I joined the vampire coven because I wanted to meet people not because I wanted to drink blood.
And obviously it wasn’t a real vampire coven. It was a bunch of teenagers my age and a bit older who were fond of wearing black clothes and watching movies about bloodsuckers and the rest.
And when I say meet people, I mean, meet girls.
Now that’s all clear, I can tell you what really happened next.
It was a Saturday night and the coven had gathered in the basement of one of our parents’ houses. It was a good set up, with a pool table and bowls crammed full of snacks.
There was a wide screen tv as well and an old series from the 1980s was showing. All the vampires on screen were completely gorgeous.
I stood in a corner eating a handful of chips, wishing I looked like that.
I was short sighted and had acne on my cheeks and chin. I’d hoped as I got older, this would clear up, but every morning there seemed to be a new, angry outburst.
I put the last of the chips in my mouth and pushed my glasses back up. None of the on-screen vampires wore glasses but I could not wear contact lenses without my eyes getting irritated.
Still, at least I had been accepted into the coven despite my complete lack of good-looking.
I’d moved with my folks to the town six months before and if it hadn’t been for the coven my weekends over the long summer break would probably have been totally solitary experiences.
As it was, I got to do things like this.
Things such as grinning at a girl who walked past on her way to get a drink from a bucket that was full of ice and bottles and tins.
In return, she blinked at me – which I took as a win as it was a lot more reaction than I usually got from girls when I dared smile at them.
She was called Beth and she wore a long, flowing black dress, that was carefully torn in places to show glimpses of more black fabric underneath.
With an awful feeling my complexion was flaring red – a long way from the pale skin of one of the cool undead on the widescreen – I went to get some more chips. Comfort eating had always been a thing for me.
With a fresh supply stacked up in my palm, I tried to concentrate on the tv. But it was no use, Beth was chatting to another girl, Jessica. She was wearing her blond hair up in a way that seemed impossibly sophisticated to me.
And as I tried and continued to fail at not staring, Matt breezed up to the girls. He had been picked for the football team at school and deliberately chosen not to play. He had a scar along most of one forearm as a result of a bike accident that had left bone sticking out. He also had stubble rather than the hairy mess that happens when people like me don’t shave. He was sickeningly cool.
Matt said something to Beth and Jessica and they all laughed.
I’d realized early on, that the three of them were the stars, and the dozen other members of the coven were in their orbit.
There were people like them in towns across the country, and people like me.
The only difference was, we were pretending to be a coven.
It sucked.
I looked at the chips in my hand. I wasn’t hungry but I ate them anyway.
Matt, Beth and Jessica were still in their huddle. And I was not the only person who was looking at them.
Amy wore the standard black. Her dress hung just below her knees and she had on black boots that were too big for her.
Like me, she did not look comfortable in her own skin and kept biting her lower lip as she stared over at the coven’s shining stars.
At Matt, anyway. I realized she only had eyes for him.
A girl had never looked at me like that and I felt an all too familiar sadness begin to overwhelm me.
Beth and Jessica meanwhile must have noticed the other girl making eyes at Matt and they gave her a look then leant in towards each other laughed.
From the smug look on his face, Matt knew exactly what was going on as well.
He gave Beth and Jessica a conspiratorial smile and headed over to the other girl.
I could see her cheeks colouring as he came closer and overheard him say, “Hey, we were thinking about getting out of lame central and doing something properly vampiric. Would you like to come along?”
A smile lit up her face and she nodded then followed Matt as he strolled back to Beth and Jessica. Their eyes shone with amusement.
I lifted my hand to my mouth and remembered I had no crisps left at the same moment I realized Beth was looking at me.
“Hey, Brad,” she said, “You want to come with us as well?”
I wanted to tell her that my name was Jeff not Brad. That I was perfectly happy eating chips and watching an old tv series, and that I could see right through her and knew what a shallow person she was really.
But I did none of these things.
I gulped and said, “Yes.”
Because she was beautiful.
I followed the four of them outside. Matt’s car gleamed under a streetlamp. He popped the lock then opened the passenger seat door and held it open.
I was surprised that neither Beth nor Jessica tried to get in. Instead, they climbed in the back seat.
Surely Matt wasn’t holding open the front door for me? I thought.
Amy glanced at me, and I could tell she was thinking exactly the same thing.
“My lady,” Matt said and indicated with a sweep of his hand that, yes, he was waiting for Amy to get in next to him.
She was shaking a little bit as she moved towards the car and got in.
If I could see it, so could Matt. And no doubt Beth and Jessica had as well and they were finding it hilarious.
I looked over at them and the space that was left in the back for me and forgot about Amy. I would be sitting next to them.
My legs felt like jelly as I got in. My right leg was very close to touching Beth’s left leg. There was no way it could not be.
And as Matt started the car and we set off all I was painfully aware that if I so much as twitched I would touch Beth.
It was intense, and it immediately got much worse.
Sitting so close to Beth and Jessica I began to smell their perfume – if it was perfume? Maybe it was just shower-gel and shampoo?
I had no idea, but it was the most amazing, overwhelming fragrance.
I started to shake then, as if someone was running an electric current through me.
And the inevitable happened. My leg touched Beth’s.
“Sorry,” I said in a hoarse voice.
Beth ignored me in a way that yelled, I am ignoring you loser.
I had to endure this until the car slowed to a halt. I climbed out and looked around, and was surprised to see we were parked in the graveyard on the edge of town. While I was standing there staring, Beth and Jessica linked arms and walked off. And Matt took Amy’s hand and led her after them.
Amy looked totally besotted and I imagined she felt like she was floating on air as they weaved their way in between the headstones.
By the dates on some of the headstones, I could tell we were in an old area of the graveyard and I could make out the dates on some of the headstones. The loved ones who were buried there had departed this mortal coil more than a hundred years before.
Some inscriptions I glanced at as I followed the others were too faded to read. There were a few broken headstones as well and the lamps which illuminated the grounds of the graveyard were growing further apart.
I could just about make out Matt, Amy, Beth and Jessica ahead of me. They were approaching a stone mausoleum.
I had no idea what they were doing and a part of me was thinking I should leave them to it. But, it was a long walk back to my house, and I had the fear.
The fear of missing out.
Cursing myself, I hurried to catch up – and did, just in time to see them entering the mausoleum through a wide crack in the wall.
My heart beating like crazy, I followed.
It was pitch black inside and colder than outside. A shiver passed through me. Then I saw a flame flicker into life. And another.
I could see Jessica leaning over a candle and the glint of a lighter in her hand. This candle lit, she moved onto another one.
I blinked and rubbed my eyes as the space I was in became visible.
As well as six slim candles in ornate holders there were symbols spray painted on the wall, scarlet-coloured swirls and intersecting lines that made me think uncomfortably of dark magic. Of dangerous secrets.
Jessica and Beth were by now standing side by side and Matt now had his arm draped over Amy’s shoulders. Her head was resting against his chest and her eyes were half closed in a happy daze.
Beth looked at me and a smile I could not read played across her lips. “Welcome to the lair,” she said. “Where the coven gathers. The actual coven, not the immature fools who pretend.”
“We are the coven,” Jessica said.
“We are the coven,” Matt echoed.
“We are the undead,” Beth went on. “The undead who must follow the ancient rules. Fear the light of day, for it will burn through skin and bone and reduce us to dust. Drink only blood for sustenance, all else is impure. Do not enter unless invited, then we may feed.”
“The undead,” Jessica whispered.
And once again Matt echoed her words.
My mind raced. I was horrified and fascinated. Did they truly believe this?
These three golden students who had successful futures stretching out before them.
Or where they playing a game?
I thought it was this last, surely it must have been – until Beth took a dagger out from within the folds of her dress.
She held it up. It was slim and looked incredibly sharp.
I was transfixed by it until I became aware Beth was moving towards me.
Close enough to hold the blade gently against my neck. “I will open your vein now,” she said, “And drink your blood.”
A tear ran down my face as a cold wave of fear passed through me.
I did not want this. I did not want to be a vampire, or a vampire’s prey.
Beth pressed the blade harder against me and I felt a point of pain begin to burn.
I wanted to move, to run away, but terror held me.
“Don’t,” I managed to say. “Please. Don’t.”
Beth tilted her head to one side and sneered. “Pathetic,” she said, her voice heavy with scorn.
Then she turned her back on me and approached Matt. He still had Amy close, and she was looking up at him in confusion. He put a finger on her lips, just before Beth placed the blade against his neck.
And cut.
Blood began to flow from his skin.
Somehow, Matt did not even wince. He looked into Amy’s eyes and said, “Drink. Show that you want to be with me as one of the undead by feasting on my blood.”
All the colour had drained from Amy’s cheeks but I could tell from her expression that she would do anything for him. For love.
She reached up and placed her lips against his bleeding neck and began to drink.
I couldn’t watch anymore and staggered backwards, and out of the mausoleum.
Then, without thinking what I was doing, I started walking.
After twenty minutes, I tried to order a cab, but my phone was out of credit, so I had no choice but to trudge on.
By the time I did get home, I was exhausted and my feet were killing me. I dragged myself to my room and fell into bed fully clothed.
The next day, I did not get up until after noon. When I went down to the kitchen, my parents were packing.
They were both academics and were going away for almost a month to a conference in Europe, leaving me on my own in the house.
I had been planning to invite the coven round for one of the next Saturday gatherings, but after the events of last night, I had had enough of all things vampire.
Ten minutes later I was standing on the front door step waving my parents goodbye.
When their cab was out of sight, I went back in, closed the door behind me and slumped down onto a sofa.
My plans were to watch tv and work my way through the well-stocked fridge. I clicked the tv on. There was a show about a time travelling pathologist just starting.
I stared at the screen and tried not to think.
I lost days and nights like this. I trudged between the sofa and the fridge and fell asleep then started all over again. The shows soon blurred into one and I was surrounded by crumbs. It was slob central.
Then, one night, while I was flicking through the channels and snacking, someone knocked on the door.
I had no idea who it could have been at that hour and did not answer at first, hoping they would go away.
But the knocking continued, a slow, heavy tap.
I sighed and got up and went to see who it was.
I was shocked when I saw Amy standing there when I opened the door.
Her eyes were red and her cheeks were wet with tears. She said in a shaky voice, “Matt has told me he wants nothing more to do with me. I think it’s Beth and Jessica’s fault. They hate me. But I need him. I need him so much.”
Fresh tears began to run down her face.
I had no idea how to talk to girls at the best of times. I was completely lost about what to do when confronted with a distraught girl, but I had to say something.
“Do you want to watch tv here,” I told her. “Or I could walk you home.”
Still sobbing, she said, “No. Please invite me in.”
I did not understand and just looked at her.
“Please,” she went on, begging now. “Please invite me in so I can feed.”
Suddenly it clicked. I remembered the rules Beth had invoked and realized with horror that Amy wanted to drink my blood.
“I c… can’t,” I managed to say. I was appalled.
She looked up at me. I could see the desperation in her eyes when she said, “I have not fed since Matt rejected me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. Then I closed the door in her face and stood there feeling sick. I waited for Amy to knock again but there was only silence.
After a while I went back into the lounge and sat there trying to understand.
The best I could work out after a sleepless night was that Amy had lost her way. In her blind love for Matt she believed that the rules of the undead Beth had spouted were real.
I felt bad for her, but I did not think there was anything I could do apart from hope she got over things soon.
Two weeks later, I found out on social media that Amy had died. There was a lot of gossip, a lot of nonsense, but as far as I could work out the facts were: She was eighteen years old. She had suffered organ failure after isolating herself and not eating or drinking anything for around ten days. The human body can go without food for quite a long time but not liquids. She had been admitted to hospital, but too late. She was to be buried in a few days’ time and her family had asked for donations to be made to a charity.
I was devastated and kept going back to that night she had come round and I had not invited her in.
I should have been braver, I knew. I should have been open-minded and accepting of the young woman who had asked me to give her what she needed.
I could have saved her. But I had failed.
I sank into depression. I would have done anything to make amends.
Last night, my chance came.
Last night, there was a knock on my door.
I went to answer it and saw it was her.
Amy.
She had returned from the grave. Her skin was pale, her smile hesitant. She was hideous and beautiful. Corrupted and innocent.
I did not waver this time. I invited her in, and she fed on me. It was the most incredible feeling.
She left me before dawn. I sat there for a long time crying.
Tonight, when she returns, I will tell her I want to become like her.
People such as Matt and Beth and Jessica will never understand because, for all their pretence, they are creatures of the light.
But I understand now.
I will follow the rules because they are real.
I will become one of the true undead and be with Amy.
We will be two lost souls together in the eternal night.