I’ve recently found someone that looks just like me, every feature from my hair to my jawline; actually he looks slightly better. The small imperfectionists that I obsess over, well, he didn’t have. When I first saw him I was left utterly confounded, I have no twin that I know of, no long lost siblings and if I didn’t know any better it could of been my own reflection. I wanted to call out to the man but somehow I had lost him, it was dark; the sun had recently set. I don’t think he was trying to hide from me, in fact, it looked like he could of cared less if he had seen me. It was something about the way he presented himself, his walk, his chin pointed towards the sky; it was clear that he was confident — something I struggled with.
The next day I went back to the same place that I had first seen him, I must of waited for hours but like the day prior he soon showed himself, I once again contemplated the idea of calling out to him but instead I chose to see where he would go; so I followed trying my best not to be seen. Right away I saw he was a bit taller which angered me; I mean the man already had my face did he really need the extra height? I spent most of the night following him; going to places that didn’t seem of much significance, until, he visited her; Amy — my girlfriend. After that I must of followed him every night and like clockwork he would always end up with her, I didn’t know how it was possible or he was, but I knew the answers had something to do with the Grand Central Zoo.
It started off simple, a light hearted question not meant to be taken serious, I asked my girlfriend of 2 years if she would ever cheat on me. Now I know people tend to ask their significant others this exact question and most of the time the responses are quick; a straightforward “of course not”, and that’s exactly how she answered. Her quick response gave me reservation of how much she meant it, like she didn’t really give it any deep thought, it was more instinctual, so I decided to give the question more complexity. I asked if she would cheat on me with her favorite celebrity, she smiled; something that has always melted my heart and then gave me a little shove. I didn’t relent, I waited for an answer and right away I saw her face drop with annoyance.
“Of course not babe” she responded to my delight.
I felt my heart uplift with contentment and we continued our walk through the Grand Central zoo, a place that Amy had been wanting me to take her. I work a lot of hours, my job is a bit demanding, so most times I tend to miss dinner with her. Typically I get home in zombie mode and sit at the couch to decompress for a few hours; playing some of my favorite games. I know that this bothers her and I try to pay as much attention to her as I can, but, when you work 12 hour shifts in some soulless office not thinking when you get home is one of the few pleasures one can have.
So for months Amy had been giving me subtle hints of how much she wanted to come to the zoo, she had always been fascinated with animals, I guess you can say she’s one of those people. Since I’ve met her she‘s had several pets, originally she had a dog one that sadly passed before I could really know the small creature, she then had a kitten who ran away. Even though she loved animals it seemed as if destiny had very different plans for her, since it seemed like she never could hold on to a pet.
Walking through the zoo I could vividly see the wonderment in her eyes as we passed different exhibits, so far her favorite had been the birds, though my enchantment was not as cheerful as hers, since my mind kept lingering on that pestering question; if she would ever cheat on me. As we arrived to the monkey display I thought of another scenario, one that would need more reflection.
“Okay, how about if I cheated first, would you then cheat on me?” as you could guess she didn’t like this one, I could almost see the flames enrage in her eyes, but to my astonishment she still told me no.
This finally left me satisfied as the satiation that was plaguing mind felt indulged and I grabbed her hand interlocking our fingers as a jovial spirit floated me through the rest of the park. This trip was going to be more special, one that we wouldn’t forget, I caressed the side of my pocket making sure the small ring box was still there. I was waiting for the perfect moment before I would pop the question and as we strolled throughout the rest of the zoo I knew I had to finally choose a spot. I stopped by a small tree, the softness of the clouds hovered above, as the sun rained down it’s warm glow, I stared at how beautiful my soon to be wife really was, I adored every part of her and I told myself that I would cut back on the hours to make more time for her.
She saw me squirming as I mentally built up enough courage to get down on one knee and that’s when I saw the animal behind her, apparently we had made it to the sheep exhibit, I saw two identical sheep that I presumed were twins. I don’t know why but seeing those two fluffy animals made me feel uneasy, a sensation I couldn’t quite describe. The small pen where they were kept revealed they’re were more of them, all looking the same. I pointed towards the exhibit telling my girlfriend to take a look, she followed my arm as her gaze directed towards what I was pointing at. She shrugged her shoulders unimpressed, looking back up at me with a smile; I think she had known what I was up to.
“Don’t you think it’s weird they all look the same?” I asked her, still unclear of why I felt so perturbed.
She turned back to look again but this time stared a bit longer, I even saw her narrow her eyes trying to observe as much as she could.
“I don’t know, they’re sheep, they all look the same” she told me unmoved by any emotion.
I’ve seen plenty of sheep before, I use to help at my grandfathers farm when I was kid and yeah for the most part they do look alike, but this was very different. It was clear to me that the sheep were twins or at the very least siblings, in fact they were all similar; they were white with amber colored eyes, they all had the same dark spot on the bridge of their nose, but more bewildering is they all shared the same deformed ear. There was a small piece of their ear missing, like a predator had got at it and tore a chunk off, this was not common and I scratched my head trying to figure out how such an occurrence could be possible. I didn’t have much time to dwell on it as a zoo keeper came and ushered us away, closing the exhibit; which I found odd since it was middle of the day. They were accompanied by men dressed in all black suits, all wearing sunglasses masking their faces to the public, I thought it was weird. They then proceeded to close the entire park; the men dressed in black escorting us and others to the exit.
The whole event left me feeling a bit empty and I completely had forgotten the reason for bringing Amy here, by the time I had remembered we were already exiting the park; leaving me feeling conquered that I didn’t have the chance to do what I set out to do. So I swallowed my despondency and told myself I would find another opportunity to ask her for her hand, I wanted it to be perfect.
As we were driving home, for whatever reason the lingering question of her ever cheating on me peaked it’s awful head back into my mind, this is when I also thought of the sheep and as I mindlessly drove home holding Amy’s hand I decided to combine the two.
“Okay I got another one” I said as I cleared my throat.
Amy rolled her eyes in a playful manner, more seductive than annoyed as she turned to look at me still holding my hand.
“Okay just hear me out, would you ever cheat on me with my look alike” I saw the question had taken her back a bit and for the first time I saw real contemplation form on her face.
“What do you mean?” she asked confused.
The sheep that looked so similar made me think of how it would be if I had twin, would she be attracted to him? Would we be the same in personality to the point that she would have strong emotions for him?
“Okay”, I paused making sure to refine my words as clearly as I could.
“How about if I had a look alike, someone that was practically me, but not me; we looked the same but he was slightly more handsome; more intelligent; more charming. Would you then cheat on me with that version of me?” I felt the words leaving my lips clash into a puddle of mush, jumbled to the point I knew she wouldn’t understand.
To my amazement she consumed the question thoroughly, as I saw her eyes flicker from side to side making up her mind of how to answer. Her silence only unnerved me as I kept swiveling my gaze from the road and then back to her.
“Well?” I asked but this time a bit irritated.
“I’m thinking” she replied back still with a playful tone.
I let go of her hand now angered by her refusal to reject my bizarre scenario, it was one of those moments, the type that make you rethink your logical view of the world; don’t ask questions if you don’t really want the answers. She giggled gathering my hand into hers, reaching over and planting a soft kiss on my cheek; to be honest the gesture uplifted my very soul as I felt all the blood rush to my face, in the moment I wanted to pull the car over and embrace her into my arms. Though, I remained stoic and didn’t give her the satisfaction of her knowing she had such a power over me, instead I continued driving not displaying how beguiled I really was with her; as she settled back into her seat a bit perturbed that I was playing hard ball.
“You’re so dumb” she muttered out, I said nothing but then grabbed her leg and softly shook it indicating to her that we were okay.
The rest of the car ride was driven in silence, the world outside dissipating as the roads opened up and swallowed us alive; it was quick and before we knew it we were home. As we walked into our house I caught a glimpse of a white animal in the corner of my eye, my brain quickly jumped to the conclusion I think most would of; it was that same darn sheep that I had seen earlier. I thought it would be possible that it might have escaped, but followed us home? Now that would of been improbable, it was a good 5 miles away and I walked around to the side of the house were my peripheral first caught it. To my horror I saw nothing, no animal, by this point the sun had set engulfing our tiny neighborhood in pitch darkness and all I saw were fragmented shadows that seem to dance around in the corners of my eye due to the lack of light; I knew my imagination was running away and I headed back into the house.
The next few weeks seemed to dissolve by a slow drip of seconds, the days felt endless while the nights held it’s cold grip much longer than usual; or at least that’s how it felt. I saw on the news that they had closed down the Grand Central Zoo which I found odd; the news reporter went on about animal abuse. I never did get around to asking Amy to marry me, in fact, after that day she seemed to be more distant; less interested in our time together. I cut back on the work hours arriving home earlier to have dinner with her; only to find she had already eaten. She no longer seemed affectionate, more bothered whenever I kissed her forehead; it was obvious; all the signs were there. She hid her phone whenever I would walk by, laugh while staring at the phone screen only to frown when she realized I was staring. I knew it was over, she had found someone else; something that I had always feared.
My initial reaction was to confront her, or worse, confront him; after all he was the main reason for my heartache, but instead I fell into a bit of depression — something Amy could of cared less about. Each day I would go for walks trying to clear my mind, hoping if I just prayed hard enough things would go back to normal. I even thought about leaving the engagement ring I had bought for her out on the night stand, perhaps it would make her think deeper about our relationship; I knew it was a pathetic attempt for attention. I never did, I just continued drifting into oblivion each night as the sun would set and rise.
One night I must of been more lost in my mind than usual, while I was out for one of my walks I found myself back at the Grand Central Zoo, I was at a loss; I didn’t remember walking so far. Regardless, I took it as a sign from the man above, the last piece of acceptance when it came to her; after all the zoo was the last memory I had of us being happy. I walked towards the entrance, the oversized iron gate that guarded the once vibrant world stood firm as heavy chains kept it’s doors tightly shut. I grabbed onto the rails and poked my head inside; an empty void of darkness stared back, the park was a shell of itself. I felt tears slip down my cheeks as I choked on memories of Amy’s smile and that’s when I saw a bit of light in the distance, a bright one — it was coming from within the middle of the park.
I tried narrowing my eyes, slithering my sight between the shroud of dark as I realized I could see some faint movement. Someone was walking through the park, my first thought was of teens breaking in; urban exploring as they call it, but after a few seconds of my eyes adjusting I realized it was the same men dressed in black suits — the ones that escorted us out of the park that final day. I couldn’t explain it, but, I felt very uneasy; like I was witnessing something I shouldn’t be. I stepped back quietly not wanting to be seen, I turned to walk away but then saw someone exiting the park.
The gates swung open with a heavy creak and I swiftly ducked behind several bushes. I stared on with horror as my heart sank into my stomach, I feared it would be one of them; those men dressed in black. Luckily it wasn’t, but my relief was soon washed away when I saw who it was; it was him — the man who wore my face.
When I first realized that he was coming to my house and visiting Amy, I was left heart broken, I didn’t know what to think; she was cheating on me with someone that looked like me; but better. I stared through the window whenever they were together, watching him embrace her only for her to return the affection. This had to be a nightmare, some vivid reality that wasn’t real. I usually would go inside my home once he would leave, she wouldn’t even acknowledge me, I felt disgusted, she was alien to me but I still desired her love. This went on for weeks and I would follow the strange man to other places, he started going to my job — no one seemed to notice the difference. My coworkers oblivious to the ruse that was unfolding before them. The maniac even had dinner with my parents, their jovial laughter’s flung daggers into my heart as I stared in through the window, it was quite evident they enjoyed his company more than mine. This devil was stealing my world, consuming every parcel of my existence; fading me out into desolation.
I didn’t even bothering going home, I slept outside, where ever I could find a spot, I just wanted to hide from the world. I found it easier sleeping outside of the zoo, it was abandoned after all, well other than the men dressed in black. Whatever they would do in the midnight hours was loud of enough to came me awake, I would hear all sorts of dire screams coming from the illuminated space that was located in the middle of the park. Most times it sounded like animals squealing in torment, but then there were the noises that were a lot more familiar; the cries of people in agony. I really didn’t care at what they were up to, hell they probably knew I slept outside the gates, we left each other alone. My mind was all too enthralled with ‘him’, the man that wore my face. I would think about it day and night, always staring in through the window whenever he would have her; my Amy. My hatred boiled to a level I didn’t know existed and I thought of ways on how to rid this monster from my life. I needed him to come to the park, isolate him away from the ones I loved; perhaps he was dangerous and it was only be a matter of time before he did something sinister to them.
I left a note on the porch, one I knew he would read before leaving to my job, I observed from a distance; crouched behind a tree as the devil looked puzzled. Bewildered that I would have the gull to challenge his existence perhaps, he bent over and picked up the small piece paper reading it with such intent, I could see a shattered expression of fear smear itself across his face; my face. He looked around disturbed, somehow I think he knew I was watching, he coward back into the house calling out Amy’s name. In the note I told him to meet me at the zoo, that I knew who he really was; that he was an imposter one designed by those men dressed in all black. I could feel my being uplift with hope, knowing it was only a matter of time before I had her back in my life.
He didn’t come that first night, I waited patiently, hiding in the shadows all too eager to finally confront this beast. I didn’t relent, I left a note every day until his annoyance found it’s tipping point, I remember seeing him crumbling up the small slip of paper with such rage; cursing out to the heavens as I stared on with such elation.
The night was cold, the winter breeze slithered through the rails of the gate that guarded the Grand Central zoo, creating this ominous whistle that echoed throughout the streets of our deserted roads. It was midnight and I waited patiently for the man to come, I giggled with such glee already visualizing the return to my once happy life, talking to my parents, to my coworkers; but more importantly talking to her. I didn’t notice the faint steps at first, the sound was drowned out by my own heart beat as it pumped with such aggression. It wasn’t until I heard him call out to the zoo did it spring my attention to life and I turned to see where he was. He stood in front of the chained gates peering into the darkness, my hands shaking with a heavy yearning but then to my surprise that monster climbed the gate and jumped over to the side I had never been before. I was astonished at the courage he had, maybe it’s because he had never seen the men dressed in black.
I decided to crossover, follow where he went not wanting to lose an inch of his presence. I scuffled around quietly behind him as he aimlessly wandered the parks ground, illuminating his pathway with his phone light. I could see how frightened he was, an expression of trepidation on his face only intensified the further we went in, my own terror irrelevant as my gaze only focused on him. Eventually he saw the lights coming from the middle of the zoo, I saw that it peaked his curiosity and he started his way towards the mystery. I felt anxious but proceeded behind him, jumping out of view any time he picked up on my foot steps; I think he knew I was following. I occasionally glimpsed around waiting for the men in black to tackle me, maybe this was all a trap, perhaps he was well aware of them and was guiding me into an ambush.
We soon found ourselves face to face with the light that shined bright, it was coming from a large tent, one that was located close to the sheep exhibit; where I first saw the identical animals. The man entered the tent and I felt hesitant to follow but I had always been curious myself to know what lay in the middle of the park. I crept close to the opening, gripping at the knife I had stashed in the inner pockets of my coat, wheezing all too heavy. I held my breath and stepped inside, sounds of machine noises chimed all around as a repulsive scent simmered in the air. The monster stood frozen looking down at something, I quietly scuffled towards him as I glanced around seeing strange medical equipment that I had never seen before; empty glass chambers that were large enough to hold a person.
I didn’t see any of the men dressed in black, no one to guard us away, nothing to deter us from here. I visibly could see the man that wore my face trembling with fear, I at first couldn’t see what he was staring at; it looked like a surgical table and it wasn’t until I was behind the man did I look over his shoulder. There was another one of him, or me, there was another man that wore my face laying still on the surgical table, unmoving, it looked dead. It’s presence wasn’t too shocking to me, since the beast standing before me was one of them, a replica and I pulled out my knife ready to kill the monster that had stolen my life.
Before I could stab him, it turned around, presumably to run away but as it stood staring down at me, I saw confusion and terror morph into one single expression. It began to speak with a trembling lip,
“M-m-my face?”
Before it could digest what was happening I stabbed it in the chest, firmly wedging my knife deep into it’s heart as all of my anger seeped out of every pore. I felt a bit of serenity inundate my body as I stood over the dead creature, a smile erupting on my face. I then heard faint breathing coming from behind me, someone was watching. I turned around and there they were, the men dressed in all black; wearing sunglasses, staring at me. Now at this range I realized something was all too familiar about them, they slowly took off their glasses revealing themselves to me and that’s when I realized who they were, why they never attacked me before. The men that were dressed in black all wore my face, they all looked like me; but different. I didn’t know what to think, or what to do, I ran through them and headed towards the exit. I don’t know why they didn’t pursue me, maybe because I’m the real me, the source to all of their existence.
I never returned home, I’m pretty sure another one that wore my face took over, I only hope Amy is happy. Her smile still haunts my dreams, but I’m too much of a coward to go back, I don’t know what they would do to me. So I beaver away in solitude, away from any major cities hoping to live out the rest of my days in peace. Though, several thoughts keep me up late at night, as I stare out my tent gazing at the stars, questions that perhaps should never be answered. Did she know it wasn’t me? Did she purposely cheat on me with my look alike? Even more dire, one that really pricks at my soul, the look it had when first seeing me, I question if I’m the original or maybe it was him?