The bright lights of the gym shone like a beacon. At 11pm on a Saturday night, it was the only business on the street open. The gym was a lighthouse on a dark horizon. And I was in troubled waters.
The treadmills and stationary bikes pushed against the front facade stood empty. Inside, the now familiar upbeat dance music played on its loop. I paused by the gate, pass in hand and listened. Nothing but the music. No weights clanging. No juiced up gym rats grunting. I had the place to myself.
I smiled after scanning the empty room. It had been a bit of a rough month - that was the mother of all understatements - and this was the antidote. Lift heavy stone and make sad voice in head quiet. Isn’t that what they said?
I grabbed a pair of dumbbells from the rack and hammered out some curls. I closed my eyes and imagined all the stress and all the hurt dripping off me like sweat.
The dumbbells thumped back into the empty slots. I grunted, the way you do when no one is around to hear. Then I saw him. In the reflection of the mirror, sat on a bench pushed below the squat rack. Sleeveless top, gigantic tattooed arms and a neck somehow thicker than his head. The epitome of the Gymbro.
I cursed myself. Why hadn’t I checked? But I was sure I had. In any case I was overcome with a compulsion to apologise for being so loud. In a room populated by two people, you hear any and all noise. And I hated over the top grunts in the gym. I couldn’t muster the courage to go over, so I pretended to be busy with my phone.
He got up and walked over. I heard him approach, but kept my eyes on the phone and scrolled without reading. A fast beat reverberated from his headphones. It was either thrash metal or the type of song they played in the dance pit at 1am at a nightclub. I didn’t have the courage to ask in case I was wrong either way.
He sat on the bench beside me. He took two of the big dumbbells sitting on the ground below the rack and plonked them beside the bench. The rubber mat shook.
Fuck, just what I needed. Was it too much to ask for a Saturday night workout alone? I hadn’t wanted to be around people these last few weeks. Four weeks and one day to be exact.
I had known something was wrong. My first clue was when Kelly stopped nestling her knee against my thigh when we sat together at lunch. She used to text me every night, and then I waited days without my phone vibrating at all. Then on the first Friday of last month I pushed the issue. I demanded to know what was wrong. She told me to wait until after school. I couldn’t wait. She dumped me right then and there in the lunch room. I’m sure half the school heard. For a couple of beats you could have heard a pin nestle gently onto a soft cushion. Then the snickers started. Then the laughter. I ran out of there and hid in the bathroom.
I found out the following Monday that Kelly had already started dating Steven. Had they been messing around behind my back? Maybe. Trouble was I couldn’t blame her. Steven was a solid rung or two higher on the social scale. Well to do family and genetics direct and unfiltered from the damn Chad factory. Some people have all the luck. Fuck him.
I picked up the dumbbells and did another set. Gymbro sat on the bench staring at himself in the mirror. Not flexing or anything, only staring. Was he going through some shit too? Hell, why else would someone be at the gym on a Saturday night? It crossed my mind to ask, but I thought better of it. Then he’d ask me the same question in reverse and I didn’t want to talk about it. Not even with a stranger.
An awkward silence developed. We were an arms length away from each other in an otherwise empty room and yet we hadn’t even acknowledged each other. My eyes fell to the oversized shaker beside his black shoes. It was full to the brim with a fluorescent green liquid. He grabbed the shaker and flipped the lid and took a sip. He noticed I was watching.
Instinctively I blurted out, “What is that?”
He slipped his headphones down around his neck. “Excuse me?”
“What are you drinking?”
He smiled. “Rocket fuel.”
I clicked my tongue. Why do people do that? Why not tell me what it is?
He put the shaker back down beside his shoe. “You know what rocket fuel does?”
“It takes people to the moon.” I pushed a lung full of air out my nose.
He shook his head. “No. Rocket fuel gives you the thing you want most in the world. I wanted to be big. I drank the rocket fuel and look at me now. I’m big.”
He held out his arms, thick and covered in a mesh of fat veins almost bursting through the skin.
“I think those helped actually.” I pointed to the weights beside his bench. I doubted I could dead lift a single one of those.
“Without the rocket fuel I’m lifting the same as you.”
“What’s in it?”
“Trade secret. You want some?”
I eyed the shaker and half shook my head.
“I have a spare in the locker room. Haven’t touched it.”
“And it will get me as big as you?”
“If that’s what you really want.”
I imagined it. Walking into school, my shirt sleeves hanging on for dear life. That would put me up a rung or two. Suddenly old pretty-boy Steven isn’t looking so hot.
“Say the word.”
“How much?”
“Free of charge. I’m here to help.”
I shrugged. “Ok.”
What did I have to lose?
He waddled to the locker room. He had one of those walks that the big guys have, when all the muscle gets in the way of the natural movements of the skeleton. He came back with an identical shaker filled to the brim with the same fluorescent green liquid. He handed it to me.
“This one’s for you.”
“And it will get me like you.”
“It will get you your heart’s desire.”
I popped the lid and took a mouthful. It was sweet at first but lingered bitter. I took a second swig to get the sweetness back.
“How much do I need to drink.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
He smiled and slipped his headphones back over his ears.
“What about the shaker?”
“Keep it.”
“Thanks.”
I held the shaker up like I was giving a toast. He nodded and lay down on the bench and pumped the enormous dumbbells like they were nothing.
I grabbed the next size up from the last set I completed and pumped away. Watching in the mirror I imagined myself with thick arms, veins bulging. I saw Kelly wrapping her delicate fingers around my biceps. I shot a glance to Steven at a table on his own, humiliated. Yeah, fuck him. I bet they were fooling around behind my back. As I slammed down the dumbbells I imagined rearranging his face in front of the entire school.
Half way through the workout I noticed Gymbro was gone. The turnstile gate at the front clangs when someone leaves. I should have heard it. He wasn’t in the locker room either. Strange. I wished he’d stayed. I had questions. How long between drinking the rocket fuel and getting huge? Too fast would arouse suspicion. Never mind. I took another sip.
When I got home I took off my shirt and looked in the mirror. There wasn’t any difference. Shoulders that were corners instead of rounded. Spindly arms. A stomach wider than my chest. You must have to sleep on it.
I pulled the shaker from my gym bag. A couple of drops remained in the bottom. I turned up the shaker and the drops rolled down the edge and through the gap in the lid and onto my waiting tongue. I went to bed.
I had vivid dreams. I held Kelly in my arms. She wept. Tears of joy over our rekindled romance. Off to the side a defeated Steven lay battered and bruised. Blood dribbled from his mouth and his eyes stared out lifelessly. I smiled.
I woke in the same body I had gone to sleep in. Well this was fucked. I’d go to the gym again tonight and find Gymbro, if I could even find him, and get to the bottom of this.
I passed the day in suspended boredom. I used to go cycling on Sunday with a couple of guys from school. But after I started with Kelly I went less and less until I stopped going altogether. It was my fault, I knew it and the guys knew it too. They’d be out climbing the hills today, but I didn’t want to go. It would be admitting Kelly was gone for good and I had regressed back into a previous life I thought I’d left behind.
I waited until the clock ticked over to the same time I’d left the house the night before. If Gymbro was on a schedule then that was the best chance of catching him.
Sunday night streets are even quieter than Saturday night streets. The gym again shone like a beacon. There was something ominous about the light that hadn’t been there the night before. An almost reddish tinge. I pushed on.
I trembled as I burst through the turnstile. Fuck. The gym was empty. That asshole had fed me god only knows what and disappeared. He was probably off laughing about it with all his Gymbro mates as they fed each other spoonfuls of protein powder.
“That bastard.”
“Who is a bastard?”
I spun around. It was Gymbro.
“No one.”
“Good to see you again. Consistency is the key to life.”
“When am I going to see results?”
“Results?”
“From the rocket fuel. You said I’d get big.”
“I said you’d get what you most desired.”
“When?”
His eyes panned to the window behind me. I followed his gaze to the empty street. I was about to turn back when I heard the sound of squealing tyres. A small red hatchback flashed into view. It was going way too fast for the small street and its rear end fishtailed. The tyres locked in a cloud of smoke. But too late. The hatchback plowed into the base of a streetlight. The metal pole gave a little on impact but then held as the front end of the car crumpled around it. In a shower of shattered glass a figure flew through the windshield and rolled onto the road, arms and legs flailing limply like a doll hurled across the room.
“Holy shit,” I said.
Under the bright lights of the gym my reflection in the full height windows blended with the mangled car. The passenger side door shook and then flew open, a pair of legs forcing it.
“Holy shit,” I said again.
Kelly climbed out of the passenger side. The same Kelly who had so coldly dumped me last month. I took a couple of steps closer to the window. Kelly ran to the road and collapsed next to the body that had flown through the windshield. She crouched and cradled the head in her arms. Steven. His head was beat up and bleeding like it had been in my dream. His eyes open and lifeless.
“Do you like what you see?”
It was Gymbro. I saw him over my shoulder in the reflection. He wore a grin so wide I could see all his teeth.
“What?”
“Do you like what you see? The rocket fuel delivers another promise.”
“Huh? Are you suggesting I did this?”
“Who else?”
“I wanted to get big. That’s what I said. Remember?”
“We don’t always say what we mean. This is what you wanted. Admit it.”
“No. No. I mean I may have fantasised about it.”
“And what are fantasies except manifestations of our true desires.” He licked his teeth with his tongue as he formed the final ’s’.
“I didn’t do this.”
“Then who did?”
“It was an accident.”
He shook his head.
“Then you. You and your rocket fuel.”
“The rocket fuel is nothing unless combined with an agent holding a desire.”
“You should have warned me.”
“You shouldn’t let yourself be motivated by spite and hatred. When those are our motivators, blood is inevitably spilled.”
Kelly took out her phone and dialled. The window muffled her cries. Steven hadn’t moved. A passer by stopped. He took one look and turned his back and put his hands over his face.
The ambulance came and then the police. One of the officers spied me watching through the window. She came in and asked if I had seen what happened. I lied and told her I’d heard the crash but hadn’t seen it. I don’t know why I did that. She asked if there were any other witnesses. I looked around the gym, but Gymbro was gone. Was he ever even there? I told the officer no to bring an end to the conversation.
Kelly’s mother arrived and put an arm around her daughter. They shuffled towards the gym window. I turned and went to the bathroom and hid. I waited more than an hour before coming out. When I did Kelly and her mother and Steven were all gone. A tow truck had arrived to deal with the car.
I grabbed my bag and headed for the door. A heavy blanket of guilt wrapped itself around my shoulders. Had I caused the accident? No, I couldn’t have. Magic potions granting wishes didn’t exist. And yet Steven had gone through the windshield. His face had looked exactly like in my dream.
I stuck my key in the front door and laughed to myself. Of course it wasn’t the rocket fuel. What’s more I would wake up tomorrow and find it had all been a dream. Steven would shoulder charge me in the hallway and Kelly would be smiling instead of crying and all would be right with the world.
Today at school everyone was talking about the accident. The news flowed like electricity from person to person until the whole school knew. Steven was dead and Kelly was distraught.
I occupied a lonely corner on a long table at lunch. I watched for Kelly, but she was not there. Of course she wasn’t. Who would turn up to school the day after something like that?
I put away my tray and Jessica Knowles tapped me on the shoulder. She was Kelly’s best friend. We didn’t get along at the best of times. She dipped one shoulder and tilted her head and said, “What were you doing at the gym last night?”
“What?”
“The gym. The one on Seymour where the accident happened.”
Shit. Kelly saw me. I thought I had managed to squirrel myself away in the bathroom before she looked inside.
“Nothing,” I said.
Jessica looked me up and down and frowned. “You don’t work out.”
“I just started.”
“Well why didn’t you try to help? Most people would try to help.”
I stammered but couldn’t come up with an answer. There was no logical reason to have hidden away that she would understand. Stories about sugary drinks and swole Gymbros granting wishes weren’t exactly rational. I pushed past Jessica and went to class.
The afternoon was torture. I took nothing in. My mind occupied with the accident and what the Gymbro had said to me. That it had been my doing. My anger and hatred and spite had been what precipitated the events of last night. I had to make it right.
I snuck out after my parents and brother went to bed. I pulled my hood up in part against the cold and in part paranoid someone might see me. Through the windows of the gym I could see a couple of guys lifting weights and a girl on a bike. I waited another torturous hour before the gym was empty. Something told me it had to be empty for the Gymbro to be there.
I swiped my card and flicked through the turnstile. The big open space for the free-weights was empty. The side area for the cardio equipment empty too. Where are you Gymbro?
Then I saw him. The rounded back of his shoulders, like he had basketballs below his skin, threatening to tear his shirt. He was at the table beside the reception. I almost ran over to him and then stopped.
Sat opposite was Kelly. They turned and looked at me. I awkwardly raised a hand in greeting.
“What are you doing here?” I said.
Kelly raised her eyebrows. “Am I not allowed?”
“No. I didn’t mean that. I thought that you would have other things on your mind.”
“I couldn’t sleep. I can’t close my eyes without seeing him. But then something else came to me. Your gawking face through the window before you turned and scuttled away. I can’t say why, but I felt like I needed to come here.”
“We’ve been chatting,” Gymbro said.
“About what?”
He smiled, “Only the truth.”
“What truth?”
Kelly dropped her eyes to the table, to her hands that cradled a shaker. In the shaker was a mouthful of fluorescent green liquid. Rocket fuel. She popped the lid and drained the rest.
“Is that rocket fuel?” I asked.
Kelly nodded. She smiled. An angry smile. There was no sparkle in her eyes, only a cold animosity.
“You gave her rocket fuel?”
Gymbro turned up his palms. “I wouldn’t be much of a business man if I limited myself to one customer.”
Kelly stood and let her hand rest on Gymbro’s shoulder.
“Thank you for everything,” she said.
She strode towards me and I had to side step to let her pass.
“What did you wish for?” I said.
She turned back and grinned, but said nothing.
I sat down opposite Gymbro. “What did she wish for?”
“Whatever she wants most in the world.”
“Did you tell her that I was responsible for last night?”
“I only told her the truth.”
“Can I have some more rocket fuel?”
Gymbro smiled. “Sorry chief, it’s a one-time only deal.”
“What? You never told me that. Give me some more. I need it.”
“You had yours. Now it’s her turn.”
I slapped the table. “No.”
Gymbro’s face grew stern. He leaned forwards. “One time only. If it comes for you this time then it comes and there’s no stopping it. And if it knocks on the door know that you did it to yourself.”
He stood and picked up his bag and hurdled the turnstile and walked out the door. I followed him out into the night but he was gone.
I ran home. The image of Kelly’s cold stare sending chills up my spine. She wouldn’t, would she? Could she want me dead more than anything else in the world?
I’ve tried calling her, but she won’t pick up.
I’m scared. I’m in big trouble aren’t I?