I’d gone home empty handed after Lorenzo told me he’d research the grimoire. Knowing him, it’d probably take around a week to make any headway, so I decided to just chill around my house and wait for him to call me. That was the plan, anyway. It didn’t quite go like that. After watching some shows on Netflix, I decided to try and sleep. It was only 10am, but I needed a catch up after being awake all night last night and the previous night. I fell asleep easily enough and started dreaming almost immediately.
I was in a forest, surrounded by tall trees, and the ground was covered in moss, mud, and twigs. I looked around slowly, and there was an orange glow to my left, but didn’t see anything else out of the ordinary. I decided I’d walk towards the glow and see what I could find. Twigs crunched underneath my feet, echoing loudly in the silence. I walked for a while, and eventually came out into a clearing.
The clearing was flat, and clear of twigs and leaves. Stones lined the edge of the clearing, making a circle. There were 1…2…5…9…13 of them. This set my mind on edge, as I already had an idea where I was. I swallowed hard and tried to back away; while I was counting, vines had wound their way around my ankles without my notice and rooted me to the spot.. I started to panic and could feel bile rising from my stomach - I’ve always been in control of my dreams, and yet I couldn’t move. A woman approached me from the other side of the clearing and stared directly at me; fear now dominated my mind. I recognised her. She was the one I’d identified as the coven leader on the top of Pendle Hill.
“Kai. How… nice… of you to join us. Won’t you take a seat?” She gestured to the stone in front of me. “My name is Beth. You already know what I am. Be seated and let us chat.” She waved her arms up; a fire roared to life in the centre of the circle, and the vines released my ankles.
I slowly sat down on the stone she gestured to. “Yes. I know what you are. Why did you send that grimoire to me?”
“I chose you because you chose me. You wanted to know the secret. When we were burned, we made a pact: we would not help others gain the gift of magicks unless they specifically sought it out. Now, why have you not continued with the grimoire? Do you not want to become powerful?”
“Well, I don’t read Latin, and whatever other languages are mixed in. I had my friend - Lorenzo, he’s trustworthy, he’ll help - work on translating them, or at least getting me the correct pronunciations so I could read the spells and learn the… magicks? I didn’t want to spend months working on it when you clearly have a plan for next year.” The fear was getting stronger and stronger, I could feel it squeezing my throat the more I spoke. Clearly, I had done something wrong. Could she kill me in my dream?
After a few agonizing moments, she finally responded. “Good.” Beth said. The fear eased a lot, and I could breathe again, just the barest hint of something around my throat now. “Yes, I have a plan. You’ll get the final page of the grimoire later. However, you shouldn’t have involved this Lorenzo child. Not without asking.” She grinned her face-splittingly wide smile again, and increased the fear tenfold. “I AM the leader of the Pendle witches. I decide who gets power.” The fear squeezed my throat again, and this time I could feel invisible fingers crushing my windpipe. “You do not make decisions on your own. It was a good choice but I DECIDE who gets magicks and who doesn’t. I DECIDE who reads the grimoire and who doesn’t. You are MINE and you will defer to me.”
The forest faded to black, and I could feel the tendrils of fear reach out and take hold, even as I lost my senses in the dream world.
I sat bolt upright, gasping for breath. I quickly jumped out of bed and spun in circles, looking for the witch, Beth. She was nowhere to be seen, yet I could still feel the fear and the hand on my throat. Man, that was not a good dream.
Maybe I’d better learn how to defer to Beth, ask in my mind, or in my dreams, before doing anything other than the grimoires instructions. “That’s right… that’s right…” the wind seemed to whisper. It couldn’t be Beth out here in the real world; it was just a crazy dream because of what I saw on Pendle Hill… nobody could have that sort of power.
I decided to ignore the dreams and voices for the next few days. Nothing major happened, just hearing people calling my name while I was alone, and seeing Beth’s face in my ordinary dreams. It’s more like she was reminding me she was there than trying to hurt me. I just needed Lorenzo to hurry up with the research before she got pissy again.
On November 4th, I got a call from Lorenzo. He’d translated some of the spells! He said he hadn’t gotten very far with it, but he’d send me his notes over - I’d already told him the gist of the dream and he promised he wouldn’t distribute it or lose the grimoire, he’d just keep his notes for himself. I don’t think he really believed me, but he’s always good on his word. I told him to come over around 2-3pm but send me the spells over, and I’d get anything we might need to try them out. Lorenzo was immediately against it; he warned me straight away that I didn’t want to get mixed up in any of this based on his research. To be honest, I was more scared of Beth at the moment than anything Lorenzo might have found out.
The spells seemed pretty simple - a spell to cloud people’s sight, a ritual type thing to bring things back to life (specifically small things apparently?), and a spell to see through other people’s eyes. They didn’t require much either, some black candles mostly, and animal blood to draw the runes needed to make the spell work. It did say human blood is better, but I don’t know if I’m ready to draw blood yet. The only complicated one was the bring things back to life spell - you needed a dead animal, some blood, and around half an hour. Without killing an animal myself (I am so not that type of person) or robbing some form of animal shelter where they euthanise pets… where would I get one from? Then a brilliant idea hit me - roadkill! That would work.
It was only 11am when I got the documents from Lorenzo, so I set off to find some roadkill and some blood from the butchers. I already had some black candles because of my ex - she was some Wicca thing, I didn’t really get it (in hindsight, maybe I should have paid more attention to her when she was talking about it). I just liked her because she was a hot goth. I hadn’t gone further than 2 blocks when I found some roadkill - smushed to the road, but not quite old enough to smell yet. I used a carrier bag and a cooler to put it inside the gym bag I thought to bring with me. The butcher’s was another 10 blocks away, and he didn’t give me any hassle over wanting some pig’s blood - I guess a lot of recipes call for pig’s blood for flavouring. Once I got home, I took a closer look at the roadkill - I actually couldn’t identify what animal it used to be. There were wings that looked like pigeon wings, but also spikes like a hedgehog, and a cat’s tail… could it be 3 animals all mashed into one? How could they all have been crushed at the same time? As I thought this, I swear I heard a faint laughing sound, like the voices calling out my name. Clearly Beth knew something. Oh well. Lorenzo would be here soon, so I decided to dig out the black candles, and make sure everything was ready.
A short while later, Lorenzo yelled for me, “Oi, still set on being a dumbass? You’re seriously going to try these spells? I don’t understand why you’re continuing to do this when you’ve already experienced more than enough to stop anybody else.” He walked into my living room and saw the supplies set up. He sighed “Well, I guess that answers that. I brought the grimoire back, just in case. That way, hopefully this Beth lays off you now. Still a dumbass though. Where’d you get all… okay what the hell is… or was… that?!” He pointed at the roadkill.
“Yeah, I’m doing the spells. Remember that hot goth chick, Kathy? She left the candles, got the blood at the butcher’s, and that is roadkill. I didn’t feel like murdering an animal, thanks.” I stared at him until he rolled his eyes. “You gonna stick around and help, or what?”
He nodded. I referred to his notes and got out the grimoire on the first spell I wanted to do - obscure sight - to set up the candles correctly.
“Okay, can you sit opposite me? I’m going to try the obscure sight spell on you, unless you’re too much of a little bitch to let me do magicks on you?” He glared at me, but sat down. “Okay… obscurant aspectum… whoa! Man, your eyes have gone completely black! Can you see?”
“No. Like, I can feel stuff around me, but I might as well be in a void as far as sight is concerned. Can you take it away?” He muttered, unhappily. Clearly someone was salty that I could do the magicks.
“Erm, let me try. What’s the Latin word for undo? Or “remove my magic”? “Break my magic?” I’ll try that, or maybe I should just repeat the spell, might undo it.”
“Conteram mea magica? That’s break my magic.” He sounded very sceptical.
“Okay… conteram mea magica?” I cheered, once Lorenzo’s eyes turned back to normal. “At least we know now. Okay, I’m still wanting to try the raise the dead one, that’s why I got the roadkill and blood. You gonna let me try, or just throw my roadkill away?”
“That roadkill doesn’t even look like an animal. I’ll let you do it, I guess, cause I guess it isn’t even gonna work. Just expect me to say I told you so when it inevitably goes wrong or doesn’t work, okay?” Lorenzo sat down on my couch and just watched me set things up.
First, I had to draw a pentagram in blood (thank god for cheap linoleum that can be wiped clean) and place candles at each point of the pentagram. Then place the animal in the centre, and say the ritual words 13 times. That’s what Lorenzo’s research said, anyway. I could feel a smug, yet content, feeling in the back of my mind, maybe Beth approved, presuming she was the voices and feelings I’d been getting - or she knew how badly I was about to mess up. As I opened the blood, the lid slipped, the plastic somehow slicing my palm. I set the blood down carefully, not realising a good amount of my blood had mixed in; I was too busy trying to find the page with the healing spell on it.
“Dammit, Lorenzo, help me find that healing spell! The lid managed to cut me, even though it’s plastic, I’ll be having words with that butcher… never mind, I found it. Sana vulnera mea. God, I hope this doesn’t happen again, it’s the same place I got cut with the glass.” I sighed and started using my finger to draw the pentagram in blood. “You reckon it has to be perfect, or just close enough?”
“From what I could tell, it’s the shape that matters, not whether it’s perfect, as long as there’s no gaps in the lines of blood. For the small stuff anyway. Bigger stuff requires more precision, and more expensive and rare components. At least for what was available at the time” Lorenzo rolled his eyes as I drew a slightly wonky pentagram, but close enough to the diagram in the grimoire.
I placed the roadkill in the middle of the pentagram and sat cross legged in front of the pentagram. I lit the candles with my magicks, and then settled in to chant. As I meditated to get the power flowing, I could feel fear snake up my back and implant itself in my mind. I couldn’t move now even if I wanted to, and I had to continue with the ritual if I wanted to live. I could feel the power rush into me, like the first hit of a drug after a long period of being clean, and I knew I was ready. I glanced at the words I needed to chant and had the small amount of blood left ready to mark on the cup or the floor the amount of times I chanted - I needed to say it exactly 13 times. I triple checked the pronunciation Lorenzo had given me, along with the meaning: fahc see-cuh egg-oh tay, pro-duke-am veet-am - do as I will, bring forth life
“fac sicut ego te, producam vitam…” I marked the edge of the cup while mentally counting, “fac sicut ego te, producam vitam…” I marked again, “fac sicut ego te, producam vitam…”
After the 5th time, I felt the power flowing from me to the roadkill, and Beth started to cackle, as if she was delighted, but also… kinda cruel, as if she was playing a prank. I glanced over to Lorenzo to see if he’d heard, but he just raised his eyebrow at me while I continued chanting. Once I’d said the ritual text for the 7th time, the roadkill started filling out, like it was undoing the damage caused by the car. But it looked… wrong. It was a cat’s body, long tail, black fur, and its face was feline too. But it had the wings of a pigeon that were stretching out, all grey and white, and filling out to be proportionate to the cats body. Then spikes all along its back like the hedgehog I thought I recognised in it started to sprout along. The blood drained from my face and the fear set in without Beth’s help… What the hell was I raising? After the 9th time, I looked at Lorenzo again and could see the same panicked look on his face, and I tried to stop. I promise, I did. But as Beth laughed harder, she influenced my mind with her fear power and forced me to keep going, 10th time done, 11th, 12th… and the final 13th time.
The second the line was chanted for the 13th time, the fear withdrew, and I sat panting, staring at the creature I’d revived. It was breathing, moving its wings in a slight flutter, and it looked alive. But it was so, so wrong, not meant to exist. I glanced at Lorenzo who looked probably about as terrified as I did.
“Lorenzo… What have I done? I couldn’t stop! She was in my head, laughing and gripping me in fear, I tried to stop sp-speaking, I promise!” I’d started crying and gasping for breath at this point, “What do I do? How do I get rid of it?” I looked at the creature and waited for his answer. “Maybe that thing I did before? What was it… conteram mea magica? Conteram mea magica? Oh my god, please work, please work… conteram mea magica!”
Needless to say, it didn’t work. I was outright terrified now. I scooped up the cat/hedgehog/pigeon thing and put it into a cardboard box before turning to Lorenzo. I knew what needed to be done now.
“We need to burn that grimoire NOW. This is beyond fucked up. I’m not doing any more of those spells. I couldn’t stop. We need to get rid of it now.” I turned to the creature I raised, and told it to stay still, as it was trying to climb out of the box, and surprisingly it stayed. “Hmm, cat must have been trained. Cool.”
I grabbed the grimoire and headed out to the courtyard, where there’s a fire pit. I dropped the grimoire into it, and then dropped match after match after match into the fire pit, making sure the grimoire caught alight. I could feel the fear snake away from my mind, and felt free again. I could finally breathe. I asked Lorenzo to take the creature and either keep it or find out how to get rid of it humanely. I needed a week of sleep after that ordeal.
For the next few days, I felt as free as a bird, I could laugh, I could smile, I never had to worry about magicks ever again. Except on November 9th, that damn grimoire was sitting on my bed again, not a scorch mark in sight.