Everyone thinks I’m crazy. Well maybe I am? Crazy or not there’s one thing I’m sure of. We lost something. Me , you and everyone else on this planet. We lost our innocence in the past.
June 7th, 2002 was the day this all started. I was always a vacant soul. Always searching for wonders above the horizon. Never seeming to be satisfied with the pleasures of life.
This continued throughout my entire life. Eventually leading me to become an explore. My name is Anthony porter and this text will set me free from the chains of the past and the demons of my soul.
The Amazon, the worlds biggest colossal mystery. Much was unknown about this geological location. Other then it being inhabited by tribes such as the Yanomamo and the Kayapo.
Me and a few other explorers were tasked to map down a few hundred cubic miles that hadn’t been fully throughly researched. The members of this expedition were Brandon, Reagan and Joel. I didn’t know much about these guys.
I mean of course our campfires at night consisted of talking about urban legends and home drama, but nothing was concrete and personal. Although I did have a good idea of what type people they were.
Speaking of urban legends. Joel would make us real uneasy at night. Those campfire stories held something true and sinister to them. Out of all of us he was definitely the most informed about ancient history and theories.
He wasn’t the friendliest guy on the trip but he definitely was someone we needed. One of those urban legends that stuck out to me was one called “El Tunchi”. El Tunchi is an evil spirit that haunts the jungle and terrorizes people with an eerie, whistling sound.
Some say he’s an amalgamation of all the souls that have perished in the rainforest, while other legends describe him as the ghost of a man who became lost and died in the jungle.
You see…. There’s different types of fear. There’s fear of being harmed or betrayed. Then there’s the worst of them all, Eerie fear. The type of fear that penetrates your Psyche and delivers a long lasting psychosis state. With every word that was spoken from Joel I felt that fear paralyze me.
We continued our exploration of the Amazon. Many days passed by of us eagerly awaiting for the next big mystery that we were going to uncover. This sadly wasn’t the case. For weeks on end there was nothing but vegetation , stupid mosquitoes and many venomous animals.
Yeah sounds fun right? Although this all changed on this particular night. The moon wasn’t the same. The jungle started to become more vacant of life and light. The eeriness skyrocketed… This is when I realized earth has its dark shadows and I was in one of them.
We started setting up for camp. As usual we all sat around the campfire and talked about our personal lives and future goals. Well that was until Joel decided to spin the wheel and take that conversation south.
“So we’re not gonna talk about the moon?”
Joel asked .
“Wait y’all noticed that too? I thought I was going crazy.”
Brandon said
“Yeah guys I really didn’t think y’all noticed that either.” Regan added
“Yeah it’s not supposed to be that color or even in that position in the sky.” Joel remarked
“So now that we know we aren’t all crazy. Let’s start to theorize why this is occurring.” I said.
The moon had ancient text written on it. It only started to appear until we entered this part of the jungle.
“Hey say Anthony. Why have you been acting so strange? It seems like my stories affect you in a certain way. You look a lot deeper into things then most people.Don’t you? What’s going through your head kid?.”
Joel said
In this moment I felt like he violated my safe space. What I’m referring to is my Conscience. I felt like he could read my mind, and notice my every moment. I quickly ran up a response.
“To be quite Frank with you I don’t know. Maybe it’s the way you articulate your words? Or maybe because you seem to know a lot more than any of us here and you speak with such honesty and trustworthiness.” I replied
“You’re Right about two things. I’m honest and I damn well do know a lot more than y’all. So trust me when I say this. Something sinister is near.” Joel said
“Joel is there something you know about this land that we don’t.” Regan asked
“Well of course this is speculation, but these grounds are home to an ancient tribe. I don’t know their name but I know that they reside deep into the past. They did many forbidden rituals and were frowned upon by other tribes.
I know this because I’ve been to many local tribes that are well known and I’ve had conversations with schämen’s. They speak of the forgotten land or the dark jungle that many haven’t returned from. I believe that we have entered that jungle and are currently residing in it.” Joel explained
“Well if that’s true let’s remain calm and find a solution to all of this. Because I need to come home to my family. I used to be arrogant of these so-called “urban legends” but this is something that’s caused a great disturbance within me.” Brandon said
“Well I’ve always believed in this shit so let’s get the fuck out. Why are we waiting around?” Regan said
“We can head back. But tell me What you guys have done with y’all’s lives. You call yourselves explorers but you don’t have the bravery or hunger for curiosity that you’re supposed to have.” Joel said
“You all, I hate to break to you, but I agree with Joel. This is what we signed up for no matter how eerie this all is. We have to do mankind a duty and uncover the secrets of the past” I added
We eventually all came to an agreement. We would give ourselves 3 days to explore and map down as much land as possible. After that we will all head back to headquarters. For two days straight we all started to notice differences in each other.
What do I mean by this? I mean I just stopped trusting these dudes and likewise for them. Our conversations were very blunt and short. It was as if we’d all lost our light.
I felt drained , mentally and physically. I heard strange noises. I can’t give you too many details because I can’t even remember them myself. But with every foot deeper into the jungle I was going deeper into the rabbit hole.
“What are these carvings?!” Reagan said
“Stay away from them! Don’t touch anything that looks strange. We have entered the center of the ancient tribal lands.” Joel said
I remember distinct red carvings on trees all around us. Shadows swarming around us in the distance, and that eerie whistling sound sends vibrations through every bone. We all stayed still and waited for something to appear. Nothing appeared that night. Nothing was visibly seen.
Why I’m I saying this? Something was supposed to greet us. I knew it and I just know everyone else did too. A Meeting was awaiting for us all and there was no escape.
That night we finally broke our silence.
“Hey guys, why have we all been acting so strangely with each other?” I said
“The deeper we walk into this jungle the less I trust y’all.” Reagan added
“I’m scared of you guys. I don’t know what any of you plan on doing at any moment. I don’t know why, it’s all of a sudden.” Brandon said.
“I completely understand what you guys are feeling. But we can’t let this jungle manipulate us all. I mean what could any of us do to each other? Exactly, so let’s start trusting one another.” I said.
“I know you’re trying to make everyone feel better and keep everyone United, but that look in your eyes hasn’t disappeared either.” Joel said
“You fucker! What’s your actual problem man? Ever since I met you it feels as if I have no safe place to think. You always seem to figure out what the hell I’m thinking about. I don’t give a fuck if you’re observant to that degree, but you need to really start keeping it to yourself.” I said.
“Look Anthony, I really do Like you. No matter how much of an asshole I might come across as there’s something about you that separates you from the rest. Everyone seems to be stuck in a fake reality but you on the other hand seem to be in tune with the deeper meaning to all things. No matter how scared we might all be I know that I’m not the only one who is aware of the reality most have separated themselves from.” Joel replied
I finally felt safe. His every word made me feel warm. When they usually wouldn’t. I felt less alone in this nightmare of a reality. The strange thing about this whole situation was I always liked something about him too no matter how strange of a person he was. There was a deeper meaning to all of this but I couldn’t quite put my tongue on it.
“Joel, what is your goal? I do agree with you in a way. You and I are very observant and retrospect thinkers. Although it seems like we have different agendas. So what is yours?” I asked
“Of course there’s the usual replies, but I have goals that are too complicated to explain right now. I’ll get back to you or maybe I won’t. We’ll see what type of mood I’m in.” Joel replied
“Guys hold on hold on! Whisper, I hear something approaching us.” Reagan said
The forest grew dark. The trees stopped flowing. One path and one path only was visible , we followed. The sinister whistle started to echo across the forest, and grew as we walked closer.
“A staircase?” Reagan exclaimed
“Joel what do we do?” I asked
“Well we’re here for one reason and one reason only. Let’s go down these steps and see what this ancient land has to uncover.” Joel replied
“I was really looking forward to exploring the Amazon. Although this doesn’t feel right. Like come on guys what’s been happening to us? Is it really the smart thing to do?” Brandon said
“Brandon if you want to head back with me let’s go. You’re completely right. They can send the navy seals into this shit hole. We need and I mean need to leave this place. Y’all can go die in that hell pit down there. My instincts are telling me that my life is way more important than whatever so called “colossal mystery” is down there.” Reagan demanded
“Listen up you little bitch. You’re gonna both stay with us. Head down these stairs with me and Anthony or I’ll make you two!” Joel said
“Hey hey! Chill the fuck out Joel! This is a team where we make decisions together. Let’s make a vote. If we tie then we don’t go down there. There needs to be three votes. So , all in favor for continuing this expedition raise your hand.” I said.
“Just as I expected….. Me and Anthony were the only two to raise our hands.” Joel said
“Joel, what are you doing?!” I exclaimed.
Joel bolted towards Reagan and tackled him, restraining him. He started to continually yell “I know what’s awaiting us. Don’t you mess this up coward!”. Brandon attempted to rescue Reagan but to no avail, Joel completely and utterly battered him leaving him unconscious.
You may be asking. Why didn’t I do anything in this situation? I have two excuses, one I would like to stick with and one I greatly regret. First of all Joel was a stocky tall fellow. At least 6’4 245, I Wasn’t gonna have any part in that.
Another reason that I stood by while this occurred was out of merely selfishness. I wanted to know what was down there. I wanted to feel important even if it was life threatening. It was like a drug to me. So high off of it that I didn’t care about Brandon’s bloody battered face. I’m a horrible human being at times. But aren’t we all?
There was no longer a fight left in Reagan. He complied and didn’t Mutter a single word. Brandon woke up and was puzzled about what had happened. We all brushed it off as if nothing happened and continued down the staircase.
“Woah… These stairs, they’re so trippy.”
Brandon said
“Fuck you Joel for forcing me to come this shit hole”. Reagan added
“Cry me a river Reagan I’ve made you more of a man today then your father did coward.” Joel remarked
“Guys what is that….?” Brandon said.
“Hold on guys, we’ve entered an open area.” Joel replied
“Our flashlights aren’t strong enough to see what’s going on, hand me our other one in the bag.” I said.
“This whack ass flashlight isn’t turning on!” Brandon said.
“Hand it to me.” Joel said
“
Do you….. do y’all guys see this too?” Reagan said
“Man, I hate Joel.” Brandon added
In front of us lie an ancient city. Completely abandoned and vacant Of life. Shadows swarmed around in the distance. It was a cold, desolate
environment.
“Guys I’m starting to feel weird. My every ounce of being is feeling this disturbance.” Reagan said
“No kidding.Guys? Guys ?! Please tell me we’re gonna be okay.” Brandon added.
We all came together and started hugging. Grown men hugging each other? We definitely did, we were nothing but mommy’s little boys when we entered that ancient city. At least we were, Joel stayed paused in amusement.
He never replied to any of us. He was completely fixated on something else. I always knew this man was a creep. Although at the end of the day he was still human, and he has yet to show those qualities in such a chaotic situation. We stayed bunched together and kept walking. At this point we started to somewhat adjust.
You may be wondering. What did this ancient city look like? Well from what I could see with our limited light, I saw grand demonic statues. Things you wouldn’t even find in a satanic cult.
Not just that but also strange patterns on every wall and trails illuminated by a dark sinister red.
(Vibration Hits)
“Aw shit!It’s coming again!” Reagan exclaimed.
“What the hell is it saying?!” Brandon asked
Another vibration, stronger than the last one, hit us. We all struggled to talk or even walk. Just imagine for a second. Every fiber of your being, feeling an overwhelming vibration rattling all that you are.
Even down to your
consciousness. This was beyond a nightmare. This wasn’t meant to be uncovered. This was a whole new domain of suffering and Agony. In those moments I believe we all wished we were dead.
“Joel where did you go?!” I said.
“No!” Brandon yelled.
“Kill me!Just fucking kill me please! Whoever you are, I’d do anything for you to just kill me and take me out of this misery!” Reagan begged
“Rise” unknown entity voice
At the sound of those words the agony and suffering ended. The language was ancient and I couldn’t understand it. Although somehow my consciences interpreted everything perfectly. Slowly the echos rose in intensity and the entity revealed itself. An ancient shaman, completely bone and clothing.
“What do you want from us?!”Reagan asked
“Please my lord, all we wanted was humble findings! We’re exploring and this is what we do for a living!” Brandon begged.
“Ahaha…humble? I can taste and sense every single one of you all spirits. There is nothing of this so-called humbleness. A deep dark ocean , a void. That is what y’all are.”
Shaman expressed
Before I could even mutter a word it’s like our beings we’re taken to another place. An ancient city, a beautiful rainforest with vibrant blue clear skies. I couldn’t interact with the physical place but I could observe everything.
Somewhat like a spirit or ghost. Native children and adults ran around in pure bliss and harmony. Beautiful Instruments played Symphonies across the city. There was zero negativity or anything of that nature in this place. It almost felt like home, something we have all forgotten. Then suddenly, dark red clouds appeared over the ancient grounds and mass suicide took place.
Children not even aware of the darkness of their world forcibly grabbed any object they could and battered themselves to death. Every inch of that city was flooded with blood. The cries and yells only lasted for a few moments. Until the city was completely dark and stained with blood. Every statue turned into something sinister and mutilated.
Then it hit me. Me and my crew are inside this ancient city. The shaman we spoke to was the leader of these people that resides in the past.
Suddenly we were right back at square one. In the dark ancient city with the shaman staring deep into our souls.
“Now your judgment must come!” Shaman demanded
I was taken into my memories and emotions throughout my entire life. All the times I thought of things that no one ever knew of came tumbling down towards me full force. I felt a great embarrassment and shame for my thoughts in the passed. The things no one tells one another, concealed away in the darkness.
You reading this, you know what I’m talking about. We are all sinister in our own right. My faul thoughts ranged from all different types of things but they all originated from a place of pure darkness.
I Wasn’t being judged for my physical actions. I was being dissected from my inner thoughts and memories. The sins that stayed in my head…in the darkness where I only thought I could have known and accessed.
I snapped out of my trance. I wasn’t the only one experiencing this. Reagan and Brandon started muttering to Themselves. Although Joel was still out of sight.
“Brother…. Why would I think of that? Now you’re gone! Now I’m in fucking hell. And now I can’t ever apologize!” Reagan said
“A dirty fucking animal! I am no better than the scum of the earth. I thought I was safe. I thought that place could never be found. Now I lay here on the verge of death. Not from the external world but from my inner thoughts that have been uncovered.” Brandon said
Before I could listen on, the trance overcame me once again. This time though, I was witnessing Myself from outside of my own body. Sort of like spirit or ghost. The eeriness of witnessing yourself outside of your own body is something most people would never understand.
To put it in perspective, imagine for a moment. Every time you walk past someone and gaze at them. Within the first thirty seconds you create your perception of that person off of their appearance, speech and Etc.
Although looking into the mirror is something different by far. We look at ourselves in the mirror throughout our entire lives and Create our own identity, persona and perception of ourselves.
Seeing Myself from an external point of view was as if I was staring at someone else entirely, Barely recognizable. Now this was where everything truly brought me to the pits of hell. I gazed into my own eyes. Darkness! Fear! Hatred! Envy! It Engulfed my eyes. I saw deeper into who I truly was.
I was shot back into my body, and screamed to the top of my lungs in pure agony
And embarrassment, shame and hatred of my own spirit. I grabbed the closest object near me and started to batter myself in the head.
Continuously screaming and crying wanting to end my own existence as fast as possible. On the verge of losing consciousness I felt a hand touch my head. I turned around and it was Joel. Staring at me with sort of confusion and excitement.
“You good there buddy?” Joel sarcastically said
“Joel… where did you go? You didn’t experience everything we just did?”
“Before I explain anything, just watch over there. It’s about to be the end for our comrades.” Joel replied.
I looked to my right. Brandon and Reagan were completely silent staring at the ground with broken shattered souls. Brandon ran up a staircase nearby in the city and back flipped backwards completely shattering his neck.
Next Reagan followed but as he got to the top of the staircase he stopped. Then he went on to yell at the top of his lunges “oh darkness I inhabited your lands for too long. Now it’s time for you to consume me and pay the price!” He then went on to bang his head hard enough on the staircase to split it open.
The noises and the sight of these two deaths left me puzzled if it was time for me to go too. I questioned what point was there to go on living when I’ve hit Rock bottom with no returning. I knew at that moment that not a night would go by without me living in pure agony of the past and well I was right. Before I could continue zoning out.
“Snap out of it Anthony…”
“Joel what is going on..?”
“Seems like you’re too shocked to even be afraid at this point huh?”
“I always hated that about you. Always seeming to know what I’m thinking about.”
“Maybe because we’re two sides of the same coin.”
“Tell me Joel when all of this happened. Where did you go?”
“Anthony, I’m not who you think I am. I have many secrets, many dark ones. Before I rant on about myself let me inform you who you just saw. That ancient shaman is called a shadow of shadow. The visions you saw of the ancient blissful city that went to shit is where we are residing but I’m pretty sure you know that much already.
To become a shadow of shadow you have to have immense spiritual connection with innocence. That shaman you encountered was the tribe leader of this ancient city. Like you guessed… he was connected to his people on a deep spiritual level for decades. He was and took pride in the fact that he was the leader of such a blissful paradise.”
“I don’t mean to cut you off but Joel please tell me i’m gonna make it out of here alive.”
“Hmmm well that’s up to you. Now can I continue because you rudely interrupted me?”
“Yeah sorry I’m still just in shock and agony.”
“Well hearing what I’m about to say won’t Make it any better. Like I was saying. He took pride in his leadership. Although he was still human and still inquisitive. He wondered to himself. What was the point of continuing to live just to die and rot in the ground? He wanted something more. He was selfish and needed more than the heaven on earth he led. He looked into forbidden tribal rituals. One had caught his eye.”
“Let me guess. The mass suicide I witnessed in vision was the forbidden ritual?”
“You’re correct Anthony. You have to maintain Some sort of leadership In innocence. Once that’s checked off the list you have to acquire a droplet of blood from every inhabit. Lastly, you must slowly lead them into the dark. What do I mean by this?
Look at yourself, Brandon and Reagan. The mind is a safe place to most. He needed to corrupt their minds like our entire world is currently. Once that is done he commends the ritual and the mass suicide takes place.”
“And he becomes immortal?”
“Correct, all around is immortality. The human eye can only see so much. For example psychedelic drugs reveal more to us but still not nearly everything. Becoming a shadow of shadow is a dark ritual worst then any evil described.
Once you become a shadow of shadow you become the dark matter of the universe, the worst of the worst. You can occasionally tap in and out of our dimension. That is what that shaman did. They thrive for violence and anything to do with it.”
“Ok… I see now. I never knew that forms of spirituality are real. It seems like we’ve lost our touch with it in the past.
Right?”
“Not necessarily, these rituals still take place. There’s many dark corners in our world Anthony. The tribes you see now are just a figment of what used to be an ancient civilization like the one you saw in your vision.”
“I’m lost Joel. I don’t know what to do? I mean if I continue to live it becomes aimless. I need a greater purpose.”
“Well now you have the chance to obtain that. We aren’t lost and manipulated like everyone else! We can see past these illusion’s! So Anthony join me. You have the chance to become immortal. We won’t die like sorry rats! We can have a greater purpose and fulfillment!”
“I knew there was something wrong with you. I’d rather die today with no purpose then to become darkness itself! You’re scum Joel, truly scum.”
“Well I cant say I hate you. Although I envy your good hearted nature. I’ve accepted my darkness long ago. I could easily kill you right now. But, the world needs people like you who are aware. So leave! Leave before I skin you like a fucking pig!”
“You lost your sanity! I value my life more than ever knowing deep dark evil like you are working behind the scenes.”
“Anthony… before you go. Just remember, it may not be today, tomorrow or ten years from now. But I will accomplish my goal and do the ritual. When I do , you’re fucked. I will and I promise you. That I’ll come looking for your soul. Slowly sipping on what will be mine one day.”
Before he could go on I ran as fast as I could. I ran and ran and ran. For weeks on end I tried to find my way back home. I had lost my ID and all my belongings. Although at some point a rescue mission was conducted and I was on my way home.
I made up some bullshit excuse that we had gotten lost and we came across a cartel base, that I was the only one who managed to escape. Lame excuse right? Well what else was I supposed to say?
You’d think that my only problem at this point is my mental health issues. That’s false, I’m scarred yes. I’m broken inside, definitely yes. I cry in fear and agony every night? Just forgetting any time I’m alone. I sense Joel’s presence now as I speak. I wonder to myself. Did he accomplish his goal? Did he complete the shadow of shadow ritual?
What lies in the dark shall never be brought to light. We all owe the dark a fee. We inhabit a fake paradise. A farm preparing us for our future consumption of the dark. Some things should remain a mystery. Until later… Joel has been calling my name sinnersterly in dreams. I think it’s his time to consume my soul like he said he would one day.