It’s taken me a long time to be able to talk about this publicly. For a while, I didn’t speak at all. Not a word to anybody. I told the police what happened a hundred times, and eventually I was so numb that I felt like I lost the ability. I didn’t have enough energy in my body to push words out. It’s an indescribable type of emptiness.
At the request of law enforcement as well as a last ditch effort to convince anyone that what I saw really happened, I’m going to do my best to recount the events that happened that day. Unfortunately, I watched almost the entire thing unfold.
So, me and my fiancé Ann, were going through a bit of a rough patch. Some days we were great, but others we were like strangers.
The last day we spent together, I cooked her dinner and she refused to eat a bite. I spent half the day cooking. I looked up a fancy recipe to impress her. She wanted none of it. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her.
Despite a promise I had made to her, I went out to my car and started taking sips off of a bottle of rum I had hidden there. My drinking was often an issue between us. I always dealt with lots of anxiety and depression and. It made me feel numb. It allowed me to turn my mind off for a little while at a time. At least I told myself that..
She didn’t understand why I needed that. I made her feel like she was not enough. The reason was the opposite though. I wasn’t enough for her. She had a good job. She was beautiful. She was intelligent. I’m none of these things and at the time I was unemployed. I was unemployed more often than not during our time together. I felt inadequate.
She said that I didn’t listen enough and that I had a complete inability to listen when I was drinking. The last day we spent together, I tried to cook her a gourmet meal because she had mentioned it a few days prior. She said she was sick of eating the same things day in and week out. She painted us as an old couple sitting in lazy boys with our TV dinners repeating the same day over and over. I found this to be a vast exaggeration, but maybe she was somewhat right.
In any case, we decided to take some time apart. I moved in with my buddy Eric. The last real friend I had. I lost touch with the rest after I started seeing Ann. Eric was ride or die though and was happy to help, at least for a few weeks. He had an extra room and it was a nice set up. It was just far away from her though. Too far for my comfort.
I regularly tried to call her, but she wouldn’t answer. That was painful. Being locked out by the person you love is just… tough.
I was desperate for a way to contact her or see her but I knew she didn’t wanna see me. Then one day, I remembered the cameras.
It was a Christmas gift from a family member a while back. A set of security cameras that we could check and monitor from our phones and tablets. We set up one outside and two inside just by the doorway, pointing in separate directions. After that, we pretty much forgot about them.
Our neighborhood was safe. We barely had any neighbors, none that you can see from our house. The closest place was around the bend. Our place was quiet and private. I liked that. In any case, we didn’t feel like we had much of a need for security cameras.
I felt a rush of excitement when I remembered the cameras. I got my tablet out and got on the app. I looked at the monitor, and there she was. She looked beautiful. She was dressed really nice and I worried that she might have a date. It hurts a lot to lose someone you love. Seeing them with someone else is torture..
I felt creepy, believe me. I didn’t want to stalk her or watch her without her knowledge. I just wanted to see her from time to time. I just checked once in a while, just so I could see her face.
It was only a week or so between me leaving and what happened. I just checked the cameras a few times. I couldn’t get it off my mind though so I turned notifications on for the app. I didn’t wanna spy on her, but I had to know if she was seeing someone. If someone came to the door, I would get a notification.
Eventually, I got a notification. I opened the app to see that there was a man at the door. Immediately, my heart sank. She was seeing someone. That was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction though.
I watched the footage as she opened the door. It turned out that it was a door to door salesman. An odd little man with a goofy mustache. He was dressed very oddly also. Suspenders over a purple dress shirt and a top hat wielding a unicycle.
She opened the door and pretty quickly told him she wasn’t interested in buying anything.
“You don’t know what I’m selling yet though, ma’am,” the salesman said.
“So what are you selling?” Ann asked.
“Unicycles!” He gleefully replied.
Ann laughed. The salesman shrugged as if he was used to this response.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t need a new unicycle at the moment,” she laughed.
“I think you do.” The salesman said as his demeanor changed from upbeat to almost sinister. “Can I trouble you for a glass of water?”
Ann seemed flustered by the request. I immediately became concerned and tried to call her. I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t hurt to watch her on the camera look at her phone and then silence the ringer..
After she ignored my call, she invited the salesman in. I was stunned. No one sells unicycle‘s door to door! Why is she letting this man into the house!
I tried calling again. Then I texted. Then I called again. She continued to ignore me. I decided to drive over there. Something was off. Something was up with this guy.
From the place where I was staying, it would normally take about 40 minutes to drive to Ann’s place. Not that day though.. I hit a traffic jam pretty quickly. Apparently, there had been an accident somewhere up the highway and we were at a standstill.
I called and called again but she would not answer me. I used my tablet to periodically check the camera. I had a good data plan for the tablet so I could keep the camera on as long as it would hold a charge. My phone was dying though.
As traffic came to a complete halt, I started watching the camera closely again. She had invited him into the kitchen where they were sitting and talking as he drank his water. She then excused herself to use the bathroom.
From where the cameras were positioned, I could see the doorway and a bit of the living room on one, The front porch and the woods across the street on another, and most of the kitchen from the last one. I kept watching the salesman in the kitchen while she was in the bathroom.
He sat still for a few moments, but then he got up and started slowly walking around the kitchen. He made his way to the sink and refilled his water glass. Then he stopped at the knife block.
My heart rate exploded when he took one of the knives out of the block. He slid his finger along the blade. He then put it back and did the same with another one of the knives. After the third one, he turned around quickly as if he heard something, he put the knife back, and he quickly sat back down where he was when she left the room.
This is when I entered full panic mode. I had cars on every side of me and couldn’t escape the traffic jam. Ann would not answer the phone. I felt helpless.
I tried to call her yet again and this time it went straight to voicemail. She had either blocked me or turned off her phone. I tried two more times with no luck. I sat there freaking out when she didn’t answer and realized that it was time to call the police.
It was like it was fate. I ended my latest attempted call to Ann, and started dialing 911. That’s when my phone died..
I knew that I would have to go car to car begging a pissed off stranger in a traffic jam to let me use their phone to call the police. Before I embarked on this journey, I looked at the camera again from the tablet.
What I saw made me feel sick.. They were kissing.. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This clown shows up at the doorstep with his suspenders and his top hat and his fucking unicycle, and she brings him inside our home to hook up with him?
I didn’t know who the hell this person was. I’m not talking about the unicycle salesman. I’m talking about Ann. Shy, sweet, intelligent, Ann. This just wasn’t her. Any random hook up doesn’t seem like something she would do, but especially this guy.. This stranger who showed up at our house selling something he knows nobody is going to buy.
Ann is The furthest thing from a “ditz”. Cheesy lines didn’t work on her. Pick up lines didn’t work on her. She preferred intelligent and engaging conversations. She simply wasn’t dumb enough to believe that this guy was really selling unicycles!
When they finally stopped making out, they went back to the kitchen. He again went to the knife block and pulled a knife out. My heart raced, and I prepared to get out of the car to start begging someone for their phone to call the police. Then he spoke.
“Are you gonna let me cook for you tonight?” He asked.
She smiled and said “I thought we could have something delivered.”
I was totally confused. Has she been seeing this guy? Has this been going on since before I left? I never even considered checking the cameras before. I can’t now. They don’t record unless you set them to. We live in a nice neighborhood. I never had a reason to suspect her of infidelity. I just didn’t get it.
I felt numb watching them, but I couldn’t look away. A hurricane of pain and confusion swirled in my head. Why the suspenders? Why the salesman ruse? Was she into some sort of bizarre role-playing? Is that why I wasn’t satisfying her?
I felt sick, but a bit relieved at the same time. I was angry. That didn’t mean that I wanted to watch her get attacked by a madman though. Apparently, she knew this goofy fucking unicycle salesman and apparently he made her happy..
I kept the tablet on, but tried not to look as often. I was torn. I didn’t want to see it but I couldn’t look away. I figured since I wouldn’t be driving for a while, I could take a few sips off of my rum that I had stashed in the car from before.
I sat there trying to drown my sorrows. I watched them discuss what to order for dinner. I watched as she turned her phone back on and laughed at how many times I had called and texted. I was pathetic to her, and maybe she was right. Although I also thought she was too good for me, and maybe I was wrong..
I decided to shut the tablet off and stop torturing myself. The traffic was still completely stalled. Every song that came on the radio made me think of Ann even though she barely liked music in general. I used to think it was the strangest thing about her. Everything would always remind me of her though.
About a half hour went by before I got a notification on the tablet. Their food had arrived. They ordered pizza. Of course Ann would never eat pizza with me. It was always salad or something healthy. Actually looking back, she barely ate at all.
I watched as she opened the door, searched her pockets, then invited the pizza guy into the doorway while she got her wallet.
She walked out of frame and he seemed to be talking to her. That’s when things took a horrifying turn..
The unicycle salesman came into frame and slowly approached the pizza guy from behind. He was holding the unicycle. He lifted the unicycle, holding the bar just below the seat. Then he struck the pizza guy in the back of the head with the other end.
I panicked as I watched. The pizza guy fell to the floor and the unicycle salesman pounced on his back. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe. He quickly jabbed it into the guy’s neck..
Moments later, Ann walked back into frame. The salesman looked up at her with a smile on his face and said “Not too messy, right?” He then pulled a pistol out from his pocket and said “I told you I wouldn’t need the gun.”
Knowing Ann, I expected her to scream in fear and start running out of the house, realizing that she had invited a psychopath inside. Instead, she laughed and said “Better to have it and not need it.”
I had no idea what to do. I worried that she was in danger. I would have never expected in a million years that she would hurt somebody. It was like this creepy unicycle salesman had her hypnotized. It simply wasn’t her..
Looking at the tablet, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The pizza boy was lying unconscious on the floor as Ann and the salesman both stepped out of frame.
They both re-entered at the same time from desperate directions. The salesman walked out to the front porch where he grabbed a duffel bag that was sitting there on the porch. I hadn’t noticed the bag before.
Ann returned from somewhere further in the house carrying what looked like a tarp.. The salesman set the bag down and took the tarp from Ann. He spread it out on the ground next to the pizza guy. Then, together they both rolled him onto the center of the tarp.
The salesman grabbed the duffel bag and knelt down next to the unconscious pizza guy. Ann gave him a kiss and smiled before saying “I’ll get the kitchen ready.”
I was baffled.. absolutely baffled. Baffled doesn’t do the feeling justice. There are no words to describe how I felt when I watched what they were doing and what they were about to do.. Not only to see something so horrifying in general, but to know that I was living with this person. This person I loved and thought I knew was capable of..
Sorry.. I had to take a quick break there.. I’m going to do my best to explain what I saw next..
She uh.. She started pulling pots and pans out of the cupboard. She grabbed some spices off the rack and some butter from the fridge. She set a pan on the stove and started the burner before throwing in some butter..
I was so focused on her. I was so confused. It was a lot to see all at once. I was so focused on her that I didn’t see what the salesman was doing in the other room..
When I switched back to the other camera, all I could see was the salesman hovering over the Pizza guy. He was now wearing what looked like a garbage bag over his clothes. It wasn’t until he moved a little that I realized what he was doing..
The moment I saw it and realized what he was doing, I opened the car door and vomited. After that, I grabbed some napkins from the glove box and wiped my face as I tried to catch my breath and combat the quickly oncoming panic attack.. I had no idea that it was about to get even worse..
I need another break…
What I had seen on the camera was the unicycle salesman… cutting the pizza guy. Not just cutting.. Chopping.. Flaying.. Dismembering.. he was chopping him up.. The duffel bag was full of knives, saws, ect. i’ve never seen something so disgusting in my entire life. Nothing close..
I didn’t want to look at the camera again. I had to know though. It was like a train wreck. I didn’t know what to do. I was stuck in my car. My phone was dead. For a moment, I tried to convince myself it wasn’t even really happening. Maybe I had completely lost my mind. That would’ve been preferable..
When I finally looked back at the camera, I watched as the salesman pulled off chunks of flesh and placed them into containers.. he’s sawed and hacked as Ann acted perfectly normal in the kitchen like she was about to prepare dinner.
After a few minutes, I could see the salesman get up, pick up one of the full, blood soaked containers, and walk it into the kitchen..
Somehow I still had hope that Ann was the person I knew at that point. I prayed that she would scream when the man walked in with his container of human meat.. she smiled though.. she smiled in a way I have never seen her smile before. It looked so… sinister.. The same look the unicycle salesman had on his face when he first showed up..
He set the container on the counter.. She umm.. she started grabbing bits and throwing them into the pan.. They both smiled and he gave her a little kiss before returning to the other room to.. finish..
He started walking out of the kitchen before turning around. He asked Ann, “Do you have records? I saw the turntable in the living room. Some music would be nice.”
Ann told him that she did have records in the cabinet under the turntable. She lied. She doesn’t have records. I do. That turntable is probably the only thing of mine she allowed in the house. The one thing she allowed me to have of my own.
As I said before, Ann didn’t really like any music. Once in a while she’d get into one of the new top 40 pop hit songs, but that was about it. She told the salesman the records were hers though.
He walked to the turntable. “What should we listen to?” He asked.
“Up to you,” she replied.
“Ohh how about The Misfits!?” He asked excitedly.
“Oh is that punk or heavy stuff?” Ann replied. “I’d like to listen to something a little more upbeat.”
“Fair enough,” the salesman replied. He then knelt down next to the body of the pizza guy and said “Yeah, sorry buddy. That was my first choice too. Hey, if I cut off your arms and cut off your legs, would you still love me anyway?” He then laughed and continued looking through the records.
Before long, he made another selection. He didn’t ask Ann’s opinion this time. He selected a record and put it on the table. Before he turned it on, he walked back into the kitchen.
“I found something perfect!” He said. “I gotta stop wasting time though. Our friend only has one more delivery. I texted the number saying their pizza would be late so they’d get it free so hopefully it bought us some time. I gotta get moving on this though.”
“Try a bite first,” Ann said with a smile as she continued flipping the bits of meat in the pan.
“Okay but quickly,” the salesman replied. “Hold on one second.”
He scurried into the living room and turned on the turntable. He put the stylus down and headed back into the kitchen.
The music started playing. It was “I’m into something good.” It was the original version by The Cookies. More specifically, Earl Jean McCrea. A good song that is forever ruined for me now..I guess that isn’t important. It just made the scene so much more eerie and bizarre..
The song started as Ann got a piece of meat out of the pan with a fork. She fed the bite to the salesman. My stomach turned again. She then took a bite, herself. It was beyond horrific.. They ate bits of this presumably innocent pizza guy as upbeat music played in the background.
The salesman gave Ann a kiss on the cheek, then returned to the pizza guy on the floor. He continued cutting pieces off as Ann continued cooking. All while “Somethin tells me I’m into something good🎵” continued playing.
It was like watching a twisted montage. I couldn’t look away. The police have asked me why I didn’t get out of the car right then and there to beg someone for their phone to call the police. Why did I watch for so long..
I have difficulty answering that.. I pretty much did. It just took me a minute.. I was practically in a trance.. it’s difficult to process things in real time, especially something like this.. This brutal, horrific sight playing out to a happy go lucky sounding song that I used to really enjoy.. It’s just.. It was just a lot. Too much for my psyche to handle.. Eventually, I turned off the tablet screen before opening the door to dry heave.
This is when I got out of the car again. I needed to contact the police. I tried to get one of the other cars around me to roll down the window for me to explain and ask to use the phone, but no one would.
They assumed I was some madman who jumped out of his car in the middle of a traffic jam. These people were already irritated and I was trying to knock on their windows. To them, I was just a nut job holding a tablet with a violent video playing on it..
Despite several people laying on their horns and yelling out their windows at me to get back into my car, I decided to run up the road. I knew I was roughly a mile from the accident and that there would have to be law-enforcement there.
As I ran, people beeped their horns at me, yelled things at me, threw things at me.. I didn’t care. I needed to find help.
I periodically looked back at the tablet. It didn’t get any less disgusting. By now, the salesman had removed limbs from the Pizza guy.. He started loading the containers into a cooler.. Our cooler.. The same cooler that Ann and I took camping last summer.. She complained the entire time on that trip. I thought she would enjoy being in nature, but she must have been fantasizing about.. something else..
I didn’t want to switch back to the camera that could see the kitchen, but I couldn’t help myself. Just then though, traffic started moving. I looked up ahead and still wasn’t close enough that I could see the accident site or any police cars. Traffic quickly got back to normal speeds and I realized that they had cleared the road.
I decided to run back to my car. It was blocking traffic. I didn’t know how far I was from the accident scene or if there would still be police there when I got there. I sprinted back to my car as fast as I could. When I finally made it back to it, there were several cars stuck behind it trying to merge into the other lane. People were still beeping and yelling.
I jumped in as fast as I could and pulled out. I continued driving toward Ann’s house, though I wasn’t sure what to do at this point.
When I made the mistake of looking back at the tablet, I tried my best not to puke again.. unsuccessfully.. This is verifiable. Police know that I absolutely did puke into the passenger seat of my car while driving. Not a pleasant experience.. none of this was.
/(:(/(:(:(:(:):)When I looked back, they were both in the kitchen. She was frying up…pieces… They were pulling off little pieces of meat out of the pan and they started feeding it to each other.
It was sick and disgusting and bizarre. He caressed her leg as he fed her a piece. She kissed his neck and rubbed his thigh as she fed him a piece. I again vomited into the passenger seat while trying not to wreck my car..
I continued heading toward Ann’s house. I didn’t know where else to go in the area. I guess I should have gone to the police station. I think I was in shock though. I wasn’t thinking clearly.. How could I?
I was still about a half hour away. I continuously made the mistake of looking at the tablet to see their horrific feast. I tried to keep the screen off because the tablet was now running out of battery. I decided to drive straight there rather than stopping at the one single tiny gas station between Ann’s and where I was. It was getting late and it seemed like the place was always closed either way.
I was about 10 minutes away when I couldn’t help myself but check again. They looked like they were finishing up for the moment. They were no longer eating. They were having a discussion.
Ann said, “I can’t wait for dessert!”
The unicycle salesman replied, “Just let me deliver the next pizza on our new friends route. I’ll call you when I’m ready to ditch the car. Meet me at the place we discussed. Then we can come back here for a real meal!”
Ann smiled and agreed. The salesman then rolled the remains of the pizza guy in the tarp. He bound it together with bungee cords. Then he dragged the pizza guy out of the house and put him in the trunk of his own car. After that, he drove away..
I was about to switch back to the kitchen camera when the tablet died. I felt angry, but a little relieved that I didn’t have to watch anymore. Still, I felt the need to confront her. My mind was blown and my world was upside down.. She owed me a hell of an explanation.. So I went to her house..
I arrived about ten minutes after the tablet died. I wasn’t sure if she’d still be there. Her car was there though.
I got out and approached the front door. I was still in a state of panic. I tried to take deep breaths as I rang the doorbell.
I waited, but there was no response. I tried the door and was surprised that it was unlocked. I slowly walked into the house. The smell was the first thing I noticed..
It kind of smelled like pork. Almost metally too. Metallic? I don’t know, I thought it kind of smelled like metal. Maybe I was just about to have a stroke from the stress, the horror, the confusion. I guess that’s burnt toast though, right? Doesn’t matter. I’m rambling. I’d prefer to talk about absolutely anything other than this..
The music was still playing as I slowly walked in. The same song actually. It was an EP. There’s only two songs on it. The cheery song made me feel even more uneasy as I approached the kitchen.
“Woke up this morning feeling fine ‘Cause there was something special on my mind
Last night I met a new boy in the neighborhood..”
Maybe the lyrics convey how Ann felt.
“We only talked for a minute or two
And it felt like I knew him the whole night through
I don’t know if people fall in love
But he’s everything I’ve been dreaming of..”
Sorry.. I don’t know why I keep singing that song.. I hate that song now.. I think I’m just trying to distract myself. I really don’t want to continue..
I will continue.. I wouldn’t want to obstruct an investigation..
So, I walked into the kitchen and there she was. She was sitting at the table peacefully looking down at an empty plate.. She didn’t have much of a reaction to seeing me. She didn’t seem mad that I had shown up unannounced or that I walked in when no one answered the door. Actually, she looked more at peace in that moment than she ever did when we were together..
“Hi Ann..” I said nervously.
“What a surprise,” she calmly replied. “You really can’t just show up like this.”
“I uh.. Sorry..” I struggled to find the words when I was finally face-to-face with her.
“What brings you by?” She asked, still as calm and emotionless as before.
“There was an accident.. and umm.. I was worried.. I.. What are you eating?”
Her cocky smirk left her face for a moment. It was chilling. The way she looked at me..
“I’m not eating anything right now,” she replied.
“What were you eating!?” I asked in a more assertive tone.
“Beef!” She laughed. “What is it to you?”
There was a long pause. She sat there awaiting my response. I had difficulty figuring out how to say it. It’s like the words were stuck..
“Ann.. What the hell is going on with you.?”
“You’re the one showing up here, letting yourself in,” she said.
I finally just blurted it out. “What the hell did I just witness? What just happened here? I need you to explain to me what I just watched on the cameras.,”
“The cameras?”l she started to ask, but quickly realized what I was talking about. She had forgotten about them too.
“You’ve been spying on me?” She asked.
“No. Don’t worry I haven’t been watching you day in and day out. I haven’t been stocking or spying I swear… All I saw was what happened here tonight… and I really need an explanation for that shit..”
“You’re so dramatic,” she said, laughing.
“You’re kidding, right?” I said. I was getting angrier. That cocky look on her face just.. I asked her again.
“What was that!?”
“I’ve told you before that I wanted to try new things,” she said in the most irritating way possible.
“New things?! I thought you meant a trip! Maybe a fancy dinner! Not attacking an innocent person with a fucking Willy Wonka impersonator! And especially not..”
I couldn’t say it, but I gestured to the stove.
“New things,” she said quietly. “It’s kind of hard to explain. I guess it’s the taboo aspect.. It’s not sexual.. not all sexual. It’s about pushing boundaries. I’ve been realizing that the society we live in just isn’t for me. I want to try things that people aren’t supposed to.. We find it strange because we’re taught to find it strange.. It’s rules ingrained in us. Those rules aren’t natural..”
I interrupted and said “You sound like a drug addict right now, who’s saying something you think is profound when it’s really just nonsense to justify doing something shitty,”
She ignored what I said and continued her rant. “I think it’s a primal thing. We want what we can’t have. A child doesn’t want a toy until they see another kid playing with it. The girl doesn’t want the guy until she thinks she can’t have him.. “
She continued, but this was when I recognized Ann’s trademark “ramble away from the point” thing. Her eyes began to wander as well.
That’s when I saw him.. There was a chrome colored toaster on the counter. It’s ironic to think about it now, but I wanted the black one. Ann always gets her way though, so we ended up with the reflective chrome.
As her eyes moved to where he was standing, I noticed the reflection of the unicycle salesman in the toaster. He was a few steps behind me, slowly approaching.
I pretended to not notice for a moment. I then saw him lift the unicycle over his head like he did with the pizza guy. As soon as he began to swing, I ducked and dropped to the floor.
He barely missed my head. I kicked the nearest chair into him, got up and ran.
He was blocking the hallway to the front door, so I ran toward the back. I could hear him kick the chair away and start running after me. I frantically tried to quickly open the back door, but it was locked and latched. In a panic, I ran upstairs.
I need to take a break here to explain. The police don’t understand why I didn’t just unlock the back door. There’s two locks and a chain lock on that door. I knew from before that the salesman had a gun. I was in a frenzied panic and he was right behind me. I heard him say “I bet you taste like candy..” and I just panicked and ran upstairs..
I ran into our.. Sorry, Ann’s bedroom. I didn’t recognize it.. It hadn’t even been that long, but she had erased any trace of me ever having lived there.. Sorry.. That’s not important.
I ran into the room and slammed the door shut. There was a lock but it barely worked. All you had to do was jiggle the handle and Ann knew that. I knew she had a gun in her bedroom though.
We had actually argued about it before. I don’t like guns. I never have. I told her that having one in the house would make it more likely that one of us would end up getting shot. As I’ve said before though, Ann gets what Ann wants.. I came home one day and there it was.
The best I could get her to do was compromise and get a safe for it. She begrudgingly agreed to that. It was now working against me though.
I knew the combination, but I was so panicked and afraid for my life that I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking. I could hear the salesman stomping down the hall before he started banging on the bedroom door.
I took deep breaths as I got the first two numbers, then accidentally passed the third. My heart sank as I started over. As I frantically tried a second time to the sound of banging on the door, I yelled “Leave me alone!”
The banging stopped as I got the safe open and grabbed the gun. I went to flip the safety off but it already was off, of course.. I faintly heard Ann’s voice say “Just jiggle it,” referring to the door lock..
It hurt to hear her say that.. Even after everything I had witnessed.. Even after realizing that she had been living a lie.. There was a madman trying to kill me.. and she was helping him do that..
Moments later, the door nob started jiggling. I knew he was about to get in.. I knew he had a gun.. I knew he was a psychopath..
I heard the lock click after a few seconds. I sat against the nightstand next to the bed. I held the gun tightly with both hands and pointed it at the door.. The door started to open.. I winced, and I pulled the trigger..
My eyes were barely open as I heard the body hit the floor by the doorway. I felt frozen at first. I didn’t want to move. I didn’t want to look.. I didn’t realize at first that it wasn’t the unicycle salesman.. It was Ann..
I screamed when I realized it was her. I knew it was the salesman who was banging on the door. I heard his voice.. She must have moved him out of the way to open it herself.. It was another habit of hers. She could never just tell you how to do something if you asked. She’d take over and do it herself.. I should’ve realized that..
I ran over to her as soon as I realized it was her. When I got to her, I could see the salesman running down the stairs. He was a coward.. He hit the pizza guy from behind. He tried to hit me from behind. He ran off when Ann was hurt..
I wished that she was only hurt.. I tried to put pressure on the wound. I immediately grabbed her phone and called the police. She was unresponsive and unconscious from the moment I got to her.. I tried cpr and applying pressure right up until the paramedics and police arrived.
They uh.. They ya know.. pronounced her.. moments after they got there.. please.. One more quick break..
I immediately told the police about the unicycle salesman. They weren’t buying it. They didn’t wanna hear it. Maybe they could have caught up with him if they had taken me seriously. He didn’t exactly blend in.. They could have found him. They felt that they already had their guy though.. Me.
That’s umm.. That’s how it happened.. I didn’t know anything about this unicycle salesman or any other guy she’d been talking to prior to this. She never once mentioned having a desire to break taboos.. it was an absolute shock to me and on top of losing her and trying to process everything that happened, now I have to try to prove my innocence..
No I don’t like to generalize, but in my experience, once the police have a theory, they aren’t happy about it being challenged. They like for things to be easy for them. It’s a lot easier to pin this on the “jealous ex”, than find the real culprit.
Sorry.. I was.. I am frustrated about that.. They could have gotten him.. Who knows where he is now.. what he’s doing.. He could be chatting online with the next person he’s planning on brainwashing. He did brainwash Ann.. She may have had issues, but he caused what happened.. and he got away..
They believe that the unicycle salesman was a creation by me, intended to be so bizarre that they would never believe I would make it up.. I wish that were true.. Then I wouldn’t have to constantly wonder where he is and what he’s doing..
One officer interrupted me as I was telling them about the salesman and said “Let me guess. You can’t make this stuff up.”
I never said that. I hate when people say that. You can make up anything. Writers like Isaac Asimov or HP Lovecraft “made up” entire world‘s and galaxies and universes..
Someone who sincerely says “you can’t make this up”, is either lying about what they just told you, or they’re very unimaginative.
The cops are suspicious of how I acted that day.. No one can say what they would do in a hypothetical situation. This is something the police are struggling to grasp.. Opening the lock to a back door or to a gun safe seems simple until you’re under intense, life-threatening circumstances.
They asked why I never hit record on the cameras. I get that. I was just stunned. My mind was going a million miles an hour. I was having a panic attack. I was puking. I was just too panicked to stop and think clearly.
They asked why I didn’t use someone else’s phone to call the police earlier. Ask the other people in the traffic jam that question.. I tried. Maybe it’s because of people like the unicycle salesman, People don’t trust people.. and anymore I’m not sure that they should.
One of them even suggested that I did it to make some point about gun control? That one is so idiotic and ridiculous that I don’t even want to dignify it with a response.
They said that no one else saw the unicycle salesman. it was clear that he knew Ann beforehand.. He wasn’t actually going door to door
I don’t know how he got there. My biggest regret is never hitting record on the camera. There wasn’t room in my mind for that thought at the time.
I didn’t see him walk up. I don’t know if he got dropped off or had a car around the bend. Maybe he rode his stupid goddamn unicycle all the way there? I don’t know! I don’t know why he dressed that way. I don’t know if it was part of the whole ritual or something he normally wears..
The police interviewed the people who had a pizza delivered after Ann’s house. They described the delivery person as having curly hair and a mustache. They said he didn’t talk much and kept the brim of his hat pulled low. It sounds more like the unicycle salesman, but the police dismiss it because I could have worn a fake mustache and wig? The answers they got didn’t support their theory, so they weren’t interested.
Again, it sounds like they want it to be me because it’s easier for them.. They already have me. I haven’t been taken into custody but if I leave the county they’ll arrest me in a heartbeat.
As for my phone dying at the very moment I tried to call 911, what can I say? It’s just the type of thing that happens to me. “Of course” moments. Those moments where things go perfectly wrong at specifically the right time.. My life is full of them.
Look.. I can only tell you what happened. This is what happened. They asked about my alibi over and over. They interrogated me for hours. They even played “I’m into something good” on repeat for a while to “gauge my reaction..” After what I had seen and been through, I consider that torture..
I could go on and on about the police and how they have behaved throughout all of this, but there’s no use for that. Soon, they’ll get the autopsy back. They will see the contents of Ann’s stomach.. Maybe some evidence from the Pizza guys car or something else like that could prove my innocence..
But for now.. I live in a state of paranoia.. I sit and wonder if or when the police will come and arrest me for a horrific crime I didn’t commit. Mostly though, I think about him.. I thought I saw him a few times for brief moments. Probably my mind playing tricks on me or maybe ptsd.. I’m just so paranoid that the unicycle salesman will come back..
I do apologize if I rambled a bit at the end there. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to tell the story the way it actually happened. I need someone to know, even if they can’t help me.
I’ll address any questions people may have in the comments as long as I have the freedom to do so. I will also try to update if there are any new developments. If I don’t update, I guess you can assume that the police decided to charge me.. or that the unicycle salesman came back..
One last thing. They found a full, uneaten pizza at Ann’s. If I had been there earlier, that wouldn’t have been the case…
I really am just trying to get the truth out there. I want people to believe that I’m innocent, but mostly I want them to know that he’s out there. He’s real, and he could be brainwashing your significant other right now.. Or maybe he’ll just show up at the front door.. If he does.. For the love of god.. don’t let him in..