I’m not sure what I’m intending for this post to be. Maybe a confession? Or a suicide note? Maybe so that when this all comes out, people will know I do feel remorse?
It started February 3rd, 2023. The first day of the new semester. My classes were all staying the same, so I wasn’t really that excited for the new semester. Really, I was just excited for my grades to start fresh.
That was until she walked into class that morning. She had waist-length hair that seemed to flow over her shoulders perfectly, and brown doe-like eyes that could melt you if you stared long enough. Her skin was akin to porcelain, light blush brushing her cheeks.
She stood off to the side, nervously awaiting instruction on where to sit.
Mrs. Whelms hastily rushed through the class, apologizing for being a little late.
“Right, new student.. Uhm, for today just sit wherevers open.”
Without hesitation, my two friends both called out inviting her to sit with one of them. They gave each other the side eye, as she stood frozen. “I’m open too.” Klarisse, one of the girls in the classroom said sheepishly.
She smiled, taking a seat next to her and setting her bag down as Elias and Asher both huffed at being rejected. I found myself staring at her again, mesmerized by her perfectly constructed features.
Later, at lunch Elias and Asher were jabbering to each other as they came to sit down and join me. “Yo, Ray,” Elias sat down next to me. “That new girl in Mrs. Whelms class is so fine.” He smirked, radiating crude intentions.
“Yeah, I know.” I said, smiling back. “Me and Asher wanted to hang out later, were gonna ask Klarisse if she wants to join and hint for her to ask the new girl too. You think it’ll work?” Elias grinned cunningly.
“You barely know her, isn’t that weird?” I ask as Asher rolls his eyes. “Cmon, don’t make me say it. I mean, she’s not all that popular. I’m sure she’d jump at the chance to hang out with us.” He admitted.
“Yeah. I guess you’re right.” I agreed, “So you’re in right? You’re gonna join us?” Elias asked, “Yeah for sure dude. I’ll be at your place.”
Later that night, we all waited for them to show up at Elias’s house. I picked at my skin, nervously. I’d made sure to dress a little nicer, wanting to make a good impression on her. We were all friends, but it sort of felt like we were all at each other’s necks, desperate to gain her attention while in competition with the other.
The doorbell rang, Elias and Asher were downstairs grabbing some sodas so I just answered the door. I welcomed them in, and told them to just sit where ever and that Asher and Elias were just downstairs doing something.
“I got a treat for us all,” Elias beamed up the stairs, two cases of beer in his hands swinging them from side to side showing them off. “You’re alright with that, right?” He asked her, as a wide smile grew across her face.
“More than alright with it,” she said holding out her hand indicating for him to hand her one. She grabbed the bottle, gripping it hard and twisting the cap off.
“Hey I never even got your name, by the way.” I said, watching her gulp down beer. “Mara,” she said setting down her bottle. “It’s nice to meet you.” She sat back on the couch.
Klarisse sat down, awkwardly. “So.. What’re we gonna do?” She asked, folding her hands. “Wanna just turn on a movie and chill?” Asher sat back on the recliner, also now drinking the beer.
Elias clicked on the TV to some channel, but none of us really payed attention to the TV. We all just drank and talked for a while. Elias came out of the kitchen, a few shot glasses in hand.
“Got some more for us, you down?” He glanced to Mara who was already on her second bottle. “Oh, I don’t know.” She smiled that gorgeous smile.
“Cmon,” Elias nudged her shoulder. “Don’t be such a pussy.” He began pouring vodka into the shot glass and held it out to her. “No, really. I think I’m fine.” She said softly, “Seriously just drink it.” His tone darkened.
She took it, and soon we all had shot glasses in our hand. “Okay, on one.. Two.. Three..” We all tilted our heads back, gulping down the intense liquid.
we all coughed a bit, besides Mara. Elias stared at her, as she began to go sort of quiet. “Hey, Mara are you okay?” Klarisse put her hand on her back, rubbing it.
“Mm.. Yeah.” She muttered, resting her head back on the couch. Her face was even more pale than it already was, and her eyes seemed to be fighting to stay open.
Asher knew, I knew, I’m know Elias knew. He gently grabbed her by her arms. “I think she needs to go lie down,” he said. “Right?” he smiled at her. “Mm.. Hhmm.” She mumbled something incoherent.
We all watched Elias help her stumbling self into his room, knowing full well what was going on yet not saying a word. I stared, in disbelief trying to settle my conflicting emotions down.
“He’s..” Klarisse muttered something, and we all just exchanged knowing glances. Asher knew, but I could tell he didn’t care. If anything, he was just jealous he couldn’t get to her first.
Maybe I’m making myself seen to innocent, but I sat there. I didn’t do a thing to help and if anything, I too felt a twinge of jealousy.
“Fuck!” Elias’s voice roared urgently through the house. I rose to my feet, Asher whipping around too. We all stood still for a moment, a clattering echoed through the house.
Steady thumps came from the bedroom, me and Asher slowly approached the bedroom listening intently. I turned the door knob, slowly opening the door and peering through.
Mara was on the ground half clothed as Elias stood over her, beating her harshly. “Elias, what the fuck stop it man!” Asher called out, Elias stood up turning around to meet our horrified eyes.
“She.. Woke up. I got scared.” He mumbled, glancing back down at her and covering his mouth as if he was shocked by his own doing. Her once beautiful face was gushing blood, the same perfectly glossy hair stuck to her face. her eyes open staring into nothingness, the grotesque twitching slowly dying out.
“Is she..” Klarisse squeaked, shakily tapping me on the shoulder. Her eyes were wide with fear.
“Holy shit. We gotta call the cops,” I pulled out my phone, as Elias sprung back to his feet and snatched it from me. “No fucking way man! I’m not going to jail, and you all let this happen! You let me take her!” He demanded, putting my phone into his back pocket.
“Help me hide this or we’re going down together.” He said, coldly. The rest of that portion of the night was a blur, as we all discussed the best course of action. I don’t know why me and Asher complied, maybe because we thought we’d get in trouble or mainly because we really did feel guilty. But I know Klarisse feared for her own life.
“Help me dig.” Elias said, plunging his shovel into the cold soil. Klarisse stood staring at him, clutching the shovel in her cold, clammy hands. “I said help me fucking dig.” He snapped at her, as she began to sob profusely.
“Elias shut the fuck up. You did the deed, why should we have to help you?” Asher
scoffed.
We all stood around him, watching him dig. I sunk into my own thoughts, regret filling my bones. We were for sure to get caught, anyway. “This is so pointless.” I muttered. They all ignored me.
“Help me carry her,” Asher motioned me to over to help. I grasped her ankles firmly, and we heaved her up and out of the trunk. She was impossibly light, limp in my hands.
We sat her in the grave gently, as we all began shoveling the dirt back into the grave. I watched as slowly, her body became one with the dirt and her death solidified and it all became real.
the last bit of dirt covered her, like a grisly blanket. Klarisses sobs became more and more gut wrenching. “I’m sorry, Mara.” She knelt down, taking a moment. Asher stared blankly for a few moments before joining her, “I’m sorry too. Mara.” We both said in unison, Elias stood over us.
“Let’s just go back.” Elias said, turning around. A shrill shriek escaped his lips, as we all turned to what he was looking at. There in the front seat of the car, she sat. Perfectly intact, perfectly beautiful. The car roared to life and she unrolled the window.
“Wow!” Her endearing, high pitched voice sent a chill down my spine. “You’re all so drunk, maybe I should drive.” She said, opening the car door and stepping out.
“The fuck!” Elias said, gripping his shovel. “She’s a fucking demon or something!” He stepped back. She approached Elias first, as he stood frozen in place. She cradeled his face in her hands, leaning in, kissing him softly. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”
She smirked, pushing him playfully. Her eyes, moments before joyful, inoccent and full of light fell to a dark, somber look.
“Klarisse.. You left me?” Mara stood inches from her face, as Klarisses sobs grew to screams. “You heartless bitch.” Mara cried, striking her in the stomach as Klarisse fell back.
She then peered over at us two, her eyes daggers through our already horrified hearts. “Jealous? Boys?” She giggled, approaching us. “Don’t worry, there’s plenty of me to go around!”
Bang. She fell to the floor, Klarisse wailed as she bashed her head in with her shovel. “You’re a fucking demon!” She cried.
I grabbed her by her shoulder, she whipped around and looked at me with feral eyes.
“Klarisse..” I slowly took the shovel from her, and just began digging. They all watched me dig the grave, rolling Mara into it and recovering her.
“She’s gone. She’s gone. I’m sure she’s gone. Let’s just go home.” I cried, for the first time that night, stumbling into the car as we all drove home silently.
That night was torture, as we all returned to our homes stained with the trauma from that nights events. I didn’t sleep a wink, constantly reminding myself what a evil human being I was.
She was in my nightmares, standing over me. Her appearence that once drew me in now filled me with a deep dread when she visited me that night.
We all showed up to school zombies riddled with guilt. I settled into my chair, tears welling up in my eyes staring at Mara’s empty seat.
The bell chimed as Mrs. Whelms stood from her desk. “I’m gonna take attendance, start on your reading.” Mrs whelms announced.
“Am I on time?” A all to famiar voice came from behind me, that same endearing voice that drew me and everyone else in in just one listen.
I slowly turned my head around, and there she stood. Staring me blank in the eyes, as she slowly sat next to Klarisse. “Wanna hang out again later, guys?”
She kept coming back, each time, a more morbid death followed her. I am going to kill myself. She won’t go away and I can’t keep looking at her dead eyes, I can’t mourn the loss of my sanity and the loss of my best friend Elias, lost the day I watched him act so cruel. I am going to kill myself. And I hope I don’t come back.