I still can’t get the song out of my head, the medications they keep bringing me won’t stop it, sleep doesn’t stop it, right now we are doing a group activity to write and express what brings us in here, it does not have to be perfect, but it should help us reflect on our problems and find ways to solve them. I’m just afraid that writing down my problems won’t solve anything, I don’t think anything we do here will fix any of my problems.
About six months ago I went to bed as I normally do, I went to bed after taking a shower, no snacks, meals, not even a drink. I fell asleep in probably about thirty minutes and dreamt I was cleaning and old room and getting everything ready to move into. I soon got a phone call from a bright red phone that looked like it was made from some very cheap plastic. I picked it up and the song “Sweet Caroline” began to play softly in the background as I heard a woman’s voice calmly say “her name was Caroline” and she went quiet and I asked back “what?” and the woman grew louder “HER NAME WAS CAROLINE!” and the phone hung up. I woke up and decided to sleep again after a few minutes to gather my thoughts. I was in the same room, but this time I walked out and stayed away and explored the rest of my dream, but after a typical dream experience, I walked through a door and back into the room. The phone began to ring like it did before. I picked it up heading the same voice and song “her name was Caroline. HER NAME WAS CAROLINE!” and then the dial tone once more as she hung up.
My wife saw how tired I still felt even after sleeping in early and waking up later. “Baby, are you ok?” she asked me as I looked at her with dead eyes. “Yes babe, just had some weird dreams. After work I’ll get some better sleep.” I then went to work exhausted. Afterwards I came back home and washed up, spent some time with my wife, and then went off to bed. I was back in the same room and that song was playing as if through a speaker, and the phone began to ring. I was hesitant to pick it up, but still did so automatically. “HER NAME WAS CAROLINE” it screamed as I felt her warm breath through the phone. I quickly made my way through the door and did what I could to wake up. I decided to just run in front of a car and woke up, oddly enough with a bloody nose.
This is when I decided to start buying caffeine pills, energy drinks, and anything that I felt would help me stay awake. This is where I made my biggest mistake. After a few days, I began to see shadows walking around and my anxiety began to skyrocket. I would take naps to help stave off the shadowy predators, but nothing could prepare me for the next problem, I kept checking my phone seeing missed calls and one voicemail. “HER NAME WAS CAROLINE” that same voice yelled as that stupid song would play. I tried showing my wife, but the voicemail would be deleted somehow. I don’t know what is happening or how this dream demon manages to do these things, but I am losing my mind.
After another month I would hear the song play repeatedly and my phone began to ring every minute. I had to break my phone, but she would just call my wife. My wife wouldn’t even hear it, but I could! I threw her phone off of our floor and shattered it. This is where she drew the line. She called EMS to come and get me to help take me to a hospital. The sounds of the song was so loud, it was like nails on a chalkboard. I saw a shadow run towards me and I took off even as my wife called for me to come back. I was trapped in a room as the shadow got closer. As she got close to me the paramedics came and soon I woke up in a bed here. I don’t know what happened, but the doctors had to help me with torn ligaments around my wrists and ankles, they found dark bruises around my neck, the best explanation they could find was that it may have been from my delusions. I know I am not delusional and I know if I leave, she will kill me.
Last night I could see her more clearly through the window of the door and my anxiety began to rise. I apologize to everyone here for my yelling, but when I felt her nails on my skin through the reflection, I began to realize I am slowly becoming less safe even here. I know I am not insane, but I do belong here because even if my safety is dwindling, it is still safer here than on my own. I want to apologize to my wife for all the problems I have been causing because of this haunting spirit. I pray that I may see you again free of this evil spirit, but I believe this may be the last statement I will make. To all my loved ones, I love you and I hope I can see all of you again.