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I started to panic, my mind running wild about what was going to happen to me if I stayed in that room. I pulled out my cell phone, realizing I should call someone, maybe they could help me. No bars, no signal at all. Shit. There was a computer in the office and it showed there was internet on it, so I decided an email would have to do. I sent out so many emails and every time I would get the notification that the email address didn’t exist. I knew I hadn’t gotten all of those email addresses wrong, and that’s when I realized it was my email address that no longer existed. How could that be? That’s when I heard the notification beep on my phone, I had signal now. Though we hadn’t spoken in months, the first person I called was my mom.
“Hello?” she answered, a bit annoyed.
“Mom, it’s me, I ne…” She cut me off before I could finish the sentence.
“Me, who? Why are you calling me mom?”
“It’s me, your daughter.” Why was she acting like she didn’t know me? Was it some kind of passive aggressive thing because I had been so secluded?
“You must have the wrong number, my daughter is sitting right next to me.” Definitely had to be some passive aggressive bullshit she was pulling, but now was really not the time.
“Mom, it’s your other daughter, and I really need your help…I’m trapped in…“ She scoffed, cutting me off again.
“I only have one daughter, you have the wrong number.” *click*
That was it, she really didn’t know me. What was going on? I pulled my cell phone up to dial 9-1-1 but there was no signal again. Damn. I don’t understand why this was happening. I sat in the chair at the desk, putting my face in my hands, tears welling up in my eyes when I felt a gentle breeze. I looked up, hoping there was a window that I hadn’t noticed. Looking frantically around the room, I realized there was no window and I must have imagined the breeze, but I did notice that there was now a small door on the back wall that definitely hadn’t been there before. My only two options were to stay in that room and slowly die, or go see where that door lead.
Bracing myself, I stood up from the desk and walked over to the door. As I reached out to pull the door open, it creaked open on it’s own. Well, I guess this was it, this was the only option I had. Taking a deep breath, I ducked into the small doorway, finding myself in a dark tunnel. I couldn’t see anything in the pitch black so I pulled out my phone and turned the flashlight on. It was a tunnel completely lined in concrete, so it was definitely there on purpose, but where did it lead? I just knew that I had to go further in to find my way out, and the door slammed shut behind me so I really didn’t have a choice anyway. I had to stay hunched over to walk through the tunnel, which was very uncomfortable, but I really didn’t want to crawl on concrete, so I didn’t have much of a choice.
After walking for what felt like forever, I finally saw a faint light up ahead. I sped up a little, looking forward to being able to stand upright for the first time since I started the journey. Finally, making it to the light, there was an opening just big enough for me to stand up and stretch. Off of the opening, there were two other tunnels and a set of stairs leading up to another doorway. Not wanting to stay hunched over any longer, I chose the stairs. I got to the top and pushed the door open. I was outside, but I wasn’t in my little town anymore, I had no idea where I was now, but I was at least outside. I started to walk out into the fresh air a bit more and looked around, there were no other buildings in site. At that point, I thought maybe I should go back in and try one of the other tunnels, back be damned, but when I turned around, the library was gone. It had vanished into no where and now I was stuck in a big, open field with no idea how to get back home.
Standing in this field, I feel a sense of calm come over me, like I was always meant to be here, but where is here? The only thing I can do is start walking. There is nothing in view, but surely there has to be something, somewhere. I walked away from where the library had been standing just moments ago, hoping to find some sort of sign of life. After walking for what seemed like forever and there being no visible shift in the daylight, I finally came upon a small town. I walked into the first café I saw and ordered just a water. I had no money with me, so free water was all I could get, plus I was hoping that everything that was happening was just a dehydrated hallucination. Or, maybe it was all a nightmare and I was actually asleep in my bed at home. I pinched myself, it hurt, not a dream.
After finishing up my 4th glass of water, I could tell that the staff at the café were growing irritated with me as I was taking up space, but not actually buying anything. I set my glass down, collected my thoughts and decided to go see what else this mystery town had to offer, hoping there was someone who could help me. I walked and noticed all the things a small town would typically have, all locally owned shops; a hardware store, a grocery store, a flower shop, and a library. Was this is, could I go in there and get transported back home like I had been brought here by the library there? There was only one way to find out.
I pulled the door open and walked in to the little library, noticing the librarian looked a lot like the one back home. I walked up to the front desk, the little old lady staring back at me from above her rimmed glasses.
“How are you here?” She asked me, obviously recognizing who I was.
“I don’t even know how to explain it. I went looking in the library back home, I went into the back room, there was a tunnel, and then I was here. How are you here?” I asked all in one breath, speaking as low as I could because, though there was no one else in the library, I was still afraid someone would hear us talking.
“I was working in the back office when that new man in town came in and he knocked me hard on the back of the head, when I woke up, I was here.” Her eyes glazed over with tears as she was telling me this.
“Before I went in the tunnel, I tried to send emails on the computer and realized my email address didn’t exist anymore, and then I got some service on my phone and tried to call my mom, but she didn’t know who I was. It was like I was erased from that existence.” I blurted this all out faster than I had intended to.
The librarian looked at me, it seemed she wanted to respond, but she didn’t know what to say. She just grabbed my hand and led me to the back of the library to show me a room with a couple of bunks to sleep on. She told me to get some rest, that I could stay there with her because this was our home now until we could figure out what was going on. I wanted to protest, I wanted to start trying to unravel this mystery as soon as possible, but the comfort of having someone familiar there washed over me and I suddenly realized how exhausted I actually was. I took a couple of steps into the room, turned to smile at the librarian and she told me to rest as long as I needed, then we would get to work.
I slept for what felt like eternity, when I woke up, it was the next day and the librarian was back at the front desk, waiting for people to come into the library, though it seemed no one did in this town. I walked up to her, startling her a little in the silence. I told her I was going to start looking around in the archives of the library, trying to figure out where we were, how we got here and how we could get back to our home. The problem though, was that I didn’t know if I actually wanted to go back. I felt like this was that fresh start I needed, in a place where I could maybe fit in. I could get a job, a small apartment and live a life I cold only dream of. Until I figured that out though, I had to keep searching, at least for the librarian.
After hours of digging through every book and every record I could, my eyes were starting to cross from staring at so many papers and I was starting to cough from inhaling so much dust. I didn’t know what had happened or how to get back home, but I at least figured out where we were. I can’t remember the name of the town now, but I do remember that it was a tow for people like me; people that were outcasts and that didn’t fit in anywhere else, people who were looking for a new start. It was composed of people who, like me, didn’t talk much with their families and were bullied in school for being different. I guess that’s why I felt a sense of calm come over me when I had first arrived here.
I told the librarian what I had found and she started crying. She didn’t belong here, I could tell that she was stressed being here and didn’t feel the calm that I had felt by being here. I held her hand and told her that I was going to keep searching and I wouldn’t stop looking until I found a way to get her back home. With that, I left the library and went searching elsewhere. Now, the librarian had given me a little bit of money so I could get something to eat from the café so they wouldn’t get at me again, but I wasn’t hungry so I headed to the flower shop to get a small bouquet to maybe bring some joy into the dusty old library. That’s when I saw him, the man that showed up in my hometown right before I left. Was he like me? Was he an outcast that didn’t know where to turn and found this place so he was now bringing people here? It was time to get answers.
“Who are you and where am I? Why am I here?” I asked the man, not expecting the voice that came out of him.
“Well, hello Cristal, I was wondering when I would get to officially meet you. My name is Kazaar and this is a place where the outsiders and outcasts get to fit in and feel at peace.” His voice was warm and soothing, but something about it still made me uneasy. Maybe it was because I just confronted this man that had been invading my life for so long that I had no knowledge about.
“Well, if it is a place for outcasts, why did you bring the librarian here? She doesn’t belong and she is heartbroken. We have been looking for a way to get home but it seems you’re the only one that might be able to do that.” I said a bit more pointedly that I had meant to, but it got my point across.
“Ah, yes, the librarian…that was actually a mistake, I was just trying to bring you here, but she got a little too close to the situation and I had to bring her here for a bit. I will be sending her back tonight.” He told me as if that would help. “What about you though, Cristal? Do you want to go back?”
I went silent, I didn’t know that answer. I wanted to go back to my family, but I was finding this place pretty nice. Should I stay or should I go back?
“I…What happens if I choose to stay?” I asked, needing some more information.
“Well, my dear, if you choose to stay, you will get your pick of houses that were just built that you get for free, you get your choice of job and you get to be happy. You can even get a pet or two if you want.”
That all sounded so good, so I just simply said “I want to stay.”
I went back to the library to tell the librarian what I learned, I wanted to be the one to give her the news. I walked through the door and up to the desk where she was sitting and she looked at me with tears still in her eyes. I told her what I had learned and let her know that she would be sent home tonight but that I was choosing to stay, this was where I was meant to be. She hugged me and wished me well, telling me that she would be at the library back home if I chose to ever return. Knowing she was going to be there gave me some comfort, but I knew I was where I belonged…or, at least I thought I was.