I open my eyes to the darkness of my room, and the pressure behind my eyes is almost unbearable. My sinuses are swollen on my left side, and clear mucus is running down my nostril. The pain is getting worse, and the pressure behind my eyes is building. It feels like a rusty drill bit from an impact driver is burrowing through the back of my head, and I can feel it getting closer and closer to my left eye. The unfortunate thing is that it is just starting. It is a roll of the dice at this point. Is it going to be fifteen minutes of agony or two hours of hell?
I fumble through the darkness and the pain of retrieving my phone from the nightstand. The time on my screen says 3:45 AM. I know what that means. I force myself out of bed, and the pain starts to peak. This is the worst part. It means there is no escape. No amount of energy drinks, pain pills, or anything else will make the beast scratching the back of my eye go away. Not until it chooses to leave on its own.
“Fuck,” I say loudly to myself as I search for my shoes.
When I get a cluster headache in the middle of the night, the pain is so intense that I feel like I am going to die. I cannot think straight, I cannot fully breathe, and I cannot even stand up without struggling. The only thing that brings me any relief is to walk the streets until the pain subsides. It was a tip a fellow cluster headache sufferer gave me once.
Just get your heart rate up and try to distract yourself the best you can.
People who have never experienced a cluster headache do not understand why I would do something so dangerous. They ask me if I am not afraid of getting mugged or shot. But to me, the risk of getting hurt is worth it if it means getting the smallest relief from the pain.
Sometimes I think a bullet to the head would be a more merciful way than rocking back and forth in my bed while I bruise my leg from hitting it so hard. But I know that I must keep going. I must find a way to live with this pain.
As I bent over to tie my shoes, a clear stream of mucus dripped down my nostril. My sinuses felt like they were being squeezed by a firm hand. I hated this feeling more than anything else about having these fucking things. The pain behind my eye was excruciating, and it was made worse by the fact that I could only breathe out of one nostril.
This was hell.
I stepped out of my apartment and into the cool night air. The breezeway was quiet, save for the sound of my neighbor’s voice slurring through the darkness.
“Hey neighbor,” he called. I turned to see him struggling to find the right key to his door. He was a stocky man with a thick head of hair that was now plastered to his forehead with sweat. The smell of gin wafted off him, and I could see the alcohol shining in his eyes.
He waved at me again, as if I hadn’t heard him the first time. I didn’t dislike him, but when I was having one of “those” nights, I didn’t like anyone. I especially didn’t want to chat with a lonely drunk at 3AM. While I felt bad for him, it had been an ongoing theme with him since his partner had left him some months ago. I often could hear the faint sound of him crying from our thin walls.
“What are you up to this late at night?” he asked, studying me in my running shoes and the gym shorts I slept in.
“Going for a walk,” I said curtly.
“Well, you are a trooper, getting your steps in at this time of night.”
“It’s not like that,” I replied as I locked my door and turned to see him still drunkenly struggling to find the keys to his door. I started to walk past him the smell of gin became stronger the more I drew near. As he began to unlock his door finally.
“Well, you have a good night,” he said with a one last limp wave as I continued to walk towards the stairwell. I heard his door open with a long, drawn-out moan that was part drunkenness and loneliness. I turned around briefly to see that his door was still open, but there was no sign of him. I could only imagine him standing there, staring into the darkness, drunk and alone.
The city’s wind whipped my face, a fleeting but welcome relief from the imaginary knife that was slowly being pushed deeper into my brain. I knew it was going to be a long night. There was no point in trying to go back to sleep. I would just lie there, staring at the ceiling, until the sun came up. I was already exhausted, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to rest. I had to keep moving. I had to keep doing something, anything, to distract myself from the pain.
This included what most people would consider to be beyond stupid, but when you have a cluster headache, you don’t always think clearly. I decided that it would be quicker to grab an energy drink from the market by cutting through a dark alley.
I had cut through the alley countless times, both in broad daylight and at night when my head was throbbing. But something was different this time. The alley felt darker and more ominous than usual. The wind howled through it, as if it was warning me away. “Don’t come down this way,” it seemed to say.
I stared into the alleyway, wondering if I was hoping for someone to hit me over the head and knock me out so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain anymore. It was darker than usual, the flickering streetlamps supplying only brief moments of illumination. The sound of paper and other trash crunching under my feet was amplified by the darkness. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, my eye started to ache, and my vision began to blur.
I cursed under my breath as I squinted through my one good eye, hoping it would help me focus on the other end of the alley. It was cliché, but it was true: I had heard a glass bottle break behind me.
“Hello?” I called out, my voice hoarse from the cold.
There was no answer. The alley was silent for a moment, then I heard rustling in the darkness.
“Anyone there?” I asked again, my heart pounding in my chest.
The rustling grew more frantic, as if whoever was out there was trying to get away from me. I stood still, frozen with fear, as the sound got louder and more desperate.
I could feel the muscles in my neck turning stiff, and my head throbbed painfully. My nose was clogged with mucus, and I could barely breathe.
I knew I should run, but I was too afraid to move. I just stood there, listening to the rustling, until it finally stopped.
The alley was silent again. I stood there for a few more minutes, my heart still racing, before I finally worked up the courage to move. I know I talked about a tough game earlier, but truthfully, when I don’t have cluster headaches, I like living.
“I don’t have any cash, and honestly, I am pretty broke until next Friday.”
The rustling started again, closer this time. It was moving towards me, and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I tried to lock onto the sound with my one good eye, but my other eye was still watering and blurred.
The flickering lamplight briefly illuminated the creature’s eyes, which glowed with an intense, unnatural light. My knees locked up as I stared at the thing, unable to move. I could see its sharp teeth glinting in the darkness as it slunk closer to me.
I opened my one good eye as wide as it would go, trying to see the creature more clearly. At least, I wouldn’t have to suffer from cluster headaches anymore. The creature slinked closer, and my one good nostril could smell it.
It was awful.
It whimpered for a moment, which caught me off guard as I stared down at what appeared to be a stray light-colored hair dog covered in dirt and hardened mud. A piece of trash hanging out of its mouth. It was thin enough that I could see its hip bones.
Its stare locked on to me for a moment. Its tail lightly wagging.
“Hi, boy, I think,” I said to it. As we continued to stare at each other I noticed his ears began to perk up. It turned around and its entire demeanor changed in an instant. The tail suddenly whipped underneath and its fur began to stand up. It let out a growl as it stared into the darkness behind us.
“What do you see?” I asked if the dog could respond.
I figured it was probably another dog, and they were having a turf war over who got to pick over the alley’s garbage. I waited a moment before I said, “Well, best of luck to you. Give them hell.”
I turned around and continued down the alley. I could see the light at the other end, and I was getting closer to the corner market. I thought about how Red Bull would help me with the groggy feeling of being woken up.
As I was about to exit the alley, I heard the dog barking. Its feet were racing down the alleyway, and its tail was still tucked beneath its legs. It darted past me, barking frantically, and disappeared around the corner.
I guess it lost.
I darted across the street and into the market. The door chimed as I opened it, and I glanced at the bald man behind the counter. He gave me a gruff look before turning his attention back to the small television. I looked out the window at the alley, but I couldn’t see anything unusual in the darkness. I walked to the drinks and grabbed a Red Bull.
My head throbbed as I walked to the counter and placed the can down. The man grunted and stood up from the television. “Anything else tonight?”
“No, just this.”
“Late night, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said. “No point in going back to sleep at this point.”
I heard the beep as he scanned the bar code, and I took one last look at the alley. “That’ll be $3.19,” he said, still looking at the television.
“Do you still take tap?”
He nodded without looking at me. I pulled out my phone to see that it was nearly 4 AM. I heard the bell jingle as another customer entered, but I didn’t pay much attention. The transaction went through, and I shook my head at the clerk’s question about a receipt.
I took one last look at the store, but it seemed empty except for me and the clerk. I could have sworn someone else had come in, but maybe they just went to the bathroom, or the wind had jostled the door a bit to cause the bell to ring.
I exited the market and started walking again. The pain in my head was a constant, dull ache, but it wasn’t getting worse. This gave me hope that the pain was starting to subside. I decided to walk another block or two, and then turn around.
A few minutes later, I heard a voice from behind me. “You haven’t noticed it, have you?”
I turned to see a man leaning against a wall. He had a long, unkempt beard and weathered skin. His eyes were tired, but they locked onto mine with a piercing intensity.
“Noticed what?” I asked.
“That you’re being followed,” he replied, turning his head to the street behind us. The lights on the street began to flicker, just like they had in the alley I had walked through earlier. “It’s been following you for a while now.”
“What has been following me?” I asked, my voice rising in alarm.
The man didn’t answer right away. He just stared at me with those intense eyes, as if he were trying to read my mind. Finally, he spoke.
“Something dark,” he said. “Something that wants to hurt you.”
I felt a chill run down my spine. “What should I do?” I asked.
“Get as far from it as you can,” he replied, his voice thick with urgency. “You aren’t the first person I’ve seen it follow.”
The man stood up and started to dust himself off, but his eyes were fixed on me with a look of fear. The lights began to flicker more erratically, and I could almost feel the darkness closing in around us.
“I still can’t see anything,” I said, my voice trembling.
“That’s because it doesn’t want you to see it,” he said. “It likes to toy with people.”
“You’ll be dead before they get here,” the man replied. “You’re not the first person I’ve seen try that. I’m getting the hell out of here.”
My left eye started to water and get blurry again. I had to get back to my apartment quickly. I could cut down another alley and circle back around. The man gathered up his bedding and rolled it up.
“Don’t be an idiot,” he said as he started to walk down the street. “Start moving, and don’t follow me. I’ve already stuck my neck out enough for you tonight.”
I looked over to another alley and headed towards it, running as quickly as I could. The lights began to flicker as I passed them, and I turned back to see a figure standing at the entrance of the alley. I couldn’t make it out much, but I knew it was the thing that had been following me.
I picked up my pace, my heart pounding in my chest.
I turned and continued to run, my breath coming in ragged gasps. The alley was dark and narrow, and I could barely see where I was going. I tripped and fell, scraping my hands and knees. I scrambled to my feet and kept running.
I could hear the figure getting closer. I was running out of breath, and my legs were starting to ache. I knew I couldn’t keep running much longer.
Suddenly, I saw a light at the end of the alley. I ran towards it and burst out onto the street. I looked back, but the figure was gone. The sound of sirens and an ambulance rushed past me as I exited the alley, turning into the other street. I looked left and could see my building. The sound of more sirens was getting closer, and I could hear the blue lights of police cars rushing to follow the ambulance.
I caught my breath, and it seemed that the commotion had gotten whatever it was to back off. I started to take a light jog towards my building. It took a few minutes, but I arrived at my building and noticed that both the ambulance and the cops were on the other side. Seemingly at the market I was at earlier.
“Fuck,” I said out loud and as I started going up the stairs to my floor. I decided I would call the police when I got safely inside my apartment. I started to walk up the stairs and noticed that my neighbor’s door was still open as I got closer to my own apartment.
“Hello,” I called out as I got to his door. I peered into the darkness and noticed nothing at first until I looked down to see a pool of blood and my now lifeless neighbor’s body. The sign of deep bloody marks on his torso.
I quickly moved towards my apartment struggling to open the door, but I eventually got in and locked the door behind me. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and began to dial 911, but suddenly the lights began to flicker. I looked towards the window that was once again open and my heart sank.
I knew that I wasn’t alone.
I could see the figure standing on the other end of the room as the lights flickered. Its skin was almost a perfect white, and it seemed faceless, but as if it was still looking at me even with the absence of eyes. It was tall and thin, and its limbs were long and spindly. The only thing I could see that stood out from its lack of features was that it seemed to have strange symbols branded on its body.
The symbols were a deep red, and they seemed to be burned into its skin. They were all different shapes and sizes, and they seemed to have no pattern to them. I could also hear it breathing heavily, but where the air was entering and leaving, I could not tell you.
It began to lumber towards me, still toying with me. It almost seemed to feed off the paralysis I was feeling. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, and my breath was coming in short gasps. I closed my eyes, waiting for both my life and the horrible headache that was finally starting to fade to end.
But then, I heard a noise. It was a faint sound, but it was enough to make me open my eyes. The figure had stopped moving, and it was now staring at me. Its eyes were empty sockets, but I could feel its gaze boring into me.
I tried to scream, but no sound came out. I was frozen with fear. The figure took a step towards me, and I could see that the symbols on its body were moving. They were writhing and twisting, like they were alive.
I knew that I was in danger, but I couldn’t move. I was completely at its mercy. The figure took another step towards me, and I closed my eyes, waiting for the end.
But the end never came.
When I opened my eyes, the figure was gone. I looked at the window to see that the sun was starting to rise, and my apartment was completely empty.