Sometimes only a face, or maybe an observing eye. But they’re there, always watching. They make me see things that don’t exist, to the point I cant tell their playful delusions from reality. Sometimes a small thing, like a lamp that moved without me knowing, or just my keys, stuff that could be forgiven for believing you misplaced.
But over time, it’s gotten progressively worse, I’m walking into different houses, I’m forgetting where I work, but I never forget them, when I find my way home, they laugh. They make no noise, but their humourous malice is there. I’m their fucking plaything.
My grandma visited, (or was it my mom?) She brought me my favorite food. Sushi. There I was, enjoying my time with her, and then I blink, and I’m in bed. They poke their heads through the wall, laughing at me, their soundless, soulless jeers entrench themselves in my brain. The meal was 8 hours ago. But I only blinked? I’m under their thumb,my reality is nothing but their whim.
A strange man visited me today. He claimed to be my dad? I never knew my dad. Not that I know of atleast? He asked if he could remember me. Who the fuck is this guy? After I said no and told him to leave, he just walked into my kitchen and disappeared. Like he was one of them screwing with me again. First it was the goddamn sushi lady, now they’re fucking with my memories? One of their faces pop out in my couch. I had to destroy it. Furniture helps them somehow, I had to destroy it. They took the forms of people and pinned me to the floor. Their words are still etched into my brain: “He’s having another episode” the first said in an exhuasted demeanor. “We need to transfer him to supervised care, he’s a danger to himself” the second said in a more solemn way. SUPERVISED CARE? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAY MEAN? ARE THEY TAKING ME SOMEWHERE? WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE.
They’re watching me, I understand now, they’re convincing me that I’m insane. They sent a lady to my house, she was one of them. She was taking to the walls, she was asking them things. She was asking them weird things :”how is he?” “Can he still remember me?” It’s like she was trying to convince me I knew her. In her own desperate pain, she brought me sushi. I’ve never had it before. And I’m not eating anything those fucks give me.
They’re watching me, I found them hiding in my plants. But they sent the men to subdue me before I could destroy them. One in particular looked different from the rest. He said good things only good good things. “It’s okay buddy” “You’re safe here” the man had a way of calming me. But he’s one of them, I cannot trust him if he’s one of them. They hurt me now, I can’t do things other people do, I can’t move my legs, and I don’t feel good. I don’t feel good and I hate them. It’s their fault. They take to this white cinder block place and they don’t let me leave, and it’s making me sick. I just want to go home. Where is home?
They don’t show themselves anymore, but I feel them watching. They use people to trick me now. They think they can trick me but I can’t. They can’t they can’t they can’t. The nice man came by today. He says good things, I dont think he’s one of them, his voice is different, it’s like I’ve heard it before. Like someone who cares about me, rather then them. They are hollow and empty. They think they can trick me. But the nice man will help me.
The nice man will help me.
They make everything hurt, I can’t remember much things, I remember the nice man.
The nice man will help.
He will help
Help