My mom was a single mom. She worked her ass off to give my brother and I the best things but she knew that she wanted us to have a stable home to live in. She would move apartments and she didn’t want to put us through all of that. She figured that it would be best to let our dads parents keep us until she got on her feet. She had full custody of us and would spend time with us every second she had.
My brother and I shared a small room, we had a bunk bed. He let me have the top bunk because I was a bit younger than him and I felt more safe up there. If I ever heard any weird noises or anything I would climb down and sleep with him in his bed. He knew I was more scared than he was. I’d always wake him up and tell him if I thought there was a something in our room, to which he would get up and turn the light on to show me it was really just a shirt hung weird in the closet or something. My brother was my best friend. As kids we make up stories of the monsters under our beds, most of us afraid of the dark, or of the unknown. My monster was real though. I was 4 years old when I first saw it.
One night I woke up to the George Lopez intro playing, weirdly enough it was calming. I realized it was probably sometime after 2am so I adjusted my head on my pillow and tried to go back to sleep. I always scanned the room to make sure no monster were hiding. This time right as I was about to close my eyes, they met the figure standing in my doorway. Just as I was about to say my brothers name the figure motioned with its finger in front of its mouth as if to shush me. I couldn’t muster up the courage to call out for my brother so I immediately hid under my blanket grabbing onto my care bear that my mom got me for when I would be away from her. It smelled like her and it calmed me but that didn’t last long. I felt our wooden bunkbed begin to shake ever so slightly as if someone- or something- was climbing up the ladder to my bed.
My brother was a fairly heavy sleeper so I knew he wouldn’t wake up to just the movement. Still under my blanket and holding my care bear, I braced for what was on the other side, looking at me, breathing heavily enough for me to hear. I stayed under there as it lifted the blanket by my feet. I felt the coldness of the air come under the blanket as id been almost hyperventilating from being under there so long. I’m not going to go into detail about what happened but I’m sure you can fill in the blanks- it still scares the shit out of me. I felt a cold hand grab onto my leg, and then the other, and slowly it pulled me toward the end of the bed. It started touching me, still with my face and upper body hidden under the blanket. It only lasted a few minutes and just like that it was gone.
The next morning I thought to bring it up to my brother but after what it did to me, I didn’t want him to stay up waiting for it to come again. I didn’t want him to be scared like I was. Night came again, this time I stayed awake until George Lopez came on. Terrified, I scooted all the way up to the head of my bed laying almost sideways and put all of my pillows and stuffed animals toward the end of my bed in hopes that if it came back, that would somehow stop it from doing whatever it was that it wanted again. No monster that night.
A few nights go by and I thought I was just being crazy. I thought I must have made the whole thing up because it was so late and it had to of all been a dream. I went to sleep. I woke up this time to my tv being off, which was weird because my brother and I always slept with the tv on to have some sort of light as I was terrified of the dark. My monster knew that. As my eyes try to adjust to the darkness I make out a figure standing in front of my tv. This time I muster up the courage to say my brothers name. I say it quietly as if, if I had said it quietly enough that it would wake my brother up without alerting the monster. I didn’t even get the first syllable of his name out before it covered my mouth with its hand and said just loud enough for me to hear “if you wake him up I will kill him”. I started to cry and it said it again. It kept its hand over my mouth the whole time it was in our room, touching me. I cried and cried but kept quiet. It left.
I realized soon after, that the those few nights it hadn’t visited me, that it was a test. It was a test to see if I would tell my brother. I knew now that I couldn’t ever tell him because to me, his life was at stake. Days, weeks, years went by and he visited me every night. For almost 5 years of my life every night my monster tortured me. It got progressively worse. At some point I dealt with it. I knew what was coming so I didn’t bother to fight back anymore because I didn’t see an end to it. I couldn’t tell my bestfriend because I didn’t want what was happening to me to start happening to him.
I tried to live normally as any kid would. I’d play with my brother outside making mudpies, I’d go to school and wonder if any other little girl had a monster like mine. I’d wonder why my monster chose me. I’d day dream about having a big house with my brother where we would set booby traps every night to scare the monsters away. I’d make forts in the woods with my brother and we’d do dances and cast spells on them to make sure they were protected from the monsters. All in vein though, as I knew what would happen every night.
Eventually the monster started coming out in the daytime. Pulling me into rooms or waiting until nobody was home. Having its way with me like I was some kind of toy that after it was done with, I was just thrown to the side. In the day time though, I would be able to see its face. I dont know if that comforted me a bit or made it worse but nonetheless I knew what it looked like instead of it being a shadow in the dark. It didn’t seem to like my brother, or I guess wasn’t interested in doing the things he did to me, to him. I realized that my brother was basically home base. It couldn’t touch me if I was with my brother. I stayed with him all the time. If he left the room I went with him, if he had to go somewhere I went with him. If he wanted to play GameCube I played GameCube. I became his shadow. I couldn’t be with him at all times but for the most part it worked. Until one day when my brother had gone on vacation, I cant remember where he went but I think it was with his friend or something- somewhere I wasn’t allowed to follow him. I was alone completely in my room for the first time in a long time, alone in the house with my monster. It was a really bad few days. Worse than it had been before. Things that caused me not only fear but physical pain. I wouldn’t eat or sleep really at all until my brother came home. I missed him so much.
After my brother came home my mom called us. she was working a lot and saving up money to have a house for us three. She called and told us that she had a surprise for us. She came and got us and told us that we’d have a new step dad. A new stepdad and a new house! The house we dreamed about. The one where my brother and I would booby trap and be so safe in our room. She told us it would only be about a week before we could go. The next week we were so excited knowing that any day our mom would come and take us to our new home. I slept in my brothers bed for that week. I didn’t want the monster to come back, at night at least, and I was able to sleep, finally.
My mom picked us up and we were on our way. To our new home, we got there and I found out my brother and I would actually have our own rooms, and while I was excited that I finally had my own big girl room I was scared. I knew what the monster looked like but I was still scared that somehow it would get to my room. Months go by and while the monster hadn’t physically been in my room I had dream after dream of it being there. I still wasn’t getting good sleep. Sometimes I had a few nights where I wouldn’t see it in my dreams, others it felt like it was there- like really there.
My mom and I were hanging out, at this point I was around 8 years old. The topic of monsters came up and she asked me if I had a monster. I was hesitant to answer because I remembered its threats…but seeing as I was with my mom now, and we were hours away from where it lived I knew it was now or never. It had been months since I had last seen it, it couldn’t hurt me anymore, right? I told my mom and she told me to describe it. I told her everything I could find the courage to. She asked me if the monster had a name. I knew its name. I did. I knew everything about the monster after the years of torment it put me through.. but I was scared. I was scared of the consequences. I was scared of getting anyone in trouble. I was scared the police would take me away for “making up lies” because why would I keep that information for so long and not tell anyone?? My mom held my hand and I said its name.
“grandpa”
Things furthered from there and my mom contacted the police and went through all the steps. we went to court and I put my monster behind those cold jail bars. I did that. I didn’t need to dream about the booby traps and the safe house anymore. I could sleep soundly knowing that he was in jail and couldn’t get out to hurt me anymore. He got 12 years in prison. That seems like a long time when you’re 9 years old.
Time went on and years went by. I’m 22 now, I have the worlds best fiancé, I own my own home. I have 2 amazing cats. I still have the nightmares though. those followed me but my fiancé helps out a lot with that. Every so often out of the corner of my eye I see what I think is a glimpse of my monster.. but that’s all it is. My heart still races when I wake up at 2 am for no reason expecting there to be a figure in my door way. unfortunately I hardly sleep well but its been like this my whole life practically. But hey I’m 22 now. I made it long enough to.. to see my.. to see my monster serve his whole sentence.. with just enough life in him to find me, or worse, to do the same things he did to me, to another little girl.