“That was really fucked up, you know that right?” Jason sat across from me sitting backwards on my desk chair. “I mean like objectively, all things aside that was a fucked up thing to do.” I closed my eyes and willed him to stop talking. He didn’t. He hadn’t since he had turned up last night.
“If you are trying to get an apology then fine, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did but you aren’t the martyr you think you are.” Jason stood up from the chair, I turned and focused all my energy on watching the seat swivel back and forth.
“But you took it to a whole new level. I thought we were partners. I thought that we would share everything 50/50 that was the agreement. I mean shit Nancy, since we were kids everything has always been 50/50 and now you decide you want to go in on things for yourself? It’s like I don’t even know you.” He was trying to hurt me, cut at my core. He always brought up our history when he really wanted to get at me deep.
“Please, like you wouldn’t have done the same thing in my place.” I threw back at him. I could hear the venom in my voice. I tried to take calming breaths like. I would not let the anger control me. Besides, the sooner I made peace with Jason the sooner he would go away, at least I hoped. I was making assumptions of course but what else could I do?
I felt the weight of his body settle on the end of my bed. “Where did it go wrong?” He asked. We had had this conversation a million times since last night. I sighed. I had answered him already in a roundabout way. I never really gave the exact reasoning. Sugar coating here, some white lies there. I was trying to shield him from the truth. Although at this point I had decided that he must already know the full story which was why we kept replaying this conversation. It was like some sort of backwards interrogation method. I decided that this time would be the final confession.
“Alright, fine.” I sat up and locked onto his bloodshot eyes. His skin was drained of color and the hollows of his cheeks and under eyes were more pronounced than ever although after what had happened last night I wasn’t surprised. “There was never going to be 50/50 anything, Jay. Truthfully only one of us was getting out of that place and I made the decision.”
“Who said you get to be making that choice? Who are you to say who wins and who loses?”
“I did what I had to do.”
“You were playing God.”
“You still believe in one?”
Jason’s body stiffened and I watched as his gaunt face grew darker. “I would never have done this to you.” He said coldly.
“Maybe. Maybe not. I was the one who found the book. I was the one who translated the texts. Maybe if you hadn’t gone off to stick your dick in anything that would let you, you would have figured it out first.”
“There it is!” He said triumphantly, “There’s the real reason. Nancy, you are just a jealous bitch. You couldn’t handle the fact that I was actually getting laid, that I was out there enjoying my college experience while you were stuck in this shitty apartment worried about that stupid scholarship.”
“You’re kidding me, right? Did I give you a head injury last night too? You think because I wasn’t out there partying and being the poster child for the free STD clinic on 2nd Street that that’s why I did what I did? You think it was all because I was so worried about my scholarship? Fuck you, Jason. You didn’t get it then and you don’t get it now.”
He stood up anger shaking his frame “So then tell me! Tell me what I don’t get”
“You don’t get it because you had a life! You always got everything you wanted, always! I have had to claw and scratch for everything I have ever had and you have this blessed life and you are so far up your own ass you can’t see that. You are just abusing it. You aren’t living, Jason, you are just pissing away your potential and your opportunities. Meanwhile, I have to work my ass off to just survive. So yeah maybe I am jealous, maybe I decided it was my turn to have the good life.”
He stared at me cooly before sitting down again. His body radiating an iciness that penetrated my bones.
“It doesn’t matter now, anyways. I’m dead aren’t I?” It was the first time either one of us acknowledged what had happened. It was true. When I had finally translated the text and realized what I had to do I told Jason that if we performed the ritual we would each get what we truly wanted.We’d split the gifts 50/50. I had hidden the knife in my backpack and lured him out into the woods. I had spiked his drink to make him easier to take down. I had slashed the knife across his throat. It wasn’t a split second choice, it was planned out, and had been for months.
“There was never going to be any splitting, was there? No wishes granted?”
“No,” I sighed. “The ritual said that if I could sacrifice a life I would get the life that I take.”
“So you chose me. You wanted-want my life?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” There was a pregnant pause; only the sound of my breathing could be heard.
“Well, I guess that seals the deal then.” Jason slapped his hands on his knees and stood up. The wound of his neck pulsating as fresh dark blood started to pour over his throat and chest.
“What are you talking about?” I asked fear creeping into my voice. Jason laughed in a garbled way as the blood flowed faster from the gash, his brilliant white teeth slowly staining red.
“You know for a smart girl like yourself you are not one for fine print.” My heart nearly exploded in my chest and fresh bile raised to meet my tongue.
“I don’t understand.” I said. The soft sloshing sound of blood pooling over his lips filled the room.
“That’s exactly the problem, Nance. Being dead does grant some greater understanding. You know I was really hoping we would have some big heart-to-heart moment. Maybe I could forgive you. But to be honest I don’t think I can. Honestly, after all that shit you said, I don’t think I want to. It is true that you get the life you take but it must be given willingly. And I’m not sure about you but drugging me and luring me out into the woods in the middle of the night to slit my throat doesn’t scream mutual agreement, does it?” I gagged as the fresh coppery scent of blood filled the room. The only sound was my own heart roaring in my ears and the soft plip, plip, plip of Jason’s blood splattering against the floor.
“But wait, I didn’t tell you the best part! Because you stole my life I get to decide your punishment.” I could feel tears stinging at my eyes. I tried to blink them away but one escaped falling down my cheek. Jason made a tisk tisk sound before wiping the tear away.
“Look at that. One more than you shed for me.”
“If you’re going to kill me,” I said suddenly finding my strength, “then just get it over with.”
Jason shook his head. “No, Nancy. I’m not going to kill you. See? Even in death I’m still the better person. No, I think I’ll let you live but with the life I plan to give you? Maybe you won’t want to.” My body was shaking with a mixture of fear, rage, and disappointment. DIsappointment that I didn’t understand the text, disappointment that I let myself become so engulfed with jealousy I didn’t think of the repercussions.
“If you think you had to scratch and claw before,” Jason said in my own voice, “Then you are going to have to gauge and rip now. I curse you, Nancy. I curse that you may always go hungry, always go cold, always scrunge and save for money that will never amount to anything. I curse you to live the life you always thought you had and I curse you to watch the life you thought you would get in killing me play out for everyone else around you.” Jason laughed a horrible throaty laugh as more and more blood gushed from his wound. His eyes glazed over and the walls shook with his booming laughter.
The foundation of the room began to collapse in on itself. The candle on my desk tipped over onto a stack of notes setting them alight instantly. The flames traveled across my desk and onto the floor onto the stack of laundered shirts. The flames licked at the walls which had begun to crumple in large chunks as the plaster hit the floor in large powdery claps. I ran for the door as Jason’s laughter became louder and louder.
The fire had consumed the whole building by the time the fire department arrived, all they could really do was spray down the ashes and try to eliminate any embers that might remain. Everything I owned which wasn’t much had disappeared into the smoke that still clung to the cloudless sky above me. I watched as the fireman dispersed and their trucks disappeared into the night. I stood alone in the ruins of what once was my home and with a sickening feeling in my gut I knew Jason’s curse was only beginning.