The traffic in the city was buzzing, everyone on their daily mission to get to work or to school; their daily mundane routines. I was already late, honking the horn of my Kia while waiting for my wife to bring our son so we can go. He was about to start school for the first time and we needed to find the right school. We already had it narrowed down. Before making our final decision I went toward my old school in the area I grew up. What better than the area where I grew up right?
This is where it all started.
So much had changed since the last time I set foot in that old building and yet the principle was still the same person. It was quite a sizable school built right next to a church. It was one of those schools owned by a church. This wasn’t something that bothered my parents as they were quite religious.
When we grow up we tend to question everything our parents taught us so I chose a different path.
A school is a school, however so I thought I would give them a fair chance.
We pulled into the crowded entrance, there was a church service. At least I can avoid that by going around the back and meet with the principle and teachers observing the way they teach. We arrived during lunch so the kids were outside and we had a half hour to speak to them respectively and determine whether it was the right place for our child to attend school.
My eldest daughter was already in grade 3 and had no need for this kind of thing anymore. It’s a pity her preschool closed down otherwise there would be no option to choose from.
Train of thought is a crazy thing, my mind buzzing as I continue to walk down the familiar corridors thinking about my average childhood in this severely disciplined arena. The school had been slightly rearranged to suit the needs of the staff while the amount of students grew; therefore it took us a while to find the correct room.
The principle was still in a meeting and therefore running late. We waited and started speaking to the teacher who would take our son had we decides to enrol him.
It was off.
The atmosphere was strange and uncomfortable. Perhaps some repressed memories or perhaps something much deeper that has no way of hiding its energy
I thought to myself as the teacher was barking orders at the neatly seated students. Preschool children dressed in neat uniforms with tucked in shirts and a finger in their mouth. “Little soldiers” were what they were raising. Discipline isn’t a bad thing however freedom and love are more crucial for human development!
I sat and waited for an extra half hour before I decided to abandon the idea of my son ever being a part of this elicit authoritarian concept altogether. As my wife and I walked away I yelled profanities at the principle while I was starting to recall all the abuse that had befallen me during my long visit at this institute.
I approached the gate i needed to pass in order to sneak around but someone had locked it while we were waiting for the principle resulting in us having to walk through the large church building filled with people, the front row staring at us without blinking.
My mind had already gone dark, I was remembering things. I was unhappy. In my mind this was the source where all my unhappiness started.
What had they done to me?
I made another scene as all the rush of emotion returned from my childhood.
I uttered something about how no person should be condescending and how a prisoner can’t change their ways while being a prisoner. At that moment my eyes fell on the back section of the auditorium where the faces of all the people became clearer as burdened while they were shrunk in their seats, looking down in despaired.
Isn’t it interesting how we notice certain things more clearly based on our state of mind? If I had been in a good mood, I would be noticing something else, thinking different things.
As we passed them they were occupied with their guilt and own lives, i suppose.
This is the sad reality we find ourselves in when we get our self-worth from the words of one individual without testing the facts I thought to myself. I used to always need validation from others. I guess I still do, that’s the problem. Why else is this all sitting with me so intensely.
It felt strange. It felt painful and I just wanted to get out of there.
Was all that haunted me really that easy to run from? Was the person I had become all that different from the people I was trying so hard not to embrace?
We were out the front doors; we were slapped with the morning sun and a breeze of vanilla passing their bake sale in the distance as we walked further until we reached the final doors which would momentarily free us from the weight of this moment and all the expectations, all regulations and every bombastic stair. I thought it was over, all the memories could be boxed right back in and I could merely continue my path and learn my new lessons about the new life I was bravely embracing.
The show was only getting started.
I was about to be confronted with myself and every profound, unhealed mystery that still lingered within myself.
Emerging from the left of the entrance was an elderly lady whom I did not recognize. She looked as if she didn’t belong; she gave off an eastern atmosphere. Her energy was different. She approached with an intent held deep within her eyes which were Grey like a person who had been born blind.
To make the uncanny situation more intense, she approached us not being part of this organization at all and seemed to have a completely different perspective. A perspective I had become the entire familiar with as everything eastern was my new dedication. I ran toward it and made it my mission.
I’m not sure from where she originated but she gave off the energy of someone who dabbles in palm reading or energy reading just like I did.
She went to my family members one by one in a loving manner to embrace them and tell them something about themselves and offer a sense of encouragement based on our current situations.
She approached my wife first. She had a look of pity in her eyes as she said “my child, you have to let people in. You have been through much and your family do not even know. Walls do not keep the demons out, they keep them in”
These words penetrated me, in that moment I knew that she was not the first person to say the exact same thing that particular day.
Another uncanny coincidence how we pick partners who are so much like ourselves and end up facing the same struggles, sometimes we are even unaware.
She moved on to my daughter telling her about her beautiful imagination and how thoughtful she is, encouraging her to continue being herself.
When she approached me, she stopped dead. She couldn’t understand me. I was not readable. However instead I went into a Trans and told her all about her life, her white aura and her trustworthy dependable nature. She was not puzzled. She smiled. She did her greetings and departed.
This was a strange, wild morning. It weighed on my wife and I; we drove home, having our own thoughts in complete silence.
Later that evening we were preparing supper. We had a house guest that evening sleeping in our spare room; my wife’s sister. She was close to all of us so we spent time with her in the one room.
That evening started off ordinary. We spent most of the time catching up with my sister in law from out of town who had many stories to tell and so did we having mostly forgotten our previous interactions as if it were merely a dream.
My brother in law (my wife’s brother) arrived during our conversation and chimed in on the discussion we had as children were running about the house doing their normal share of giggles and messiness. They blended into the background as we were onto a new subject about politics or travels or some sort of famous celebrity like we usually do.
At this point, I had to leave the room to put my phone on charge in the main bedroom.
As I arrived, in the main bedroom, there it was.
The shadow.
It was a figure in my bedroom occupying the furthest right corner, the entire wall slowly filling with the darkness it was expelling. All you could see was the shadow and its deviant red, burning eyes. The fear instantly took hold of me like a hurricane during a peaceful day coming unexpectedly!
I screamed.
Then I ran back to the lounge
As I was about to hide, there was a loud knock on the front door. It was the lady from earlier. Before I could ask any questions, she yelled “everybody get outside” as she seemed to have a deep knowing, she started slowly walking through the corridor where My sister in law was praying to no avail as it was impossible to change the ever growing dark, devouring my bedroom. She pulled her out of the house and snapped her out of the Trans she was in before signalling me to follow her towards the room I had grown afraid of with paralysing effect.
She had come prepared; she rushed into the room and immediately started chanting a phrase in Latin. Don’t ask me what it meant, I had no time to ask. She continued until the dark was gone, it exited out the house through the bedroom, passing right through me in the process.
We left the room; however the others remained outside, on the front porch, taking in the full scenery outside.
“No!!” I yelled
“It hasn’t left, it is right here. I feel it”! I continued alarmingly
Yes, just as she thought the dust had settled a voice spoke out loud.
The voice was deep and sounded like a thousand men yelling. The thing I feared the most was that it came from inside me!
It felt like I was watching from the outside as I proved to her that the entity had not left while the lights flickered, breaking the windows and making the TV change through the channels. My brother in law came in at that time responding to the alarming noise. The voice shouted to prove its existence and it held on.
It did not want to leave.
The lady was not alarmed, not surprised. She merely pulled out a book; it looked like a journal of some sort. She paged through it and told us that the entity was within me and everything we saw externally was a mere projection and we needed to expel it.
I hadn’t known it at the time but the moment we saw, she had been there for a reason. My hostile internal environment made a perfect home, if you already guess it.
I was probably triggered during my visit and the past came flooding out like an ocean triggering all my darkest urges and fears, leaving me bound by the entity that I created as a depiction of all my fears and unresolved trauma.
She grabbed the book and said she knew exactly what to do. She said there were 5 steps we had to follow in different sections of the house and finally we would be able to expel it. We followed behind her toward the lounge.
Step 1 was the incense she burned. She had me and my brother each light our own to burn throughout. She said that the creature did not like the smell of lavender. Which in hindsight explains why positive energy always smelled like lavender, like she did? It however was triggered by smells such as vanilla, black current (strange that I am so triggered by these things right?)
Once we had finished burning the incense we moved on the step 2
Step 2 was in the dining room area which was an open plan right next to the kitchen. She said we should open the big window to the right, turn on the lights outside which was facing the empty right side of our front yard, away from everyone else. We were to clear the curtains and open the windows; she needed a screen. Upon saying the incantation she would allow me to use the screen to release it.
Step 3 was strange, I didn’t understand it, but I trusted her so I did it. She made us create beaded bracelets for our Arms; I suppose some kind of anti-possession charm or something. Each of us was to have a different colour. Mine was blue and red, my brother’s was black and hers was purple.
I couldn’t manage to do mine so she did it for me.
We continued as the lights continued to flicker more violently, I became more alarmed as the voices screamed and my head throbbed while the devil was becoming disturbed, pounding trying to find a way out. Everything was shaking as if falling to pieces.
She grabbed us and took us to the kitchen where step 4 would occur.
We all held hands facing the kitchen wall as she started another Latin incantation; an intensely complicated sounding one but I think I know what it meant, for as she started, my brother and I were In a Trans. I watched from outside my body as both of us kept chanting the phrase “I am enough” right before we passed out.
All three of us.
I woke up in a field with the Lady, my brother and many people I recognized. We were all seated facing the furthest end of the field.
The lady said the people around me were those that I fear, some I hated and some people that hurt me and I haven’t let go. She said in order to be free I had to let go, forgive myself and let them go. As I did that we started hovering and moving toward the end of the filed some faster than others.
She whispered in my ear
“In your mind you have the power to be anything, to beat anything. You are in full control and decide how fast you go. Everything that you face outside of you is controlled by you and you have the steering wheel. Using your mind, you choose how fast you want to go and where you want to go. You make yourself bigger or smaller!” and the moment I realised that my mind was my steering wheel, my driving force. I sped up, hovering past everyone until I reached sonic speed. The moment I reached the end of the field I heard a thunder like the hammer of god.
I had realised my own power. I was not a victim anymore!
We were back in my kitchen. The lady grabbed me and pushed me toward the window where I stretched my hands toward the glass. What had come out of me felt like thunder and burned like electricity. It felt like an eternity of shaking as it escaped from within me. It went up to the sky and exploded like confetti and I knew that it was over.
It was over