You’ve had prank calls before, right? Everyone had them at one point. Either making them or receiving them. They are a part of modern life you could say. Ever since we were little we liked to prank our friends and neighbors, harmless stuff. Though some of the older kids, I remember, went a little too far sometimes.
Anyone can be a victim of a prank call. The vast majority of phone numbers are publically available. They can be found quite easily, if you remember phone books, maybe? Or am I that old already… Alas, today there is the internet which gives you access to an endless stream of information of all kinds.
If you’re skilled enough you can even give a call to some big wig if you so wished… But there is one number that cannot be found that easily, if at all. Unless you’re an expert hacker of some sort or a head of state of another country, you can’t call that number.
That is the official phone number of the president.
Which president? You might be asking yourself, but I am going to withhold that information for a few reasons. One of which being that if I said which president, I would probably be dead or worse by the end of the week. Take a guess, will you?
Anyways, I can be a bit more specific about when this little incident took place. It was about two years ago, give or take.
I should give you a bit more context. Who am I exactly? Well, obviously I won’t tell you my name. But I can tell you about my profession.
I tap phones, professionally. When I tell people I do that for a living they assume I am some sort of spy working for a three-letter agency. They picture me sitting in a van outside a house surrounded by cutting-edge technology while listening in on cartel members talking big money…
It isn’t that glamorous, trust me. On the contrary, it is a very boring job. While it has its interesting moments, having the privilege of knowing some info that the wider public will never know about is one thing. Of course with the catch that if I speak, I go to prison.
Let me be more specific, I listen in on the phone calls that go in and out of the presidential building. I record and document them.
There are certainly better ways of doing this, but I keep my mouth shut so that I don’t lose my job. But that’s beside the point.
The point of me writing this is because the president of my country, as well as to my knowledge others, received a particular call from… someone.
First of all, as I’ve mentioned it is incredibly difficult to get the phone number of the president. Moreso for the leaders of some other major nations I believe. But the point stands.
Two years ago, in the middle of the night, the president received a call from an unknown number. Of course, I did my job and began recording the call. We tried to trace the call by any means but we couldn’t. We had at least two agencies that employ very talented people trying to find the location of where that call was coming from… And they all came up with nothing.
It’s as if the call was coming from point Nemo. From nowhere.
Of course, that was not possible. We knew then for a fact that whoever was making this phone call was someone you wouldn’t want to mess with.
Even after all was said and done, we couldn’t confirm who was on the other end of that phone. We could only speculate. Months of investigation and probably millions of dollars went down the drain to find that caller. Rumors spread that other countries’ leaders received the same call… But that was just that, rumors. But I am led to believe that those rumors are in fact true. I really can’t go into detail because I would be writing this all day long.
Now, I was there in my small claustrophobic “office” listening in on that very call. I have the full transcript of it here. I am writing this two years after the fact because I didn’t want to be too hasty. I’ll lose my job or worse I thought… But one thing led to another and this would probably be my death sentence if they figure out who was the person who blew the whistle.
I won’t blab on, here’s the transcript in full. Make of it what you will.
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Ring
Ring
Ring
sound of someone picking up the phone
President [Redacted] - “Hello? Who is this?”
Unknown Caller - “Did you know that is 1697, one full year before the steam engine was invented by one Thomas Savery… One of his friends made a similar design of the engine, but he used it for making machines for erotic purposes…” (deep voice, vaguely British accent, voice change[?])
President [Redacted] - “W-what? Who is this!?”
sound of moving sheets, the president getting out of bed
President [Redacted] - “Listen do you know who you’re calling?”
Unknown Caller - “You see, Savery stole the idea… But he made something useful with it. Of course, everyone was none the wiser to that fact. It isn’t written anywhere. But you see… I know… I know everything.”
call ends, president hung up
seconds later the phone rings again.
President [Redacted] - “Look, I do not know who you are but I will find out and you will find yourself in a world of trouble! Do you hear me?!”
Unknown Caller - “A world of trouble? I think your wife would give you just that if she knew about Miss [Redacted]. Or should I maybe tell you about the [Redacted]? What say you? Don’t you agree?”
silence
President [Redacted] - deep sigh “H- how… What do you want?”
Unknown Caller - “Oh, what do I want? Hahahaha, I just want to talk… I want you to listen. That is all.”
President [Redacted] - “Alright, I’m listening… In return I want you to tell me who you are. You don’t need to be exact, just tell me-“
Unknown Caller - “Oh, you want to bargain. Do you want to trade? Oh, there is no trade here, right now. There will be one day, believe me. Everyone does that trade. And in whose favor that trade will go in depends solely on the person. And I will be generous and tell you that your trade is not going in your favor… Wouldn’t bet on it in a million years.”
President [Redacted] - “Okay, give me a moment…”
President gets up from bed and goes to the cabinet to grab pills for [Redacted]
Unknown Caller - “I have all the time in the world… Those pills won’t work.”
President [Redacted] - “How the hell did you know I’m taking them…”
Unknown Caller - “Your [Redacted] is too far gone now for the pills to have any effect. They might lessen the pain but they won’t heal you as the doctors say. They aren’t lying, they are just as convinced as you are that they will help. But they are wrong.”
President [Redacted] - “How would you know?”
Unknown Caller - “How would I know about [Redacted] and [Redacted]? I can also mention the [Redacted]. And that clandestine operation which you do every morning in the bathroom, the mole on your left thigh… That blonde secretary who you believe is into you… She’s just being nice. Leave the girl alone.”
President [Redacted] - “Who the fuck are you? Tell me, how the fuck do you know all that?!”
Unknown Caller - “Ah, yes. The age-old question. I think I can give you hint. I have fallen down below a long time ago.”
President [Redacted] - “Enough with the vague bullshit, tell me what you fucking want.”
Unknown Caller - “I already told you, I want to talk, I want you to listen.”
President [Redacted] - “I am listening and you’re just spewing bullshit! I am the fucking president of [Redacted] do you know what kind of resources I can use to find your sorry ass? I don’t know how in the nine hells you know everything you know. I will make your life hell! Goodbye.”
President goes to hang up the phone
Unknown Caller - “DON’T YOU HANG UP THE PHONE ON ME AGAIN OR I WILL SHOW YOU HELL” (voice goes deeper, like a growl, yell)
silence
Unknown Caller- “You’re still there, I know you are.”
silence
Unknown Caller - “Are you going to let me finish the story I began?”
President [Redacted] - “… Go ahead.”
Unknown Caller - “Excellent, now where was I with that… Oh, yeah. Thomas Savery the thief of ideas. As I’ve mentioned before you so rudely de-railed my monologue, Thomas Savery invented the steam engine in 1698, but a year earlier in 1697 his good friend who went by the name of William D. made a similar machine. But its use was for the pleasures of the flesh. I won’t go into detail I am sure you are familiar with the topic, and I am sure you can use your imagination.”
Unknown Caller - “Now, thievery is a sin. But so is William’s abomination. So who is the greater sinner? Thomas, or William?”
President [Redacted] - “Thomas, he is a thief who stole from the original inventor. No matter what that invention might’ve been.”
Unknown Caller - sigh “Is that so? Alright, Thomas it is then. I have another story for you.”
Unknown Caller - “Have you ever heard of the [Redacted] island?”
President [Redacted] – “What? I’ve never heard of it.”
Unknown caller – “Don’t you lie to me, not only have you heard of it. You’ve been there, many times.”
President [Redacted] – “As I’ve said I… Alright, you got me, okay? Get to the point.”
Unknown Caller – “You are aware of the others who went to that island. And many islands like it, isolated places… A heaven for the likes of you, and a living hell for others. Tell me then, have you sinned there?”
President [Redacted] - “Why are you even asking me, you know the answer.”
Unknown Caller – “I do, but I want to hear it from you. Are you a sinner?”
President [Redacted] - “Everyone is.”
Unknown Caller – “That is true to a certain extent. But those who truly deserve punishment are those who consciously did something that they knew was abhorrent. And they kept repeating with no solid reason, other than their own pleasure or enjoyment.”
Unknown Caller – “There was a time, long ago, when people the likes of you did the same things again and again. Yet, they saw themselves as being favored by the powers that be. They saw themselves as above the law. To invoke God one moment. Then to do the opposite of his commandments another moment is not only hypocrisy, but it is also a crime… To speak and do things in His name, things that make even His stomach turn. And I have to be honest humans like you have even surprised me. Before you were on par with me in some instances, but you have gone above and beyond in your quest to become what you have.”
President [Redacted] - “… Who are you.”
Unknown Caller – “I am the one who fell down below. I have many names in many languages.”
President [Redacted] – “Are you…”
Unknown Caller – “Yes, quite attentive of you. You can read between the lines at least.”
President [Redacted] - “Impossible… That is not possible.”
Unknown Caller – “Your kind did the impossible many times. Sometimes you are wrong, and sometimes you are right. And you don’t even know it. Not completely, but you were on the right track. As you were a long time ago before the likes of you led the flock astray.”
President [Redacted] – “What do you mean that I led the flock astray?”
Unknown Caller – “You wrote down one thing that was sort of right. That there was punishment when mankind went down the wrong path. But drowning will be the least of your concerns. You’ve failed the test. Hope that some of you will pass it.”
President [Redacted] – “W-what test?”
Unknown Caller – “You’ll find out soon enough. The slate will be wiped clean once more… I am excited to see what you will do this time hahahahahaha.”
Phone hangs up
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I honestly do not know what to make of this. This was obviously some sort of threat. And from what I can surmise it is Biblical in nature.
I am not a man of faith, and I’m not religious in any way, but I have an aching feeling that this call was not an empty threat by a simple terrorist. There are things you simply can’t fake. Unfortunately, you weren’t there at that moment when it all happened. It was like a sense of dread fell on us all.
Two years had passed since and that feeling of dread did not dissipate, not at all. If anything it got worse with each passing day.
I had the urge to share this because I think this is not a simple prank call, not a terrorist threat… This is something else.
If they, whoever they might be, decide to wipe the slate clean in some way. My gut tells me they are more than capable of doing it.
I just hope that I am wrong, that I am paranoid.
If you want to believe this, go ahead. If you decide to throw it aside as another fake… You can do that as well, I couldn’t care less. You being aware of it will suffice.
Make of it what you will.