Darkness ate away at my sanity as the ages passed. I slowly lost what I was at my core. Who am I? I asked myself this question over and over and over, until it drove me crazy. I couldn’t remember, or maybe there never was anything to remember. All I knew was I had to wait, and for what? I had forgotten that too.
The only thing that was certain was that I craved. I deeply desired happiness, sadness, pain, and every stimulation that life could offer. I craved an existence that wasn’t an abysmal nothingness, because to me existing wasn’t merely enough on its own, there must be fuel to the fire of living and putting out that flame meant absolute depravity. There is no worse torture than aimlessly wandering your own mind in a blank daze, cursed to an endless solitude.
The darkness was deafeningly silent, albeit for a few noises, reminding me there was more than my own consciousness. A trickle of liquid dripping from above me, oh so slow but ever persistent. Drip, drop, drip, drop, that’s all I heard day in and day out. There were the outliers too, every once in a long while I’d hear something topple on the floor. A quiet gasping for air, and the eventual grinding of nails dragging across steel. It was their turn, just like mine would come. That was the only hope I had, one I patiently waited for.
And eventually, after what felt like eons of waiting in isolation, my time finally came. It was my turn on the ride of life and I fully planned on making the most out of it. I wouldn’t be another name forgotten, another body thrown to the wayside on the conquest of desire. I will make a difference, unlike any of those who came before me and will come after. I will be special, I will be unique, I will be different.
The shackles that bound me to the wall finally crumbled to dust and ash. Thick tubes connected to my back in multiple places all popped off in sync, gushing nutrient liquids all over the floor before coming to a sputtering stop. My limp body fell to the ground with a meaty slap, the wrinkled and aged skin pressed against the dirty wet floor. I tried to stand up but after being held in place for so long, it would take time to gain control of my body again. But there were still things to do, even if I couldn’t move, like figuring out where I was.
I still couldn’t see anything even when I tried opening my eyes, and after feeling around my head, I finally realized why. A heavy metal chassis was mounted on my skull, acting as a steel visor over my eyes. I slipped my fingers under it and slowly pried it off, strings of wet skin tissue sticking onto its underside as I threw it to the ground with a loud clatter. Pulling my crusty eyelids open, the sight before me shocking.
Hundreds of people hung up in the same fashion as I did. In rows they covered the walls, top to bottom. Some dangled from the ceiling, hung up by hooks through their shoulders. A faint dripping of blood coming from their feet was still the only noise, no voices calling out for help. All of them were dressed in the same white jumpsuit as I was, vague numbers inscribed on their chest. Looking past the strung up souls around me, I spotted a hole in the far wall, barely big enough to fit through, and like that I had found my way forward.
I mustered the strength I had left and forced my noodle arms to move. Inch by inch they dragged me across the floor, past the hanging corpses. I wanted to feel pity for them, to feel anything when I looked at their decrepit bodies, but I felt nothing. Even if I wanted to help them, I wouldn’t have the strength to break the metal bindings. It wasn’t their time and when it was, they would look upon me with equal neglect just like those before me did. Now it was my time, for what though? I was still left wondering.
When I finally reached the hole in the wall, I barely had enough energy to put myself on my feet, albeit with the assistance of the wall. My knees shook and my body screamed to be hung up again, to not struggle anymore. But that’s the desire of a weak body, now even my own flesh disgusted me. No matter the pain I would go through on my journey, it was better than the nothing I felt on that god-forsaken wall.
Pushing myself through the gap in the wall, I toppled out on the other side.
Climbing to my feet again, I carefully checked my surroundings. The walls made of thick steel were claustrophobic, barely shoulder width, and barely enough for one person to walk through standing straight up. It was pitch black entirely, with only a distant red light far down the tunnel somewhat within sight. The distance stretched for what seemed like forever, the end was really far away, and I was going to make it there.
Like that, I began to walk, to stretch my old legs out. Nothing would deter me now, because for the first time in forever, I felt alive. Something told me deep down that I’d find my purpose too, and if I don’t like it, then I’ll make my own.
The only company I had was the slapping of my bare feet on cold steel and a gnawing hunger in my stomach. My footsteps echoed throughout the tunnel with every step I took.
I walked for what felt like hours, days, weeks, years, the passage of time was lost on me as I tirelessly pushed forward. I hadn’t realized until now how hungry I really was, I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten, I needed something to fill that void.
Finally making it to the red overhead lights, the tunnel had color to it. I basked in its crimson glow, staring straight up at its beautiful hue. It wasn’t until I heard another pair of footsteps, that I snapped out of my waking delusions.
I was even more ecstatic at the prospect of another being, someone to share this grueling experience with. Except the footsteps weren’t coming from behind me, they came from the front. Whoever it was, was heading my direction. Was there a dead end? Was this pointless? I’d have my answers soon enough, when I came face to face with the person behind the footsteps.
And come face to face we did, only there was no man facing me, but instead a monster. As it stepped out of the darkness and into the red light, it made my entire body shiver. Covered in pure red flesh and tendons, it looked like it had been turned inside out by something even worse. It had two heads mounted atop its body with three arms, the extra appendage smaller than the other two, and protruding from its chest directly outward, curling up.
The creature reacted as soon as I saw it. The arms began to swing wildly around it, banging on the walls and leaving behind a thin film of red slime. One head lurched forwards while the other fell backwards, both let out ear curdling screams and wails while alternating front to back. It was going wild, perhaps happy like me to see another being after God knows how long, or maybe it was angry to see a prisoner free from its shackles. Either way, coming across this thing wasn’t good for me.
I calmed my breathing and put my hands up in a threatening manner, holding my silence as it slowly creeped closer, filling the tight hallway with its raspy bellows and violent thrashing. Moments before contact, it stopped its wild movement in what looked like confusion. Maybe it expected me to run, to cower, or to fall to my knees and grovel. Except I did none of those, I was prepared to fight.
The stalemate came to an end as I pushed off my back foot and lunged at the creature. Planting my feet and grabbing the protruding arm, I yanked it with all of my might. My hands sunk and were enveloped in the meat, surprisingly squishy and malleable to the touch. The monster fell forwards onto the cold floor with a mighty flop, blood and tissue squirting out from its body. Its two side arms began swinging wildly again, bending in unnatural ways trying to reach me. It suddenly began to scream, except this time they were cries of pain and fear.
It left residual meat chunks on the walls, slowly breaking apart as it went into a fury. I took no mercy on the creature as I planted my bare feet on one of its heads, pinning it to the floor as its arms both wrapped around my leg. I wasn’t put off by the warm meaty feel of its hands digging deep into my flesh. I welcomed the feeling, it was something new.
The hallway echoed the sound of squashing flesh and bone under my feet, the once intact skull now just chunks of viscera and white skull fragments splattered all around my foot and wall. It was easier than I thought it would be, almost as if its skull and bones were made of clay. The second head bit at my ankle, its soft toothless gums suckling on my leg in place of teeth.
The struggle between us was something I had never felt before, and a feeling I could enjoy. It wasn’t the adrenaline pumping through me, or the pain radiating from my leg, it was the feeling of being alive.
I reached down and grabbed its arms, shaking the mouth off as I moved to stand on top of its body. Holding both appendages, I pulled and pulled at them until I began to hear flesh tearing from its socket. The wailing of pain became sobbing, as I slowly picked the beast apart like a morbidly curious child that found a dead squirrel in the woods. Hanging on by a few loose tendons, the arms finally came off with a satisfying pop, a sickly sweet smile spread across my face as I moved off of its torso. Throwing the arms unceremoniously back onto the beast’s body, I leaned down and raised the last remaining head. Disgusted with its visage of a man, I slammed it into the floor, then raised it and did it again, and again, and again until the noises it made stopped. It’s distorted face now just a couple holes resembling what could be distantly called a person. It was pathetic. The once tall and loud creature now just a lump of warm meat paste on the ground.
My stomach growled as I looked upon the mess of flesh, two voices came from inside of me as I blankly stared. The voice of reason was overpowered by the one of hunger, it gnawed at me like ants picking apart the corpse of a rabbit. I had to eat, I had to feast, there was no denying that. Kneeling down, I scooped up a big chunk of flesh from its body. The warm meat wriggled in my hands, thick red blood ran rampant as I squeezed it tightly. Slowly, I brought it to my mouth and popped it in, like a kid tasting candy on halloween. And just like that child who caught a taste they like, I gorged myself on the corpse. Bite after bite, I tore into it like a rabid animal.
By the time I had regained my senses, my hands, chest, and hair were all dyed a dark red. Except I wasn’t disgusted with myself, I was proud. It was a mark that I was real, I did something that showed I wanted to live, to have control.
Looking past the mess I made, the overhead red lights sputtered off and ended, this time there was no light at the end of the tunnel like before. Nonetheless, I was undeterred. I walked past the half consumed pile on the floor and continued my journey deeper into the face of the darkness.
The red lights turned to darkness and the darkness turned into an abyss. I almost lost myself in it again, but unlike the wall I was chained to, I was making progress. I was heading towards my purpose, my ultimate goal whatever it may be. But mindlessly walking, lost in thought and delusions, I had failed to feel the hole in the floor.
I tumbled down, flipping every which way as I banged my way down the tight tube. When I made it to the bottom, a pile of sanguine meat broke my fall. I sunk a few inches in, bouncing back gently, like a warm trampoline. Looking around, the entire room was far wider than the tunnel, although smaller than the room I began in. Wall to wall it was covered in beating flesh, veins and arteries pumping blood throughout the living room. The pile I landed on, moved rhythmically as if it was a massive heart. Climbing to my feet, I peered down at the floor.
Tens of creatures similar to the one from before mindlessly mingled around the open floor. Except they were all different from each other in small ways. Some had one head, others none, and some more than five. The same applied to their limbs and body shape. They all vaguely resembled a normal human, but as if someone had haphazardly attached body parts with Play-do like a sick science experiment.
I stayed silent as I observed them bumping into each other as they moved around. When one would touch another, they would start to fuse together by the connecting piece. Arms would brush past each other and link together, only separating when one would pull itself away from the other, sending some loose chunks flying that would fall and become a part of the floor. It was like they didn’t want to merge, as if they preferred their individuality to being a part of a bigger whole. I was both morbidly curious and horrified by the sight, but overall, it excited me. There was more to this steel labyrinth than just the steel hell and I planned on seeing it all.
Out of all the creatures, one stood the tallest. It was more of a sphere with no head, four legs and three almost tentacle-like arms. The entirety of its body was a massive circular mouth, stretching end to end with sharp teeth protruding around the edges. The rest of them shuffled away from it when it came near, perhaps in fear of being swallowed whole by its looming presence.
At the far end of the room, a small doorway led to a faint glow, the only way out by my account. I had to have a plan, brute forcing my way through the crowd wasn’t really an option. Luckily I had the element of surprise in my hands.
After some thought, I came up with what seemed to be the best option, and I had hoped it would work. I waited for the biggest one to be on the opposite side of the room from me, close to the doorway.
Sliding down the heart hill, I snuck up behind one of the humanoid sized beasts without any head and hid behind it. I firmly placed my hands on its back, and with a mighty push, I launched it into another one. It violently landed directly on another and began to fuse with the second one, their bodies partly merging into an even more freakish being. And just as I had hoped, the two halves began to fight each other for control. They went on a rampage, pushing into other’s that would in turn add to a chaotic snowball effect quickly enveloping the room. The largest one quickly noticed and began to storm over, threatening the new mess of body parts with a bellowing roar. The battle cry sounded like tens of voices were all calling out at once, shaking the room slightly. The ones who weren’t involved scurried to the corners in fear, and when it was just the collection of battling bodies and the bigger one in the center, they were about to begin a clash of souls and bodies. The larger one had wrapped its tentacles around the cacophony of heads, arms, and legs. Squeezing it tightly, it picked it up and began to try and stuff it into its mouth.
However, under a larger threat than each other, the once conflicting minds came together under the prospect of being consumed by something greater. They completely fused together, throwing away their individuality in favor of survival. The tens of arms began to grip onto the bigger one’s flesh, pulling chunks out at a time and tossing them aside. The mess of legs began kicking violently and the heads bit at the tentacles holding it. I was almost taken aback at the duel I had caused, but now wasn’t the time for sight seeing.
Taking my chance to make a run for it, I quickly dashed across the edges of the room and towards the door. If I was fast enough, I could squeeze by before their battle was over. But I wasn’t that lucky, not at all. One of the smaller things saw me and reached out, grabbing my ankle with a terrifying force and sending me face first into the fleshy floor. Quickly I flipped onto my back, trying to see what grabbed me, and by God, I wish I hadn’t. It didn’t have arms, or a face. There was no neck, no arms attached to it, just a slender body with legs and a massive hand mounted on top. It was as if all the nutrients in its body went directly towards the hand.
I could feel its warm mass climbing on top of me, wiggling like a worm as it moved up my body. I held my breath as other smaller ones started to make their way to me, all of them desperate for a piece of the pie that was my body. It felt as if time was in slow motion as they made they way over..
But this wasn’t it for me, it couldn’t be. I was meant for more than just being another body in the pile, I still had to find my purpose for being here, for existing. I waited for the hand to let go of my ankle as it tried to reach for my head, and spun my body to fling it off of me. Its small body mass worked in my favor as it flew and landed on a few of the beasts clamoring towards me, immediately they began their own feud and quickly forgot about me.
Standing back up, I checked on the battle going on in the center of the room. It wasn’t working in my favor at all, the original mouth monster had almost entirely eaten the newly formed one, an outcome I had seen coming but not this soon. I dashed to the exit again, watching closely as it finished consuming, growing larger and less mobile, it was sedentary. The main body mass was now just an indistinguishable mountain of flesh. The tentacles were no longer a part of it, instead it developed thousands of tiny deep pours all over it. It needed time to consolidate its new spoils of war, since after all it almost doubled its mass in one go. It was a monster of my creation.
Reaching the meaty exit in the wall, I turned to give it one last look, one I regret deeply. The mound of flesh had developed eyes in place of the holes, oh so many eyes stared directly at me, unblinking and unflinching. Hundreds of them stared at me and watched my movements as I slinked through the dimly lit pocket. But before I lost sight of it, I could’ve sworn it was inching towards me.
Moving deeper, I was faced with another passage of similar proportions to the one before. The main difference this time was that instead of steel walls, it was replaced with the same meat walls as the last room. A faint red light shown through it, enough to guide the way but also expose the pulsating veins in its fillings. And most confusing, it wasn’t a straight line like before, but took turns and twists as it went. It was what I could only assume to be a living labyrinth.
Nonetheless, I still moved forward, determined to reach whatever end there may be and embrace whatever awaited me there.
The network was fairly easy to navigate, It split at times and choosing precaution, I followed the left side until It led me to a dead end, then I back tracked and tried again. The wet slapping of my feet on the warm floor making a squishy sound every step of the way. A faint heartbeat just far enough to be audible kept a metronome-like beat, and every once in a while I swore I could hear scurrying like the tapping of tiny feet and sometimes just in my peripheral vision I swear I could see eyes in the walls for just a moment.
Sometimes, I would come across other rooms full of inside out freaks, always different from each other with different hierarchies, usually with a large heart sack somewhere in them. Mostly they consisted mostly of small creatures, no larger than a toddler with a few man sized leaders that kept territories from each other. And, sometimes they were bigger in size and ferociousness.
In one camber, a hulking beast leaned hunched over on its two forearms alone, facing away from me. It’s back was almost entirely covered in thick bone and vertebrae, with small lines of red meat seeping through the edges. It slowly turned to face my direction, swinging its massive arms as it rotated, using them to pivot itself. They were pillars of shambling flesh with hanging tendons and ligaments. Before it could turn to face me, I slinked back further into the tunnels, not taking the chance of being seen. The deeper I went, the louder the distant heartbeat became.
Another room had two larger sized ones fighting, neither comparable to the one I made in the first room or the one before but the winner was sure to be. The one dominating was on all fours, a protruding dog-like mouth mounted on its head was wrapped around the torso of the other fighter. The second was violently thrashing its seven arms lining its body in a circle all around, although due to the lack of a head or mouth, it didn’t scream for help or in pain. It just wriggled and fought desperately for its life. The only noise coming from the two was slapping of meat on meat and bones snapping under the pressure of the bite.
While exploring these halls and chambers, and watching these struggles for survival, I think I finally learned what life was about down here. The triumph of one soul over another. If I hadn’t acted the way I had, those things would’ve killed me, or even worse. It was my life or theirs and I’d rather be the hammer than nail. I am better than the other dregs that walked these halls, and I aimed on proving that undeniably. That was my purpose. To be better than the rest, to be the one on top of the mountain of corpses. The king of the hill
Every time I backtracked, I heard the scurrying sound grow louder each time. It was as if something was following me, slowly gaining on my trail the more I made wrong turns. I tried not to think of it much, the idea terrifying to ponder for long. Nonetheless, I had to hurry.
Turn after turn, I was nearing my limit. My body ached, my feet were sore, my head pounded, and my arms were heavy. Worst of all, I had come to a final dead end. The road stopped at a pulsating wall, thumping to the tune of the now very loud heartbeat. Staring blankly at it, I let my mind wander in thought. How could it all end here? I was infuriated, seething with anger. Raising my fist, I put all my might into one punch directly in the center.
Unexpectedly, it did nothing, only causing the flesh to ripple for a second before returning to its original shape. I raised my other fist and slammed it against the wall, and again, and again. It was fruitless but anger often clouds reason.
As I weakly pounded at it, my lips parted slightly. “Please…” I said slowly in a raspy and dry voice. “Pleaseee…” I waited for another breath as I slammed my fists again. “Opeennn…” I desperately cried out, my voice cracking a little.
And as if of a miracle, the flesh parted under my hands as light poured through and led to another final chamber. Completely shocked, I stood there a moment and collected my thoughts again before walking through the brightly lit passageway. It closed behind me as I stepped out and was staggered by the light.
I quickly fell to my knees, blinded by an intense sanguine luminescence of magnificent beauty, rubbing my eyes as they tried to adjust. A beautiful voice spoke out to me in an androgynous tone. The sound of the heartbeat was completely dispelled by the voice.
“So you’ve finally come knocking on our door, We’re quite pleased to see you.” It said with an elegant yet warm attitude, making me feel welcomed and loved.
My eyes slowly adjusting, I began to see a large shape in front of me, desperately trying to see the angel speaking to me.
“We’ve been watching you and you’ve done quite well so far, enough to earn your way into our sanctum. We wish to reward you.”
My spirits perked up, incredibly thankful for salvation, my journey’s end. Finally having my eyes adjusted enough to see, I wished to gaze onto my savior, opening my mouth to say my thanks.
Except no noise came out, I layed there motionless on my knees with my mouth gaping. Whatever this was, it was no savior, it was a monster.
A massive glass cylinder tank was stationed in the middle of the comparatively small room, filled with a translucent red liquid. It was littered with differently shaped brains. They all floated up and down the length of the tude, small black devices sprinkled over all of them.
Above them, a large heart pulsated at a rhythmic tune, shining brilliantly and illuminating the room. The dots on the brains lit up with blue lights to sync with their words.
“You have questions, and we will answer them, just like the rest before you. It is important you understand before we move forward.”
I snapped out of my thousand yard stare, and croaked out a response after some silence.
“Who…Am…I?”
The words lingered in the air, perhaps while they thought, considering the audacity of the question.
“Who you were before all this isn’t important, why you are here is the better question.” They established a superior attitude.
“You were part of an experiment, a lab rat in a greater pursuit. We aimed to create the perfect being here, the ultimate weapon, a living God. The Think Tank was established to help achieve this goal. We did what we must and you have seen the repercussions of that decision from long ago.”
Their words seeped into the most innermost parts of my brain, imprinting on it like a brand.
“We found the simplest way of achieving our dreams was to let nature do the work for us. Natural selection is a powerful force, survival of the fittest creates better monsters than we ever could, and we know you’ve seen it too. All we did was accelerate the process a bit. You will understand in time, just like we did before you.”
I pushed myself up on my feet, fixing my posture and looking directly at the tank with clenched fists.
“Most don’t make it as far as you do, normally the white rats end up feeding the cycle and add fresh blood to the process. Except for some persevered, those with brave hearts, quick minds, and steadfast determination make it to us. Just like you have.”
I finally spoke up and interrupted them.
“So what? What is my fate now?”
The brains went silent again, making every second last as I waited for my answer.
“Our offer is for you to join us. Give up your mortal body like we did before you in exchange for immortality, help in our conquest, join the hive mind and be one with something greater than yourself. That is your reward.”
I considered it for a moment, they offered a sense of companionship and security, no more fearing for death or life. Leaning my head back, I mustered all the saliva I had and spat directly on the tank.
“No.”
I shouted at them in my loudest voice possible,
“I’d rather die than sell my soul! Even though I know no name, and bear no history or past, I’m still more human than any of you! I am a man, and you are a monster.”
Furious, the brains began to vibrate and flashed deep red lights instead of light blue. They bellowed in a deep voice, loud enough to shake the room.
“So be it. You have made your choice.”
Tentacles sprouted from the fleshy ground and coiled their way around my legs, holding me in place as more came down from the ceiling to hold my arms. I tried with all my might to fight their grip, but it was hopeless. I could feel their strength start to squeeze my bones as they suspended me in the air.
“It is a shame. You were very promising but after all a rat is a rat. Your corpse will make a good test subject. That is your purpose as this is ours.” They spoke in a more booming voice. The heart pumped even faster, the light shining brighter and brighter.
This was it, there was no way out this time. The tentacles began to pull in opposite directions, threatening to tear off all four limbs at once. The pain came in heavy waves, my skin coming apart at the sockets.
However, a smile slowly crossed my face, as I closed my eyes and embraced the situation. I’d rather die like this than live as a bodiless dog, forever committing atrocities in the name of good, the agonizing pain washing over me is better than any life they would offer. I was at peace with my death. I was happy.
Except right at that moment, in my time of bliss, a loud explosion shook the room and caused the tentacles to lose their grip and recede. I came spiraling towards the ground, slamming into the wet meat hard. The sound of scurrying feet filled the room, completely surrounding me as I opened my eyes to the source of the explosion and very quickly I found it.
Bursting out from the now exposed doorway, the gargantuan body of a millipede was funneling its way out and into the chamber. Its back was tightly covered in white bone plating, thousands of legs carried its body as it encircled the room. It came to a stop and raised its massive head, exposing its two main mandibles sticking out the front. Its entire underbody was covered in rows of mouths and teeth, letting out a powerful shriek as it rested on its lower half.
“No, no, no, NO! NOT THIS SOON!” They bellowed in furious anger.
The Think Tank was in a state of chaos, the brains wildly shooting up and down the interior, perhaps trying to think of a solution to the new threat. The creature however didn’t give them time. Completely ignoring my presence, It slithered onto the tank, digging its sharp feet into the glass as it began to encircle the entire circumference. I watched as it climbed the entire height of the tank, encasing it in a thick blanket of mouths and teeth. Finally it brought down the two mandibles on the massive heart, bright sanguine liquid squirted out as the light dimmed in it. The abomination began to glow from the inside as it drank, illuminating the room and its putrid inner workings.
The creature held its grip tightly, and after a short time, the first crack of glass pierced the air. Then came the next, and the next, until the entire tank shattered in one motion.
The embalming liquid spilled all over the room as the centipede squeezed down on all the minds and glass. Brain matter went everywhere as they were consumed one by one, each one eaten slowly undoing unknown eons of time, work, and suffering.
When the beast was finished, it was more than content with its feast. Luckily it had its fill, enough to ignore me like a human would an ant on the sidewalk.
And lucky for me, just like before, it had to rest and make use of the new food it just consumed. I was saved, at least for now. It slowly began to curl up in place of the tank, wrapping around itself endlessly, forming a makeshift cocoon of bones and legs.
The question was, what now? My purpose has been fulfilled, I found my answers. Left clueless, I only knew I had to get out of here, lest the beast finishes while I’m still around. Turning to the now clear exit, I sauntered my way over, reminiscing over my entire experience.
This whole journey was a test of strength, to see if I had what it took to survive and even though I did, I’m not sure it was worth it. All those souls stuck down here and up above are still trapped in an endless cycle of death and rebirth, only ending when there is no more meat to feed on. The only thing I could do was to eventually become a part of it.
Taking one last look at the hibernating creature, I almost felt a sense of pride in what I had caused. I at least made a difference here, that’s what I first set out to do after all.
Walking into the faint red glow of the tunnels, I cracked a devilish smile, because now I get to have a little fun.