I don’t even know how to start. I need to post this, I want it to. You know me. I am Michael, former boyfriend of Sophie, father of Artanis. You read, most likely, the testimonies of Sophie herself (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) and of her family (Part 4, Part 5, Part 6).
I think many of you have a very bad view on me. I am ok with it, I deserve it. I am a jerk who abandoned the girl he claimed to have loved and his own child. I am all that, indeed. I know this now. I wish I had known it before.
I have been homeless for almost a month. I had to, I could not remain at home. I slept in shelters for homeless people in Bucharest, nothing like my room at home. I lived in a large, newly constructed villa, in Mogoșoaia, in the suburbs. Almost a mansion. Mom is a pretty wealthy business woman, for Romanian standards. She always stated her support for me, as I prepared to graduate high school in 2025 and start my university studies in the UK. My high IQ and thirst for knowledge made me a prime candidate to get not just a bachelor degree, but also a Phd in philosophy. You may wonder then, why am I homeless? I ran away from home. Why? Well, I shall tell you.
I feel the need to state that life in homeless shelters is tough. People there are pretty different from people I mostly hung around most of my life. Before that, I used to spend time not just in reading, but also in talking, losing myself in endless, interesting discussions. Well, with these people, you can not (at least with most of them, most of the time). They are like aliens, in a way. I was beaten, some of my belongings were stolen, even my phone. Man, it was harsh, it seems I really can not endure too much pain. But I have learned how to, even managed to get my phone back. Not for the sake of it, but it was one of my last connections to my old life and discovering the news.
Dirty, cold, hungry, broken. But I could not go back home. Mom would accept me back pretty fast, I am sure. But I do not want to. I have not told Sophie anything. Since we met back in October, I have not seen or talked to her. Especially since her mom met my mom and me, upon discovering that my mom arranged for Sophie’s mom to be prosecuted for that urbanism project signed by her. But I wanted to meet them, I wanted to talk to them. I really owed them this.
Most nights the shelter became pretty crowded, due to the beings Sophie and me, then others met, the beings they called the Candles. They seemed not very perilous at first but they turned much stronger and dangerous to encounter. Many homeless people knew about their presence on the streets at night and wanted to be sheltered, not just due to the cold and humid weather, but for their own lives. It was known the Candles took people who were never seen again.
A few days ago, after a sleepless night, I decided to do what I knew in my heart I had to. I was at Obor marketplace, hoping for some scraps, for lunch. Cloudy day. Some farmers selling their merchandise gave me some fruits, at least I got some energy to walk towards the house from Vasile Lascăr. I took the tram from Obor to Vasile Lascăr, on Ștefan cel Mare highway. I did not feel ready for what I was about to do, but I had to. The more I waited, the worse it would get.
My heart beat was fast, as I entered the street, next to where the old tram depot used to be. I already kept my head down and my arms banging. My backpack with my things was not heavy, but it felt like I had a tone on my back. I didn’t even know if Sophie or her parents were home but, from what I read, most likely they were, but asleep. But Helena was, probably, not there. I felt I could not face her, at least not at first. Their alarm system was on but, since the Candles seem to be able to take off electricity in their vicinity, this was, probably, of little use, for their nocturnal protection. I rang the bell at the gate and waited. I rang the second time.
Eventually, after about 30 seconds more, the door opened and Mrs. Marinescu, Sophie’s mother, stood and looked at me. Her gaze seemed puzzled, at first, like trying to make sense who I was. I could not stop staring at the ground for long, I was unshaven, my clothes dirty, my hair was slimy, no surprise it took her some time. ”Michael? Is that you?” I raised my head up and said: ”Yes, Mrs. Marinescu. That’s me.” ”What happened to you?” She looked shocked. I knew she felt contempt towards me. I am not sure if this is what she had on her face, she seemed to have pitied me but, as I know from experience, pity and contempt came hand in hand. Especially after what I have done.
After a short period of silence, like awakened from dazzlement, said hastily: ”Come in! Are you ok?” ”No, I am not ok. I have many things to tell you and Sophie. So many…” I stayed in the hallway, as Mrs. Marinescu called: ”Sophie! Michael is here!” I heard footsteps and Sophie came, holding Artanis in her arms. She looked mature now, a mother, holding the child but I could still see my Sophie. The one I loved, the one I held in my arms, the one with whom we had so many dreams in the past years… She still had the same sense of style, of chic geek of before, only a little less perfected, since she is a mom now. Her reddish hair was longer now then before she had her child, but this expressed her Elven charm even better. Sophie looked with a certain awe in me as well, I could not look her in the eye. Artanis was awake, and she even smiled at me…
”Hello, Sophie. I missed you. I am really sorry for everything… I need to tell you…” She looked pitiful at me as well, or this is who it seemed to me. I looked to the left, there was a blonde girl, similar in age to Sophie. She looked like that type of girl who enjoys dancing to pop-EDM music in clubs. She had her fingernails painted blue and I realized who she was. Sophie wanted to introduce her to me, but I said: ”It is ok, I think I know this is your cousin, Sidonia.” They all looked a bit puzzled at me, so I continued: ”It’s ok, I read it all. I really struggled to keep my phone while being on the streets and at the homeless shelter. It is very good that all three of you are here, I would like all three of you to listen to what I have to say. I owe it to all the three of you.”
That really made them look even more weird to me. I let myself down on the floor and gave a big sigh. Mrs. Marinescu came to me: ”Are you ok? How come you have been to the homeless shelter?” ”I think I am pretty ok, ma’am, given the circumstances. I just need a little rest and tell you the best I can.” Sophie looked a little suspicious at me: ”What do you need to tell us?” I gave another sigh, as I kept looking at the carpet and played with a loose thread on it: ”All that I know. You have been under siege in this house for almost two months now, isn’t it? Helena stays every night, as a guard, as those things from time to time try their luck and come here. Without her, probably Artanis would have been taken by now. By the way, it seems Helena is not here. I assume she will come at sunset, right?” Sophie nodded her head.
I looked at them for a few seconds, trying to guess their feelings. They all looked with pitiful contempt. Sophie looked the most vile to me, Mrs. Marinescu seemed to have the most merciful look of all, Sidonia the most puzzled of all, but she had the same general attitude, like her cousin and aunt. Anyway, I could not bear their looks on me, although I deserved it. I started my story.
—-
I hope you are ok. I hope Artanis is ok. She was supposed to be my little miracle as well. I was supposed to love her, to protect her. But I didn„t. I went on with my life. Each time my consciousness got in my way and I talked to mom, she said firmly the same thing: ”That child is the responsibility of Sophie. She decided to keep the baby and gave her birth to her, it was her choice, not yours. You have a bright future ahead of you, you are too gifted to renounce it. If Sophie wanted to ruin her life, she has no right to claim you do the same.” I heard it so many times that, each time I had those thoughts, her voice came in my mind with the answer. So I went on with my life, missing you Sophie, missing the girl that you were before you got pregnant, as my stupid mind thought.
Mom insisted all is fabricated, all the supernatural elements, the Elvish thing, the whole experience from that night from a year ago, Helena herself. I believed her, since it made no sense. Indeed, Helena came to visit us on certain nights, to look at us from the street level. She told me this when we were at her house, in October. I remember feeling her presence outside, but I ignored it. She managed to observe that both me and mom were Elves as well, probably when I was asleep. Mom seemed to have seen her once, but kept quiet. As for myself, I wanted to be rational.
We were still in our old house, on Sfinții Voievozi street. Mom started to get some packages she brought in the basement. She started spending some time there, I did not pay much attention at first, as I wanted to get on with my life. I started to struggle with reading and studying, my scholarship for studying in the UK already seemed in danger. I thought of Sophie, I missed her, also my consciousness kept nagging me, although I knocked down its claims all the time. Mom suggested I get someone new, but I could not. I remember one night, I think it was July, it was close to 2 am, I was falling asleep, when I heard a creek on my closet door. I jumped out of the bed, turned on the light and the closet was barely opened. I thought nothing of it, closed it and went to sleep.
I woke up around 4 am, feeling weird. A faint knock was heard on the bottom of my bed, like something petty was doing it. It kept going and going. A shadow was creeping on my mind, it was too rhythmic and steady. I listened to it until sunrise, when it stopped. I almost forgot about it, I went to bed early the next night and fell asleep without remembering the previous night. Then, suddenly, I woke up around 3 am, hearing the closet door opening again. I turned on the light and saw it open. I went there, I looked inside, to convince myself it was nothing, closed it and blocked the door with a chair.
The next few days seemed ordinary, until one night I heard the same rhythmic knock under the bed. This time, I turned on the light, I even turned on all the sources of light in the room and looked under the bed. Only darkness, but the knock could still be heard. This time, it sounded like coming from a distance. I used the light from my phone to investigate more, nothing was visible. I got up to get to the bathroom and, on the way there, I involuntarily looked outside. A small light was seen in the yard and, after a moment of being confused, I realized it was that the basement light was on. My first thought was that mom had forgotten it, so I went outside. No, there was someone in the basement, doing something. A sudden anxiety and feeling I should not interfere with what was going on came into me. I couldn’t bring myself to open the door, so I went back into the bathroom, then went back to sleep.
I asked mom if she was there in the basement that night, she said yes, that there were some urgent things to do, since we shall move to the new house soon. I paid little attention to it, until about a week or two after this, when I felt something cold watching over me, while I was light asleep. I struggled to wake up, I could sense a cold hand from above wanting to touch me. When it was close to happening, I managed to wake up. I thought: ”Heck, so this is how sleep paralysis feels like…” It took me at least an hour to get back to sleep, as the entire house was silent.
Close to our move, in September, I had bitter thoughts of leaving this house I lived in for years and going into the new one. On the last night there, I woke up suddenly, feeling a strange presence in the corridor. A cold presence. A weird light was present there, moving around. I forced myself to get up and see, although my gut instinct told me not to. As I came towards it, I realized it was pretty strong, like a big flashlight type of light, kind of grey and it moved away from me. I followed it towards the entrance, then in the yard, hoping to see the source. I could not, as it moved out fast from the house, then from the yard, in the street. It went out into the street corner, before having a glimpse of the source.
At breakfast, I told mom the next day. One of her eyes twitched a bit, as she answered: ”Perhaps you were asleep. Or tired. I am sure there is an explanation for it.” ”No, mom, I am telling you, I was wide awake. It was something in the house.” She replied in her sharp style: ”Now, let’s stop talking of dreams and discuss some things. We are almost ready. I want you to concentrate, double check everything, leave nothing behind. Is every single thing packed?” ”It is.” ”Good. At 2 pm the van shall come.”
As I said goodbye to the old house and walked into mom’s car, I had a feeling that whatever was present last night marked the road towards the new house. Indeed, as the car followed the van with the last things, I felt the way was paved by the entity from last night. It also felt like I was going to a funeral or something, or to prison. I attributed it to normal issues, although I could not escape the feeling of being condemned to something. The first evening was supposed to be lovely, since we were now closer to nature, less noise, more fresh air etc. I knew the house already pretty well, but it still felt unwelcoming. If mom would not have wanted us to move, I would have stayed in the old house from downtown. If dad would have still lived, he would not have liked to abandon it, I think.
I remember my first step in. The yard, the house seemed, somehow, lifeless. It looked pretty neat, according to today’s Romanian standards, even if there was still the construction site of that tall device, taller than the mansion itself, for what we shall receive a hefty rent for a long time, mom said.
I could not get to sleep until very late that night. The little sleep I got was troubling. Somehow, I ended up at the bottom of the bed, being light asleep. In my half asleep state, I knew I had to stay there, since the top of the bed was occupied by something. When I realized that I crawled away from something, I started to shake pretty fast, I started moving frantically, until I fell to the floor and, finally, woke up hyperventilating. I jumped on my feet, in a panic, looking around. I turned on the light on the ceiling, nothing was visible. It took me a while to be able to sit on the bed again and get some sleep.
Mom was pretty calm and cheerful in the morning, yet distant, less affectionate, somehow. ”How did you sleep, dear?” ”Eh, not too good, mom..” ”It is ok, you shall get used to it.” she smiled. ”Perhaps you want to try some of the other rooms?” ”That sounds like a good idea, mom.” I have tried in the next few nights to sleep in other rooms, even on sofas or in sleeping bags. I still felt bad, but nothing of that magnitude. For a while. Eventually, I returned to the first room I was assigned.
Mom called me one morning, in less than a week from moving in. Workers kept doing their job in the yard, at that tower being built. Mom did her own things, mostly in the basement. Large boxes were in there, I did not enter too often. I struggled with studying more and more. I got used to the new house, but it was not becoming welcoming, in a way, it became more distant.
One morning, in the middle of October, at breakfast, delivered me the news: ”My dear boy, I have news for you. The project I have been working on takes shape. Soon, the cutting edge technology hosted on our land will become operational. I am in good relation with several people on this project. I am delighted to work with doctor Irene Sanderson, a Romanian expat to the US, who has achieved a career in innovative medicine. Now, she has returned to work as a military doctor for the Romanian army, in order to bring the latest innovations to our country. I invited her to our house next Monday. She will become a regular of this place and I am honored to take part in the project.”
This news did not feel right at all, but I swallowed my anxiety, as best as I could, and asked several technicalities, to pretend I was interested. I waited in the lobby, to greet Dr Sanderson, alongside mom. When, finally, the car arrived at our gate, and mom opened it, a rush of fear came over me, of whoever will step out of the vehicle. Something came from my gut, as I noticed a woman, dressed in a suite, holding a briefcase. She looked in her late 30ies or something, with dark magenta hair, braided in a formal way on the back. She seemed to be wearing a thick layer of makeup, similar to stage makeup. The moment she looked at me, I knew I had to move away. Mom held me and introduced me: ”Welcome, Dr. Sanderson. This is my son, Michael.”
I kept my hands on my back, something that is kind of rude, being afraid that she would like to shake hands with me. Dr. Sanderson looked maliciously and politely at me: ”Nice to meet you.” Her voice seemed cold and cruel, I could not bear being too much in her presence. Mom stepped in: ”Please excuse my son, he is under a lot of stress lately and he is not feeling very well. Would it be ok for him to get back to his room, while we do our work?” Dr Sanderson gave a sharp cruel smile: ”Of course.” ”Excuse me”, I mumbled and got up, in my room.
Mom and Dr. Sanderson spent some hours downstairs, even in the basement. It was getting late in the night, my heart started to beat irregularly in my chest. As time went on, I felt like a dark presence grew heavier in the house, that I did not dare to get downstairs. I think I prayed for the first time since childhood, remembering the prayers grandma taught me back then. I started to feel a little better.
This was only the first night of several when Dr. Sanderson came to our house. All of them seemed like the first. I remember lights were on the first floor, all lights, but the lights were not right, they felt worse than darkness itself. Like being at a wake, with several corpses on coffins in the middle of the night. I slept poorly during the night, I preferred to sleep during the day.
I remember going to the park, watching kids with their parents, especially babies. Those babies had both their mom and their dad with them, they seemed happy… I remember Sophie and Artanis, that I could be with them… Why couldn’t I be, after all? Indeed, I wished Sophie and I would get married years later, at least after getting bachelor degrees in the UK, and even have children. I was not ready to be a father yet. When I saw those tiny angels and the light in their parent’s eyes, I wished I could weep, but I could not. Something inside of me wanted to escape the nasty things at home, wanted to know my daughter, something inside of me started to long to have a family. It was too early, I would screw up my career, but it felt so sweet…
On this attitude, I contacted Sophie, to meet her. She agreed, eventually. The Candles first manifested themselves openly then, we were their first targets. I remember Sophie taking me to the house of Helena. Meeting Helena in her lair was an overwhelming experience, being into the claws of a predator like her. It was similar, even stronger to what I felt at home, the darkness and the Human side of me felt like a lamb ready to be eaten by a wolf.
But Helena was nice to us, due to Sophie, looked at the wounds, asked questions, even served me a fine wine (Sophie could not drink, since she was breastfeeding.) In time, I got used to it, a bit and I could sense that, behind all the darkness and Vampire nature Helena had, a strange warmth worked its way into me, like breathing fresh air after being locked in a moldy dungeon for long. Inside a dead, cold exterior, there was life and warmth. And a thought came to my mind then: ”Exactly the opposite is my mom„s case…” This made me ask myself even more questions, regarding my own Elvishness Helena stated, about God, about Christianity. I was not ready to abandon my old way of seeing and living in reality yet, but a door was open.
When I got home, mom was expecting me with dinner. ”My son, I have got something to tell you.” I did not dare to tell her what happened to me in the park. ”You know that I work together with Dr. Sanderson on a very important project. I think it is time to know more.
You know, my dear boy, I told you from the start, that Sophie and her family stated regarding Elves being real and them and us being Elves is nonsense. It seems, my dear boy, that they are true. Dr Sanderson has shown me so many new dimensions of our existence. Indeed, things that are called magic are real and someone with a mind like mine and someone with a mind like Irene can achieve marvelous things, if we work together, researching. Fortunately enough, the diary of Gordon Jameson, the famous British expat who lived in Romania in the first half of the XXth century, being discovered recently, gave us a lot of insight. We can indeed bring the dead to us, to talk to us, to work with us, for us, in a ritual.”
This brought a few seconds of silence, then she continued, with a gradual increase in some sort of exaltation in her tone: ”We make candles from wax mixed with substances from corpses, to call the souls of the Dead Elves to enter them. Oh! How much they desire bodies, how much they desire to live again! They will come, they will accept our offers!”
”You know, my dear boy, I am an engineer. A woman of practical things. I like to use what others have discovered and get into practical use. You see, first the principle of electromagnetism was used in creating motion on an instrument called an ammeter, that moved a bit, only in order to show the ampere, nothing. But someone realized that, if you make some small changes to the ammeter, you can create something great: the electrical engine. In the same way, I decided to use the principle of invocation of the spirits of Dead Elves into something far greater and practical. Indeed, Gordon James was a great scientist in magic, I shall be the engineer who will use in practice the principles he discovered.”
I looked at mom with awe. Some dark power resided in her now, I was really afraid of looking in her eyes, that seems to look like deep, dark, chasms now. A dark halo was around her. She went on:
”I realize this would be hard for you, at first, to accept. I shall give you time to join us. We shall use our Elven nature to achieve this great monument. Me and Dr. Sanderson shall collect individual Elves fit to be resources for our endeavor. The next big step is ahead. And remember, if all goes well, your daughter, Artanis, shall join you and me into it.” I looked terrified at her. She embraced me, with a cold embrace of death (or better said, of Hell) and said: ”Go now, rest. Sleep on it.”
I could not sleep that night. Dr. Sanderson came with a van and both her and mom dressed in some sort of black suit and left early in the evening. I wanted to get out, but shadows of humanoid shapes, like dressed with overcoats and fedoras, walked downstairs, bringing a cold terror. I barricaded myself in my room and prayed. I could not sleep the whole night, I slept during the day.
I barricaded the door that night and tried to pray, as best as I could. In recent years I was a theist, I believed in God, but more on a rational level, like in a necessary concept, but as something remote. Like God leaves us alone to do our thing. And we like it being so. At least until some things get to you. I did not know how to be a Christian, I was not sure I wanted yet. But I needed help. I felt ashamed for praying, for asking help, me who was absent that long. I re-read the testimony of Helena for that night, when she and Sophie met, last year, the night where she saved Sophie and Artanis. I started saying the ”Jesus Prayer” myself, although little I understood of it. It seemed to work pretty well in keeping what was going on outside my room away.
I wish I would have had the courage to reach out to Sophie and tell her all was going on, but I was afraid the dark spirits shall know and prevent me from doing it. I even thought that they might read my mind. Now I know that was not true, but I was under my own siege. I started feeling good in saying the Jesus Prayer, while I was locked in my room. I heard that night some screams downstairs, but did not dare to come out. I fell asleep at sunrise and woke up at 3 am. I missed school already for two days by now.
When evening came, mom called me in the living room. She smiled and looked satisfied, but even more distant now than she was before. ”You skipped school, dear. I shall take care of all, of course but, remember that you have your future ahead of you. What I do is that you shall be a powerful and respected man, as you deserve. It would be such a shame to make it all be for nothing, you would not like it…” I could sense something merciless speaking from inside her, something so cruel, that I started to shake. ”Yes, mom, I shall do my best to do it.” ”Good. For now, I consider it is for the best that you stay at home, for a few days, to get used to what we do around here. Then, I hope you shall decide to join us. Tonight is a special night for me and Irene, you are invited in for something truly spectacular.”
I started moving around anxiously, I think I started to panic, I wanted so desperately to avoid whatever was coming and it was pretty visible. I mumbled: ”I am sorry, mom, I am not feeling too well, I do not think I am ready yet.” She gave another cruel smile, and replied: ”Ok, for now. But you know, time is passing by, life is passing by, we must oblige ourselves pretty soon in doing what we have to do. Anyway, if anything goes well, next week we shall have the next stage of it.” I was allowed to get into my room that night and barricade myself again.
A deep coldness, a fluid like coldness came over the house, not a physical coldness, it was like something that drained like and wanted to turn everything into a cold grave, into a cold tomb. I heard some un-Human, unworthy noises outside, I made pray ceaselessly under my blanket. Voice like coming from another world, united into a rhythmic rumble. I took a peek at the barricaded window and I could see a mist and small light floating, then a great one floating as well. It did not take too much, until it all became dead silent and darkness enveloped the house. I was shaking under the mattress, I became afraid even to peek again over it.
I remember giving a deep sigh, and that was all. I think I passed out. I woke in the morning, it was about 10 am, still shaking. I looked around the house, mom did not seem to be in sight. In my mind, I knew what the solution was. I had nowhere to go, yet, since mom held the keys to the apartment she owned and rented, I felt I shall not be accepted by Sophie and her family, I could not rely on my friends, nor on my relatives, they shall consider me insane and send me back to mom.
I ate a bit and went online. I read that Sophie posted the testimony about the night when their home was invaded. It was Halloween night, they managed to destroy the wax incarnation of the creature on the lamppost and buried the wax. I realized it was the same creature I saw from the window leaving the house. I did know how much of a failure it was, because I did not know how much mom and Dr. Sanderson were able to replicate what they did during Halloween. I was still reluctant to leave the house, but I made a plan, I looked on homeless shelters in Bucharest online.
Fortunately, mom looked kind of dispirited and less talkative that evening, most likely due to the failure of last night. I took this as an encouraging sign. The night was bad, as usual, but it was quite peaceful. In the morning, at breakfast, mom informed me: ”I think that, being in this situation, it is better for you to skip school for a while, until our life settles for a bit. Me and Irene need to change our approach into something more efficient and ergonomic. Fortunately, we have a plan for it, we have learned from the previous failure. We shall use real bones, in a new formula, to create composite bodies for them, not just wax. Sacrifices from the living Elves we took would allow them to be more stable and resist much more.
Until then, I arranged with her that our house will be guarded during the day, from intruders. I shall tell you when the next occasion for your initiation shall be, probably in a week at the most. I understand that you want to go out, meet your friends and such, but it is better to stay safe in here, until your initiations finish.” Then she kissed me on the top of my head, it felt like turning me to stone, and went to her business.
The guardians that were from an unknown security firm, they looked like soldiers, they even had helmets. When mom was away, I tried to get chatting with one of them, they gave me nasty stares and scolded me like: ”Kid, we are here to do our job. All we do is for your own protection.” Nobody told me explicitly: ”You are not allowed out the gate.” but I was almost sure they would stop me, if I tried out.
The next night new things started happening down stairs, I heard screams again. Who would believe me? I had my phone with parental control installed on it, I could not reach out for anyone by now and, besides Sophie, her family and Helena, who would believe me, anyway?
Mom eventually announced to me my initiation night that I could not avoid. I prayed for a way out. I could not jump the fence, too tall and the guards would notice me.
She took me that evening for a walk, it was the evening when we met Mrs. Marinescu. I had some desperate plans in my head, I asked mom to go to the toilet, at a gas station. She said home is close, no need for that. I had my backpack with me, to carry my water bottle and medication, she allowed me to have it. I managed to stash in it some things, not much, it would have been too visible.
”Mom, I really need to go to the restroom. It is cold and I drank a lot of liquid.” ”I tell you what… We stop at that gas station, but we need to hurry. We shall meet an important collaborator of mine and Irene, Mr. Breeze, who is anxious to meet you and help you with many things.
I contemplated a potential route to escape, while in the bathroom, like asking for the help from the people there, or just running away in the bushes behind. Unfortunately, it was close to the lake and I knew I had to stay away from it, but I was willing to take my chances. I decided to run, since I thought mom would, probably, be able to take down both female employees present at the gas station.
But, when I was back out the door, my moms car was on the right and she was waiting for me. Next to her was a man wearing a black overcoat and fedora. I could not see his face. The lights went out and a deep sense of dread came over me. Mom came smiling towards me: ”Michael, this is Mr. Breeze. He was kind enough to come to meet us here.” The man looked close to pure blackness, like a huge, ruthless, emptiness that sucked me in. I felt like I was losing it, if I looked a little more into it. One of the employees from the gas station gave a scream that shook me and I started running in the bushes.
I ran chaotically, mumbling: ”God, help me! Christ, help me!” I could feel Mr. Breeze coming after me, I fumbled around. Yet, I felt a discreet presence, something or someone protecting me, not obvious at first, but it became visible when I saw a street close. I did not dare to look back, I knew that, if I do look back and see the presence, I may lose it and that will be it. In my right and left, some sort of tentacles of darkness tried to cut my way, coming from behind. When they moved, it was like splitting the air like it was some sort of fluid, a terrible, unnatural noise, like some sort of hellish swimming they made. One more step, and I shall be out of the bush, in the street. A much bigger tentacle came from behind, trying to block the way, I managed to make the sign of the cross over it and it just broke into thin air. Breathing hard, I jumped onto the pavement.
I still ran away, although I was better and I felt that the worst was behind me. I ran for about 15 minutes, falling exhausted to the ground. All seemed clear around me, but I knew I had to go. I wandered around that night on the streets, it was cold and wet, but I felt free and alive. They did not get me. I remembered mom, eventually. I remembered that my mom, in a way, is dead. That thing she turned into is not her.
Life in the shelters was harsh. I managed to find a guy to reset my phone, in order to get rid of parental control or surveillance. During some nights at the shelter, I saw the Candles outside, in their new form. The homeless woke up and barricaded the doors, in order not to let them in. They are coming for me, I know it. But I shall not let them get me.
I came to you to ask forgiveness. Not just for what I did with Sophie and Artanis. I hope Sophie ‘s heart heals. I am determined now to be a father for Artanis. I am ready to take responsibility for all. And I also ask forgiveness for my hesitance. I should have had the courage to contact you earlier and tell you what was going on, before things went this far. I want to make things better, as best as I can. Mrs. Marinescu could have died in that attack or be taken, Sidonia could have died or been taken, and Sophie and Artanis could have been killed or taken. So many were. Please, allow me to stay here, I want to help. I want to sleep on the floor, on the carpets, there is much more than I deserve, anyway.
—
I kept my head down to the floor and, finally, bursted into tears. I felt no shame for crying in front of the ladies now, it felt liberating. Mrs Marinescu came and caressed the top of my head. Sophie came soon after next to me, then I dared to look into her eyes. I feared she would look harsh at me. But she was not looking too harsh, just a little abashed. Artanis cried a little, then started smiling and giggling at me. How could I ever refused this great gift, this miracle from The Lord? I smiled back at Artanis, then she reached her little hand and touched the top of my head. My heart was engulfed in a sweet peace.
Update: Part 8