills. Basically, anywhere the station is out of sight is off limits for this guy. I was not so lucky on my first encounter, typing with one hand is extremely tedious, you know.
Once you’re in a safe space, you may call for help, or in the event you see a Yellow Sky Light, you may walk towards it.
Returning to line of sight of the fuel pumps will not be safe until you’ve left the area.
During night driving, you may notice glowing orbs moving across the horizon. Imagine a shooting star, but in slow, sporadic motion. These are what I like to call Sky Lights, and they’re mostly harmless in my experience. They come in a variety of colours, and you may sometimes see multiple at once! However, do not be fooled by their beauty. Some Sky Lights do not wish to be watched.
Variants and Strategies:
White Sky Lights: Absolutely harmless, and you may watch to your leisure as you drive.
Purple Sky Lights: These ones are kind of pompous assholes. For the duration of its stay, you must turn off your headlights and continue to drive. Purple Sky Lights have a stage presence they must maintain, and they do not appreciate light sources of any kind stealing their thunder.
I know a lot of you may be concerned about potentially driving in complete darkness, but worry not. So long as the purple Sky Light is present, you will not encounter any other cars, and driving towards it will keep you on the road to your destination.
Should another Sky Light or light source (such as your headlights) appear alongside a purple one, the it will repeatedly smash itself into the intruding light source until it dissipates.
Yellow Sky Lights: These ones are actually quite helpful, albeit rare. They only appear in the event your car has stopped working, and walking towards one will take you through the least dangerous path on foot to help of any sort. This can include anything from real gas stations to hospitable residences and even fast food joints.
Do not mistake its presence for complete safety, however. All it can do is guide, and you’re still plenty vulnerable to wild animals and any of the other entities on this list.
Red Sky Lights: Sorry to say, you’re a little bit fucked on this one. Red Sky Lights announce their presence by immediately cutting your car’s engine and lights before appearing. During this period, try your best not to drift off of the road as you slow to a halt.
Once stopped, (and hopefully not rolled over), you absolutely must keep your eyes off of the sky. Even glancing at the red Sky Light harbours dire consequences. I’ll never forget you Sarah. The fear never left your eyes, wherever they may be now.
From what I could observe, Red Sky Lights will attempt to be seen by darting to wherever your eyes are cast, glowing brighter in agitation if you continue to ignore it. It cannot do anything to you if you do not look so continue looking at your lap or wherever you decide to cast your gaze. You’ll know you’re safe when your engine and lights return.
Blue Sky Lights: These ones I haven’t quite figured out. I’ll keep you all updated if I do, but for now I’ve found the safest bet is to pull over and observe them. It’s incredibly hard to describe but the air somehow feels thinner when these are around. They’re very pretty though!
When you were a kid, do you remember imagining that little man running along side your car, doing cool tricks as your parents drove? You were so invested that they almost felt real? I’ve found that this perception was not just your overactive imagination; they exist! And they’re fucking annoying.
They’re usually pitch black, but can occasionally appear in shades of grey. Naturally, their physique is quite lean, and they don’t have any real prominent facial features or clothing items from what I’ve seen. Though, some do seem to have branches jammed into their heads for a classy flair I guess? I don’t get it, really but to each their own. Did I mention that they’re also fucking huge? Easily would be a whole head above me if I were to stand beside them (6’2 for reference).
There really isn’t much to say about these guys, they’re usually just there to run for the sake of it, but some are die hard competitors and will do whatever it takes get ahead of you.
Strategies: You’ll want to be going just a little above the speed limit. A good rule of thumb is to increase your speed by 5%. For example, if the speed limit is 90km/h, you’ll want to be going around 95km/h (94.5 specifically but who’s keeping score?).
Continue at this speed and keeping the road runner in your rearview mirror until they get bored and leave. This can go on for up to 30 minutes in my experience, so be prepped to potentially cop a fine if there are any cameras around.
-Always be sure to have at least 2 spare tyres in the car at all times. Refer to the comsequence section for why.
Consequences: Should a road runner overtake you, they’ll make the next few minutes of your drive hell. These fuckers drop tacks on the road to pop your tires, throw up rocks to smash your windscreen - that sort of annoying shit. I’ve even had one turn my left side mirror 180 degrees as they ran past, and even without a mouth I know that motherfucker was laughing. They never stay after your vehicle is no longer road worthy so fret not.
I’ve got a whole lot more to document but this sort of large scale typing is quite taxing on my hand and I’m about to hit the road myself. That’s my guide for now, stay alert and stay informed my fellow roadies.