Part 1 (https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/10lzdmx/the_devils_atm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
“You’re breastfeeding exclusively, right?,” a nurse asked suddenly. “Um… no, I don’t think I’d like to anymore,” I replied. “Babe, you sure? Totally your choice but you really researched and prepared for it,” Alexander mentioned. “I know. I may pump some when we go home, but I’ve just changed my mind,” I told him with a forced smile. He nodded and the nurse went to get the readymade formula for us.
The thought of Lila being that close to me made my skin crawl, of course I couldn’t tell anyone that. They’d think I was having some sort of postpartum psychosis or something. Alexander had his turn holding her, and fed her as well. I don’t think she even needed to eat, but she drank the bottle for him.
The next day we got to go home, we quickly stopped at a Walmart for more bottles and formula. “Hey can we go through the drive through at Zaxby’s , I’m starved,” I told Alexander. “Sure,” he said. At this point I was stalling. I didn’t want to be at home with my own child. I can’t believe what I’d done, even though unknowingly. I’d done a terrible thing.
When we got home Alexander fed the baby and put her to sleep in her bassinet while I ate my food. It was all so surreal. I dreaded the days to come when I should’ve been happy about this new adventure.
Days turned to weeks, weeks to months. I stayed home with Lila like I’d agreed to and hated my days with her. She stared at me all day long. It was almost like she knew what I’d done. When Alexander came home she’d flip the script. She’d cry for him, she’d eat for him when she wouldn’t for me, and she’d “sleep” for him as well. He’d ask me about my day and I’d have to lie about how good she’d been all day or that she was fussy that day.
Years of this passed and Lila became a toddler, which was even more unsettling than when she was a baby. When she was three, Alexander decided we should get her a kitten. Within a week she killed it. I found her sitting with the limp cat across her lap.
“Lila what did you do?,” I asked, horrified. She was extremely articulate for her age. I could guess what happened but I wanted her to say it. “It bit me, so I grabbed its neck until it stopped moving,” she said. “Lila you can’t do that honey, I told her. “Why not? It hurt me, now it can’t anymore,” she replied. “Because it’s just wrong. It was just a kitten. It has to learn. You can’t kill a living thing just because you want to,” I told her. She simply shrugged.
When Alexander got home she put on show of it being an accident. “Daddy, I didn’t know if I grabbed the kitty’s neck it would hurt it,” she said between sobs.
Later that night Alexander tore into me. “WHY weren’t you supervising her with the kitten, Jessica?,” he barked. “I can’t watch her every second of every day, Alexander! There’s other things in the house that needs to be done as well. When I went to load the washer she was in her room by herself playing with toys,” I told him.
“Look, Jess, I’m sorry. It was just hard seeing her so distressed,” he told me. “Yeah and do you not think it was distressing for me as well finding her with the dead cat? No more pets, alright?,” I told him. “Perhaps when she’s older,” he trailed off. I knew it wouldn’t make a difference.
The next year she went into preschool and I feared what would happen. I don’t know if I should say this is lucky, but she put on the same show for the teachers as she did her dad. It was to the point they wouldn’t believe when kids would tell them Lila had bit them, told them she’d stab them with scissors during naptime, or some other horrendous offense. It was dealt with accordingly and “through the proper channels,” but Lila always came out unscathed. Two parents had their kids placed in different classes.
We made it through preschool and went on to kindergarten. At this point I started back working. I couldn’t get my librarian job back but Alexander got me on at the firm. I worked at the front desk. It was easy work but it was nice getting some normal, adult interaction finally after all of these years.
I’d sit at the desk and wait for a call each day, telling me Lila had done something horrible. It never came and she was doing what I would consider good for someone with no soul. She could fake happiness, sadness, and was getting closer to faking empathy, but she was still incredibly cold with me.
One weekend Alexander had to go on a business trip. Lila was incredibly cross about it, but we weren’t going because he wouldn’t be back until late Sunday and it would “disrupt her sleep schedule.” I couldn’t exactly tell Alexander she didn’t need sleep…
She tantrumed. She kicked. She screamed. She told me she hated me and wanted to go with her daddy. Even though I knew she was soulless, that still hurt. I was the one who had taken care of her since birth, even when I didn’t want to, even though I was afraid of her, and she hated me. I knew she meant it, and I just… couldn’t understand it. She could put on this show for everyone BUT me.
I put her to bed that night and walked away. I just felt so tired, so drained. I think I was at my breaking point. I downed three glasses of wine then went to bed. I tossed and turned that night, and dreamt incessantly of The Devil’s ATM. I kept trying to get to it but it was just out of reach.
At one point in the night I was having trouble breathing, and when I woke Lila was sitting on me with her little knees pressing firmly into my chest. “Lila,” I coughed out. “I wish you were dead, Mommy. The lady told me what you did,” she said flatly. “What-,” I started. “She told me Daddy nearly died and you gave them my soul. It’s why I don’t feel anything for you at all. I don’t much feel anything for anyone, but I do know I like Daddy better than you,” she said.
I moved her off my chest. “Lila, you had a bad dream that’s-,” I said before she cut me off again. “She told me you’d say that too. You’re a liar. If Daddy would believe me I’d tell him what you did, then he’d hate you. I’m gonna kill you sometime. I don’t want you around me or Daddy. I want it to just be the two of us,” she said before leaving the room.
Right then and there I decided I had to get the fuck out, as terrible as it sounds. I packed my things and thought of just leaving but I couldn’t. Even though Lila threatened to kill me, I couldn’t just leave her on her own. Part of me, somewhere deep inside, still loved her. She was my child and I’d failed her in a way I never imagined possible. I had so much guilt.
I called Alexander’s mom and told her I had a family emergency and asked her to come get Lila. She gladly helped out, as always. Janet had always been good to me, and been a good grandmother to Lila.
“Is everything alright dear?,” she asked as she came in the house. “I’m not sure. I just need to go back home for a few days to make sure. Alexander is going to be home late Sunday evening,” I told her. She carried Lila and her bags out to her car. While buckling her here she said, “I’ll give him a call and let him know what’s going on so you can focus on what you’re doing.”
“Alright Lila, you be a good girl for Nana, okay?,” I said. She nodded. I could hardly choke back the tears forming in my eyes. “I- Mommy loves you,” I told her, while leaning in to kiss her cheek. “I love you too, Mommy,” she said while wrapping her arms around me. It was the first time she’d ever hugged me. I began to tremble uncontrollably. “You knew better didn’t you, Mommy? Thank you for not making me have to kill you,” she whispered to me before letting me go.
I thanked Janet again before heading back inside. I wasn’t even sure where I was going but I knew it had to be somewhere I wouldn’t be found. I packed as much of my necessities as I could then decided I should leave my phone so it couldn’t be tracked.
Alexander and I had a joint bank account, but when I stayed home he’d give me $500 a week. “That’s just for you to treat yourself with, babe. You do so much for this family, you deserve it,” he’d say. Honestly I’d been putting it and my paycheck from the firm in my fire proof box here at home for an emergency. Alexander didn’t know about it, which is bad of me, but I figured someday, something like this or something even worse would happen.
I grabbed the entire box and put it in my duffel bag. I took my time and looked around, taking in all of the good memories here, and all of the bad. In the kitchen I left a note on the fridge telling Alexander I was sorry but couldn’t do this anymore, then made my way out.
I took my shitty old Trailblazer opposed to any of the newer cars we had. It didn’t have any kind of system in it that would allow it to be tracked. I started driving, unknowing of my destination. Janet didn’t live far so I can imagine at this point she’d called Alexander, and he was to call me.
At the thought of that I began to cry silently. As the tears rolled down my cheeks I could feel my heart breaking. I didn’t want to leave him, but I didn’t want to die. She was only five, but I knew Lila would find some way to kill me and make it out to be an accident. She’d get her way somehow, and as usual, any way she could.
I drove and drove until I was tired. My face was sticky from all of the tears. I was in some big town where people wouldn’t be likely to pay me much attention. I found a car dealership to trade my Trailblazer in. I got a Explorer that was damn near of equal value so I didn’t have to spend much of my cash. I also went into the local Walmart for some supplies. I decided to grab a pay as you go phone,a laptop and printer, a cooler for food, some drinks, hair cutting scissors and a box of hair dye.
After that I checked in at the least inconspicuous hotel in town. It didn’t look run down but it was nearly abandoned and I appreciated that. Plus it had wifi. The less people I interacted with the better. I didn’t want Alexander finding me at all. I didn’t want to have to face him because I knew I’d either stupidly go back or let everything I’d been holding in out, resulting in getting myself committed.
When I got settled, I quickly scarfed down a sandwich before figuring out what I was going to do with my hair. It was blonde a flowed halfway down my back. I inhaled deeply before getting started. I hacked away at it until it reached just above my shoulders. I also decided to give myself some side bangs.
It wasn’t me, but that’s what I needed. Then I started on the hair dye. I’d just randomly grabbed some and it turned out to be burgundy. When I got done it was more of a purplish color but I didn’t care. This was me now. I also decided to wear my glasses opposed to contacts. Change the look up even more.
“Hello, my name is Amanda… Hello, my name is Jennifer Coates. Hi, I’m Jenny. Jenny Coates,” I said into the mirror. I needed to be able to get new documents so I’d have to do some shady business, hence the laptop and printer. I’d seen my stepdad do this before growing up. He was into some criminal activity or another at any given time.
I went online and managed to get a foraged birth certificate, which would in turn help me get a new license, signed the car over to Jennifer from Jessica, and then decided to rest a bit. I had a long road ahead, restarting my entire life, no need in getting into a big rush now that I was far away.
I fell asleep quickly, but it didn’t last. I kept dreaming of Lila standing over me with a knife. When I finally got out of bed it was 3am. I decided to go on and check out. I hit the road and headed south. I still wasn’t sure where I was going but when I got there, I knew.
I happened upon this really nice small town called Plantersville. It was so picturesque and quaint, I knew I wanted to make it home.
It took about a month for me to get settled. I got an apartment and a job at this local boutique. I was unsure the owner would hire me with this funky purple hair, but luckily Annette was a really kind woman. I didn’t like lying to people but when asked what brought me here I just told them I needed a fresh start and let them assume the rest. I couldn’t exactly tell them I was running from my homicidal, soulless child.
Eventually everything started falling into place. I still had guilt for leaving my family, but I was slowly becoming content with my new life. Annette had really taken me under her wing and had me as assistant manager in no time. Previously she’d run the store on her own. It wasn’t a particularly busy store, but she did well. It really felt good to have her trust me the way she did. Before I even realized a year had passed.
I woke up one rainy Tuesday, made myself a cup of coffee to go and headed to work. Annette was working the books up and asked me if I’d go out in the store to check the stock. “I think a few things are getting low so just make note of what you need then go grab it out of the stock room,” she said. I grabbed my trusty notebook and made my way out front.
After making my notes I went to get the items needed. I started grabbing a few dresses off the stock rack when a familiar feeling washed over me. I turned around and there it was, a stairwell with the words ATM written over the top of it. At this point there was no hesitation. I knew exactly what I’d ask for if the ATM would allow it.
I ran quickly down the stairs and the ATM was ready for me without fail.
—> Would you like to make a withdrawal?
“You won’t trick me this time?,” I asked it. “Depends…. What do you want?,” it asked. “I want to go back. Back to the day I made the deal to save Alexander and with the same knowledge I have now,” I told it. “Why? I thought you wanted to save him? You loooooveed him so much,” it taunted.
“Look, I love my daughter more. Even though she doesn’t feel anything for me. Even though she wants me dead. I want to go back. I want my baby to have her soul and you can have mine. Collection upon death ONLY. You can take Alexander’s too if you want. I don’t care. It’s not fair what you did to Lila. She was innocent,” I said with tears flowing freely.
“Mmm… but children’s souls are just so good, so pure. That’s why my master wanted hers over yours, but now seeing your desperation has really got my master in a generous mood,” it said. “So it’s a deal?,” I asked. “One blast to the past with the knowledge you have now, your daughter’s soul in tact, and collection of your soul upon death. Alexander can die and let things play out naturally. Master appreciates the sentiment, though,” the voice said.
Next thing I knew there I stood, six months pregnant in front of the The Devil’s ATM. I fell to my knees, overwhelmed by everything I’d been through. “Thank you,” I told the ATM, which felt stupid to say after I said it. This thing had ruined my life but yes, let me thank it. I shook my head then headed back up the stairs.
Alexander died that night. I cried for him, for myself, and for our daughter. She’d never know him, but the sliver lining was that she would get to keep her soul.
I had Alexander cremated as he wished, sold the large home he’d bought for us, downsizing to a more manageable cottage sized home, and began to prepare for Lila’s arrival. Janet was really helpful with everything and I was grateful for that.
On September thirtieth, she was there with me when I went into labor. This time when they placed Lila on my chest, she cried, full of life and totally normal. And as she grew she was a completely wonderful little girl. She was full of love and kindness. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.
As she grew she became quite the woman. She’s gone into business like her father, has a husband and family of her own. She’s doing really well and I couldn’t be more proud.
I’m 65 years old now, and although I don’t feel like I’m very old, I can feel death creeping upon me. Sometimes I see a woman. She’s bone thin, has short black hair, sharp features. I’d never seen her around before.
One day when I was at the park with my grandchildren, she sat down on the bench beside me. “You need to get your affairs in order, Jessica,” she said in a sickeningly recognizable airy voice. “You?,” I stammered. “Yes, me,” she replied before walking off.
My days are numbered now and I’ve taken her advice, getting my affairs in order, but before they could come to get me I had to warn everyone. If you ever see a stairwell with the words ATM over the top, just walk away. Don’t be enticed, don’t even think about going down there. Whatever you’re facing isn’t worse than the tricks they’ll play or the fate you’ll be facing after making a deal with The Devil’s ATM.