When coldness wraps this suffering clay,
Ah! whither strays the immortal mind?
It cannot die, it cannot stay,
But leaves its darken’d dust behind.
Then, unembodied, doth it trace
By steps each planet’s heavenly way?
Or fill at once the realms of space,
A thing of eyes, that all survey?
When Coldness Wraps This Suffering Clay, Paragraph one.
Lord Byron, 1815
~
I stared at the letter in my hands.
This had been turning into a fun night, a good one even, but here the letter came like wine spilled onto a white dress.
It had an ornate seal on it, as if it had been transported from the fucking renaissance. I hated when mom did this. We haven’t talked since our big fight four years ago, and now she sends this? I’m not sure if it was her house, her fortune, or her pride that made her act this way.
My sister May and I had escaped my mother by moving out of state years ago, and I could only guess what tactic she was trying now. I sighed and stood up from the couch. I walked to the kitchen and used a steak knife to try cutting it open. No, mom. I don’t, and never will, own a letter opener.
The thing was giving me trouble for some reason. I jiggled the edge to get the knife in, but something suddenly caught my eye and distracted me. Was there someone standing outside of the front window? Some kind of pale looking figure in a red suit. It seemed like he was… smiling?
“Shit–” I cursed as the tip of the knife slipped and caught my hand.
I dropped the now open letter on the countertop as blood dripped onto it. I grabbed my injured hand with the other, but the cut was already bleeding over. I guess it was one of those knicks that hit just right.
“Pay attention when you’re holding a knife.” I said to myself.
I brought my hand to the sink and ran the water. It ran red. My girlfriend was going to kill me if she knew I had hurt myself, so I was cautious as I reached into a nearby drawer.
“Where’s the bandaids?” I muttered, but there were none to be found, so I used a paper towel and tape instead. That’s a good metaphor for my whole life really.
I remembered the odd person that I had seen, and turned to check if they were still there, but there was nothing. I blinked a few times in befuddlement.
“Jumping at shadows like an idiot.” I muttered.
I just stood there for a second. I went and checked the peephole on the door, but no one was there. The whole thing left me unsettled, so I tried to clean up the kitchen and get ready for dinner. It was hard with one hand wrapped in a mock-up bandage.
All I could do was stare at the open letter anyway. I pulled it out of the sleeve with my uninjured hand. There were two plane tickets alongside a letter. Blood had seeped onto the first line of fancy-ass script, but I could still read it.
Magdalene,
Jesus I hate that name. No pun intended.
I hope that my letter finds you well. I had the carriers get it to you as fast as they could, by the desired date, August 7th.
It was the end of September. “A phone call would have worked. Hell, even an email?” I muttered.
I will hurry on to the news. I am in the hospital. I am pained beyond the understanding of the doctors.
I read that line a few times, trying to decide if she was actually hospitalized. It was hard to say with her. It sounds cruel, but she would be this kind of manipulative if it got her what she wanted. She wasn’t below grandiose metaphors for dramatic effect. Once, she told me that the house was on fire to get me to come back home when I stayed out too late. It wasn’t.
You likely think that I am not being serious, manipulative even. I admit that some instances of your father’s and I’s marriage may have led you to believe this way, but this is not some grandiose metaphor. There are things about our relationship I wish to discuss with you in person.
The doctors say that it may be terminal, but have not been able to give me a timeline on my potential release. I may be here for months. As such, I may need you to watch over our home in the meantime.
I hope that this goes without my saying, but I wish to see you and Mabel. We may have our differences, but you are my children. Come back home. Flight tickets are attached. My private jet will accept these at any time of which you may receive them. It will be waiting at your nearest airport. Use one for yourself, and one for Mabel. Signed, Your Mother.
She was sick? What would keep her in the hospital like that? I realized that I was gripping the letter. My knuckles were white, and I let go. My emotions were confused to say the least. I didn’t get much time to think about it.
The front door opened with a slam. It had hit the wall, and almost made my heart stop. It slowed to a creak as it began to close. When I heard the voice calling out, I rolled my eyes.
“Honey, I’m hooooooome.” Carol sing-songed, carrying armloads of groceries.
“Did you just kick the damn door open? You scared the hell out of me. They’re going to keep our deposit if you keep damaging the wall.” I said.
Carol’s bright, short hair bounced as she came to a stop in the doorway. The front door faced the kitchen, so my shambled state was in full view.
“Ah they’ll keep the deposit anyway…” She trailed off as soon as she saw me.
It must have been a terrible sight. Me covered in blood, the kitchen in shambles, distress written on my face like a billboard. Instant worry crossed onto Carol’s face, like a Times Square ad changing. She immediately dropped the groceries and ran to me. The god damned milk spilled everywhere. Was there a watermelon in there too? Yep, and that baby exploded all over the floor.
“Meg? What happened?”
“I’m just, I’m fine.” I managed, but my damn eyes watered up anyway. She followed my gaze to the back of the room, to the now destroyed milk carton. She’s lucky it spilled on tile.
“Hey, no need to cry over spilt milk.” Carol said. I punched her in the arm.
“Don’t be stupid.” I said.
“Man, I never thought that being called stupid would be so hot.”
My smile grew, and I took a deep breath. Carol always knew what to say. She soon saw the letter. “What’s this?”
“Careful, it’s from my mother. It might bite you.”
“A letter? I thought she wanted to keep her distance after everything that happened,” Carol read it. “Oh, in the hospital?”
Her genuine eyes looked at me, and I couldn’t handle it. Tears fought their way out like wild cats out of a sack. Carol made me sit on the couch while she cleaned everything up. She had me swaddled with a cup of hot tea before I could so much as use a tissue. It was hard to stay sad with her around.
“Don’t worry,” She said. “I managed to pull most of the groceries from the brink of– Uh, sorry Megan. I meant–”
“It’s all right, don’t be sorry. I’m not even sure why I’m crying. It’s probably just surprise is all.”
“It’s okay, I imagine that your emotions are quite confused about now.”
“Yes they are. All of these stupid nightmares are probably getting to me too. This just sent me over the edge. My mother has always been, well you know.”
“Afraid to use a phone for one,” Carol said. “She’d probably get contaminated by the 5G. Also tendencies towards utter selfishness, a side of pride and self centeredness. Wait, those are all the same, aren’t they.”
“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘bitch’. Much simpler. My mother brings new characteristics to that every day.”
“You might be right.” Carol said.
“Did I just hear you admit that someone is a bitch?” I said.
“Nah, it must have been the wind. So, are you going to babysit her house?”
“I don’t know. My smarter side says no way, but…”
“But?” Carol offered.
I sighed. “She is my mother.”
“Fair enough. I can stay here and try to cover some of your shifts at work.”
“No. We’ll all go, despite the intentional lack of three tickets. I’m not letting her delicate sensibilities separate us. Don’t worry. She wants us there so she doesn’t have much sway.”
My phone started to vibrate. I knew who it was right away by the picture. It was a purple butterfly with a rainbow background. My eyes went wide. “Shit– it’s past five. I’m late picking up May again. Shit.” Carol grimaced.
“May is gonna to kill you in your sleep. She’s the scariest fourth grader I’ve ever met.” She said.
I jumped out of my blanket cocoon and nearly spilled my tea as I bumped the table. I almost tripped on the blanket dragging it behind me too.
“Dinner will be done by the time you get back.” Carol called.
I answered May’s phone call as I ran upstairs. “You’re late. Again.” She said flatly.
“Hey, May– I’m so sorry. Just lost track of time.” I said. I grabbed my jacket, keys, and un-frizzled my hair. I was a damned mess, but I had to go. As I got back downstairs, I went straight for the townhouse garage.
“I’m on my way right now, okay? I’ll see you soon.”
“Okay. Bye.” She said, and hung up.
Whether you were you god or man, if you fucked up, you would know May’s wrath.
Carol stood by the door and caught my arm as I passed. She was deceptively strong so I was pulled back. Ever graceful though, Carol turned the extra momentum into a dance twirl. She even dipped me. “Stop, I have to go.” I said between laughs.
“I’m afraid I can’t let you leave, miss. It’s dangerous to go out alone.” She said.
I raised an eyebrow. “Dangerous for whom?”
“For anyone that got in your way, obviously.”
“That’s right, so you’d better watch yourself. How about this, then you can let me go.” I leaned in and gave her a kiss. Carol stepped back and bowed.
“With such persuasive arguments, I can do nothing but wish you a fair journey. I would say drive safe, but we all know how safe of a driver you are– Ow!” The pillow hit her right in the face.
“Those belong on the couch, not by the garage door, and they are not for throwing.” Carol said.
“What are throw pillows even for if you don’t throw them?” I said and strolled out with a smile.
~
I drove the six or so miles to May’s soccer practice. Well, the practice was already over as previously mentioned, and because of hellish traffic, I was nearly a half hour late total by the time I got there.
“I should have just come earlier. I didn’t even start dinner.” I muttered.
It had started raining again, plastering autumn leaves to the reflective street. I could see May sitting against a tree. Even from here, I could tell that Carol was right. May was definitely planning my demise. She didn’t even look up as my headlights drifted onto her from the parking lot. There was no one else left at the school. Not even a teacher waiting for me, which was a little odd.
I couldn’t help but feel bad of course. Not only for this, but for everything else May had been through at such a young age. When Carol and I had left our home state, we eventually brought May with us. She wanted to come because my mother is not a nice person. The courts agreed. However, there was a time where Carol and I were finalizing proceedings, and May was still living with my mother. I’ve been realizing just how often she was alone, and now by being late, I couldn’t help but feel that I had contributed to it.
I bit my lip and rolled down the window. “Hey May. Um, where’s your coach?” I said hesitantly.
She stood, and had her pull-over jersey and backpack on. She was number ‘11’ on the team. She had her favorite purple raincoat too, but even with it, a hood, and the cover of a tree, she was soaked. May opened the door and got on my front seat with a plop. Her hair hung over her eyes like a curtain. It would have made Sadako take a step back.
“Coach had to leave. You took too long. He called you.” May said.
“He still left you anyway? Jeez, I’m really sorry, May. I hope you weren’t alone too long. I should’ve brought you a towel too. I really should have just come by earlier.” I said.
I set the car in reverse and put us on track to get home. The windshield wipers thumped against the rain.
“So, how was your game?” I said after a while.
“We lost. Then it started raining.” May said.
“Oh.”
May leaned against the window. I turned on the radio. Loud death metal blasted out, and I flicked it off. I’ll have to thank Carol for that little prank… I thought.
“Hey, I was enjoying that.” May said.
“Really? Okay.” I said and turned it to a more reasonable volume. I swallowed, trying to think of how to tell her. I had to tell May the news somehow.
“May, I think we’re going to have to go visit mom soon. She’s, well, not doing too good. We got a letter–”
“You don’t have to treat me like a kid. I already know. Grant called me while I was waiting for you. He said he called you like a thousand times.”
I checked my missed calls, and sure enough, the number of missed calls from Grant might have added up to a thousand. A few from the coach were sprinkled in there too. How had I missed those? I dropped my phone and corrected back to the center of the road.
“Uh, sorry, May.”
“Don’t text and drive, idiot.” She said with authority.
“Yeah. You’re right.” Add that to my stupid points for today. She reached down and picked up my phone and put it in her backpack. If anyone had gotten mom’s charisma, it was probably May.
~
We arrived back home to the wonderful smell of Carol’s cooking. It was a fall-favorite of ours, a vegetable ditalini soup with a side of fresh baked garlic bread that Carol and I had made this morning. May gave Carol a half hearted hug.
“Ah, I was wondering when the lady of the house would return.” Carol said in a fake English accent. She hugged May the best she could with one occupied hand.
“Hi Carol,” May said. She glanced at the both of us. “Can I be dismissed?”
“Well we haven’t started yet, so you can go upstairs until then okay?” Carol said with a laugh.
“Okay.” May started up the stairs.
“Hey,” Carol called. “Where’s your sister’s hug?”
May came back downstairs, gave me a hug, then disappeared up to her room. Carol winced.
“She’s pretty mad, huh?”
“Yep. She has the right.” I sighed.
“Well dinner is about ready, but we’ll let it simmer to give her some time. Did you tell her? Did she take the news hard?” Carol said.
“I couldn’t really tell. I guess Grant called her after he couldn’t get ahold of me. He called me a bunch of times. I sometimes wonder why I even have a phone when I miss so many calls.”
“I’m glad that he waited this long to call. Jeez.” Carol scoffed.
“Yeah, it’s a little odd.”
“Do you think your mom has gotten worse?”
“Maybe, I don’t know.”
“Speaking of phone calls, we’ll both have to get work off to visit her. Think it’ll fly with our boss?” Carol said.
“Yeah, we never take time. I’ll go give Grant a call.” I said.
“Got it. I’ll call Greg while you do that.”
Carol gave me a reassuring pat on the back as I pulled my phone from May’s backpack. I went up to Carol’s and my room and dialed Grant. I readied myself. I curled the ends of my hair as I listened to the dial tones. There was an odd crackle, a whisper that almost sounded like a word.
“Smile…”
Did I hear something? I thought. As soon as it was connected, Grant picked up.
“Hello?” I said after a moment.
“You’re late, Miss Audlin,” He said. “Are you aware that I called you six times?”
“Yes. I missed the calls. I’m sorry, but why didn’t you just call us a month ago?”
“Because your mother is set in her ideals. So I decided that I should do this quietly to make sure that you can fulfill your mother’s wishes.”
“How is she?” I asked. Grant paused.
“Not well. Alive of course, but not well. Shortly after she sent you those letters, her hospital stay was extended by several weeks. We had already been taking care of her at home for a number of weeks before that. It is as though she is staying as well as she can simply to see you two before she needs treatment.”
I pinched my brow and sighed. “Fine. We’ll come. We should be there in a day or so.”
“Very good. I will tell your mother that you and Miss Mabel are on your way.”
“And you can tell her that Carol’s coming too. I’m not leaving my partner behind.” I said.
“As you wish. See you soon, Miss Audlin.”
Click.
I lowered my phone. My door creaked as May pushed it open. I took a deep breath and wiped the frustration from my face. “Hey May, ready for dinner?” I said.
May didn’t look at me, but nodded. She didn’t really seem angry anymore, just worried.
And lonely, I’d bet. I thought.
We went downstairs. May brought one of her favorite dolls down, a purple crochet butterfly made by Carol’s friend. Dinner was delicious as always, but I couldn’t really focus on it. There was a chill over the table. Even Carol’s cheerfulness couldn’t quite chase it away.
“So, we’re going to go see mom,” I said. “We’ll pack up tonight and head straight for the airport tomorrow. I’ll excuse you from school in the morning, May. That all sound good?”
“Sounds good to me.” Carol said.
“Are you coming with?” May said to Carol.
“I am, but only if you are.” May nodded, and gave a little smile. We ate quietly for a while. May slowed her eating before even half way, but Carol leaned in and played airplane. She made airplane noises with a spoonful of stew.
“Uh oh, May, here it comes,” She imitated walkie-talkie static. “This is Spoon One to air traffic control. We need permission to land on the runway immediately. We’re carrying some tasty cargo ready for deployment. Over.”
“Access denied.” May mumbled.
“Fine, you leave us no choice, air traffic control. You’ve betrayed us for the last time. Laying down vengeful fire.”
Carol imitated a machine gun sound and began tickling May, who squealed and ran from the table. Carol stopped halfway up the stairs after her to realize that she still had the spoon, and returned it to May’s bowl. I blinked slowly, looking to where the spoon’s contents had spilled onto my shirt. It already had blood on it anyway. Carol winked at me and ran up after May.
“Don’t forget to pack your Switch charger, May!” I called. I heard them playing upstairs. Even though they weren’t that far from me, the silence became suffocating. The quiet was shattered by the one thing I was given from my dad.
Ding, ding.
The silver grandfather clock in our living room chimed the hour with a tinkling song that I was familiar with. I had heard that song a thousand times in my childhood. The clock wasn’t too large as these things go. Maybe five feet tall, but the silver accents amongst our mismatched décor was quite outlandish. The clock tick tacked away as I watched it. It had been the one thing that my dad made certain to give me when he passed.
I don’t know why he gave it to me. It hadn’t been too fun to move across the country either, but really that whole experience had been hell. Honestly, I probably should have just left it there and hung a bright neon sign outside instead saying, come steal from me!, but I couldn’t just get rid of it.
However, it reminded me of one of my mother’s and I’s biggest fights. She had sworn me off of her will, and I had sworn her out of my life.
Now, I’m going back there. I quieted the coldness of my thoughts and just sat. I ate my now cold soup, as the night went on, alone.
When all else was said and done, we used the rest of the night to pack up our things. Me more so, as I couldn’t seem to get much sleep. I made sure to pack May’s Switch charger. When the morning came, we got into our car to go. I relinquished driving to Carol. I figured that May would be sleeping in the car for how early we got up, but she was bright and excited even.
“Can I play my Switch?” May asked.
“Wait until we get on the plane. You don’t want the battery to die, do you?” I said.
“Okay. Can I get a kid’s meal?” May said. I sighed.
“That sounds like a great idea, I wouldn’t mind one myself.” Carol said.
“Hey, you can’t get one!” May protested.
“And why’s that?”
“You’re an adult. So you get boring adult meals.” May said.
“I heard that they had adult ones once.” Carol said.
“An adult meal is an adult meal. You can’t get a kid’s meal.” May said flatly.
“She’s got you there,” I said. I turned towards the back seat. “And probably not a kid’s meal this time, May. I don’t even know if they’d let you bring the toy on the plane.”
“They probably would–” Carol stopped when I narrowed my eyes. “Wouldn’t. I suppose your sister is right, but we can still get something yummy on the way, okay?”
May nodded, and held her purple butterfly close. She still wouldn’t look at me, but I was happy to see her excited again.
“How about a hot dog from a gas station?” I offered.
May and Carol gave me the same disgusted look.
“What?” I asked.
“Hot dogs are gross. Do you even know how they’re made?” May said.
“I think you’re the first kid I’ve met to have correct opinions.” Carol and May high-fived each other as I rolled my eyes.
“Keep your eyes on the road,” I said. “So fine, what would your glorious majestys’ prefer then? Forgive my lowly suggestion.”
“Kid’s meal!” May shouted.
I sighed. It was relatively cheap, and wouldn’t matter this time. Plus, I owed her. May knew how to get what she wanted, so sometimes you just have to give up.
“All right, fine. Left we go then, but only because I was late in picking you up yesterday.”
Carol made the left and soon pulled into the McDonald’s drive-through. Until a couple of years ago, they had always asked us whether the toy was ‘boy or girl’, and May had always preferred the ‘boy’ ones, but now they were just by themes. It looked like ‘robots’ and ‘fairies’ today? I don’t really know.
May was delighted as we made our way to the airport. Her toy was one of the transforming robots. I was sure it would be forgotten in her room once we got back, but it would last for the trip at least.
We eventually made it to the airport and parked in the mass area, but once we showed our tickets to an usher, we were informed to move our car to the private lot. My 2001 rust bucket looked very out of place amongst all of the Teslas, Jaguars, and other exotic flauntings of wealth.
Our luggage rolled across the pavement as we were led towards the private jet. I could tell that it was my mother’s immediately. She had always preferred a sort of chic class, and the rose gold of the jet’s exterior advertised that to all. If they weren’t blinded by the reflection first of course.
“Woah, it looks like a flying fountain pen!” May said with excitement. She transformed her robot toy into its jet form. Someone was waiting for us at the stairs.
“So nice to see both Miss Audlins in attendance.” A man in a tuxedo said.
There were other staff members around the plane, getting in last preparations. I glanced at one in particular. He was the only one wearing a red uniform. His face seemed oddly singed. He slowly turned until I saw a glinting eye and curved smile.
“Miss Audlin?” The attendant said.
“Sorry, yeah just call me Megan.” I said, broken out of my trance. I glanced back, but the man was gone.
“Very well, Miss Megan,” He gestured aboard the jet. “My name is Frederick. I’ll be taking care of you for this flight. Grant would have been here instead, but he is taking care of your mother back home. Leave your luggage here and I will get it aboard. You may take your carry-on.”
“Hi, I’m May. Can I take these on the flying pen, Freddy?” May said, holding her robot and butterfly high for him to see. Frederick leaned down with a feigned investigation.
“Hmm, yes, I think that they pass the flight check. That would be all right. Thank you for asking so kindly.”
“Yay!” May stomped aboard the jet like an angry Queen.
“Someone’s in a better mood…” Carol chuckled.
“It’s totally the kid’s meal.” I said.
“Yep.”
We walked aboard after her, as I mentally readied myself for the journey ahead.
~
“You are now free to move about the cabin.” The intercom chimed. May was practically out of her seat before the message. She stared out of the large side windows with awe.
The jet’s interior was almost as shiny as the outside. A cushioned white padding went halfway up the walls followed by a red, marble-like texture for the rest. You could sink into the seats if you weren’t careful, like the clouds from outside had been upholstered here. The floor was even a cushioned white carpet.
“It’s like riding in a flying Sistine Chapel.” Carol said.
“You don’t know the half of it.” I said.
“Hello, ladies. Do you require anything?” Frederick asked.
“What do you have?” May asked.
“Imagine it and I will make it so.” Frederick said.
“I’ll take a diet coke.” Carol said.
I raised an eyebrow. “We’re in a flying Sistine Chapel and all you can think of ordering is a Diet Coke?” I said.
“What? Should I ask for the ‘deepest red’ or something?”
We chuckled.
“I want cake,” May said. “Oh and a diet coke.”
I gave her a look. She frowned.
“No caffeine. And I seriously doubt that they have cake, May.”
“Your sister is right, Miss May. It would depend on the flavor of cake you require.”
“Chocolate!”
“We can do that.” Frederick said.
I sighed. Of course they had fucking cake.
“But it has to be okay with your older sister.” Frederick added quickly.
You could see May gathering up her most persuasive begging. I looked to Carol for support, but she was just smiling.
“Fine. One small slice. Understand? And you have to eat it at the table settings in the front, and no caffeine.”
“Chocolate has caffeine.” Carol muttered. I ignored her.
“We still have plenty of beverage options, Miss May. Perhaps you could consider your favorite fruit juice? Or maybe flavored water? Would you like anything, Miss Megan?”
“Just water, please.” I said.
“Do you have apple?” May said.
“Apple juice, or apples themselves?” Frederick said with a grin. May thought for a moment. “Both!”
Frederick chuckled.
“We do have both at that, but we don’t want to give you too much before your dinner. I’m sure that your sister would prefer you to be full on that.”
May looked at me, and I just raised an eyebrow.
“Okay.” May said with some dejection. She took Frederick’s hand, which surprised him.
“Are we going somewhere?” He said with a chuckle.
“You’re bringing me to the cake, Freddy.” May said, and they passed through the jet’s divider curtain.
I took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of my nose. Carol stood up and plopped down next to me, placing a hand on my back.
“Damn, but your mom knows how to spoil a few ladies.” She said.
“Spoiling things is her main talent. And I mean that in all of its various clever implications.”
Carol chuckled.
“That’s a good one. On another note, are you doing okay?”
“Not really,” I said. “I wouldn’t be sure where to start. I didn’t get any sleep last night though, I can tell you that.”
Carol nodded.
“Well if you can put it into words, give me a holler. I know this must be tough for you.”
“I will. Thanks, Carol, really.”
Later that night, we had a dinner that may as well have been straight from a five star restaurant. They must have a full kitchen staff hidden back there.
I idly wondered how they would actually fit a whole kitchen on this little jet, or how that was actually safe or legal, but I suppose if anyone can ignore regulations, it would be the rich. May wanted more cake too, but I shot that one down quickly. It was hard enough for me to sleep without her bouncing around in the wee hours.
As for sleeping arrangements, the seats could be folded back somewhat. They were promptly dressed with pillows by Frederick. I had to use some underhanded tactics to convince Carol to use a set of seats for her own. I’d rather not wake May or Carol again. I knew that I kept them up sometimes with my flailing nightmares. Waking up screaming tended to do that.
We kept some of the window covers open to see the sky. The moon was bright above the clouds, but I didn’t manage to fall asleep until 3 am.
I dreamt of my mom’s mansion. My childhood home. That’s how the nightmares always started. You would think that my brain would be able to recognize that and wake me up beforehand, but here we are.
The reoccurring nightmare was not only of the house, but of a particular part of the house. It was one of those dark, long corridors that I was so scared of as a child. Every floor has at least two. However, it was always the one on the third floor that I dreamt of. So here I was now, in my dream, standing at the edge of that same ethereal hallway.
The dream was always the same.
I knew even as I dreamed that I was supposed to approach the door at the end. A door of deep black paint. It seemed to draw all color into it to make the world more gray. The center had a golden, moon shaped plate, surrounded by star beams.
The hallway seemed to bend and shift like a living thing, but most disturbing of all, was the song that always played. That soft, tinkling song drifting from the inside of the door. It was the same song that my dad’s clock played every other hour. Echoing softly. Drawing me in.
I walked down the hallway. The deeper I went, the more I felt swallowed by a hypnotic beast. The floor groaned with each footfall. I came closer and closer. It was the height of terror, but also the greatest relief to reach the door. It meant that the nightmare was over.
This time however, something in the dream changed for the first time.
The door creaked open.
Something was off. Something was different. I could feel my mind screaming at me to wake up, wake up, but I couldn’t. The hinges creaked as it swung. It seemed to take forever, yet was going too fast.
The walls inside were lined with shelves of old objects. Porcelain dolls, strange talismans, and all sorts of ancient knick knacks I’d never seen my mother display. I couldn’t acknowledge everything on the shelves. It was the thing in the center that stole my attention.
It was dark, and evil, I somehow knew. It towered over me. I felt like a child again, small, and afraid.
The hideous thing sat at a table too small for it. Hell, the room seemed too small for it. A light hanging from the ceiling careened around the thing with each small movement. I could see… wings? Leathery, fleshy wings, eyes embossed upon them that reflected the light. The revealed skin was boiling red as if scalded by intense heat.
On the tabletop was a silver music box with a crank. With the door open, its song was clearer. I was boggled that something so loud could come from such a little thing. The monster inside turned its crank round and round with a mutilated limb.
“Hello, little girl.” A dark, deep tone muttered. It’s voice seemed like several speaking at once.
“Hello.” It was my voice, but I sounded like a child.
“Why don’t you come closer, little inkling? Sit at my table?”
“My mother says I’m not supposed to come to the third floor.”
“And yet you have. Why is that? Were you drawn by my song? Do you like it?”
“I do,” I said. “I’ve heard it in the house at night. From father’s clock too. It’s pretty.” I said.
“Thank you. I made it myself, for your family, long ago. It’s an anthem of my people below the earth. There are lyrics to this song. Do you know them?”
I shook my head.
“Then allow me to sing it for you,” The thing’s limbs creaked as it moved, like snapping twigs or straining beams.
Drifting dark, oh drifting waves.
Borrow time and grant me more.
I was found upon the shore.
Lost at sea with less than light.
Now we fade into the night.
“That is the first verse. Do you like it?” The thing muttered.
I nodded politely. The thing chuckled with a broken sound and I saw a glint of teeth– or something like teeth. Knuckles and joints popped and crackled.
“Would you be a dear and come play this box for me? I love my little tune, but I’ve been keeping at it for much too long. If someone helps me play it, I can be free.”
I nodded and stepped to enter. My fear seemed gone like melted ice. There was no reason to fear, no reason to not just give in.
But before I could take more than a step, I heard a shout. “Megan! Don’t go.” Was that May’s voice? The cry came from down the hall. “It’s a monster, it’ll get you!” The song continued to play behind me, and I heard a frustrated growl.
“Don’t listen to her, she’s just a child.”
“Megan, don’t listen to it.” May pleaded.
The lyrics to the song churned in my head like deep water. I couldn’t help it. I walked into the room. The thing’s shadow loomed over me like a dark tower. A long hand from the thing reached out. The arm stretched unnaturally long, bones creaking and moaning like the hallway. The long fingers wrapped around me like a vice. It squoze and squoze until I couldn’t breathe.
“Magdalene.” The creature said in a growl.
“Megan!” May cried from down the hall.
My vision was growing darker. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. The world seemed to melt away as if I floated in water. The song continued to tick.
“Megan? Please wake up?”
My eyes flashed opened. The hallway was gone. I gasped in the breath I had been holding, blood pumping painfully through my head.
“Are you up?” May said.
“May?” I said, rubbing my eyes. “What time is it?”
May hugged her butterfly and robot closer. I checked my phone. It was 3:43 am. I managed a deep breath that settled me back into reality. That’s when I realized that May was crying.
“Hey, what’s wrong, May?”
“I– I had a scary dream. You were far away, and a monster was getting you. Long fingers and scary arms,” She sniffled. “I’m sorry for being mad at you about soccer. I don’t want you to go away.”
Did May have my dream?
“No– I’m sorry, May. This has all been so hard for you but you’ve been so brave. I’m sorry that I’m always late to pick you up from practice.”
I brushed a hand through her hair. She leaned against me.
“It’s okay. I don’t care about that anymore,” May paused. “Is mom going away because we’re mad at her?”
I took a deep breath.
“No, it’s just– she’s just sick. Come on, climb up. You can sleep here with me so you don’t have another nightmare.”
So we don’t. I thought. She nodded and climbed up.
“My butterfly will protect us from now on.” She said.
I wrapped her into a hug, and that seemed to calm her down. She fell asleep in the seat almost immediately. I on the other hand could only stare at the gaudy ass ceiling as I thought about my evolving nightmares.
I’m glad that May was asleep, because she would have seen just how scared I was.