I should have realized it was all too easy…
My name is Mary Matthews I am of neither sound mind nor good moral character. What I am is a human being who has been dealing with a terrible nonhuman story for far too long.
I have never been the type of person that could hold a job for very long. I’m not trying to lose them I swear, but it’s just. I get tired a lot I’ve been dealing with a case of crippling depression for the better part of my life which causes me to zone out most of the day. Thinking about what happens after. But none of that is important right now, I apologize.
What is important is this job I got. It wasn’t an easy thing to forget. It’s quite a number of years ago but it feels like yesterday. I know a lot of time has passed since I worked the nightshift at Angelic Heights Retirement home but I still feel like I should document what happened during those nights. I don’t want to die and take this knowledge with me. People must know. And now they will. I understand that what I will write here will sound as crazy talk. Nonsense coming from a junkie who slept too little. I am not writing this so that you will believe me, I could not give a single fuck if you believe me or not. I just want you to know. That this is what happened.
It was late October or early November I cannot quite recall. All I remember was that it had started getting cold. And I was in need of a job. Then I saw this particular advert in the papers. Night job. 9 PM till 9 AM. Night jobs were always difficult to find people for, I suspected that they were desperate for someone. My suspicion was confirmed when I got the job without even a face to face interview. I should have realized something was up at that moment but I didn’t. My own fault really. Truth be told I didn’t even look at what the job was about. All I saw was that it took place during the night. Now normally folk don’t take night jobs cause socializing with friends and family would be impossible then. Luckily I possessed neither. I was honestly the perfect candidate for the job.
The day before I started was when I first learned what was expected of me. All from a letter in the mail. I was to be a receptionist of sorts for the elders that resided in Angelic Heights Retirement Home. I was the person they could go to if there were any questions that needed to be asked. At first I was anxious. I cannot explain with any logic but I have always had a thing for old people. It is not that they disgust me. It is just that I am distrusting of them. I feel nervous around them. They look like ghouls. Their skin is hanging loosely, the wrinkles on their faces are never ending. Let me just end it on the fact that I always felt uneasy in their comfort.
But I needed the money so I went ahead with the job. Again looking back it was clear I should have said no. Found something else. Anything else. My gut had told me no and I refused to listen to it.
So there I stood, before the age old structure. 1800’s from the looks of it, although I wasn’t exactly sure. The building seemed older then the people inside, if that was a good thing or not I did not know. The letter which had instructions about the specifics about the job was clutched in my hand. I did not bother to look at it again. If I had done I would have walked away that was for sure. To this day I wished I would have walked away.
Inside the building I felt worse, I felt small, alone. The air got to me. It was like hospital air, far too clean to breathe in. In short I felt not at ease. All of that before I had even encountered an elder living between these walls. Speaking freely I was quite pathetic, looking back at myself from the experience of time. I was truly pathetic.
Once inside things started to become a bit more normal. I was guided into a little office. Told to sit down, asked for something to drink. All of this felt very familiar, which calmed my nerves down quite a bit. I expected an overlong conversation but the man that met me did not seem to be interested in that. He guided me around the cramped room and once the tour was finished he handed me the keys told me to lock the doors in ten minutes and left…. Before he left however he told me that if I had any questions I should read the manual that was left on the desk. I wanted to ask him more but he was gone in the blink of an eye. I didn’t realize it back then but there was something in his eyes. He could not wait to leave the retirement home. I did not understood it back then. But I would three days later.
So I took place behind the cheap looking desk, everything looked cheap. Even the walls themselves. How that was possible I did not know. I did not know a whole lot of things.
Things were looking quite boring. A twelve hour shift was not nothing, I could nap but I was not tired enough. With me I had brought some novels. It was one of the view things I loved to do, reading. I opened one of them and started reading, however I could not turn the page, I kept forgetting the lines. I read the page over and over again but my mind would not accept that I had read it, as if it was too focussed on something else. In defeat I put the book down. Then I saw him….
He was sitting before me, one of the elders. I had not heard him come in, I had not heard him sit down, I had not heard him breathe. He was just there. Staring at me…
“Hello there. Can I ask you a question?”
If I was not in panic and fearful state that I was I would have responded with the clever line of: you just did. But I was to anxious to respond with that line. Again I always felt uneasy about elders so I might not be the best judge when it came to it, but even then. This man before me…. How did he come in? Why had not taking a breath since he had sit down? When had he sat down? Had he blinked? Had he even blinked once while sitting there?? I had the answer to none of the questions. So I decided I would do my best to get some.
“Hello there, of course you can, what do you want to know?”
The Elder smiled, no teeth were showing, just holes in his mouth were teeth were supposed to be. His tongue looked burned, rotten I was not sure.
“How is your twin sister doing?”
I froze before the man, I did not posses a twin sister, I was an only child. I had always been a only child. What was this Elder thinking? Then a hopeful and realistic thought popped up in my head. Dementia. This poor old man was confusing me with someone else of course that was it. It was my first night here, he was probably thinking I was the previous night receptionist. It all started to make sense.
“I apologize sir, I think you confuse me with someone else. I am the new night receptionist. My first day here. And I don’t have a twin sister.”
The Elder’s smile dropped. As if I had somehow insulted him.
“They told me you did have a twin sister, are you suggesting they lied to me? Now we both know that cannot be possible little one. They cannot lie, they cannot lie.”
I was more freaked out then before, perhaps I should have played along with him. Perhaps it would be safer. I moved as far back as my chair would allow me.
“I am sorry sir, do you want me to call you a nurse? Someone that can help you further?”
The Elder seemed to like that answer, as if his previous outbreak had not happened. That was how he acted anyway.
“Call nurse Seven, tell him it’s regarding Payton Castellanos. He will know.”
So I picked up the phone and called the nurses number which was taped below the phone. I knew the name of Elder that was good at least. That was something.
The nurse… Well nurse Seven came and took the Elder with him. It was all over in the span of five minutes. The most bizarre five minutes of my night. I was sorely mistaken in that assessment.
No that would come later. When the night was over, yes that was all of importance that happened on the first night. Those five minutes. Then 9 PM had come. I wish I didn’t stop to look at the pictures on the wall. I had not even seen them coming in, why did I stop and look at the pictures???
One of the pictures was of a funeral, which made a lot of sense considering the age of the Elders. Then for some inexplicable reason I looked closer. I saw the name and the picture of the deceased. And as you might have guessed already :
PAYTON CASTELLANOS. AGE 99. WE SHALL FOREVER MISS YOU.
I stood there, staring at that picture completely flabbergasted and fearing for my sanity.
I wish I could say this was the hight of the insanity regarding the retirement home. But that would be lying and I am not a lying woman. Meeting and talking with Payton Castellanos who had died years ago was only the beginning of the insanity I would encounter.
It is almost 4 AM now. I want to continue my story of the retirement home but I must sleep after all I am only human. I shall continue the tale the moment I wake up.