“FIve wishes? I thought there were three!”
“You are offered the divine and omnipotent powers of the universe, and you’re complaining that you get more than you expected?”
“Is there a catch?”
“Do the actions of a vagrant from times of yore affect todays future?”
“Um, maybe”
“The answer is yes, just never in a way you’d expect.”
I sat there, looking at the vaporous man, an eager smile on his face, like a predator. “Is there a time limit?”
“Our contract is bound until all wishes are spent, or death.”
The thoughts rushed my mind, riches, power, world peace, but how can I get it safely? “Alright, I’ve decided my first wish.” His eyes flared with excitement. I continued on. “I wish for complete lasting financial security that is non-corrupt and will not cause me physical harm.” With a snap of his fingers he just said “As you have wished it, so it will be done.” The next three days I spent constantly checking my bank account, wondering what could be taking the wish so long until finally. I received a phone call. “Hello, may I speak to a Marie Evans?”
“Speaking.”
“Yes, I am sorry to inform you that both of your brothers have died in an accident. We would have notified you earlier but the dental records were the only way we could identify the bodies.”
Oh god. What happened to them?
“Thank you for notifying me.”
Everything was a blur, I didn’t understand what was happening until the right puzzle piece finally fell into place. The last will and testaments of my late brothers. To make things short, I now had enough money to make sure my grandchildren were filthy rich.
“This wasn’t the part of the deal! Why did you kill them?”
“You asked for complete, lasting financial security, that isn’t corrupt, and did not physically harm you. I fulfilled the wish within your boundaries.”
“What kind of bullshit reason is that?”
“Have you read a single story regarding Djinn?”
“Fuck.”
The rest of the evening was spent thinking about my next wish. I was stuck with this thing until I died, or spent the wishes. My immediate thought was to rapid-fire the next four, but then I realized how badly that could backfire. Then a genius idea struck me. “I’ve decided upon my second wish!” The djinn appeared in front of me expectantly. “Yes?”
“I wish that you were bound by the same three laws as of those written by Isaac Asimov”
With another snap he spoke the words. “It is done.” Then strangely, he left through my front door. Several minutes later the mystical being brought in a man by his neck, and just to spite me, ripped his head right off just to drop both pieces of the man onto the floor. “You see, you almost got me there with that one, however you may have forgotten that the three laws can be heavily distorted. The ending of one life is almost guaranteed to save another in the long run as long as you pick the right person, and this guy? Wow! He’s got a hell of a violent streak. Well, he did.” I couldn’t help but stand there in utter shock. I stared at the dead body until it started violently convulsing and I had to jump back as I screamed. “OH JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD WHY IS HE MOVING?!?!”
“Oh yea they just kinda do that when you violently sever the brain from the rest of the body while it’s still alive, pretty funny right?”
“GET IT OUT OF MY APARTMENT”
“It’s gonna cost you a wish.”
“Why would it cost a wish? You’re the one that brought it here in the first place!”
“Any use of my abilities supernatural otherwise, constitute the cost of a wish. Its basically in the rule book kid.”
“A rule book would be really useful honestly. Can I have one?”
“No.”
“Can I wish for one?”
“No.”
“Well fuck you.”
“That’ll cost a wish too missy.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed my aching temples. “Okay fine, I wish you would please remove the dead body along with its respective head from my domicile.”
He smiled, didn’t even bother snapping his fingers this time. He just picked up the body and head, then proceeded to walk down my hallway. When I looked after where he had gone, I saw that he’d walked several apartments down, and kicked down the door to my neighbors apartment. He tossed in both pieces, but not before shouting “Merry Christmas!” and dramatically disappearing into a plume of dark green mist. The screaming had started long before he even spoke. “You know what? Good enough.”
“I’m so excited to see what’s next! What is it that you desire? Life everlasting? Genius level intellect? Maybe I should grant you the power to bend the will of the mortals around you?”
“Why is it always so gruesome with you?”
“Because it’s funny.”
“Murder?”
“I’m twenty seven thousand years old, I get bored.”
The more time I spent of ways thinking to outsmart him, the more I realized how much it would all backfire. “So I decided on my fourth wish.”
“Wonderful! What is it”
“I wish for you to bring back the people you’ve killed.”
A look of genuine shock took to his face, for about a second until it was replaced with a wicked grin. “Party time.” Was all he said before he snapped his fingers. The air changed. The earth shook, and the program on my tv was replaced by an emergency broadcast. “Please no.” Were the words that escaped my lips before I looked over at the screen to confirm my suspicions.
The woman from the screen spoke “That’s right, hundreds, if not thousands of bodies from around the world are rising from their graves-”
“How many people did you kill?”
“I genuinely have no idea, I’ve made a lot of contracts.”
“Did I just cause the apocalypse?”
“Little bit yeah.”
“Is there any fixing this?”
“Not really. I mean there’s a couple ways but you already know those don’t have pretty endings.”
All I could do was stand there and watch, I saw the screen display massive armies of the undead, of course by now I know we can’t have anything nice so all of them were maliciously attacking any living person in sight. The anchor kept talking but the words became a buzz. Eventually the words slipped out of my mouth. “I wish I never made that stupid contract.” I didn’t say them on purpose, I didn’t even mean to think out loud, it just happened. The sound of a snap broke through the haze and I was violently catapulted back to the moment I found the trinket that summoned this demon. I may be cursed with the memory, but at least that’s all he stuck me with. Don’t mess with the supernatural, it’s way more trouble than it’s worth.