I was working as a live-in counsellor in an orphanage called Maidenhead Manor located on the outskirts of a small town in England. It was my first real place of employment after University and I had always wanted to work with children so it sounded like a fantastic opportunity to not only gain experience, but to help the children through their stay at the manor.
My first week could not have gone better, it was a little nerve-wracking but everyone made me feel quite welcome. The best thing about this place was that it truly felt like all of the children and the Sisters who worked in the orphanage were already like one big family.
They all got treated very well and they were always well fed and clean. Everybody was very sweet and they all seemed to love each other, so much so that they had something called a “Not Forgotten Board” hanging on the wall at the entrance of the orphanage with a long list of names of children who were no longer at the Manor dating back to the late 1800’s.
I had settled into my role quite easily and I got to know the children and The Sisters of the Orphanage very well over the course of the following 7 months, the winter evenings were spent curled up by the fires, reading stories and drinking hot chocolates. The nurse who lived in the manor with us became a good friend of mine, her name was Tracy and she would spend most of her evenings with me and some of the children.
-
The summer season was a celebrated time of year at the Manor, during the day we played lots of games outside, I even had the idea of buying one of those plastic waterslides that you attach a hose to and cover in soap which they absolutely loved on the hot summer days,
There were extravagant meals prepared for dinner, the sweetest desserts and bubbly drinks of all different flavours every single night. Of course all of the children lost their energy by nightfall and the little ones would fall asleep pretty soon after eating their dinner.
Myself and the Sisters who lived on-site at the Manor used to take it in turns to do the “night shift” which mostly just comprised of us taking turns sleeping in a reclining sofa chair in the corner of the 1st Floor hallway to stop any of the children from going downstairs past their bedtime unless they needed a drink of water or if they had a nightmare or something, in that case, we would assist.
One evening when I was working the “night shift”, one of the children, a little boy named Evan, approached me and gently woke me by tapping on my shoulder.
“Is it time?” he whispered.
“Is it time for what? What do you need?” I replied.
He glanced at me with a confused expression and gestured to the stairs leading down to the front door.
“Why do you want to go out there? Evan, darling, It’s 2am, please be a good boy and go back to bed.” I said and walked him back to his room.
Evan looked up at me with a concerned look on his face and then tilted his head down to stare at the floor. “Yes Miss. Goodnight Miss.” He said. I smiled, lifted him up and tucked him into his bed and left, closing the door behind me.
-
The early hours of the morning approached, there was a lovely scent of freshly baked bread in the air coming from the kitchen.
One by one, the children started to make their way downstairs for our communal breakfast, rubbing their tired eyes as they sit to eat. The headcount goes on as per the daily ritual, John, Peter, Carla, Michael, Gabriel etc.. we have them all, but Evan.
As the other children scoff up their meals like animals that have not been fed for a week, I made my way upstairs with Nurse Tracy in case Evan is laying in bed with a temperature and we knocked on his door.
*knock knock knock*
“Evan? Can we please come in?” I say.
No response.
“Evan? Come on darling it is time for breakfast” I reiterate as I slowly turn the door handle and push it open.
He was not there.
Nurse Tracy did not seem as worried as I did.
“Maybe he’s in the bathroom, I am sure he’ll show his face when he is ready.” she said.
I hoped he was doing alright, normally I would not have been so worried about Evan but after last nights fiasco, something did not feel right, I put the thought into the back of my mind and went about my daily duties, hoping that I would later run into Evan again. I booked him into an appointment with myself for tomorrow to talk about whatever it was he needed.
I informed The Sisters about Evan and his whereabouts and they assured me that he was fine. I went about my day not thinking any more of it.
-
*Counselling Session - Carla*
Carla was a beautiful girl, she was one of the oldest children at the Manor at 13 years old and her parents unfortunately lost their lives in a car accident two years prior.
She entered my office and sat on the brown leather sofa across from me looking sombre.
“Good Morning Carla, are you ready to begin?” I said.
“Yes.” she replied bluntly.
“What is the matter? You do not seem your usual self this morning. What is troubling you?”
“It’s almost my time and I don’t think I am ready.” she muttered, choking back tears.
“I need you to give me a little bit more than that sweetheart. Can you please explain to me what it is that you do not think you are ready for?”
“Any of it! They’re scary!” she exclaimed. “I don’t think I am ready. What if I am not good enough?!”
Ah, adoption.. I had no idea she was being adopted. I mean, it was great news because she had been living in the Manor for a while and I knew the wound was still fresh from the death of her parents but this was her chance at a new beginning.
“Oh darling, I am sure you will be fine. You just have to be your true, authentic self. This is a chance at a new beginning, a new life. Think of all the things you will be able to do! Go to school, make new friends, the list is endless. A new family is intimidating but trust me, this is going to be one of the best moments of your life.” I said calmingly.
“N–New family?.. I wish that was all it was, but it’s too late. No one wanted me.” she sobbed and ran out the room, crying into her hands.
I stood up and attempted to chase after her, but when I stepped foot out of my office, she had disappeared. There was nothing but silence, not even the sound of her footsteps creaking across the old floorboards.
-
After my short lived session with Carla, I decided that it was too much to keep to myself. I approached the Orphan Keeper, who although the name in itself seems a little old-fashioned, it was really only the title of one of The Sisters who runs the Orphanage. I needed some clarity as to what was wrong with Carla and to get an update on Evan.
I knocked on her office door and gently peaked my head through the gap.
“Hello Sister Theresa, do you have a moment? There is something important I would like to discuss.”
“Of course dear, have a seat.” she said, gesturing towards an old fabric laid chaise lounge on the far side of the room.
“What can I do for you?” she said as I planted myself down on the soft lounge, peering up at a hanging cross of Jesus on the wall.
“It is about the children, Sister. I have had two incidences over the last two days and I am growing concerned about their wellbeing and mental health. Poor sweet Carla came to confide in me and left my office bawling her eyes out, I have not seen her since.” I said through shaky breaths.
“And Evan, I have not seen him or heard from him all day. He approached me late last night when I was working the night-shift. I-“ I didn’t get to finish my sentence before Sister Theresa interrupted.
“Oh dear. Some of the children, the warmth of the summer must be getting to their heads. I can assure you, everything is fine.. Now, I am sorry but must cut our little meeting short, I have some important things I need to attend to.” she blurted and gestured towards the door.
“I-I think this is important though Sister, whatever is happening to the children.. Something is not right.” I vocalised before she escorted me out of the office and closed the door behind me.
That is the moment I knew something was wrong…and Sister Theresa was involved.
I had to know what was happening to these kids.
I quickly rushed to my office and picked up an empty glass cup from my desk and made my way back over to Sister Theresa’s office. I took the glass and held it up, pressing it to the door with my ear against the base.
“Yes sir, I know there is not much time. I am sorry, but there will be a delay. It seems we have hit a little snag.” Sister Theresa whispered.
I could not hear a response. There was a moment of silence.
“I cannot do that sir. The children will become afraid, we cannot risk it. If the children are afraid, they will never comply. If they do not comply, the entire system falls apart. We must be smart about this.” she said.
I caught myself and threw my hand up to cover my mouth and muffle the sound of my heavy breaths. What were they doing to these poor children? The sound of the silence grew thicker..
The door swung open.
Sister Theresa stood on the other side, holding the phone in her hand. How did I not hear her coming? I didn’t even hear the door handle turn.
“Didn’t you know that eavesdropping is rude.” she grinned a Cheshire grin, black glowing eyes glazed over, staring right through me.
She grabbed my arm with what felt like the grip of a vice and pulled me into the room, causing me to drop the glass from my hand, shattering as it hit the floor.
Fear drenched my body, disabling my voice to call for help.
“The Sisters are waiting, my dear.”