Hello you endlessly masturbating pigs of reddit. I have a story to tell. Hopefully you won’t shit your pants by the horrors of this tale, even tho if story happens to be as abominable as your pimply fat faces, atleast for once you’ll fall asleep.
Some time ago, I had this idea of becoming friends with my sweet little neighbor who had adorable cherry colored cheeks, who also happened to be named sweet little Marry. Now this sweet little Marry had a crush on my neighbor, this dark skinned abomination who’s father most likely slept with a honey badger, because his smartass gruesome lookalike son kept looking over my fence to see what kind of trick am I doing with my dog who happened to be named Garry.
Now the thing is, Garry loved playing with a stick. I mentioned this fact for a reason! Don’t you dare to forget it.
Sweet little Marry, as I said before, had a crush for this dark skinned irony of fate. My friend, who happened to be named Oleg, was an imbecile.
- Hello, Jonas!
- Move away from the stick, Oleg. Garry is trying to eat it
- I’m so soo-so-soo-rry, Jonas. My mommy asked if I can borrow your bike and ride to a shop and buy mommy some vetegables for dinner
- Its vegetables, Oleg, vegetables. Ok, take my bike and go.
Anyways, one day of 1932, April 5th, I brought a stick for my dog Garry. Garry grabbed the stick, ate it and when I realized stick is gone, it was too late. Garry died because stick clogged his throat. This moustache’d subhuman saw everything over his fence and seeing I just basically killed a dog with a stick, ran for his mummy to tell her everything. “Ah dang it”, I thought.
As you would predict, I spent some time in jail, became a better person and when I came back home, I saw some changes. First of all, sweet little Marry got married to my ugly neighbor. Secondly, Oleg died from eating a stick. And last but not least, I found a stick on my table. It was weird, I never had a stick on my table so the first impulse I had was to destroy it. And I did. Believe me, I tried everything, even burned it, but it came back to the same place every single time.
Now how do you kill something that’s immortal? That’s right, you use his gun against him.
One Christmas night we had electricity gone for a moment. I walked through every room to look for a flashlight, but something weird happened. I heard a noise, loud one. To this day I remember the way this noise spread fear over my throat. The noise said “VETEGABLES, MOMMY NEED VETEGABLES!!”
Aaaah, no! It’s the ghost of Oleg, the innocent little soul who died by the same creature that killed Garry and that’s about to kill me! Oh no! I think ghost of Olegas wanted to tell me that I should be aware. Aware of it. Of something everyone fear. That no one calls it by it’s name.
So I realized it was “Now or never” situation. I had to kill the stick or else it would’ve grabbed me. Clogged my throat as if it was just a dirty toilet.
End of part 1.
To be continued.