I quickly plated up the fettuccine Alfredo I made for tonight. My girlfriend Julie was already seated at the table. Tonight was special. it’s been six long months since I last saw her.
“Here you go, baby. I hope you still enjoy my cooking.”
Julie sat in silence, fork resting gingerly in her right hand.
“Are you okay, babe?”
She stares off in the distance, ignoring me, not making any indication of what’s wrong. I know I fucked up last time we were together, but this seems extreme.
“I know you’re still mad about what happened, but do I really deserve the silent treatment?”
Julie made no changes to her demeanor. The silence was killing me.
“Look, I admit it, I screwed up everything that night. I’ve been trying to get you back since. I finally am able to get you here, and this is how you treat me?”
I have a feeling that she wants a grand apology. She won’t even look me in the eyes right now. I must be the biggest asshole walking this earth.
“I didn’t mean for the party to get out of control like that, James and Luke from the club were never meant to show up. I told them not to show up. I… I owed them a lot of money, baby. You told me not to gamble and not to get in with that crowd, and I didn’t listen. For that, I’m sorry.”
Nothing showed on her face. Not hate, not anger, not disgust. What I would give for her to look at me with fire in her eyes at this very second.
“I should have stayed away. I shouldn’t have kept the gambling, and I shouldn’t have told them that I would sell those drugs. The fact that you flushed them only made them angrier… I shouldn’t have told them that. I should have lied and said that I did it all or that I was robbed, or… anything but the truth.”
I was baring my soul to this woman and was getting nowhere. Her emotionless eyes were what hurt the most. I didn’t want to talk to what happened that night anymore, but I needed her to believe me.
“When they grabbed you and threw you in the car, I didn’t know what to do. I froze up and didn’t know what to do. Calling the cops would be useless, and I know it’s selfish, but if I stopped them, they would have just come back for me and do the same. Baby, please forgive me, I’m a coward. I’m nothing without you. I… I need you back in my life, any way that you can handle…” I grabbed her thin fingers and laced mine into them. She didn’t hold my hand back. I silence that emanated from her was driving me crazy. “Julie, please. SAY SOMETHING”
I’ve never been one for violence, but the sheer pain of her not speaking drove me over the edge. I screamed and yelled, and then I pushed her. I’m so ashamed to say that, but I pushed her out of the chair, onto the tile floor. She fell fast and hard with a CRACK.
“OH my God, baby! I’m so sorry… please, I didn’t mean it….”
I threw myself over the chair and onto the floor next to her. I lifted her head into my lap and started to rock her. The six months without her had nearly killed me, but here she was, finally in my arms again.
Dirt and maggots coated the floor around her. The wire they used to reattach her jaw after Luke blew her face off had snapped, but in that moment, I swore she finally smiled at me. This time, I’m never letting her go.
(This is my first time ever posting anything. I know it’s not great, but any constructive criticism would be so appreciated!)