I don’t sleep at night. Well, I sleep until about 3 am, then I wake up. For whatever reason, it makes me feel better to wake up to something. I live alone, which only bothers me from the hours of 3 am to 5 am.
I started Stranger Things because I knew I wouldn’t care if I missed it. You can’t do that with things like Breaking Bad or It’s Always Sunny, as you end up caring about what you missed. And I’m so sad right now I can’t add extra things to be sad about, especially not dumb TV shows.
Stranger Things is great to fall asleep to, as it has few loud, boisterous moments (save for the end of each season). However, there are a few episodes that end with odd credits. And eventually, this odd credit sequence caused problems for me.
Maybe I’m a total weirdo, but I wake up when sounds stop. I can listen to the loudest, wildest soundscapes while sleeping. Like my comfort movies are Saving Private Ryan and Mad Max: Fury Road. But when sound ceases to exist? I sit straight up in bed, dripping with sweat.
That’s why choosing the thing you’re going to sleep to is so important. You need consistent noise with limited volume spikes. If you’re looking for a soft experience, true crime stuff is great, until they play a 911 phone call and a woman starts screaming.
So, one night, I wake up to Stranger Things. Season 3, Episode 8. Because suddenly, the cacophony of pre-teen voices and hip 80s soundtrack just gives out during the credits. And complete silence descends.
Instead of just automatically playing the new season, this episode plays all the credits. I mean, all the credits. Like, I know the name of the second key grip’s stepson. Once the English credits are complete, the credits re-play but in different languages. A lot of languages. I’m not very worldly, but it seems to cover all the big ones.
When it happened, the sound of absolute silence roused me out of a deep sleep. Of course, I look at the TV. And instead of seeing a placid menu screen, I see blood red credits against a black background. They just keep going. Page after page. A veritable list of credits. Eventually I get tired of it and reach for the remote. I try to skip to the next episode. But it won’t let me.
I navigate to the app menu. But nothing happens.
I exit to the home page. But the screen is frozen.
I turn off the TV from the main remote. The living room is plunged into darkness. The only sound is my heart beating in my ears. I realize how unaccustomed I am to total silence. I fill up my time with noise constantly, to drown out my thoughts. Now, in the middle of the night, when I least want it, it’s dead silent.
I turn on the TV again. The credit sequence is still there. I decide I will wait.
It wants me to finish the credits.
I’ll see what happens.
Text is replaced by symbols. Things I’ve never seeen. Things that make my temኛples throb. The space behind my eyes squirms. Text FLAⰳSHES AGAრINST MY VኛISION. I AM TRANSኛFIXED. I CANრNOT DENfY YලOU. I WILL DO YኛOUR BIDDING. I WILL BE YOUრR SLAVE.
Who tf said that?
Silence. Black screen. Darkness. The power goes out a lot here.
I sit tensely in my living room. Dead silence. I notice the lights glowing outside. A neighbor’s house is all lit uppp. Warmth and happiness exude from it. I look to the TV. It’s my lifeline.
The credits end. A new season begins. I sigh, relieved. Tears spring to my eyes. It was all just a glitch. Everything is fine.
“Everything is alrighhht,” I say to myself. Then I hear the growling. Long and low. I look over my shoulder.
People don’t know, but there’s a secret Stranger Things episode. Season 4.0, episode ∞. A place where nothing hurts. Where teeth don’t gnaw, and pain isn’t everlasting. A place where everything isn’t red all the time.