Jason’s cologne clung to the inside of my nose. I could practically feel his skin cells underneath my fingernails. All I could think of was the hot shower I would take as soon as I got home. I needed to erase him from me. I couldn’t risk Stephen getting suspicious as incredible as that would be. Stephen was loving, dotting, and completely oblivious, it was part of why I married him.I pulled on the sweatshirt I had left the house in and switched out my shoes before getting out of the car. I watched Stephen for a moment from the large bay window in the living room. He was ironing one of my work blouses, while dinner bubbled on the stovetop. He was practically Mary Poppins, the perfect stay-at-home husband.”Hey, hun!” He called as I entered, waving a steaming iron in my direction.
“Hey,” I exhaled loudly into his ear as I went in for a quick hug, knitting my brow in faux exhaustion before quickly making my way to the kitchen.”Tough workout?” he asked as he turned back to the ironing board. I reached for water in the fridge and gulped it down dramatically.”Like you wouldn’t believe, the new lady they have running the Pilates classes is like a war criminal.” The excessive water sloshed in my stomach mixing with the fruity cocktail I had had at the bar.”Well,” Stephen said starting to eye me up and down, “clearly it’s working.” I forced a little giggle as he strode into the kitchen trying to ever so romantically sweep me into his arms. I held a palm up as I reached for another water. “I smell like the inside of a gym bag, I wouldn’t come near me right now.”Stephen shrugged and backed up clearing the path for me to scurry off to the bathroom.
Once inside I closed and locked the door and quickly stripped down to examine the damage. There was a small hickey forming just under my collarbone and a few scratches crisscrossing themselves across my forearm. The hickey I could cover with makeup or even fake a curling iron burn but the scratches would be harder to cover. I made a mental note to wrap myself up in the bathrobe rather than just a towel after the shower and started the water.While I waited for the steam to build up I brushed my teeth fiercely desperately trying to scrub off the taste of cheap mai tais and cigarettes. I rinsed with hydrogen peroxide twice and then got into the shower.Taking a new loofa from the stack I scrubbed every inch of my body. I washed my hair three times before finally feeling clean enough. Stephen thought I was a germaphobe which wasn’t completely wrong, but I’d rather he find it a cute little quirk instead of a mental illness. I quickly rinsed with cool water to close my pores and stepped out into the steamy bathroom.
I could hear Stephen plating dinner and I gagged at the thought of eating again so soon after leaving the restaurant with Jason. I quickly threw on my bathrobe and hunched myself over the toilet before jamming my fingers down my throat. I made sure to hack up the remaining mucus before loudly vomiting again. Stephen rushed to the bathroom as I knew he would.”Oh no! Baby, did you get sick?” he asked rubbing a warm palm on my back. My eyes were already watering from vomiting so I forced a few tears before nodding my head. “I went to that new sushi place with Kerry for lunch. I must have eaten something bad.” I gagged once more for dramatic effect and pretended I wasn’t disgusted by Stephen’s obvious recoil.”Well, let’s get your teeth brushed and get you to bed. I’ll pack your dinner up for lunch tomorrow, okay?” I nodded again, trying to make myself look as small and meek as possible. “I’m sorry” I whimpered, “I know you work so hard at making dinner.” He smiled at me warmly and wrapped me in a hug. “No apologies necessary. But I wouldn’t want to be the fish that made my wife sick.” He punched his fist into his palm, “If I ever see that guy!” He quipped. I laughed but for real this time as the idea of Stephen getting into a fight was actually hilarious. He didn’t have the balls to even give someone a dirty look.
Stephen helped me to our bedroom and I asked if he could please pull some of my winter pajamas out from storage as I felt the chills coming on. He dutifully went to fetch them but not before giving me a quick forehead kiss and determining that yes I was feeling a bit warm. Once changed into long sleeves and pants I felt like I could finally relax. I made a mental note to take a fall while jogging tomorrow to explain away the scratch marks.Stephen turned down the sheets and helped me to bed as if I had just broken several bones. As he tucked me in he asked, “Do you want me to leave the light on?” I nodded, “I think I might do some reading, try to take my mind off not feeling great.” He smiled down at me before giving me one more kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be up in a few hours, okay? You just yell if you need me.” I smiled back up with him as sweetly as I could muster before pulling my book from the nightstand. I watched as he closed the door.
“Pussy.” I murmured under my breath.If Stephen was a more observant man he might have noticed that I had been reading the same copy of an Anne Perry novel for five years. But Stephen was not an observant man and that made him a wonderful if unknowing partner. I opened the book to the middle and pulled out the second phone I kept in there. There were plenty of dating apps, Hinge, and Bumble, I preferred Tinder but the past few meetings had been messier than I would have liked. The men and women I meet through these apps know I’m married. They know I married a bumbling idiot who does whatever I say and doesn’t think to ask questions. They think I’m a bored corporate office drone looking for some excitement. Nothing long-term, nothing serious. Most of them are in the same boat. Ashley Maddison had been exactly the right kind of website for me but once the leak happened I had to branch out.
I clicked on Tinder and went to my chat log with Jason.
Had a great time at dinner! Maybe we could see each other again soon?
I would wait a few days before sending him something nasty along the lines of “Thanks for ghosting me asshole! Fuck you!” Then I would delete the profile before moving on to someone else. I made a mental note to pick someone smaller next time, Jason had been big, he tried fighting back. I was stupid enough to think the roofie I had slipped in his drink would be enough. He was much larger than the last one. All in all, it hadn’t been a bad night. I had had that horrific presentation to the board so it was such a release to smash the wine bottle and drag it across Jason’s throat. The best part though is always ripping out the teeth, it’s such a tension reliever! I won’t lie I did get a little turned on when I watched the blade effortlessly slice off the flaps of skin with tattoos but taking his fingertips really put me over the edge. None of it got me bothered enough to actually fuck my husband thank God. I did not have time for that showcase of male fragility tonight.
I closed out the apps and tucked my phone back into its hiding place before turning on the TV and catching the last bit of the nightly news.”Another body has turned up in the Hudson River today. Police have not responded to questions on if this is the work of the unnamed serial killer who has been stalking the city and surrounding neighborhoods for the last five years.” I sucked my teeth, as my hand trailed lazily against my inner thigh, “It’s been like eight years, you dumb bitch.” If I was an idiot like that BTK guy I would write a letter correcting the report. Hell, I could come up with some stupid riddle and make them give me a nickname like Zodiac. But I wouldn’t, that would ruin the whole game. The longer this went on the better it got, the hotter it was, and no one would ever be the wiser. Women walk this earth practically invisible, making no noise and pretending we don’t exist. Who is going to look for someone who doesn’t exist?