“Always bring the Fae a tithe when you enter a forest. They’re possessive, vicious things and won’t hesitate to trick young women to get their way. You must never make a deal with the Fae. if you must make a deal with them, it must be finite in time.” My grandmother braided my hair and told myself and my 23 cousins these rules, and since then they’ve been burned in my brain. I couldn’t wait to pass these rules onto my own children, and plant down our own roots in this land. If only my ex was on that same page with me.
After my ex decided I couldn’t give him what he wanted, I was left to start over and try to figure out what to do with my life when there was this large, empty hole in it. There may be hope on the horizon; I’ve hesitantly started dating again and met someone named David on an app my friend signed me up for. He seems so kind, and focused. He’s a very busy photographer, working in the southwestern PA film industry. We had been going on dates for a few weeks, and he offered to take me on a camping date for one night only. I would usually scoff at the idea of camping, but David was so persuasive. a former Eagle Scout that had a lot of camping experience, and When David picked me up, I lost my trepidation when I saw his bright smile, and effervescent eyes. David had always looked at me so intensely, it felt like he had waited all this time to pick me. And it made me feel so good to be chosen.
On a whim, because we were going to an old growth forest, I pocketed some quartz, iron and Some honey too, as the fae loves sweet things.
“It’s the Harvest moon this weekend, and I thought that with a big moon out, we could both be a little bit more adventurous” David states, driving a bit recklessly up this mountain road. I felt my cheeks warm and couldn’t keep myself from smiling as we finally arrived at the campsite, which to my surprise, had 3 people already setting up camp.
I looked meaningfully at David, asking “do you know them, or???” “ David glanced over and nodded “yeah they’re friends from work who are really into camping, so I thought I’d invite backup.”
“Wait, backup? For what?” I ask. David smirks, and says “you’re not the first girl I’ve brought camping with me, these three just help me sort out which girl is, you know. A good fit.” I arch a brow, decidedly less impressed by this reason. “So, this isn’t your first time camping with a date?” David glanced back and dismissed me. “No, it’s not.” I looked at him for any further disclosure, which he ignored and continued unloading the car. Well then, that’s fine; I’ll be the final girl in this impromptu test.
I bit my tongue and grabbed my brand-new camping backpack from the back of David’s pristine car. I straightened up and after seeing David wouldn’t be introducing me to the three newcomers, I walked forward and stuck my hand out.
“hi, I’m Maggie- pleasure to meet you.” The woman of the group looked down at the proffered hand in a nonplussed way, before placing her hand in mine and smiling brilliantly at me. “I’m Tippi, it is so lovely to meet the woman David’s been going on and on about. This is my brother Rowan, and my boyfriend, Puck.” I offered and shook both Puck and Rowan’s hands, trying not to get flustered.
These three were preternaturally beautiful. David was a photographer, and I wondered what these three were doing behind the camera, not in front of it. Rowan and Puck are both 5 ‘10-6 feet, Puck with the most beautiful onyx skin I’ve ever seen in person, and what seemed to be scarification along his arm. Rowan has bright forest green eyes and freckles like a star map all over his face and upper chest. He was pulling on a shirt when I had approached, so I caught a peak of what looked to be beautiful tattoos weaving in and out and over his arms, back and chest. His honey blonde hair is pulled back in a low bun, making me break my own personal rule of never finding man buns attractive. On his right hand he wears a signet ring on his pinky, the gold glinting in the sunlight.
Tippi shared Rowan’s freckles, but her coloring was entirely different. Tippi had beautiful brown hair braided down her back, and she was the tallest of the three. possibly 6’1”. She was lithe and moved with purpose. She had this soft, dreamy quality to her face, with this beautiful gap-toothed smile that lit up her face. Tippi and Rowan looked like each other when they smiled, and their movements mimicked one another.
Puck gently takes my backpack from me and sets it down, with Rowan offering to help me set up a tent for the evening. David was nowhere in sight, so Rowan grinned conspiratorially at me and queried “Mind if I help you then? Unless you know what to do?”
I grinned and said ‘’ did the price tags give me away?”
I heard Tippi laugh, sounding bird-like and musical, before she looked at me again. “oh, Magpie. I’m going to enjoy you.”
I tried to take it for the compliment it was meant to be and ignored the undertone of menace in her voice. David hovers and watches this, not offering to help, instead laughing when he said “you weren’t joking about how pathetic you are, darling.”
I bridled at how he just spoke to me, going to tell David so, until Rowan steps in and says.
“You won’t be speaking like that again on this trip, David.” David looks back and pales considerably at Rowan’s face, before nodding mutely.
“Okay I’m sorry, it’s been famine times lately, and I’m just cranky. I’ll be better tonight, right Rowan?” Rowan didn’t respond.
Rowan was wonderfully easy to speak to. David clearly didn’t know them as well as he thought, as his jokes never seem to land. Puck and Rowan watch him strangely. Tippi was the one who suggested we start our hike up the mountain to see the rock formation that was the largest draw of this location—- a beautiful quartz geode- like cave called Hotaru, in Lenape. Before we left, I took out my iron ingot, quartz and little jar of honey and left them all in a corner by my tent.
Puck sees this, grins and winks at me, before taking tippi’s hand and moving to lead the group. Rowan gently leads me into the middle of the group, explaining that since I had the least experience, I shouldn’t try leading, or bringing up the rear. Especially until I was comfortable knowing the path.
While walking to the cave, Tippi told us the legend associated with it. Her voice is musical and soft, she begins.
“Many many, many years ago, a young Lenape couple were in love. The woman was the daughter of the shaman, and the man was a strong and capable warrior, who always fed his people. But both were betrothed to be married to another. The young woman, unable to believe she would lose her love forever, cried, and cried, and cried until the forest spirits heard her. This woman was most beautiful when she cried; and these sprites loved pretty things. They collected her tears and put them all over the cave, creating Ahotasu.”
“Thats beautiful, and somewhat sad” I said. David laughed and brushed my arm, cajoling. “you’re too soft sometimes babe, it’s just a story.”
I pull a face at him, muttering “stories like that exist for a reason, I think it says something for them to have lasted as long as they do.”
It wasn’t until we both quieted down that I noticed the whole forest went silent. As we continued walking up the trail, the size of the trees are truly overwhelming. The undergrowth and forest were so lush that barely any sun made it through the canopy. These woods are old, dark and deep.
The cave mouth appeared from nowhere and was more beautiful than I had expected. There was a manmade sign in front and to the side of the cave. I understood why the Lenape created a story surrounding its creation as we stepped in. There was a plaque on the wall explaining the history of the cave, how it was a mine for a bit before the company shut it down at the request of the Lenape, and due to multiple mishaps that occurred when trying to establish the mine. Collapse, flood all said the land refused to accept the mine.
As we entered the cave mouth, Dave pulled his camera out and began flashing dozens of pictures. Not of me, though. More so of Tippi and Puck, who looked put out by his invasion of their private moment. It’s then that I hear the camera start whirring, before it starts smoking and hissing. Odd. I arch a brow at David swearing up and down, bringing out his spare camera after that one is trashed. I’m a magpie by heart, and the beautiful crystalline walls take my breath away. My fingers itched to dig out a crystal from one of these walls to take back home with me. Rowan walked up and laughed at my yearning expression. “Why not just take it?”
I paused before answering, as the question seemed to have a deeper meaning. I got the sense it was important to answer seriously. “I don’t know, after that whole story, and knowing these could be her tears, it feels like too much like stealing. My gut is telling me it’s a great way to get cursed. Silly, right?”
A look flashed across Rowan’s face, while he shook his head in the negative. “no, it means you can practice some restraint. Taking them from the walls would be dangerous; you never know which one would trigger a collapse. “He laughed as I snatched my hand away from the wall and paled significantly. “but if it’s on the ground, I imagine it’s fair game.” He bent down and picked up a quartz point roughly 6 inches long and handed it to me. I took the gift and smiled brightly.
We settled on taking 6 crystals back, though he understood the monster he’d created when I began magpie-ing my way through scattered rocks along the ground. As we packed up to leave the cave, Rowan was honestly being a much more attentive date than David, which made my stomach turn a bit. Rowan noticed me staring at his tattoos, and explained each tattoo’s meaning to me, his smile fully showing his slightly crooked teeth that he endeavored to keep concealed. It was the most human thing about him, that crooked smile. When we left the cave entrance, I fell in between Tippi and Rowan, with Tippi walking beside me. Tippi mentioned that it was a full harvest moon tonight. I asked “David mentioned that too. What’s so important about the Harvest Moon?”
Tippi smiles faintly, responding “it’s something to be experienced, not described. When you see it, you’ll know.” as I slowly got surer in my footing, I took in more of my surroundings.
The forest is old, and dark, and deep. And the trees and plants seemed like they were trying to reach out and touch my arm, my legs, or hair. If David or someone didn’t know where to go, we’d never get back home. I looked more closely at the trees, feeling like I kept seeing eyes opening and closing in the bark, bright brown- and ochre-colored eyes. When I would glance back, they’d be leaves, or branches. I have such an active imagination, but I promise you though, that more than once, I heard my name being hummed by a bird, and heard trees moving throughout the forest.
I glanced forward, hoping David would offer to walk alongside me, but he was focused and loudly complaining about his camera crackling and never turning on. He finally became so upset he threw the offending camera into the forest, causing me to call out “David, what the hell?” “Magpie it’s trash, it doesn’t work, I’m not carrying it around with me anymore.” I lost sight of the camera and was too afraid to step off the trail or too far from rowan or tippy to try and find the camera. It did make my stomach turn, especially when the forest became hushed in response to David’s outburst. David continued on with a story about how he had “discovered” Puck and Tippi and brought them into his company as field photographers. “They’ll never let me capture them on camera though, but one day I will, I promise you. I’ll have discovered the next Gigi Hadid with Tippi.”
For some reason, I reach out and grab Tippi’s hand, giving it a squeeze and rolling my eyes behind David’s back to her, indicating he’s so full of it. Tippi glances down at our joined hands and gives me the most dazzling smile. She squeezed my hand gently before letting it go, as we reached our camp by this time.
We started a fire and pulled out some ready to eat meals to eat. As we did this, David went back to the car to make another phone call, leaving me to gather firewood with Rowan.
We fell into companionable silence as we gathered the wood and started the fire for dinner. As we settled in for the night, Tippi brought out an actual, cauldron- looking thing to set on a groove above the fire and began pouring in wine and some spices. “Tippi, can I take your picture, you look like a very cottagecore tumblr witch right now.” Tippi glanced over at me and laughed, before tilting her head like a bird, and saying “go ahead”.
I snapped a photo on my iPhone and showed it to her before David looked at my screen and grimaced in frustration. “$700 camera and every picture she’s in, she’s blurred or just out of frame, but you get her picture perfect.”
“That’s because she likes me,” I remarked dryly, tucking my phone back into my vest pocket, and rose to get some space.
I had secreted s’more ingredients into my bag and brought them out to share with everyone. David disregarded them with a sneer, but Rowan, Puck and Tippi delighted in the ingredients.
We spent the next part of the evening polishing off the smores materials, Rowan and Puck enjoying the marshmallows raw, while Tippi and I burnt ours black and charred. Rowan at one point, leaned over and took his thumb to rub chocolate off my mouth, before sucking the chocolate from his thumb. I held my breath as he did so, and heard David clear his throat before slinging an arm over my shoulder again.
That was when tippi offered me the first cup of mulled wine. I don’t know how to describe this taste. It was both refreshing, and coated my throat like melted chocolate. I was going to have to bug her to get the recipe for this. As we all sipped our mulled wine, David moved away again, to go back to the car and use his phone again. Rowan took his spot. He tilted his head, considering me. Rowan finally settled on asking me “what do you want most in this realm, Magpie?” I answered with no time at all. “Kids. I can’t wait to be a mom.” I cover my mouth quickly, surprised by my own honesty to that question. Rowan nodded sagely and refilled my cup before moving out of David’s seat again.
That’s when the fire began to dance and sway in rhythm with Tippi’s voice, and the forest came alive and joined in our revelry. The trees swayed to and fro, with the fire quietly hissing and crackling as we sat around. My eyes started getting heavy, and I felt like I was more asleep than awake at points. I caught flashes of things that couldn’t have been there; horns sprouting from Puck’s back and his collarbone; Tippi, covered in a cascade of brown hawkish feathers, with her eyes bird-like and her beautiful hands talons. Rowan, with the tattoos covering the whole of his body and hardening almost like scales all over; his beautiful hands were dark red. His eyes now dark, dark green never left my face as he spoke to Tippi and Puck. I felt like I was lucid dreaming, and wondered how to wake myself up from whatever this was. David appears in my periphery, and I can’t speak, can’t warn him away, can’t move as I watch him walk over to the fire and sit next to them.
The wine. Was it drugged? Why would they do that? I try to calm down and go to stand. I shoot up, far too fast and my vision goes fuzzy with spots. David starts walking over to me, and Before I can open my mouth to scream or grab a weapon, I feel the blow that puts me in the dirt. As I’m losing consciousness, I see Puck, Rowan, and Tippi come to stand behind David.
It’s a scream of terror that wakes me. I can feel a roaring fire now, and a cacophony of voices around me. I try not to move too much, before I realize I’m tied to a tree trunk, unable to move.
As I’m trying not to panic, I feel a hand come up under my chin and lift it to look into dark forest green eyes. The hand that grasps my chin so gently is no longer human but scaled, smooth, and ends in very, very sharp claws. I hold my breath and don’t fight the tilt, with my eyes coming up to meet Rowan’s. I’m starting to shake, and it takes every logical fiber in my being not to scream when I look into Rowan’s eyes. They’re no longer human, with cat-like pupils that have narrowed into slits. He turns my head to the left, and then turns my head to the right. He hisses in vexation at my head wound. I notice his lack of dress; he’s taken off his shirt and shoes, his feet ending in dragon-like toes, with wicked looking talons on them. They looked like they bent backwards now.
Rowan’s beautiful jaw was more pointed, and out of his head grew bony horns that in sharpened points. He had more of these horns on his shoulders, at his elbows; He was broader now, the tattoos he had were moving around his skin, with the battle scenes actually happening across his torso, and the triskelion on his chest shimmering.
He said nothing for a while, tilting my head to the left to get a better look at my injury. It was at this time I heard a spoon hitting the inside of a jar. My eyes landed on Tippi eating the honey I had brought by the spoonful, holding the jar right over her mouth to get the last golden drops out. She glanced over at me and her many toothed mouths widened in something that mimicked a smile.
“You’re awake! Thank goodness, mortals are so delicate sometimes.”
She was now covered in what looked like downy feathers with flight feathers on her arms and back. Her colors were more muted than Rowans. She was a gorgeous burnt umber and muted amber, almost perfectly matching the changing fall leaves on the trees that surrounded us. Camouflage flitted across my mind, before I remembered the situation I’m in. Tippi races forward preternaturally and comes right to my face, reaching up to draw a sharp claw down my face, drawing blood.
Rowan seems to crowd her away from me, taking up more space in front of me. She hums and clicks from deep within her chest, then stands to walk back to the fire. I look back at Rowan. Rowan leans so close to me I think he’s going to kiss me, before his tongue darts out from his mouth and he licks a long stripe up my cheek, coming away with a tongue full of blood. He closes his mouth and eyes in rapture, and I can hear this clicking noise rattling from somewhere inside him.
I lean further into the tree while his arms trap me against the bark on both sides, as he leans his body close and licks a long stripe up my forehead again, cleaning my face of blood, and lessening the pain significantly. His scaled and tattooed chest crowd my face, and I’m overwhelmed by his presence, his scent. I try not to retch when I feel my stomach start to turn as his tongue probes around my head wound. His face is flecked with my blood now and it seems like he’s got a taste for it. He slowly rises and says something guttural to Tippi. Tippi looks back at me and tips her head like a bird, evaluating whether a prey item is worth it. Tippi calls out for Puck, and he comes from the darkness, with blood all over him. He rubs his nose against Tippi’s in an oddly human affectionate gesture and nods his head.
“Ask.” Rowan says, breaking me from my wool gathering. His face is passive. “ Magpie. We know how smart you are. You’ve put it together, haven’t you? Don’t lie to me, I will know.”
It’s Puck’s name that should have given it away. The ability to navigate the forest with no trail, and David’s broken camera all told the story. They’re the fae. Everything my grandmother ever told me was real.
I feel like I can’t breathe, as I mutter. “ You’re the fae. And it’s all real isn’t it.” Tippi crows in delight, and says “ what a clever offering David brings this harvest. None of the others could stop screaming to answer us. Sad.”
I look at Rowan again, feeling anger and betrayal begin to ebb, and my eyes begin to tear. Rowan tuts and coos to me “ none of that little Jackdaw, you passed our test with flying colors.” I arch a brow at him, and he answers my unanswered query.
“Every Harvest moon, David brings us our Tithe, in place of himself. Because we cannot offer up an innocent, we take them to Ahotasu and see whether your mortal greed outweighs your good sense. Usually it does, and they dig into the walls and take Ahotasu’s tears. You didn’t though. Why is that, Magpie? What makes you different from the others? It’s been many that have tried taking things that never belonged to them. “
I shake my head a bit before hissing from the pain, at a loss for how to answer, Rowan’s chest rattled again in an approximation of a laugh, as he grins at me, all teeth.
“you see, I * have* thought of it. David has served his purpose. We already planned to sacrifice him. But you, are unexpected. An Innocent. We promised the forest two offerings this year though. This moon was going to be a spectacular harvest offering. Our lands would have twice the food, and feast for months on your bewitching bones. But you didn’t take anything without asking. And I’m loath to break our rules now. What to do with you?”
He purrs, “what would you do to live tonight?”
“what would you have me do, to survive?”
“David found out quickly that taking pictures of things that don’t belong to him without a tithe is not a smart way to survive. He offered to bring us other people to eat in his stead, and has done so for years. He’ll be dealt with tonight. I look at him horrified and feel tears spring to my eyes at the bleakness of what’s going on. I shove down those feelings, not having time for them at this moment. Rowan is still speaking to me, so I tune back in.
Rowan continues “But we knew eventually, he’d bring someone we liked more than him, and his deal wouldn’t survive that person. So, Magpie. We took a vote, and it’s unanimous. I’ll offer you a different deal.” David had been leading me on this whole time. He did pick me, just not for what I expected. I flush with shame and my stomach drops at the realization. My cheeks burn in humiliation as I try to keep from crying.
“Mortals are fickle, but the ones like you I like. Separates you from the animals like David.” He reaches back out to feather his claw down my cheek tenderly. He brings his face close to mine, Rowan continues to watch me as I tremble.
“So I will offer you a different deal. You will not be the sacrifice, but you will be a part of what we offer tonight. Join us to grant fertility to the forest, and dance under the moon with me.” I could feel sweat beginning to gather at the base of my spine and run down the side of my face. Rowan sees me try to pull back, and takes issue with that, cupping my chin and demanding.
“Open your eyes back up, Magpie. You cannot shy away from this. Will you join us, and survive? Or will you be weak and die? Which is it, magpie?”
A story comes uninvited into my head, about how to never make a deal with the fee, unless it’s absolutely desperate. Make them specific if you have to make a deal, and finite. I hear another pained scream breach the air, causing Tippy to tip her head back and scream too, laughing all the while.
“What do you want from me, Rowan?” Rowan smiles toothily and continues on,
“You’ll be my bean chéile tonight. You’ll let me feed you, dance with you, and tie ribbons in your hair to celebrate the coming winter. Do this, and your life will be saved tonight.”
Doesn’t sound so bad, does it? “I’ll do it.”
“WONDERFUL!” Rowan yells and the roots that had previously held me pulled away in a gentle caress, and Rowan pulls me up to stand. Still woozy, he sets me in a fold out chair to braid those ribbons through my tresses, being very careful with his clawed hands.
Puck brings a brass bowl over to me, his chest making those rattling, pleased noises again. He tilts my head up and kisses me full on the lips, before he dips his finger into a bowl of dark ichor and traces a symbol on both cheeks, and my forehead. Rowan lifts me again, with Puck backing away smiling, as Tippi steps forward now, and kisses me full on the lips, just as Puck did.
“Open up, or I’ll make you open up.” She says so demurely, as though she’s asking me the time. I reluctantly open my mouth and she put two leaves in my mouth. Holly for rebirth, and Rowan for protection. Swallow. I chew furiously, scrunching my face before I choke the bits down. Tippi pushes my head back and brings a cup to my lips, as this liquid breaches my mouth and I’m forced to swallow. Her face passive, she glances at me approvingly.
Rowan then steps in front of me, and takes my hand now, leading me to where the screams are. The faces in the trees came out again; each tree with weeping eyes, or curling grins, and watching us- or me, so carefully. It’s not just them, there are others.
Other creatures, all different but similar in shape, come out from behind trees as they watch me. I know I’m a lamb up for the offer and try to curl into Rowan’s side and make myself as small as possible. I’m clenching my hands so hard they start to go numb, but I can’t bring myself to loosen up.
Rowan looks over at me, and shushes, “ Be calm. I already told you no harm will come to you. The forest knows it’s time, and it grows restless. The revelries can only wait so long.” He brings me in front of a large Oak tree, with what looks like a mass of gnarled bark in the center. - until I realize it’s not bark, it’s human skin, and that this is where David has been this whole time.
The brutality of what’s been done to him is artful, in a way. He’s naked, and he’s had twigs, branches, and vines threaded through his skin and arms. Very thin and delicately racing up his arms and his veins, bulging out in places. Branches had been plunged into his skull to look like horns. Puck is standing in front of him, admiring his work as he turns to greet us. The pained screams were coming from him. If I look too closely at him, I can watch the vines moving under his skin as they do god knows what to him.
That’s when I feel Rowan let go of my hand and place a wicked looking piece of obsidian in my hand. I narrow my eyes, “what is this?”
“Tonight will be very special; part of this trade is you taking his life. This is my second gift to you. Take this and begin the Feast. You must do this sweetling, it’s the only way to keep you safe. I feel his arms band around me, leading my hand to David. I don’t stop to think and drag the dagger across David’s throat. It is not easy, and it is not neat. The cut is ragged and jerky, and David begins choking.
Rowan steps around me and grins, slashing at David’s exposed stomach to catch at his innards. Not to eat, just to cause pain. I try to back away and hit a hard chest behind me, whirling around to see Puck, with his bright white eyes and his chitinous body. His mouth pulls up the corners and he set me aside. He, Tippi and Rowan call out and join the feast. Rowan looks at me with something closing in on pride, before he leans down and bites down on David’s face.
David’s still alive when they begin to eat. Rowan pays interest to his face, biting his tongue and ears off, while Tippi and Puck begin in the middle, ripping him open before they pull out his liver. Puck offers it to Tippi the way one would offer a bouquet of flowers. I’m frozen, and I can’t move, and I realize then that I’m surrounded by a feeding frenzy. I back up against a tree, unable to look away. The three begin laughing and throwing their heads back and making calls, calls that are responded to in kind by what sounds like several other groups, doing the same thing. I hear screams and moans of pain being carried in the wind.
I hope to slip away while they’re distracted, as more fee pour out of the forest in all shapes and sizes. Some clothed, most naked. Plenty covered in viscera. Rowan finds me, His hands, covered in viscera come up and cup my face, before he leans down and presses his lips against my mouth in a pantomime of a kiss.
He pulls back and murmurs “ let me feed you now” He forces my jaw open as he pushes something in his mouth to mine, and tells me to swallow. I gag and swallow, I’m certain it’s bits of David, as he coos and praises me for doing such a good job.
Rowan tilts my chin up and says if I vomit, I have to eat it again. I swallow, grunt in exertion and finally cry out, as Rowan smooths my hair away from my face. “Please, please just let me go home. Please.” I look for something, anything in his face when I plea for help.
Rowan leans down, kissing me again, “a promise is a promise, magpie.” He’s smiling and seems so pleased with himself. He takes me to the fire, and roars something aloud to the crowd. Every face turns to stare at me, and I feel very exposed. Some look on with hunger, some curiosity, and some with weariness. They all begin to rattle deep within their chest, a chorus that makes everything hazy around me.
Rowan turns me and takes me in a dance around the bonfire, so many faces and fee clapping their hands and celebrating I look behind him to see the trees come alive and take part in the feast of David, the forest rejoicing in the spilling of blood; the last thing I see before I faint is Rowan, telling me he has such great plans for me….
I wake up to a forest ranger calling my name, flashing a light in and around my eyes. “hello?” My head hurts worse than it did the night before, my whole-body hurts. “Thank god we found you. You have some worried friends and family, Miss.” “how- what happened?”
“I’m going to let the officers tell you about that, we need to get you out of here and home safe. This is a crime scene now, we’d best not disturb it.” the voices of the ranger drift off, as I see that the former camp site is surrounded by EMTs, forest rangers, even FBI and state police. David had been a suspect in the murders of missing women for quite some time, I found out. I’m number 33 in a list of victims. Rowan’s voice pops back up in my head. “What makes you so different, Magpie?”
I still don’t know the answer to that question.
The next few hours pass in a blur. I have my wounds cleaned, and my clothes gathered as evidence. I’m sent home in a borrowed pair of scrubs, as my clothes are pieces of evidence now. and it isn’t until I’m allowed to be taken home by a friend that I realize something. I had been spinning a ring around on my ring finger to fidget with and looked down at it. On my ring finger, is Rowan’s gold signet ring. My stomach drops when I see this, and I look up at my friend Maya then. She sees my face crack like an egg as I start bawling, deep guttural cries leaving me as she hugs me as tight as she can in the front seat of her car, just sitting with me until I can breathe again.
Maya stays with me the first night, and Tony comes over the next. They fret over me, call work and explain my absence. I insist on changing the locks. Locks won’t be enough to keep Rowan out if he really wants to get in; nothing will. But it gives me some perverse peace of mind. They’re lovely, and caring, and have no idea how to comfort me at this time.
I know that as days pass, I’m being watched. I catch it with the scent of pine needles and honey on the breeze, or when I see a perfect replica of one of Rowan’s tattoos appear on the cover of a book. I can’t bring myself to tell anyone what “happened.” David won’t be the thing that breaks me.
Rowan? The fee? I’m not so sure. After three weeks, the dreams begin. Vivid dreams, or memories from that horrible night, of the fee singing, and ribbons binding Rowan and I’s hands. Of Rowan putting his ring on my finger, of me having a cup full of blood brought to my lips and imbibing from it. The dreams progress; the most intense one, being one in which I’m heavily pregnant, with Rowan stroking my pregnant belly lovingly. He leans down and kisses my womb, before he looks up adoringly before I feel something moving around underneath my skin. I dream labor begins and a baby comes forth, scaled and terrible and beautiful and comes screaming into the world. Rowan leans down and bites the umbilical cord, before handing our child to his sister as he insists on “cleaning” me up and healing my injuries. I can feel myself fading away, watching my baby be fed a red milky substance, tippy cooing down lovingly at my baby.
I wake up screaming and sweating, and nausea wins out against me. I barely make it to the bathroom, emptying my stomach. I sit in a corner curled up by the toilet for a bit, grounding myself. It’s just a dream. It’s just dreams. They’re just dreaming processing trauma.
I can’t fall back asleep though, as I think of how nauseous I’ve been the past three weeks. My mood’s been swinging back and forth. Dread curls around the base of my spine, as I know what it is I’m denying.
I don’t believe it until I have three positive pregnancy tests in front of me, though. I stare at them angrily, wanting them to not be true, rubbing my stomach absently. I call Maya, telling her I need to talk and put the tests in my bag before opening up my front door. And down on the front step, is a jar of candied ginger, and thermos. I already know who left these. On the jar of candied ginger is a note that reads “for the nausea I see you having.” and on the thermos, the note reads “ Drink me” almost like an Alice in wonderland tag. Enough, I decide. I step out into my backyard and call out “Rowan. You must be here if you’re watching me. Come out and tell me what’s going on.”
Rowan just comes forward, peeling himself away from the trees surrounding my property like early morning fog rolling in. He’s human looking, mostly. He’s got this lazy, satisfied grin on his face, his hand going to my womb proprietarily.
“Magpie, our offering worked. You’re the fertility of the forest being given back to us. This– he pointedly indicates to my womb -” is the first pregnancy of the fee in quite some time.”
“Why the blood, whose is it?” Rowan grinned and shook his head, murmuring “I’ll divulge every detail about who that blood was if you’d like, but I strongly suspect that you won’t, magpie. It’s for the baby. You’ll start to feel it too, when your thirst can’t be quenched. I will bring you gifts every week at first, until you’re farther along, and you must eat solids.”
I turn green at the mention of solids, and a bit lightheaded. I’m near a panic, as he comes close and shushes me, cupping my face far too intimately. “You said all you wanted in this world was a family. That you wanted to be a mother. You brought us honey and gifts, and the forest chose you. This is your gift. It will be a child of both peoples, and it belongs to you. For a time.
I know from everything I’ve read, rejecting a gift is usually an atrocious idea with the fae. I stop and try to rethink what it is I want to say, but don’t get the chance. Rowan looks around and seems to listen to the breeze, before he leans down and pecks me gently on the lips; “I must leave now. Drink what I have left you, pet. I will take care of you and make sure you have everything you need for our child.”
Rowan looks at me hard, then. “Magpie, I will always find you. I will always know where you are, and I will always come for you. Do not think of running or disappearing. I will always find you. And the ones who hide, always regret it.”
As he says this, figures peel off the forest and show themselves. Faced with all terrible shapes, and sizes, all watching me with curious looks in their eyes, before they melt back into the forest, leaving me standing alone again. It’s the whole fae folk watching over me then.
As the forest settles back down again, I walk back inside my house, dropping my purse by my backdoor. I looked at the thermos I had left and put a kettle on for tea. As I wait for the water to boil and contemplate the 8 ounces of blood in front of me, I find myself rubbing up and down my stomach already, trying not to get too excited. A baby. A baby of my own. A chance to set down roots, and pass on legacies, and stories of our own. The more I think of this, the more I yearn and hunger for it. I can feel the gnaw begin, as I stroke my stomach absently, setting my bag down. I’m no longer interested in what Maya may have to say about this. I am very thirsty though.
I set the tea bag in the hot water and watch it steep. I add sugar and milk and unscrew the top of the thermos gingerly. The blood looks thick and dark, and I tip it slowly over into my teacup, adding a considerable amount. I bring the cup to my lips,
And drink.