The sound of tires crunching on gravel stops me in my tracks.
I feel like a rabbit caught in the headlights, prey about to be hunted.
I pause, trying unsuccessfully to control my rapid breathing.
I’ve got the shovel in one hand, sweat dripping down my forehead, staining the t-shirt that now damply stuck to my skin.
Headlights beam through the dense bushes, for now I’m still hidden, but I know that if I’m not quick, my time will be up.
I contemplate leaving, but I know it’s an impossible wish.
The holes nearly been dug, and what would I do with your body?
I try again to calm my breathing, remembering that yoga you tried to teach me, but it doesn’t work and not for the first time, I wish you were here so badly it makes my bones ache.
After a moment I’m back digging, feeling stronger, determined.
I made you a promise.
I was going to keep it.
Stars litter the night sky by the time I’m done, and I squint at them, pretend I’m a kid again for a moment, pretend that I’m seeing a rocket shoot by, heading to the moon.
I make a wish on it, a wish that I know won’t come true.
I’d gently placed the locket I’d given you for our wedding anniversary around your neck, the faded piece of paper I wrote our wedding vows on all those years ago, folded and tucked into the pocket of your jeans, just in case..just in case things don’t work out how we hoped.. well I want you to know you’ve always been so loved.
There are no flowers nearby, it’s barren, desolate and it has been for such a while now. I wondered, briefly, about what the point was when you were still here and now.. Without you, it’s been so, incredibly lonely.
I want to remain at your graveside, lay here until I also perish, or worse, although I do have one bullet left in my gun for the latter.
One bullet each, for if, and only if, the worst happened.. And for you.. My god, I’m so sorry, the worst really nearly did.
Oh, had I been tempted to use it, as well, put an end to this misery.. But I know you would want me to go on. You were always the strongest of us two, and that’s why I continue to fight this battle in your honor.
Now, I am left alone, without you, in this horrible new reality of our world.
It’s cold, dark, empty.
No one believed me when I said the zombie apocalypse was coming.
Not even you.
I tried to make you understand.. You said I needed to take my meds.
I had to help you, before it was too late. I couldn’t stand the idea of you being bitten, and changing.. Turning into something awful, unfamiliar.
I hope you know, I did what I had to do, to save you from this..
I’m not scared of whatever is next.
I’ve got my last resort, after all.
And truth be told, I can’t wait to see you again, my love.
So for now, I wait.
Bring on the zombies. Bring them on.