I don’t think there is a word in any language to describe the amount of dread that haunts me lately. I sincerely wish I were just insane. I pray for someone to convince me that everything I’ve been experiencing is just the result of emotional trauma, or mental illness, or even a tumor. As morbid as that sounds, it’s absolutely accurate. And of course it all had to come to fruition when I finally started to get my shit together. I started to believe that I could actually hope for a decent future. Truthfully, however, I don’t think there is hope for any of us.
I’m now a college student, it doesn’t matter where, or what my major was, all of that is down the drain anyways. Many people have had rough upbringings, it’s a universal truth, so by no means does it make me special to say that mine wasn’t any different. Pops was m.i.a, he left before I was even able to retain a definitive memory of him. All I had was my mother to raise me, which isn’t saying much. There were the numerous attempts at some sort of “father figure”, none of whom were exactly of any positive influence, and none of whom stuck around long.
As any rebellious teenager does in these circumstances I lashed out, started drinking, constantly fighting, doing and selling drugs. This eventually landed me in juvie until I was 18. It took me a while to adjust afterwards, especially being that I had no other option except for to move in with my mom. After a few years and a few mishaps I finally had a steady job, and enrolled in some classes at the nearby community college. Mom actually started to better herself too. I was trying to turn things around despite the odds, but it all crumbled.
I woke in a cold sweat one morning, my alarm hadn’t gone off, but it felt like something had awoken me. I felt uneasy as I got dressed and stepped out into the living room. To my surprise I saw my mom standing with her back to me. She was almost never up this early. She one hand on her face. She seemed to be crying. The other hand held her phone to her ear. I stopped momentarily to listen to the conversation.
” How? When?” She said in a shaky voice. I couldn’t hear any of the response on the other side. “Mom?” I said. “ What’s going on? “ She seemed startled for a moment.
“I’ll call you back.” She said quietly, ending the call. “ Nothing son. Just a problem at work. “ I eyed her skeptically. “Are you sure you’re ok?” I asked. She nodded without turning around. We’d never really shared our feelings with one another, so I just decided to let it go. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off as I got ready for work, and I’d find out later that day on my way home that nothing would ever be the same again.
The eerie vibe of the day never dissipated. On my way home I was listening to the radio when my ears started ringing. At first it was subtle, but as I continued it got increasingly worse. Eventually it got so bad that it was all I could hear. Scared that something was wrong, I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway, turning the car off. I vigorously dug my fingers into my ears as it grew even louder. My eardrums started burning. Then out of nowhere it stopped. I waited for several moments, before finally regaining my composure, and I once again turned the key.
As soon as the car came to life, I was immediately met with what could only describe as distorted screaming blaring from the speakers. Just as suddenly I felt something I’d never felt before. My skin… It started to burn as if I was engulfed in flames. My face felt as it was being melted. I screamed. I started writhing in my seat, pulling at my clothes. I struggled to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. In my frantic movements I opened the overhead mirror. What i saw was utterly horrifying… The skin on my face was being melted, I could see glistening meat and exposed bone where my face was essentially degloving itself.
Somehow, even through my agony, I noticed something. The face in the mirror was absolutely still, not matching my movements. Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore I heard a loud rap on the window. It stopped. The burning, the sounds, everything stopped as sudden as it started. I looked to my left and there stood a police officer, he signalled for me to roll my window down, and so I did.
“Sir, is everything ok?” He asked. It took a moment to find my voice. Finally I answered. “Yeah everything is fine, my car is just acting up.” He gave me a concerned look, but after I was finally able to convince him that I was fine he sent me on my way. The whole ride home I frequently checked my reflection, still a bit shaken. When I arrived home I walked in to find my mother on the couch. Her eyes were red and puffy as if she’d been crying.
She immediately seemed to stiffen up as I approached her. “Mom, what’s going on.” I asked. She just shook her head, trying to gain her composure . “Really nothing son, just tired.” I’d never seen her like this, but although I could sense she was lying, I didn’t press the issue. I had trouble sleeping that night, the images of my melted reflection plagued my thoughts, but eventually I drifted off.
It seemed as though I’d only just fallen asleep when I was awoken by an ear piercing scream that sounded like it was right in my ear. I practically leapt out of bed scrambling down the hall. Finding no trace of anyone. “Mom.” I thought. I ran to her room. She was sleeping, a bottle of vodka beside her and the tv still on. I breathed a sigh of relief .
I wasn’t able to get back to sleep, I was exhausted by the time I started getting ready for my 10 o’clock class. Mom was still sleeping as I left the house. I had trouble focusing in class, I was tired, and distracted by the events from the day before. I was absent mindedly listening to the teacher as I once again heard the ringing in my ears. “Oh shit.” I whispered under my breath. It increased in volume until it was all I could hear. I jumped up, running out of the room and into the restroom.
” Not again. “ I thought, splashing water on my face. I dug my fingers in my ears until it finally stopped. I stood at the sink trying to catch my breath. I lifted my gaze to the mirror, at first everything was normal, until I felt a dull pain in my right shoulder. I stared at myself in the mirror and went to rub my shoulder as the pain increased. That’s when I noticed, once again, my reflection wasn’t following my movements. I watched as my reflection raised both arms. Then I noticed my other shoulder started to hurt.
My face in the reflection seemed more terrified than I was. The pain increased tremendously. My reflection shut his eyes and started screaming. As the unbelievable pain increased I saw the arms pop as they were dislocated, I could audibly hear them crack. I started to scream as I felt the pop. The eyes in my reflection were rolled back as the skin started to tear at the shoulders. What i saw next took the situation to a whole different level of fucked.
From behind my reflection I saw the face of something abominable, it had no skin on its face, no lips, no nose, and no eyelids, only glistening muscle. It’s skin was a sickly grey, the head was unnaturally elongated, it’s eyes were completely white, and it’s teeth were jagged and sharp. It had a wide grin on its inhuman face. Then I noticed the thing’s long bony fingers were wrapped around the arms in my reflection. I watched as the arms were torn away by something, and I felt every bit of it. The pain was so unbearable that I must have passed out.
I came to on the floor of the bathroom, surrounded by a few students and a teacher. I sat up as the teacher placed a wet napkin on my forehead. “Are you alright, so you need an ambulance.” Without saying a word I jumped up and ran out of the restroom. Needless to say, I had no intention of stickin around.
My thoughts were scattered. I had no idea what was going on with me. I started to believe that maybe I was going insane. I had never felt so utterly lost. When I arrived home I was practically zombified. Once again I saw my mom sitting on the couch, her eyes were red just like the day before. She was on the phone with someone, and just like the day before she ended the call almost immediately. She tried to dry her eyes, avoiding my gaze until she saw my face.
She studied my expression with concern. “Are you ok son?” She asked with a shaky voice. “ What’s wrong? “ I started to say something but just shook my head walking away. “You can talk to me son.” She followed after me. “ I’m fine mom, long day. “ I laid in bed until the exhaustion of the day caught up with me, and I drifted into unconsciousness.
My eyes snapped open, I immediately knew something was wrong. I was no longer in my room, in fact I was no longer in my house. I realized I couldn’t move my arms or legs. It seemed as though I was tied to a chair with some sort of chain-like gag fastened to it so that I couldn’t move my head either. Whatever room I was in was pitch black. I started to scream. The metal in my mouth made it hard to even breathe.
I kept struggling against my restraints and trying to scream until I heard something behind me. It sounded like a metal door. I stayed quiet as I heard something approach me. It’s inhuman breathing sounded… Excited. The chair started to move. As it was turned around I realized I was in a wheelchair of sorts. Through the open door I saw a dimly lit hallway. Whatever was behind me pushed me towards the door. The hallway started out as a dark stone corridor with torches lit along the walls.
I don’t know how long I’d been pushed before I noticed the walls were changing.ee3 There were patches of what looked like flesh sticking to them. Peering down I could see puddles of dark liquid on the floor that resembled blood. I began to sob as i continued on against my will. The further down the corridor we got, the more skin I saw on the walls until eventually they were covered entirely in human flesh.
We approached a doorway at the end, at first I could only see the red glow of torches that lit the room. As I was wheeled through the doorway I found myself in a torch-lit dungeon. As I was turned to my left I was met with something that made my blood turn cold. A man was shackled in chains, dangling by both arms. The chains were connected to some kind of contraption with cranks on either end. Two grotesque creatures held the levers in anticipation. Both of their faces were identical to the one I’d seen in my reflection.
The man was soaked from head to toe in something. I started to tremble uncontrollably, trying to scream despite the metal gagging me. Then the man lifted his head. I didn’t think the situation could get any more horrifying until I recognized his face… It was me. The man that was hanging from chains by his arms was identical to me. Just as he opened his mouth to say something his eyes moved, gazing at something behind me.
To my left something stepped forward, it was tall, covered in a black hood. It was carrying a torch. As the creature approached him he stopped and slowly turned to face me. It’s eyes were small and black with two small slits where his nose was. It’s mouth was a gaping maw with too many teeth, and it’s jaw was split at the chin, both sides moving as it gave me what seemed to be a grin.
I couldn’t muster the effort to make a sound. I sat silently as creature suddenly turned and put the torch to the man that looked exactly like me. He was immediately engulfed in flames. We both screamed in agony, because once again I could feel everything as I watched his face melt. The other two creatures began to turn the cranks, and again, I watched as his arms… My arms were slowly ripped from the torso as we were being seared alive, blood began to spew. There was nothing I could do. I couldn’t tell you how much time passed but it seemed like an eternity as I watched, and felt everything. Somewhere in my subconscious mind I felt as if I deserved this.
I was awoken by my mom’s voice. I jumped out of bed screaming louder than I’d ever screamed in my life. I was drenched in sweat, and it seemed like I’d pissed myself. She ran over to me and hugged me. “Son it’s ok. Shhh. It’s ok.” She said, in her best comforting tone.
“I don’t know what’s going on with me.” I said as I began to calm down. After a few minutes I was able to tell her what i’d been experiencing over the last few days. Her expression went from concerned to horrified.
“Son… I have to tell you something.” I looked at her curiously. She was quiet for several moments before speaking. “You have a brother.” I stared at her confused. “ What? You’re fucking with me right? “ She shook her head solemnly. “You were born with a twin brother.” I stared at her incredulously. She then proceeded to tell me the entire story, effectively turning my world upside down. My mother gave birth to twins, unfortunately, she and my father grew to hate eachother. Being as they weren’t married, and neither of them wanted a custody battle, my father moved across country with my twin brother. For some reason they thought it best to keep it secret, as they wanted nothing to do with one another.
The phone call she had gotten the other day was from my father, giving her the bad news. My twin brother had died trying to stop a robbery. He was shot in the chest and was dead before the ambulance even arrived. The information was too much to handle. I was too shocked to even be pissed, but it was then that it all clicked.
Have you ever heard of twin telepathy? People who are born twins all around the world swear they can feel the other’s pain, whether it be from a paper cut, or a broken limb, or even a bad breakup. What I’ve come to realize is that it can extend beyond death. I can feel the pain of my twin brother being tortured in hell. I’ve felt it every day since, especially in my dreams.
The most disturbing part of this is what i learned at the funeral. Everyone there was so adamant about what a great guy my brother was, how many lives he’s touched in his short time here. So many people. He died loved and cherished by everyone that attended his funeral. They say that there is a good twin and a bad twin. It’s obvious which is which. So if he’s subject to that level of torture, I can’t imagine what’s in store for me.