Sometimes I hear it scuttling in the shadows or behind the walls. I rarely witness it but when I do it’s always a blur that disappears into the shadows and it never happens when I expect it to. I know I sound off my rocker but there is a monster that lives in my apartment.
I first heard its calls five days ago, the same day my sister, her husband and their daughter came over to visit before they left for a vacation. It was the middle of the night when the sound rose from the darkness, freezing my blood. Its calls sounded like an orchestra of string instruments being played by gorillas with a propensity for causing as much pain as possible.
That was the first in a long series of nights that seemed to never end.
The next morning when I got up, I found my chair was torn and the stuffing was partially dragged out.
I was physically attacked by this monster the following night while sleeping. The monster plunged its fangs and talons into my feet, attempting to shred my flesh from its bones.
I wanted to go to a hospital to have it looked at but I am afraid of what they may tell me. What if it gave me some kind of disease when it scratched and bit me?
After two days without sleep, my mind was playing tricks on me.
I think the beast enjoys chaos. Returning home I sometimes find my clothes torn and laying on the floor or the remains of a digested meal.
It even knocked over the urn of great grandma and scattered the ashes.
I decided to ask around for help and thankfully found people online. Unfortunately, since I had not seen this beast and couldn’t give a description, they couldn’t tell me exactly what I would need, but they did recommend that I buy books of wards and rituals.
In a new age shop, I loaded up with everything from charms to Christian crosses in the silver and gold variety since one may work better than the other.
I didn’t expect to buy as much as I did that day but the weight of all the charms around my neck is a small price to pay for safety.
People online also recommended that I purchase incense and sage to purge the beast.
After performing all the rituals I could and surrounding my bed with salt I finally felt comfortable enough to sleep. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out of it.
I don’t know how long I was out of it, but when I woke up it was dark. That isn’t what woke me though. There was something laying on top of my hip, its tail was twitching back and forth, slapping my leg and I was too afraid to move.
When my alarm clock went off the beast ran away. It was the first time I was thankful for having an alarm clock if I am being honest.
When I went to the kitchen, I saw some more of the creature’s destruction. This time it decided to tear apart a throw pillow.
I am not the kind of person who likes to tell people if I need help, so I didn’t tell my friends or family about this even though I knew that if I did they would offer me a spare bedroom or a couch.
Each day I go without sleep its as if the shadows get darker and larger. I am not sure if I am going crazy or not.
Even as I write this I wonder: Did I just see the beast?
Some people online told me about the origin of Halloween, and how people would place offerings of milk out for ghosts and goblins to calm them. They recommended that I do the same thing.
I sat a small bowl of milk out and ran out to buy offerings of meat at the store. When I returned I saw that the milk had been drunk so I put out a piece of bologna. I looked away for only a moment and when I looked back the meat was gone.
These offerings are only a bandaid. I need to identify this monster if I am to have any chance of being free of it.
The following night my blood ran cold when I heard the monster in the walls between my bed and my neighbors apartment. On the other side of the wall is an old woman who lives all by herself. I should’ve got up and run to her rescue, but at that moment I was a coward and didnt do anything except cover my head and drown out the sounds with tuneless humming.
I rearm all the traps I have set up the next morning and cry because of how useless these traps are and how helpless I feel.
Its at this point where I get more glances of the creature. A tuft of hair here, a tail there. Seeing all this I wish I was never born. I cannot do this for much longer.
I am not religious and I was reluctant to ask a priest for help, however at this point I have no other option. He said the church no longer does exorcisms, that demons are a way to explain the evils in the world and not to be taken literally. When I insist that I am living with some sort of entity he recommends prayer.
I caused a bit of a scene when he said this and stormed off.
My friends started to notice how much I have changed and how I am isolating myself so they reach out to me. I told them everything was fine because I do not want to bother them with my burden. As we speak I take my time bringing up the possibility of borrowing his gun so I could go duck hunting. Thankfully he believed me.
I do not like being dishonest but I don’t see another way out of this situation. If the tables were reversed and he were to tell me about a monster I would not believe him.
That night I didn’t try to sleep, I sat in my bed with the loaded weapon and waited for the monster to show itself. The moment it rears its ugly head I was going to end its life or die trying.
Hours pass, I think I might have nodded off with the gun in my lap. I wake up suddenly and raise the gun to the door where I thought the beast would appear. I cocked the gun, putting a shell in the chamber while at the same time ejecting the one I forgot was already in there.
As I pan the gun left and right, waiting for my eyes to adjust, I look for any movement. After a few moments I see that the wards on the floor made out of salt have been spread all over.
I really should not be surprised, the wards offered me no help yet, why should I expect things to be different now?
Feeling pressure on my bladder I dread getting out of bed when it is dark. Under the bed the monster could wait for me to put my foot on the floor. I feel like a child all over again, scared of the dark, scared of monsters. In truth I am afraid of everything.
After a silent prayer I jump off the bed and as soon as my foot touches the ground I sprint to the bathroom and shut the door.
Unfortunately I didn’t bring the gun with me.
Deciding to sit on the cold toilet instead of standing up to urinate I consider sleeping here with the door shut. Before I know it I am asleep once again.
I woke up to the sound of loud and rapid scratching.
In that tiny gap between the door and the floor I see a white claw reaching out towards me. Needle-like claws extended and excitedly scrape the floor as if it’s trying to pull the floor, and me, towards its awaiting maw. A moment later the claw turns and reaches towards the doorknob.
I am thankful I am already on the toilet because I scream like a child and because I don’t remember the last time I ate, I faint.
When I wake up its to the sound of my phone ringing on the other side of the door.
As soon as I build enough courage I burst through the bathroom door and sprint to my bed where the phone and the gun lay. Instead of grabbing the gun I look at my phone. Four voice mails and six missed calls, all of which are from my boss.
He said that I was fired in the last voice mail.
This should upset me more than it does but how could losing a job compare to living with some kind of demon?
Forcing myself to eat I open the fridge and the smell of old spoiled food breaks me. I cry harder than I ever have in my life.
Babies don’t cry this much.
The anticipation of being attacked was almost worse than actually being attacked.
I shout, challenging the beast to reveal itself as my knuckles turn white around the gun.
I position a chair in the corner so I can see more of my house and I wait for the monster.
Outside I hear people go about their day, I hear birds chirp, cars start and in the distance I hear a school bell ring indicating that the students are about to go home.
Everyone else gets to feel normal.
Again I cry.
There was a moment I thought I heard a woman screaming in the hallway outside, but it ended up being one of those happy screams.
I cry yet again.
The only time I move from that chair is when I go to turn on the lights just before it gets dark. After all, I need to see the monster in order to shoot it.
If the monster survives the blast it would kill me. If that is the case, at least this nightmare would be over and I would be able to finally sleep. Weighing the pros and the cons of living, as well as the gun in my hand, I made a decision and put the barrel of the gun in my mouth.
Slowly I apply pressure to the trigger, knowing that at any time this thing will go off and my suffering would be over. I think about the poor bastard who would have to clean this mess for a second but quickly set that thought aside. As soon as I shoot, it would not be my problem.
I add more pressure to the trigger with the business end of the gun in my mouth.
My lips tighten on the barrel and I cry more, my finger not easing the tension on the trigger.
That was when the phone rang.
I pull the barrel out of my mouth on the third ring to see who is calling me. Wiping tears from my eyes I pick up the phone and see it is my sister who just came back from her vacation. She is the one person who could talk me off of this cliff.
“Hello?” I answer as calmly as I can muster.
“Hey, I’m coming over, be there in five minutes,” she says.
“What? Why?” I ask, surprised.
“I’m picking up my cat today. Thanks for watching it when we were gone by the way.”