Hello, people! Or redditors, as is, as far as I could tell, the term? If anyone happens to read this, I want you to know that I am so grateful that this exists. Seriously. I am so grateful. I have spent the majority of last night just reading your stories here and… wow. I kept blurting out a “same” to many of them, but I must admit that a good chunk, I think, were made up? Just very far fetched and very out of topic. Well, that is how it felt to me, anyway. You see, this had me asking myself. I mean, one must wonder, should sharing a burden, a pain, be a remedy to ease the one you’re carrying yourself? Breaking your arm and somebody saying “oh, please don’t be sad, some have had it MUCH worse than you.”. Why is that? Why should that bring me any sort of solace or comfort? Why am I supposed to feel good that others are experiencing my pain or greater pains. Sounds like bullshit logic to me just now.
Yet here I am, and I kept reading your stories all the same. You people here, I tell you. You people are the people I have been looking for all my life, nosleepers (I think this sounds better, redditors just sounds so odd). Worry not, this little post here is just to let you know that I care. And I too pain. And I too know the pain. But I, I can make it all go away. This nevrosis is not a malady, but a state of mind, I tell you. Pain is not external stimuli experienced internally, but how your mind perceives them. We suffer more in the mind, and, to hell with it all, mainly in our minds than we actually suffer. If pain starts from the mind, well then, as is the case with cancer, right? Locate the infected area and try to get rid of it. Ergo!
Right. I will be brief, redditors, or nosleepers. No. People. You, me, we are all people here. We do not need these flairs. Saw some used it on their posts. No, no need to enhance it all. People. You hear me? We are people all the same. Back to my point now…
Reddit has shit user confidentiality and data protection. Frankly? Most sites do, and even if you use a VPN or a dynamic IP, it would really make no difference to a trained computer engineer. I took the liberty to gather a list of all of you, and I have, more or less, an area of main activity from each of you. Where I reside matters not, but there are like over 60 of you around me on a 10 mile radius. And that’s just at a glance. What I am trying to convey here is you needn’t worry. No longer will we share a burden, for there will be no burden to share when our soul transcends this body. I do not sleep, and neither do you. Know that I am coming. I am coming for each of you. The mind. The mind, as I was saying. You locate the cancer and get rid of it. I get rid of the mind and I will cure you all. Simple. No more nosleep, no more insomnia. No more of nothing. Solace. I am coming. Thank you, Internet, for enlightening the path to a community that struggles the same struggle, but I do not wish to feel better because I relate to someone’s pain. For once, I will work on being the healer. In the meantime, simply do what you have been doing, knowing that this will soon end. There is something after this. I know it. You know it. We will know it. It matters not if you visit this daily. Rest assured that I know each and every one of you. Wait for me.
P.S. I live in America, I will be taking care of America first. Also, I considered going for the moderators first, so as to assure no more people are allowed to join until I cleanse the ones already joined. Please post comments with your suggestions.
P.P.S. Do not bother asking to join or to aid me. There is no need. Just wait, patiently, and rest assured that I am coming. You could not provide me any help, for only the stars of the cosmos could help a visionary such as myself.