Our story starts with happy newlyweds walking down the aisle of a chapel. The bridesmaids entered, cutting celeries. She put elderberry poison and they ate it. They wanted to be assassins and serial killers. Then, the knife was thrown. The bride was stabbed in the aorta. Blood soaked her wedding gown as she pulled a gun. Then, she pulled the trigger and shot him right in the waist. The bridesmaid sliced him carefully. Their spirits went to heaven to get reincarnated.
Their spirits awakened in the womb of a 27-year-old woman. (It takes two spirits to make a single baby.) Somehow, he felt the urge to KILL. But he could do nothing about it. He was just seven months old, and he would be born into the world two months later. One month later, she went for an ultrasound. The baby climbed down and snatched the ultrasound device. “Dr. Schultz, where’s my device?”, she asked. Dr. Schultz looked at the ultrasound readings. There was a brain, but that was the entire reading. It moved and the woman heard ripping.
She had awful pain. “You seem to have a piece of skin ripped off.”, said Dr. Schultz. A tiny bloody hand came and killed the doctor. The woman gave birth using the Caesarean method.
In the middle of the night, she heard a disembodied voice. “HE IS A KILLER. HE IS A KILLER. YOU ARE DYING.”, it said. Suddenly, she was pierced in half by a knife. His dad came and screamed in terror. “THE BABY HAS KILLED YOUR WIFE.”, the disembodied voice said. “YOU ARE DYING.”. He was dead in a couple of seconds. The baby climbed up to the roof and jumped into a car. In his first year, he killed 1,021 people.
”The baby is murdering people. WE MUST PUT HIM IN JUVY!”, said the policemen. They put the baby in juvy, but he KILLED ALL THE GUARDS and escaped. He’s 32, and he’s wanted. If you ever see a man with red hair, brown eyebrows, a wedding gown, and may is armed with a knife with blood, you must contact the POLICE IMMEDIATELY. Or else he will kill you. He is roaming everywhere, but the police says IT IS IN YOUR AREA! Go down to your basement to protect yourself.
P.S. An extra “filler” story. The house that the “baby killer” lived in his first years was reported to be haunted since 1956. For example, the radio is always set to the Crying Radio Man cassette tape before it was broadcasted on A RADIO STATION. Six-fingered prints appear randomly, and one computer had messages from “thy Governor of Time Control Commission”. Here’s a spooky and very terrifying fact: the wedding gown on the baby killer’s head was the same wedding gown from the newlyweds that were killed. How did he find it? He went to the abandoned and haunted chapel and got the rotten wedding gown. Besides, it was never worn in 32-33 years. An old lady (one of the bridesmaids) sat on a rocking chair. He got a rusty, old knife and sliced her head. She was decapitated. “One small step for killers, one giant step for victims“, he said reportedly. Now, back to the house. People who lived there heard disembodied young girls saying “Can you help me?”. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a WARNING to stay away from the BABY KILLER. He is in your area right now. So hide in the basement and PLAY DEAD and pour raspberry juice all over you to look like you murdered yourself.
P.P.S. I interviewed each character, even the Baby Killer but after he gave the information he tried to kill me so I am on the run.