My God mother left me a series of tapes before she died. It isn’t weird . Hold your horses if you’re gonna tell me just that . She was the only parent I’d ever known . And she knew when I’d be finally able to comprehend her words , she would be long gone .
She left me video tapes and letters. And a lot of them ! I have her wishes for each event in my life big or small , my first recital , prom days , graduations and birthdays . She also left me a number of advise tapes . Heartbreak ? Rejection? Failure ? Teenage hormones ? You name it . She recorded them and then organized them in an alphabetical manner (for she knew my ocd . A sweetheart , right ?) .
A box of tapes is titled “conversations” . Its like one tape that begins with , Today let’s talk about self worth I love watching these while having lunch in cafeteria . A rough school day made better ! One day Robert (one of my bullies) threw away my tape in a trash . I was so furious ! But I was scared too . Luckily , the tape was unscathed . And he showed up in a cast the whole week so that was fun karma .
Dad says it’s weird. Something along the line of “have some real friends” or “this obsession is not good” . I am like wtf he means ?It’s my God mother’s tapes , that she left for me .
Mom died when I was still an infant . And dad threw himself in work or drinks (alcohol business ). I think taking care of mom before she died and then looking after the entire household was a little bit too much for her . Dad was never around anyway . She’d often lay awake till late in the night or go for really long walks post midnight . These nights , she’d say reminded her of the one when mom died . Although , no one was around to listen to her . No one but me and I was still too young .
I remember doctors telling my dad that she had no physical ailment . She needed a break. Dad tried to convince her of moving back to her parents for a while but she wouldn’t hear anything about it .
Who will look after Jada ? I don’t have much time left .
She somehow knew she wasn’t gonna stay forever . Hence the tapes . They began quite graceful . The beginning tapes are where she’s the most beautiful and intelligent (as much as a person waiting to die could be) while talking . With time , the tapes worsen of course .
After my Godmother was gone , dad tried to step up. He gave his best , I’d give him that . However , it’s too late . At 11 , I knew more than I was supposed to . I live in my own world of school , work and tapes . It’s like I’ve captured her in a moment that will live for an eternity . She’s my best friend and my confidant .
Its my 21st birthday ! I read her letter. She says it’s special. My mom had me when she was 21 . I am excited to listen to this tape .
Hey sweetie. Happiest birthday darling ! You’re a big girl now . I have something awfully important to share with you . It’s about time…“
_TAPE 00 (THE BEGINNING , JADA)
Hey dad ! I know it’s all fresh and sudden right now . I am sorry but It was time. I have a series of tapes for you and this is the first one. You’d find the rest behind my nightstand .