Spider Man, easily the most iconic character in all of pop culture. A couple days ago I met the real spider man.
Allow me to set the stage. It was spring break during my junior year of high school. Unlike all of the other kids my age who went down to Fort Lauderdale and got cheated on, me and my friends were traveling to a forest in Australia for a bit of camping.
When we touched down in Sydney, we took a rental car to the park we were to stay at. As we trekked the wooded hills outside of Sydney, I took in the beautiful lakes and streams that flowed through the valleys. It’s honestly a bit suspicious how a place so magnificent and so close to civilization gets so little traffic.
When we got to the main gate, the doorman gave us the main pamphlet with violently shaking hands and a petrified look on his face.
We drove another good 20 minutes before stopping on a campground that overlooked a lake. Whenever camp was set up, the sun was beginning to dip below the mountains behind the lake.
My friend: Tom, asked me to hand him the pamphlet so he could read what was in the park. As I handed it to him, the paper fell out of the lamination. When I bent down to pick up the paper, I noticed something odd. There was a small note inside the laminate. This is what it read:
Guide for Campsite: 2099
Rule #1: do not explore leave the campground after dark, especially on the lakeside.
Rule #2: by no circumstances should you ever step within 30 meters(100 feet) of the cave by the river.
Rule #3: put out any campfire by 10pm
Rule 4: bring all belongings inside your tent before 11pm.
Rule #5: no matter the noises you hear outside the tent, PLEASE. DONT. ACKNOWLEDGE. THEM.
Rule 6: no amount of bug spray will save you
I thought nothing of it and played it off as a joke meant to scare some stupid teens.
Whenever night fell, we all sat around the tent and shared stories. That’s until I felt a small movement on my forearm. I turned it to see a small white spider scuttling along my forearm. I subsequently crushed it and thought nothing more.
I checked the time and saw that it was 10:07. Shit, we better put out the fire just in case. Me and Tom began to gather our belongings when I looked down off the cliff and saw an obscure white figure standing outside the caves entrance. I motioned to tell Tom about my sighting but when we looked back it was gone. Nevertheless, we hurried back to our tents and peaced out for the night.
I attempted to fall asleep until I heard loud, quick, and sporadic movements outside the tent. The moonlight perfectly illuminated the surrounding area so I could see countless moving shadows around the tent. I tried to follow rule 5 until I saw 4 bug insect legs lean against the tent. And they were big fucking legs, must have been the size of a chicken wing. Tom and Ben both look at each other in absolute fear.
Our shock was abruptly ended whenever we heard booming footsteps approaching our campsite and fast. We saw the shadow of a human stand before our tent. At the worst possible fucking moment, Tom audibly gasped. That was enough of an excuse for our tent to be ripped apart by the creatures around our tent. As we all stood up in shock, we could see that the creatures around our tent were spiders, and big motherfucking spiders. Somewhere the size of my hand, others the size of a quarter, and even a few the size of a small dog. They all surrounded us, hundreds of eyes locked on all 3 of us as they prepared to indulge in a midnight snack.
But suddenly they all started backing up a bit and formed an opening to the circle they created. We could hear rumbling footsteps coming from the area they opened a path to. I looked down and saw on the laminate.
Rule #7: if you see the ‘Spider Man’ start praying.
Crap, we all knew what was coming. I looked as the moonlight illuminated the beats before us. Unlike Peter Parker, this spider man was a massive humanoid, it looked to be around 9 feet tall. It had pure white skin, massive rows of teeth, 8 blood red eyes, an insanely muscular physique, and 4 spider-leg like appendages sticking. out from its back.
It looked at us and growled a hideous tone. We all looked at each other and came to the consensus that we had to get the fuck out of there. Me, Tom, and Ben leaped over the wall of spiders behind us and booked it as fast as we could run through the massive forest. All I could hear was booking footsteps and eerie scuttling of millions of spider limbs. As we found a hiking trail, we turned a corner to find the Spider Man waiting for us. Me and Tom managed to turn the other way in time but Ben wasn’t as fortunate as he was impaled by the Spider Man was his head was bitten clean off his body. The arachnids continued to chase us through the woods until Tom was violently flung backwards from an unknown force. I looked back and saw that the Spider Man made a lasso out of thread and reeled in Tom. I watched as the thousands of spiders ate Tom alive. I managed to get back to the parking lot and was able to start the car. I began to drive back but the Spider Man leapt out of the woods and picked up my car and chucked it back into the forest.
I’m lucky enough that I could get out as hundreds if the little pricks invaded my car through the AC. As the Spider Man kept on pursuing me, I made my way back to the same cliff from earlier. The Spider Man and his army of crawlers surrounded me as my only option was a leap of faith down a 50 meter drop into a lake.
My options were limited so I went with the ladder. I managed to jump right before he punched a hole through my chest. As I fell, I barely struck deep water that I could survive in. I couldn’t say the same for Spider Man. He jumped too shallow and smashed his body along the lakeside rocks. All I could recall before passing out was him not moving in a puddle of blue blood.
The next morning, a rescue team came to pick me up and send me home. I’m currently writing this on the flight home back to that states. And as I’m putting the pen down, I saw a small white spider crawl across my finger.