Craig. Craig was one of those fellas that just had you scratching your head in wonder. How in tarnation did he even get those pants on? It must have been like trying to stuff a sausage back into its casing. No matter how hard you try, the darn thing’d just keep slipping right out.
But on that fateful day, Craig was chowing down on his “elevenses,” as he liked to call them. And let me tell you, it was quite the spectacle. The man opened up a whole pack of Jaffa cakes and just started shoving them into his maw like this was it, the last confectionary box in the damn universe. It was like watching some kind of twisted pastry porn. If you close your eyes, I’m sure you can almost hear the moist, slurping sound he made as each cake disappeared down his slippery gullet.
And then, just when you thought there was no way it couldn’t get any worse, Craig started gagging. Honestly, it was like watching some kind of fetish performance, with the man making a sloppy, wet sound as he pushed that last cake down his throat with his fingers. And then, oh, then he sealed his lips around his whole fist and pulled it out, giving the end a big, smacking kiss.
Now, I’m not one to judge, but this here display was enough to make a man lose his lunch. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, “Craig, you are a damn sight, my friend. A regular howdy-doody!” I declared, unable to contain my mirth any longer.
Craig, being the good sport that he was, just laughed along with me. “I’m a real card, ain’t I?” he said, giving me a big grin. And then, just when I thought things couldn’t get any more ridiculous, Craig started fellating his fist and arm.
I couldn’t help but shout out to the rest of the office, “Everyone come and take a gander at Craig, he’s lost his marbles!” And sure enough, a few of my co-workers came over to see the spectacle. We all just stood there, agog, as Craig danced and gyrated and made all sorts of ungodly sounds with his mouth full of fist.
Before long, we were all tossing dollar bills at him, egging him on like he was some kind of freak show performer. “Come on Craig, give us a show! Big Craigy’s doing us a special dance!” I hollered, unable to contain my excitement.
But then, all of a sudden, things took a dark turn. Craig started chewing on himself. Gnawing away at his own arm like a ravenous beast. And that’s when we all realised that something was seriously wrong.
“Hold your horses, Craig! Playtime’s over!” someone shouted, but Craig just kept going, the sound of his gnashing teeth echoing through the office.
The room was filled with a chorus of gasps and shrieks as Craig continued his horrific feast, his eyes rolling back in his head as he bit down on his own flesh. The once lively and jovial atmosphere had turned into a scene of pure terror, with panicked people stampeding towards the exits. I, however, remained frozen, unable to look away from the grizzly spectacle before me.
The sound of Craig’s teeth gnashing against his bones filled my ears, each crunch sending a shiver down my spine. The blood was flowing freely from his arm, soaking into his shirt and splattering on the floor, like a geyser. But still Craig kept dancing, twirling around with a manic look in his eyes, the stump of his arm still jutting out from his side.
I noticed the office workers around me, their faces twisted in terror as they tried to escape the chaos. Some were crying and others were shouting for help, but the sound of Craig’s munching was the only thing that could be heard. The smell of iron and salt filled my nostrils as the coppery tang of blood overwhelmed my senses. I felt a surge of bile rising in my throat but I swallowed it back down, determined to not let Craig’s madness consume me as well.
As I looked back at Craig, I saw that his eyes had turned glassy and his breathing was laboured. He was still twitching, still writhing on the floor, but his movements were becoming less and less coordinated. I knew that he was slipping away from the world, but I couldn’t help feeling a sense of horror at the thought of him dying like this. He was my friend, and I couldn’t bear to see him suffer in this manner.
In that moment, I felt a surge of anger and frustration at the situation. How could this have happened to Craig? How could he have lost control like this?
I tried to make sense of what had just happened. How could Craig, who had always been so full of life and energy, suddenly be reduced to this?
I thought about his odd behaviour, the way he had been rapaciously devouring those Jaffa Cakes, and the way he had started gagging and sucking on his fist. Had he been possessed? Was this some kind of dark, supernatural force at work?
My mind was racing as I watched Craig’s breathing grow shallow, the life slowly draining from his body. I was filled with a sense of horror and terror, unable to process the events that had just unfolded before my eyes. It was a ghastly, horrific sight. He’d fallen on the ground now, unable to continue, and I was compelled to go to him, to comfort him.
I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes as I held Craig in my arms. He had always been larger than life, but now he was just a shell of the man I had known. I couldn’t help but think about all the times we had laughed and joked together, all the times we had stayed up late into the night discussing life and all its mysteries.
I remembered the day we met. I had been working late at the office, trying to finish a project that was due the next day. Craig walked in, drenched to the bone, looking for a place to hide from the rain. We got to talking and hit it off right away. He was a character, to be sure, and I was drawn to his quick wit and infectious laughter.
We spent the rest of the night talking and drinking coffee, both of us too wired to even think about sleeping. It was like we were both meant to meet that night, two lost souls who had finally found someone to share our lives with.
And now here we were, with Craig’s life slipping away from him, and me feeling more alone than I ever had before. I couldn’t help but think about all the things we would never get to do together. We had talked about traveling the world, trying new foods, and experiencing all the different cultures that life had to offer.
But now, it was all over. The sun had set on Craig’s life, and I was left with nothing but the memories of our time together.
I stayed with Craig’s body until the paramedics arrived. They took him away and I was left alone in the office, surrounded by the remnants of our laughter and the echoes of our conversations. I sat there for a long time, just staring out the window, watching the sun sink lower in the sky.
I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not just some random, senseless act of violence. There was something deeper, something more sinister at play here. And as I sat there, lost in my thoughts and fears, I couldn’t help but wonder what other horrors might be lurking just beneath the surface of our everyday lives.
Finally, I got up, feeling like I had lost a big part of myself. I knew that Craig would never be forgotten, and that his memory would live on in me forever. I grabbed my coat and headed out into the night, feeling like I was walking into the unknown.
And so, I am left with this final thought - that the world is a mysterious and unpredictable place, filled with terrors that we may never truly understand. The sudden and inexplicable transformation of Craig from a jovial friend to a man consumed by an unspeakable madness, will haunt me for the rest of my days. And as I sit here, walking through the darkness, I can’t help but wonder what other horrors are lurking just beyond our reach, waiting for the moment to reveal themselves.